Trusting Sydney: The Temptation Saga: Book Six (8 page)

“Doc, Duke is not my wife’s and my biological child. He’s our grandchild. May I speak confidentially?”

“Absolutely,” Doc said.

“Sydney is his mother, and the father is a man named Sam O’Donovan.”

“Sam? I know his sister, Dusty, well.” Doc’s face went white. “Dear Lord.”

“That’s why I told you,” Sydney said. “I’m so afraid.”

Doc scribbled some notes on a pad and handed it to Roy. “Take the boy to Denver. He needs some blood work pronto.”

“Okay, Doc. We’ll take him first thing in the morning.”

Doc’s eyes softened as he touched Roy’s arm. “Take him now.”

T
he dinner
at Dusty’s with Thunder Morgan had been pleasant. He regaled them with tales of his bronc busting days, and Sam smiled and laughed, almost forgetting about Sydney and Duke.

But not quite.

Now they sat in the family room, having an after dinner drink.

“Thunder,” Dusty said, “would you mind telling Sam a little about you and Amber?”

Sam jerked his head. Amber was Thunder’s daughter, right? Why would Dusty think he needed to know anything about that?

“Not at all,” the man said. “What would you like to know?”

The woman was about to be married to Harper Bay. Surely Thunder couldn’t think Sam was interested in her. What the hell was Dusty doing?

“I’m not sure what I want to know myself,” Sam said. “What are you getting at, Dust?”

“It’s common news around here, and neither Thunder nor Amber mind talking about it. I thought their circumstances might interest you.”

“Uh, well—” Sam didn’t want to be rude, but he couldn’t imagine why he’d be interested in their “circumstances.”

“Sam has had an issue come up in his life, and I think he’d benefit by hearing about you and Amber.”

“All right.” Thunder cleared his throat. “I only met my beautiful daughter a little over two months ago.”

Sam jerked forward. “What?”

“Yup, it’s the truth. I had one night with her mother twenty-some years ago. I never even knew Amber existed till I met her.”

“And you’re sure she’s yours?”

“Absolutely.” He nodded. “I recalled her mother. And Amber, though she looks an awful lot like Karen, definitely has my eyes. That was all the proof I needed.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But Amber wanted to be sure. She didn’t want to force herself on me. Heck, she wasn’t forcin’ herself. I was glad to have her. Never did have a family of my own. But it was important to her, so we had a DNA test.”

“And she’s definitely yours?”

“Yep. Definitely. I couldn’t be happier or more proud to have her in my life.”

“Wow.” Not only was Thunder Morgan his all-time idol, but they had more than bronc busting in common.

“Dusty,” Zach interjected, “maybe we should let these two talk.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Sam said. “I don’t mind if you’re here. I assume Dusty told you everything anyway, right?”

“Yes,” Zach said, “and I know you don’t have any secrets from your sister, but let’s give them a little privacy, okay, Dusty?”

She nodded. “We can go read Seanie a story.”

They left the spacious family room, leaving Sam alone with Thunder Morgan.

“So,” Thunder said, “I take it there’s a reason why your baby sis wanted you to know about Amber and me.”

“Yeah, there is.” Sam cleared his throat. “I’m kind of in a similar situation right now.”

“Well, son, don’t just sit there stuttering. Tell me what’s going on.”

He poured out the story of Sydney and Duke.

“In a way, you’re luckier than I was,” Thunder said. “You know about your boy now. I missed twenty-two years of my baby girl’s life, a life I could have helped make a lot better. She had some rough times.”

“What’s your relationship with Amber’s mother?”

“Well, that’s kind of a sad thing. Karen—that’s her name—isn’t well. She’s in rehab for alcoholism right now, and she’s also gettin’ psychotherapy and medication. She’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Amber didn’t have it easy, growin’ up with Karen. I feel a lot of guilt about not being there for her. Or for Karen, for that matter.”

“But did you even know you had a daughter?”

He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. Evidently Karen tried to contact me after Amber was born, but I never got the message. I was livin’ with a woman at the time who told Karen never to call me again. The woman was obsessed with me. I later got a restraining order against her.”

“Wow.” Sam shook his head. “But you shouldn’t feel guilty. You didn’t even know she existed.”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s mine. I could have made her life easier.”

“Does she blame you?”

“No, absolutely not. She understands. She’s a wonderful young woman.”

“Then you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Thunder nodded. “Objectively I know that. But it’s easier said than done.”

The ache in Sam’s heart eased a little. But only a little. “At least I know my boy has had a good life so far.”

“That’s something to be said, for sure,” Thunder agreed.

“But I can’t help but be really angry,” Sam said. “I wasn’t even given a choice to be a part of his life.”

“Nor was I.”

“I know, I know. And you missed a lot more than I did. Don’t you resent Amber’s mother for not telling you?”

