Trouble Has a New Name (9 page)

Milee wiggled her shapely eyebrows. ‘OK, seeing as you’re being so reasonable about it…but how do you really feel about Neel?’

Luckily for Rayna, Milee’s
maasi
knocked at the door and effectively put an end to the inquisition.

As she forked a piece of papaya into her mouth, Milee’s question played on her mind. Truthfully, she had been attracted to Neel from the moment she had clapped eyes on him. Though at first he’d come across as arrogant and aloof, she had been charmed by the way he opened up to her. He could even laugh at himself—a quality that added another layer of desirability to all that hunky gorgeousness. Then, of course, the mind-blowing sex had come into play. Just thinking about it made her body heat go up a notch.

There was only one problem: Would she be able to keep her relationship with Neel on strictly ‘holiday fling’ mode and leave her emotions out of it? She was a few heartbeats away from falling madly in love with him. If she knew what was good for her she should stay far away from him. Instead, she was getting as close as possible to him, both in public and private!

New RBIL—#7—coming up: Emotional detachment and physical intimacy—the two don’t mix.

‘These
aloo parathas
are delicious. You should try some.’ Agra Aunty settled down next to her.

Rayna gave her a distracted smile. ‘They look wonderful but they are not for me.’

Agra Aunty licked her chubby ringed fingers, smacked her lips loudly and gave her a sharp look. ‘Hmm… More like Neel is the man for you, no? What is his background? Who are his parents? You young people think all these issues are old-fashioned and therefore dispensable. The only thing you know is ‘love.’ But this
love-shove
goes poof after marriage. Marriage is not a
gudda-guddi ka khel
, you know. That’s the reason why so many couples end up in the divorce courts sooner rather than later. In our day, when we got married we stayed married for ever.’

Amazingly enough, Rayna found herself agreeing with her old tormentor. She needed to steer clear of engagements, fake or real. Unfortunately for her, she no longer had a choice. For now, she had to stick to the ‘official’ story and make it sound as convincing as possible: Neel and she were engaged to be married. Ignoring the shiver of apprehension that went up her spine, she smiled brightly. ‘You’re right, Aunty, marriage is not child’s play. But who I marry—or don’t—is a very personal issue.’

Agra Aunty’s eyes narrowed shrewdly as she continued to chomp away on the
parathas.
‘Fine, you don’t consider me to be your relative. While that hurts, I can’t do anything about it. But what about Robi and Sudha? Don’t you think you should tell them you are engaged? Your brother has raised you like his own child and you know how much he has sacrificed for you… Or have
you become so “independent” that you don’t give a damn about their feelings?’

She was doing it again—guilt-tripping her!
Rayna struggled to stay calm.

‘Mind if I join you?’ Neel’s grey eyes were smiling at her. She wished he would just go away—he was far too dangerous for her peace of mind!

‘Hello,
beta
…come, come join us.’ Agra Aunty beamed at him.

‘I couldn’t help overhearing what you were saying,’ he said. ‘I think you may have misunderstood us. We’re not trying to keep our engagement secret from Rayna’s family.’

The old lady gave him a supercilious smirk. ‘Good to know that,
beta.
But then—’

Neel’s fingers squeezed Rayna’s—and she took it as a warning not to react to Agra Aunty’s offensive.

‘If you would just let me finish, please,’ he interrupted her firmly and Rayna was thrilled to see that Neel’s authority had an instant effect. ‘We will definitely call them and let them know our plans. But we will do it when the time is right—whenever Rayna is ready. I’m sure you understand it’s a big decision for us both.’

Agra Aunty looked frustrated then resigned. ‘Oh, well, I guess I have to be happy with that.’

Instead of feeling delighted that Neel had put her in her place, Rayna’s insides clenched at the inadvertent web of lies they were spinning.

Neel smoothly changed the topic of conversation. ‘I hope you’re enjoying your stay at our resort. If you need anything, please let me know.’

Agra Aunty’s entire demeanour changed magically.
‘Oh, the arrangements are
ekdum
top-class…though the bed in my room is too soft for my old bones. Never mind—it’s just a matter of a few days. I don’t want to cause any difficulty—’

‘No problem. I will take care of it right away.’

