Trusting Bull: Savage Brothers MC (41 page)

“I don’t even know what this is and I really don’t know why you care. You don’t even like me, Jacob.”

“This is the only time my brain finds any peace. I need you, Care Bear.”

“I’m just so tired.”

“It’s not an excuse, but Dragon brought shit up and I’m just…I need time, Carrie. I need time,” Jacob says rolling over on his back looking up at the ceiling. His voice is a mixture of pain and frustration.

“It’s fine. Move back in at the club while you figure things out.”

“No. I can’t stand being at the club it feels like the walls are closing in on me there.”

“Okay. Then I’ll move out in the morning,” I say as my heart breaks inside. I have come to view this house as home. It is stupid to get attached to it, but it seems I only do stupid stuff these days.

Jacob pulls me until I’m lying on my back beside him. He rolls to his side and lets his callused fingers dance gently over my shoulder and along the curve of my collarbone.

“I don’t want you to leave Care, I want you to stay with me.”

“Jacob…”

“Shh…baby. I was stupid. I took my anger out on you, but I didn’t truly mean it.”

“I can’t keep living like this Jacob, I love you, but I’m not your punching bag either.”

“Princess, I’d never hit you.”

“Words can hurt worse sometimes.”

“I’ll try and do better, I…I’m asking you not to leave, Carrie. I’m asking you for another chance.”

I deep breathe. It’s a hard choice, this is different. This is new. Jacob is asking me to stay with him. Jacob is trying to reach out. Is this a sign that he is healing? Am I being a fool and seeing things that aren’t really there? The questions go over in my head and I can’t concentrate though because Jacob is kissing the path his fingers made. They are light kisses, not really sexual, but they feel…important. They make me feel important. My eyes begin to close as I decide to give myself over to him. I may be all over the place right now, but I know, in this moment, I need Jacob. I need this connection with him. I need him.

Dancer

I
let her
sleep for a couple of hours, just listening to her breathe. I’m thankful. She’s giving me another chance. I’m not a fool, well about this at least. I know that Carrie not pushing me away is significant. It is huge. I make a vow to try and show Carrie how truly special she is to me. She is. I made a decision to go there with her and I don’t want to let her go. This shit with Dragon has messed with my head. I’m all kinds of fucked up. Yet, with Carrie here in my arms the only thing that feels out of control is the beat of my heart. I need a taste of her again. She has a way of making me forget the rest of the world exists and I need that right now. I need her. It’s selfish, but I really do.

I place light kisses along her collar bone that I’ve already traced with my fingers. The taste of her skin sinks inside of me and spreads through my bloodstream. She’s like a fever in my system. My teeth graze at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. I bite gently flicking my tongue over the spot a few seconds later.

“Jacob,” she moans and her voice further bridges over the holes in my soul that Dragon uncovered.

I kiss along the side of her face. Just small, slow presses of my lips along her hairline until I make it to her ear.

“God Carrie, you’re an addiction, baby.”

My hand slides under the waist band of her pajamas. The silk of her underwear slides against my fingers teasing me with the pleasure lying underneath. Her hips are rocking slowly, her legs moving restlessly.

“What do you want, baby?” I groan into her ear.

“You…always you,” she whispers and again it feels less raw inside. Just by her words, or maybe the fact that I know she means them. She craves me as much as I crave her.

I yank her underwear and pajamas roughly down those fucking sexy, long legs of hers. I figure I might have scared her, but instead she is busy pulling her shirt off. Something about seeing this woman as desperate for me as I am for her soothes the beast inside of me.

“Look at you, Care Bear. God I wish you could see what I see right now. So fucking beautiful and sweet you make my teeth ache. This is going to be fast baby, I’m sorry, but I have to have you. I need to be inside of you.”

“Yes, Jacob. Please,” she whispers her voice dark, husky and full of need.

I slide my fingers into her depths and I fucking sigh in relief when I find her ready, which is good, because I’m shaking. I don’t have the patience to get her there on my own. I am also a motherfucking genius for getting in bed without clothes, because if they had been in my way, I would have shredded them. I bend her legs at the knee and pull them apart, so she is completely open to me—so damned beautiful. I move my cock back and forth against her opening, making sure I tease her swollen clit.