“Like I said, she tried to tell me once. The woman scared her enough to never try again. And Karen’s illness helped her keep that promise. She was paranoid.”

“I’m sorry you missed so much.”

“So am I. I feel a lot of guilt over Amber’s tough life. But she sets me straight. She’s so loving and giving. I wish I had been there for her when she needed me, but I’m here now, and right now, the best thing I can do for Amber is see that her mother gets the help she needs.”

“You’re a very forgiving man.”

“Nah, there’s nothin’ special about me. But when you get to a certain age, you realize that resentment only breeds more resentment. So I’ve chosen to focus on now. Amber still needs a father—maybe not the same way she did when she was a little girl, but she needs me. And I sure as heck need her.”

“What should I do? My son is only five. If I uproot him, he will suffer.”

“That’s a tough one, for sure,” Thunder said. “I wish I had an answer for you.”

Sam stood and paced in a circle. “I’m so angry.”

“I can’t tell you what to do about your son. My situation is totally different. Amber’s an adult and can make her own decisions. But I can give you this advice. Let the anger go, Sam. If you truly want a relationship with your boy, the anger will only hold you back.”

Sam walked to the bar and refreshed his drink. “You need some more?” He held up the bottle of Scotch.

“Nope, I’m good for now.”

“I just wish I knew what to do.”

“Do you care for the child’s mother?”

Sam took a stiff belt of the Scotch. “I thought I did.”

“And now?”

“Now I don’t know. Sydney’s amazing, but she’s lied to me twice now.”

“Twice?”

“When I ran into her again at the rodeo a few days ago, we hooked up. After that, I learned she was engaged.”

“Oh, Jesus.”

“Yeah. He showed up while I was still in her room. She broke up with him and later told me she’d been planning to end it anyway, but still, it was dishonest.”

“Yes, it was.”

“But that was nothing compared to this. She’s kept my son from me for five years.”

“She may have had a reason. Have you asked her?”

“She can’t possibly have any reason that would make any sense.”

“She obviously didn’t keep the child. She let her mother and father adopt him.”

“Yeah. They legally adopted him. Dallas McCray looked into it. He called this morning with that piece of news. It might have been easier for me if they were just raising him and he was still legally Sydney’s child. It’d be easier for me to assert my parental rights in that case.”

“But now he has a legal mother and father who love him.”

“Yes, and more importantly, who
he
loves. What kind of horrid man would I be to take a baby away from his mom and dad?”

“I wouldn’t call you horrid.”

“I feel like one big asshole. But I want my child, Thunder.” He sat down and cupped his head in his hands. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“And as for Sydney?”

Sydney. What a mess. “A couple days ago I thought I was in love with her.”

“Love? In this short time?”

“Yes, damnit. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’ve never dated anyone who makes me feel the way she does. Or did. Or does. Aw hell, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying.”

“Son, I’m going to give you some advice, and it’s up to you whether you take it.”

“All right. I’m listenin’.” Why not? He sure as hell didn’t know what to do. Maybe Thunder had some answers.

“I gave my life to the rodeo. Hell, I had my one nighters—that’s what Amber’s mother was. I’m not proud of it, but I was a young cowboy and women liked me. My life was on the road. I traveled all over and won purse after purse. I had a good life, had all I wanted, but it got mighty lonely comin’ home every night.”

“Are you saying you have regrets?”

“Would I do it differently if I could?” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Knowin’ what I do now, yes, I think I would. I retired a few years ago, as you know, and I was livin’ alone on a ranch on the western slope. Life was good. Peaceful. But I can’t tell you what a glow Amber has brought to my life. I’m giving her away at her wedding Saturday, did you know that? I’ve only been her father for two months and she’s lettin’ me have that honor.”

Sam nodded.

Thunder continued, “People, son. Family. Those are the precious things in life. If you think you love this woman, this woman who gave birth to your child, you owe it to yourself to give it the shot it deserves.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“There are no guarantees in life. You know that better than anyone, being a bronc buster. There’s no guarantee you aren’t gonna bust a rib or worse when that stud bucks you off.”

Sam nodded. The man was right.

“So my advice to you is to go get her.”

What about Duke?
Sam opened his mouth to say as much, when Dusty came rushing in.

“Sam!”

“What is it?”

“Sydney just called.” Her eyes filled with tears. “They’ve taken Duke to Denver to the hospital.” She doubled over, her breath coming in rapid puffs.

“Take it easy, darlin’,” Zach said, helping her to the couch.

“What, Dusty? What’s wrong with Duke?”

Zach looked up, his eyes sober. “They think he might have leukemia.”

S
am drove
to Denver at top speed. When he reached the hospital, he parked quickly and ran inside.