He fished out his mobile and instructed Shiva to have a coir mattress sent up to the old lady’s room and also to gift her with a complimentary spa package during the duration of her stay. A delighted Agra Aunty was only too eager to check out the spa and waddled away after quickly finishing her breakfast.

A few minutes later Neel and Rayna were ready for the day’s shoot. She had to grant it to Neel—he had figured out Agra Aunty in a snap. His spa offer was a brilliant move and would prevent her from going around gossiping with the rest of the gang. But, far from celebrating, Rayna was obsessed with only one question: How would this whole fake engagement business end? Certainly not without tears shed, she could tell. She’d got herself into such a mess!

Neel was quick to sense her mood. ‘Is something wrong? You haven’t said a word.’

She shook her head and gave a weak smile. ‘It’s just that Agra Aunty gets me all wound up.’

‘You and she have had a few battles,’ he observed.

‘You can say that again. You don’t know how sneaky she can be.’

‘Speaking from experience, it’s best to ignore people like her if you can.’

She grabbed the opportunity to shift the focus from herself. ‘So you too have had your share of family battles, huh?’

‘Yes, I have lost many and have some scars to show for them.’

Neel’s eyes had turned a shade darker and the way his mouth had set in a firm line was enough indication that this particular topic was not open for discussion.

As they headed towards the jetty, Rayna noticed a motley crowd of local people, including some fishermen, going about their daily routine. A few fishing boats and motor launches were anchored at the waterfront.

Julie waved them over as soon as she spotted them. The crew was busy loading their equipment onto a small motorboat. ‘Neel, I think it might be a good idea to cruise around the lagoons and shoot some of the coral reefs.’

Neel nodded. ‘Shiva has loaded up all the snorkel-ling equipment and we’re ready to go.’

Rayna glanced at the motor launch and cold sweat trickled down her spine. Her hands turned clammy as she beat down the nausea. She tried to attract Neel’s attention—he was walking towards the anchored boats with Julie, deep in discussion—but the words stuck in her throat. Her head throbbed as the panic rose in waves. She took a calming breath and desperately tried to focus on something, anything—but everything was a blur.
Oh, God!

N
EEL AND
J
ULIE
had almost reached the jetty when he noticed Rayna was not with them. She stood at the same spot—her body taut and tense. He moved swiftly to reach her. Her eyes were glazed. Beads of sweat dotted her upper lip and forehead. He touched her lightly on the arm and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

‘Rayna, what’s wrong? Are you OK?’ His voice was full of concern.

‘A-a-are we going in that?’ she stuttered.

‘Yes, it’s a five-minute ride in the launch and we’ll be at the coral reefs.’ Her forehead was cold and clammy to his touch. ‘You don’t look too well.’

She seemed stressed out but he couldn’t figure out what had happened all of a sudden. He took her palm in his hands—it was stone-cold. ‘Rayna, I’ll take you back to the resort. Just let me inform Julie and the crew—’

Neel squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and guided her to a shaded area under a clump of coconut palms. ‘Sit here. I’ll be back in a moment.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ she whispered to herself. Neel was already on the phone. His tone was urgent but his words didn’t make any sense to her. She sank down into the soft sand and rubbed her forehead with shaking fingers.
She hadn’t had one of these panic attacks in a long time. Biting back the nausea that threatened to spill over, she closed her eyes. The darkness squeezed in on her, making her nerves scream with tension. She was hyperventilating.

Neel snapped the phone shut and was next to her in a jiffy. She clutched at him like a drowning woman at a lifeline. ‘Breathe,’ she heard him say and something about his calm tone made her body obey his command. ‘That’s it… Inhale… Exhale… Easy does it. That’s right.’

His fingers rubbed the back of her neck and the tension in her shoulders eased somewhat. As her breathing came back to normal, he reached under the thick waves of her hair and massaged her scalp in soothing circular motions. Finally, the throbbing in her head began to recede. She leaned against him in relief, her back fitting snugly into his warm, broad chest, his chin resting lightly on her head. She didn’t know how long she sat there in his embrace. She felt safe with him and she could stay there for ever.

‘My parents died in a boating accident when they were on a pilgrimage to Uttarkashi.’ Her quiet voice belied the pain in her heart. A teardrop pooled at the corner of her eye as the warmth of Neel’s fingers thawed the chill in her heart. She’d never talked about her parents’ death to anyone—not even Milee. But, for some strange reason, she wanted to bare her soul to Neel.

