Truth and Humility (33 page)

Now Danny pushed and succeeded in putting a few feet between them.  “So you just let Austin think the worst of you?  Gambled on the likelihood the charges would be dropped against you?”

He shrugged, helpless by the hurt in her eyes.  “I wasn’t there.  Nothing solid could possibly stick.”

“But it could stick to me if the police knew who to suspect,” she deduced with a wrenching sob.  Oh, Lord.  It was too much to adjust to.  “This is like some horrible movie and I’m the sick twist at the end.”

“Now you’re being dramatic.”

“I am
not
the bad guy, here, Derek!  I am
not
the bad guy!  That dramatic enough for you?”

“Would you stop,” Derek pleaded as she stormed over to pick up her clothes.  “We all know that!  And some day you may remember something, but until then you cannot think the worst.  We didn’t know Rena, maybe she attacked you.”

Danny circled around the bed, sat down with her back to him as she dressed beneath the sheet.  “According to Austin she was as pure as St. Mary.”  She went still then began to crumple again.  “You should have told me from the start!” she cried over her shoulder as she yanked on her shorts.  “At least maybe I would have figured something out by now!  Did you think of that?”

“Mom, Dad, everyone agreed at the time it was best this way.  Sure, your memory could come back, and when or if it does, we’ll help you through it.”

“You played God with my life,
all of you!

This is something Derek had regretted most.  Shoulders slumped, he sank to the bed and continued his explanations as they sat back-to-back.  “I know.  Believe me, I was beside myself when Mel told me you were working for him.  I panicked.  Thought the worst.  What if you saw pictures of Rena and it triggered a memory?  You’d give yourself away because you’re too damned honest.”  He scrubbed his face with his hands.  “I was ready to drain my savings to pay your bail.”

A long, painful silence ensued.  Meanwhile, Derek’s gaze found her underwear on the floor next to his feet.  His teeth set.  “Please tell me he at least used protection.”  A quick glance back caught the bare nod of her head.  “Good.  Because if he knocked you up, Pop will kill all three of us.”

Ignoring the jibe, Danny focused on his bail comment and said dolefully, “Maybe I belong in jail.”

“You don’t.”

“How do you know?  How do
I
know?  Am I so evil, I blocked my own memories to keep my sanity?  Am I like Sybil or something?”

“Don’t be an ass.  This isn’t some multiple personality shit.  You had an accident for Christ’s sake.  You’d been electrocuted, nearly drowned, knocked around.  Had a huge knot on your
head.”

Her wide eyes came around and regarded his broad back over her shoulder.  “She was defending herself from me.  But why?  What did I do to her?”

“Don’t over think it.  People get in arguments, have misunderstandings.  They get hurt sometimes because of it, but you aren’t a callous person.  You probably didn’t even know she was tied to the Cahills.”

“Or maybe I did.  Maybe I thought she was trying to cause trouble.  There’s been plenty of that between our families.”

“You’ve always tried to stay out of it.”

She thought about it for a moment.  Her brother was so quick to defend her, to believe the best of her.  He was the mouthpiece for their whole family who apparently believed the same.  If she could get through the day to come without caving to stress, she would go to Austin and hope he’d had enough time to reach the same conclusion.  After all, he’d gotten to know her well enough.

But would it be enough?

Welcome to hell.
  Danny stood in front of the big gate once again and thought of a not-so-distant past.e="palco  Her first day at Cahill Salvage when Austin had dropped that very big bomb.  At the time, she had indeed thought she’d walked into hell.  But hell was a walk in the park compared to this.

She was taking a big risk by coming back.  Timed it just when the location crews should still be around after returning the company trucks.  Derek would throttle her if he knew she’d dismissed her own crew early in order to pay Austin a visit.  But her emotions were at a ragged edge having been tested to the extreme that day.  The suspense was killing her.  She had to know where Austin stood and a phone call was too impersonal.

Just as she suspected, someone had been watching her on the monitor.  The bright red Jeep parked behind her was hard to miss and, though she’d changed into a clean top, she was the same Danny everyone here was used to, grungy and tired from a hard workday, her hair pulled back into a messy bun.

“I don’t need a code to get past this gate, Austin.  You might as well come out and face me.”

But it wasn’t Austin who appeared around the corner of the building.  Her breath came out in a whoosh and stress creased her brow as she shoved her hands in her front pockets.

“Mac.”

The big man jerked his head.  “Danny.”

It was immediately clear to her that her close friend preferred to keep his distance.  What had he heard?  “I need to see Austin.”

“He’s not here.  Went on location today and the crews are working late.”

Sue must have sent her brother to the gate when she’d seen Danny’s Jeep pull up on the monitor.  A slight, humorless smile pulled at her lips.  “So, you’re the chosen one.”

He removed his hardhat and scrubbed a hand over the fuzz atop his sweaty head.  “I don’t like this anymore than you, Danny, but you have to know Boss doesn’t want you here.”

Her heart sank.  “Still?”

“He said if you showed up to tell you next time he’ll get a restraining order.”

Danny bit the inside of her bottom lip to keep it still.  As she watched Mac through the chain links he eased away as if he were too uncomfortable to deal with her.  “And what do you think, Mac?  You’re my closest friend here, you used to trust me, care about me, stick up for me.  But I don’t see any of that when I look at you now.”