Roy was waiting in the emergency room waiting area. “Carrie and Syd are in with him. His fever’s come down quite a bit, thank God, and he’s much livelier now.”

That’s a good sign, right?” Sam said.

Roy shook his head. “Hell, I don’t know. I wish I knew what was going on. My little boy has a fever and some bruises, and all of a sudden we’re talking about the C word? I can’t deal with this. Four days ago I didn’t know who his biological father was, and now I find out leukemia runs in the family.”

“Leukemia isn’t usually hereditary,” Sam said. “At least that’s what they’ve always told us. It was just bad luck that both Ma and Dusty got the same disease.”

“Yes, the doctors here have assured us of the same thing. Still, Doc Larson seemed very adamant that we bring Duke in tonight once he found out about your mother and your sister.”

“Doc Larson’s a small-town doctor. He’s a good man, but he probably isn’t up to date on his research. Plus, leukemia is highly curable.”

“But your mother…”

“She didn’t make it.” Sam gulped. “But that was a long time ago. Treatment is better now. And look at Dusty. She’s healthy as a horse.”

Carrie came out white-faced. “They’ve drawn all the blood. It’s going to take a few hours to get the results. Hello, Sam.”

Sam stood. “How is he?”

“He’s better.” Her face was streaked from tears. “Sydney is sitting with him now.”

“May I see him?”

“He doesn’t even know you,” Carrie said.

“Carrie,” Roy said, his voice soft yet stern. “He needs to see the child. Try to understand.”

Carrie nodded. “Go on in.”

Sam walked into the room and the sound of childish laughter was like a symphonic concerto to his ears. Duke was laughing. Sydney, her face swollen and puffy, her brooding dark eyes sunken, smiled at the little boy.
SpongeBob SquarePants
played on the television.

“Hello,” Sam said.

Sydney looked up, startled. “Sam.” She wiped her nose. “Hello.”

“How’s the little fella doing?”

“He’s actually doing better. We’re just waiting now.”

“Your mom told me.”

“Who’s that, Sassy?” the little boy asked.

“Sweetie, this is a good friend of mine,” Sydney said. “His name is Sam.”

Sam smiled and walked forward, holding out his hand. To his surprise, the boy took it, shaking like a man.

“I hear you’ve been a little under the weather,” Sam said.

“Yeah. They poked me and took blood out of me.”

“Well, that didn’t bother a big boy like you, did it?”

“Nah. Mama and Sassy cried, but I didn’t.”

Sam ruffled Duke's hair—hair so like his own. “So what’s on the tube?”

“Duke’s favorite,” Sydney said. “SpongeBob.”

They watched television for a few minutes, saying nothing, until Roy and Carrie came back into the room. “Sydney,” Roy said, “you take a break for a while. Mom and I will stay with Duke.”

Sydney nodded and stood up. She glanced at Sam. Was he supposed to go with her?

Fine.

“Good to meet you, Duke,” he said. “I’ll be back to check on you later, okay?”

“Okay.” The boy smiled.

Sam’s heart melted. His son was a beautiful child. He had to be okay. He just had to be.

Sam wasn’t sure what to say, how to act around Sydney. One look at her and he knew he loved her. Feelings didn’t turn on and off like a water faucet. No sirree. And something else was evident as well. This woman loved her son—her brother—however she thought of him.

This was killing her. As much as it was killing him.

“You want some coffee?” he asked.

She nodded. “Sure.”

“Go on and sit down in the waiting area. I’ll go get it.”

Sydney took his arm. “No. I’ll come along with you if you don’t mind. I just can’t sit anymore. I feel like I’m just sitting around waiting for bad news. I hate it.”

Sam nodded. His gut clenched and he felt helpless, as he’d felt so many times before in similar situations. He knew how Sydney was feeling. He’d done his share of waiting around with Dusty for results. It was damned hard.

They walked out of the ER and through a walkway that led to the regular hospital. That area was quiet. It was late, and visiting hours were over. Sam scoped out the coffee shop.

“Damn. It’s closed.”

Sydney let out a huff of air. “Just my luck.” She leaned against a wall next to a supply closet. “Sam?”

“What?”

“Would you please hold me?”

He wanted to hold her until the end of time, but what good would it do?

God, I love her. Love her with all my heart.
But he could never be with her.

Yet she was still the mother of his child, and she needed comfort.

He took her in his arms and held her body close.

She was tall, nearly six feet, he guessed, and fit perfectly against his own six-feet-three-inch frame. Her ample breasts pressed against his chest. How good it felt to hold the woman he loved.

The woman he loved and could never have.

She let out a sniff. “I’m so scared, Sam.”

“I know, sweetheart. I’m scared too.”

“How are we supposed to get through this?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. You just do, I guess. I remember waiting around with Dusty for blood tests. Wanting to do something but knowing I couldn’t do anything. Wishing it were me instead of her. It’s horrible.”