‘I was twelve years old and I was staying with Robi Da till my parents returned. They had been away for almost a month and I couldn’t wait for them to get back. Robi Da and I reached the station but when the train arrived, more than an hour late, they were not on it.
For the next three days, we visited the station a dozen times, contacted the hotel where they were booked but nobody could tell us anything. It was as if they had disappeared into thin air. Finally, Robi Da tracked down the company that ran these boat services up and down the river. The boat in which they were travelling was caught in a freak flash flood. It was swept away by the fast-moving currents.’

He held her close and his warmth seeped into the deepest recesses of her soul. Neel’s gentleness pulled down the last of the barriers and her grief came pouring out in a torrent of tears. ‘Just let it all out, sweetheart.’

As the sobs finally receded, she looked up at him. Embarrassed at her meltdown, she rubbed at the large wet patch on his shirt. ‘Sorry…I ruined your shirt.’

‘No worries—I’ll send you the laundry bill.’ His feeble joke brought a half-smile to her lips and he caught it with his mouth in a light feather-soft kiss.

Neel’s heart ached for the girl whose world had come crashing down so brutally. And, from the looks of it, she might have buried the trauma but it still had the power to break through and torment her. He wanted to comfort her and take the sadness away from those honey-brown eyes, replace it with the sparkle that shined through every time she laughed. Right now, those beautiful eyes were lost in the memories of the past.

‘It was as if I was in a limbo,’ she reminisced. ‘I must have scared the hell out of Robi Da. One day he insisted on taking me to a restaurant. But as soon as I stepped into the elevator I blacked out. That was the first time I had a panic attack. Initially, it was pretty bad…anything and everything would trigger off an attack. Over the years, it has eased somewhat. In fact, I
haven’t had one in almost a year. Maybe it was the sight of the motorboat…’

‘Did you ever consult a doctor about it?’

She shook her head. ‘No. Besides, it’s not as if I’m claustrophobic. I get into elevators, go to crowded places and nothing happens. Then suddenly something totally random triggers it off. It’s why I didn’t travel in the helicopter on the way here.’

‘You haven’t told anyone about these recurring attacks?’

‘There was no point really. Robi Da had a lot to cope with after our parents’ death. I didn’t want to add to his worries. We were never really close to begin with as he was a lot older than me and had already moved out by the time I was ten. After they passed away, he was saddled with me.’

It couldn’t have been easy for Robi Da. When he married Sudha Bhabhi she’d made it pretty obvious she didn’t relish the thought of looking after a young sister-in-law.

‘So you coped with your fears on your own?’

‘I learnt to look out for the warning signs and would sit it out till it passed over. For a while I did think it was claustrophobia. So I avoided taking trains.’ She gave a weak laugh. ‘As a result, I ended up spending a bomb on taxis and my college friends thought I was a horrible snob. But it also had its upside.’

His eyebrows shot up. ‘Really? What’s that?’

‘It helped me avoid the terrible treadmill at the gym.’ She gave a weak laugh. ‘I would much rather take the stairs, even if I have to climb twenty floors. Better than using that awful machine, don’t you think?’

‘You’re one spunky woman.’ He planted a light kiss on her forehead.

She was sure her heart swelled a few millimetres at the admiration in his voice.

‘I read somewhere when you feel a panic attack coming on you can avert it by devising a little game,’ he said.

She was curious. ‘What kind of game?’

‘Focus on a happy memory. Concentrate on any moment that has a special place in your heart. Bring up the sounds, sights, smells associated with it. Or you can carry something in your purse. Something with a good memory attached to it.’

‘Yeah, that makes sense.’ The sparkle was slowly returning to her eyes.

‘It takes your mind away from your fears, anchors you to a happy thought or moment and helps you tide over the situation.’

‘Sometimes I do it instinctively.’ She fished a seashell ring from her handbag and put it in his hand. ‘When I’m feeling low or I just need to boost my confidence before an important shoot, I wear this ring…’

He turned it around. ‘A seashell ring?’

‘I made it for my mother when I was nine. She loved it—would show off to all her friends. Whenever I wear it I feel safe, as if she is with me, looking over me.’