Mac stopped inching backward.  “Rena was a beautiful lady,” he said in a monotone voice, staring down at his boots.  “Inside and out.  I liked her.  She and boss were good together.  He was a better man because of her.  I never said that to you before because I suspected you had a thing for him.  But you need to hear it so you’ll understand why I’m taking his side on this one.”

“I’m not asking you to choose sides,” she said softly, regretfully.  “Just for you to belier y="48"ve in me.  Or is that too much of a gamble for you, too?”

It took some time.  Much to Mac’s credit, he put a lot of thought into her question.  But she knew his answer before he turned and attempted to walk away.

It was then Danny realized she’d been clutching the fence in a white-knuckled grip as if desperately hanging on to whatever ties she had left here.  But those ties were apparently severed for good.  And Danny had her pride.

“Mac, wait.”  She almost thought he’d keep going, but he stopped, a pained look on his face when he reluctantly turned toward her.  “Give this to Austin.  It belongs to him.”

So that the man wouldn’t have to approach her again, she simply laid the book on top of the code box and backed away.  If there were anything fair about the world, Mac wouldn’t notice how her body trembled.

As if unable to control the urge, Danny’s eyes skimmed over the front of the big white Colonial home one last time.  The big two-story columns that spanned the wide porch resembled bars now, clearly warning her to stay back.  She absorbed the message, reached for the door handle of her Jeep.  With one last breath, she said her goodbyes and thus dismissed anything Cahill as a completed chapter of her life.

____________

The location crew filed into the commons room after the handful of trucks returned from the Minerva plant.  It was late.  The yard crew was already done for the day, but the locker room was once again busy with slamming metal doors and conversation.  Austin handed Sue some invoices and soaked in the chaos while reviewing some new specs that had just come over the fax machine.

“I need the specifications for the blender, too.  They aren’t here,” he said, frowning at the inconvenience as he flipped through pages.  “We planned on disassembling it tomorrow, but I don’t want to do it without knowing what the fuck I’m dealing with.”

Sue shrugged, looking helpless.  “They say they have people on it, boss, but those specs are old, hard to find.  If I don’t hear from them by first thing tomorrow, I’ll drive over there and knock a few heads together until I have them in my hand.”

“Good enough,” he conceded and shoved the paperwork in her direction.  “Put these on my desk, I’ll go over them more thoroughly tonight, work up a safety plan for tomorrow.  Oh, and Sue.”  When the woman halted her progress through the door, he ripped open the snaps of his denim shirt, shrugged out of it.  “You might want to warn Mac I’ll need him on location tomorrow.”

“Short handed?” she deduced sympathetically.

“Jerry almost lost a finger working the wench today, so I guess you could say that.”

Sue went almost white.  “Sorry, boss, I didn’t mean to – ”

Austin dismissed her concern and yanked the white undershirt over his head without much thought to the woman in the room.  Sue was just one of the guys.  “Just don’t tell Mac, it might scare him off.”

“I resent that,” Mac grumbled from behind having heard every word.  “I may be lacking in coordination, but if it’s muscle you need I can supply it.”

“I think he’s referring to your weak stomach, Mac,” Sue provided helpfully and reached out a hand to pat her brother’s robust middle.  “Mention the word blood and you fold like a child.”

Mac sent her an affronted look and tackled his combination lock.  “I handled Danny’s blood just fine, didn’t I?”

As soon as the words were out, Mac wished he could reel them back in.  Why did he say it?  Boss was putting up a good front, but everyone knew his control was razor thin which proved accurate when the man stiffened beside him.  Anyone who heard fell silent and pretended not to notice.  Sue disappeared.

Slowly, things resumed to its original din.  Austin and Mac continued their post-work routine in silence until Mac gathered the nerve to open his mouth again.

“She came by this afternoon,” he mumbled and backed up to the bench to remove his boots.  “Wanted to see you.”

Austin unzipped his grimy jeans and ignored the tug of regret, instead focused on the cold barrier he’d erected.  “You stuck around late to tell me that?”

“I gave her your message.  She won’t come around again.”

Mac’s voice was laced with melancholy.  Austin ground his teeth.  “Good.”

“Told me to give this back to you.”

When Mac held out the coveted
book, something in Austin cracked.  Such a final gesture on her part.

And that vein in your neck is doing push-ups
, Mac thought when his boss took the book and unceremoniously tossed it into his locker.  Not fooled, Mac watched the man head to the showers behind an intense look of sorrow.

Damn.

____________

Dark thunder mingled with a chilling wind, gravel beneath the soft rubber of her climbing shoes.  The pungent blooms of Sweet Annies wafting around her with a trace of…what was that?  Chimney smoke with a weird wet twinge.  Someone’s first fire marking the start of Fall.  No lights, only shadows in two shades of night.  Rich, muffled roar of water moving along the bank.  Close.

Footsteps.  She turns.  A small arc of blinding blue.  Before the p; bsp;current renders her helpless, she sees the face of her attacker dimly lit by the flash.  It is her own.

A forceful hand shook him awake.  Groggy, Derek lifted his head from the pillow, blinked in the darkness.  At first he thought he was twelve again and his little sister had just had a nightmare.  “I’m up,” he mumbled and plopped his head back to the pillow.