“Carrie baby, look at me.”

Slowly those gorgeous emerald green eyes open, looking drugged and breathtaking. Plump, juicy red lips fall open in a gasp. I can see a faint glimpse of that perfect tongue. It calls to me.

“Give it to me baby, let me hear you say it.”

She searches my face, the room is quiet except for our harsh breathing.

“I love you, Jacob.”

My heart stalls, before picking up speed. I wanted to hear Carrie ask for my cock. That’s what I was asking for—not this. Never this. These words… these words fill me with fear. Holy hell. At the same time, a feeling of power surges in me. I’ll try to figure it out later, right now I have to have her, I need her.

I plunge inside her depths, without further warning. She’s so damned tight. I try not to go to deep, but her hips thrust up and I sink all the way in. I stop moving, afraid I’ve hurt her. I look down at her face for signs of distress. Instead, I find something out of a dream. Her face is thrown back in pleasure and I could drown in the inky depths of her eyes.

“Wrap your legs around me, Care Bear. Wrap them tight.”

She nods her head and does as I ask. I didn’t it was possible, but I manage to go deeper. So deep, I’m bottomed out completely inside of her. Never has anything felt this perfect, this right. I know she feels it too, because she moans in reaction.

She has kept her hands wrapped up in the sheet on the bed till this point. I grieve silently. I would love to have her touch on me, but I’m glad she seems to have accepted my rules. I can’t take the risk of flashbacks, especially with the memories so close to the surface right now.

I resent the fact I continue to think of this shit, when I am inside my own personal heaven. I hate that these thoughts intrude on the one clean and beautiful thing I’ve had in my life. I settle over her, bracing myself on one arm, the other tangling in her hair and pulling her lips the small distance to mine.

“Say it,” I order against her lips. I don’t know why, but I need to hear it again.

“I love you, Jacob,” she complies as one of her hands touches the side of my face.

I bite down the order for her to keep her hands down. I can handle this. I can. She loves me, this is different. As long as her touch stays on my face, I’ll manage, I just need this. I need this moment. My tongue slides into her mouth and I drink in her words, I drink them down deep.

I can feel my balls tighten with my approaching climax, way too soon. I let go of the hold I have on her hair and tease her clit so she can go with me. It doesn’t take long and I’m thankful. My mouth captures her release. She convulses on my cock, pulling me over the edge with her. I come so hard, I feel light headed.

I grab her ass and pull her tight against me as I fall over on my back. I keep my cock buried deep inside of her, while letting her rest on top of me. When she goes to move off of me, I refuse to let her. She settles against me and places a kiss on the side of my neck. I let my fingers slide along the smooth, soft, skin of her back. She holds me close and her hands feel good. I close my eyes and breathe her in. For the space of this minute, I let myself pretend I am different. That the feel of someone else’s hands on me is normal and I can enjoy it without fear of the darkness.

“I need to get off,” Carrie breathes against my skin her voice sounding exhausted.

“I thought you just did.”

I feel her lips spread in a smile against my neck and I like it. I give her too much pain. I like giving her a smile. I want to give her more.

“Get off of you so we can sleep.”

“Shh…rest Care Bear, I like you right where you are.”

It scares me to admit this, but I give it to her. I give it and ignore the fear.

“I like it too. Goodnight, Jacob. I love you”

“Goodnight, Care.” I want to say it back to her. I want to tell her I love her. This time the fear wins and I stay silent.

It takes a few minutes before her breathing evens out. I wish with everything in me that I could join her. I don’t. I can’t take that risk. I’m okay with staying awake and holding her though. This may be the single, best thing I’ve felt in my life, so I will savor it and pretend this is my normal. A new normal that I crave, but will never have.

Carrie

I
’m alone in
the bed. It’s kind of sad. Jacob woke me up once more in the night. I still didn’t get to touch him like I wanted, but it was amazing. I can’t deny it, I was scared of the morning light, because last night was the single most perfect night of my life. Well, at least after Jacob got in bed with me. I stretch, my body is sore and well used. The house is quiet, which is odd. Since I’ve made the move to Kentucky, I don’t think Dragon and his men have ever left me alone. I shrug it off. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.