“That’s just how it is.”

“I know, and I’m sorry you have to go through it.”

She lifted her head and gazed at him, her dark eyes sunken and sad. “You really do know.”

“Yes.”

“You poor thing. God, you poor thing!”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not even close to okay. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Don’t worry about that now. Let’s focus on Duke.”

She nodded, and then, out of nowhere, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Her lips smashed to his with a force so raw, he wasn’t sure he’d experienced anything like it. She trailed her tongue across the seam of his lips, looking for entrance. He granted it, and her mouth had never tasted sweeter. Their tongues met and dueled, tangled together in a kiss of passion, of desire, an expression of life.

Sam backed her up against the wall and pushed into her, his erection straining against his jeans.

She met him eagerly, pushing into his hardness, spreading her legs so that his thigh was between them. She begin to writhe against his jean-clad thigh, rubbing herself.

What a turn-on!
But how could he be turned on right now, when so much else demanded his attention?

Yet it made perfect sense. Here they were, loving each other, validating their lives.

He forced his thigh upward and she groaned. He rubbed it against her vulva, matching the thrust of his tongue in her mouth.

He had to have her. Had to have her now. Right here in the hospital hallway. He didn’t care who walked by, who might be in the next room.

Room.

The supply closet.

He jiggled the doorknob and it opened.

“In here, baby,” he said.

The small room was dark and smelled of pine, but he didn’t care, nor did Sydney seem to. He unzipped her jeans and thrust his fingers into her heat.

Soaking wet for him. He thought he might cream for her right there.

“Sam, Sam, I need you,” she whimpered into his shoulder.

“It’s dark in here, sweetheart. Take off your boots and jeans. I’d do it for you but I can’t see.”

Fabric rustled. He fumbled with his own belt and jeans and pushed them down to his knees. When she came toward him, he lifted her and placed her on his rigid cock.

“Oh God.” She sighed.

“Yeah, baby. God, you have no idea how much I need this.”

“I have a pretty good idea,” she said.

She clung to him, and he held onto her with his strong arms and moved her up and down upon his hardness.

Her sleek warmth gloved him like no other. If only this could last forever. If only.

He wanted her to come, but he couldn’t let go of her to touch her clit. As if reading his mind, she snaked one arm between their bodies and began to stimulate herself.

And he was even more turned on than before.

He lifted her soft body up, to the tip of his cock, and lowered her down to his base.

Sweet sensation.

Sweet fuck.

No.

Sweet love.

This wasn’t a fuck. This was making love.

He was making love to his woman in a hospital supply closet, but it didn’t matter. It was love, pure and simple, and it was a validation of the life that flowed through their veins.

“Sam, I‘m coming. I’m coming!”

Sydney’s warmth throbbed against him, and he let himself go.

The convulsions started at the base of his cock and shot through as he shot into her. His veins pulsed, his muscles contracted. His whole body went rigid, relaxed, and went rigid again. When he wasn’t sure he could stand any longer, he had to let Sydney go.

“I’m sorry, baby. I have to put you down.”

Her legs slid down his thighs. “It’s okay. God, it’s okay. That was amazing.”

“Yes, it was.”
God, it was.

“You are amazing, Sam. It’s you. It’s not the act. It’s you.”

He wanted to say the words back to her because he meant them with all his heart. How could he live without her?

Could he forgive her?

What about Duke?

Duke
.

His baby son might be very ill right now. How had he gotten so out of control that he was fucking in a closet when his son might be gravely ill?

“Jesus,” he said. “What the fuck are we doing?”

His eyes had adjusted to the dark. Sydney was pulling on her boots. “Making love, I think.”

“Sydney, our son is in the hospital. We have no right to be acting so foolishly. What were we thinking?”

She sighed. “I was thinking I wanted to be in your arms. Is that so wrong?”

“When our son is lying in a hospital bed and when we have many issues to work out between us—some of which I don’t think can ever be worked out—yes, it’s wrong. It’s selfish and wrong.”

“I didn’t see you stopping me.”

He sighed. She was right, of course. He should have kept his head—the one
above
his shoulders. “Well, I’m stopping you now.”

“Now? What good does that do? What’s done is done. You got your rocks off just like I did. Admit it, you wanted it as much as I did.”

Of course he did. But damned if he’d admit anything to her.

He pulled his pants up and buckled his belt. “We’d better hit the restroom before we go back to the ER. To make sure we look okay.”

“I already look like shit. I’ve been crying and worrying for the last several hours. My parents will understand that.”

She was right again. “Fine. Let’s just get back there. Now.”

They walked back in silence and sat down in the waiting area of the ER.

Within five minutes, Roy came out to find them.

“You two come on back now,” he said. “The doc’s on his way with the results.”