I sigh and get up. I’m hungry, so I’m going to have to get my butt moving. I take a quick shower, braiding my wet hair when I get out. It’s easier than worrying about blow-drying and fixing it. I don’t bother with makeup, because food seems more important right now. I’m starved.

I walk into the living room, expecting to see Jacob asleep on the couch or something, but the room is empty. I try not to let fear grab me. It’s silly. Before my parents died I never worried. Living like I have, has made me see shadows where there are none. I go into the kitchen. It’s a little after eleven, but surely that’s not too late for breakfast. I’ll make extra in case Alexander is still here, and him and Jacob are both hungry.

I scramble some eggs, fry bacon and make toast and still…nothing. I figured the smell of food would get their attention. I go outside and look around and there’s no one there. The Tahoe is missing too. I look around one last time and go back inside. I’m a little disappointed that Jacob didn’t tell me he was leaving, but I suck it up. He gave me more than I was expecting last night. I have to go with that.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” I laugh at myself, opening the door to go back into the kitchen.

“Do you always talk to yourself?” I jerk, looking towards the voice. Sitting at the table is a slightly over-weight man with dull, brown hair that has gray weaved throughout. He’s sitting calmly at the table, facing the door. He’s eating out of the plate I had put down for Jacob, like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

I hold onto the door and try to still the beating of my heart. I don’t know who he is, but the mere fact that he has shown up the way he has is not a good thing. I look at him and then towards the front door, wondering if I should take off running.

“I wouldn’t try that. You can’t see it, but there’s a gun in my lap and I’ll shoot you before you make it outside and besides my man would stop you as soon as you crossed the threshold.”

I turn at his words and notice the big, ugly man staring at me, with this leering look that immediately makes my stomach revolt. I fight to keep the bile from rising. The guy comes in and locks the door behind him.

Yeah okay. Now what?

“Come on in Sugar, let’s have some of this breakfast you took the time to fix. I do love a woman who knows her way around the kitchen.”

I don’t want to, like I
really
don’t want to? Still, I don’t have a choice.

I swallow trying to figure out what to do here, Jacob will be back, I just have to bide my time. Plus, Bull once told me that this whole house was monitored heavily. The cavalry will come, I just need to stall. Heck fire, I have rotten luck.

I take a few steps to the kitchen, but I don’t go all the way. That’s when he holds up the gun and uses it to motion me into a seat across from him.

I sit down, by that time I have to—my legs feel like jelly.

“Bacon?” He asks, still using the gun to motion. I grab a piece, because I don’t know how he’d react if I turn him down.

He stares at me, waiting. I take a bite of the bacon. It tastes like sawdust, but that seems to make him happy, because he places the gun back on the table beside him.

“Tell me Carolina, do you know who I am?”

“No,” I have a good idea, but I don’t say it. The fact is that he uses a name that I haven’t heard since I was old enough to demand no one use it, doesn’t exactly fill me with happiness. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know this is the man who killed my parents. I know it. He knows I know, but saying no seems like the best option right now.

“Carolina, I’m so disappointed. I thought you were smarter than that,” he says calmly taking another bite of food.

“Boss, we don’t have time for this shit. You promised you’d pay me as soon as you got your hands on this bitch. We need to get out of here before those damn bikers show up. I didn’t agree to this damn shit, to get my ass killed,” the thug still standing by the door states. He looks antsy. He keeps looking out the window by the door and everything about him screams fear. While this is good, I figure it could also be bad. Having someone with a gun, who is operating on fear and adrenaline, doesn’t sound like a good thing.

“Did you make sure we won’t be disturbed?”

“I put the idiot out of commission. He never knew what hit him.”

“Excellent. “Now my dear,” he says putting his fork down. “Let’s try this again. Do you know who I am?”

“Not really, no,” I answer, worried they’ve hurt Jacob. Where is the damn cavalry? As for the asshole in front of me, up until this point he has only ever been a shadow to me. I’ve never seen a face. I’ve heard Dragon and Alexander refer to him before, but right now I must be too far into panic mode, because I can’t even remember the name.