He touched the smooth curves of the cluster of tiny multicoloured shells and wondered at the love and patience of the nine-year-old girl who had crafted it. A tribute that lived long after her mother had gone…grounding her during her emotional lows, comforting her when she was lonely and lost.

‘Your touchstone,’ he said gravely.

On a sudden impulse, he took her left hand and
slipped the ring on her finger. The moment became charged with something indefinable. He didn’t know what had come over him—why he had done it—but only knew that he had felt compelled. He was at a loss for words as she looked up at him questioningly. He dragged his eyes away from hers, trying to bring back a semblance of normality to the super-charged moment. He wished he hadn’t been so impulsive.

Getting up, he dusted his palms against the seat of his trousers before he held out his hand to her. ‘I think we should go back to the villa. You need to rest for a while.’

It was the most exquisite ring she had ever seen. A large pinkish rock set in the centre of a platinum band amid a cluster of precious stones of different hues. It reminded her of the changing colours of a beautiful sunset. She looked up and saw the brilliance in Neel’s eyes—more priceless than any ring. The music swelled in the background and she saw happy faces all around—cheering, showering them with rose petals. Milee. Agra Aunty. Robi Da. Mom was gorgeous in a red-and-white saree and Dad beamed happily, his arm around Mom. But she had eyes only for Neel, who was whispering softly in her ear, ‘You’re my touchstone.’

Rayna woke up with a start, her heart beating wildly, her ears still ringing. The vivid images of the dream clung to her consciousness like wispy smoke curling from incense sticks. She sat up in bed and pushed her hands through her thick hair.
What was all that about?
She had been feeling out of sorts following the episode at the jetty and decided to take a nap. But all she’d been able to think of was Neel before she fell into a troubled sleep. She had bared her soul to him and when he had
slipped the ring on her finger it had felt so right! It was as if their fake engagement had suddenly turned a wee bit real.
No! She was the one who needed to get real!
His awkwardness afterwards made it amply clear he’d regretted his move and he couldn’t wait to rush back to the villa.

She tumbled out of the bed and rushed to the bathroom. She needed to get ready for the
sangeet
celebrations or Milee would be the one suffering a panic attack!

Soon she had changed into a pale pink and white
lehnga-choli
ensemble with delicate
zardozi
embroidery-work on it. She wore a silver anklet on one foot to add a quirky touch before slipping on bangles and a chunky choker around her neck. She looked at her now bare ring finger and the image of the dream ring flashed in her mind—it would have been perfect with this outfit. Maybe she should design a ring like that. But for now she had a huge problem—for a woman who was supposed to be newly engaged, her ringless finger would definitely draw unwanted attention.

She rummaged through her jewellery box. She had several in there—some silver, some cocktail rings she had designed herself—but none would pass off as an engagement ring. She should have thought of it earlier, she castigated herself, and borrowed something appropriate from Milee. Now, it was too late—Milee would be at the Jade Room, where the ceremonies were to take place.

The knock on the door distracted her. Milee had probably sent someone to fetch her. She called out, ‘Come in.’ A frisson of awareness ran through her even before Neel strode in. No one else could make her insides crackle with electricity the way he did.

His eyes glided over her, savouring the perfect picture
she presented. The backless
choli
showed off her smooth soft skin. The low-riding
lehnga
fitted her curvy hips snugly before falling into soft silky pink folds around her legs, and her feet were encased in silver-coloured heels. She turned to face him, her large eyes luminous beneath her thick lashes. Her rosebud lips, painted a seductive red, made him want to crush her in his arms and kiss her senseless. Her fingers fluttered to her ears as she put on a pair of ruby-studded danglers that looked a little too heavy for her delicate earlobes.

‘Good to go?’ he asked, when all he wanted to do was push her back onto the bed and make love to her all night long.

She nodded and the earrings grazed her neck softly. ‘I wish I had a—’ She stopped herself from finishing the thought. ‘Never mind. Let’s go.’

But he didn’t move a muscle. He stood there, looking like a suave Rajput prince in a traditional cream-coloured
kurta-churidar
and a night-blue Kashmiri jacket. He held a small velvet box in his hand. ‘I think I have just what you’re looking for.’

Her heart hitched. Her eyes widened in shock as he took out a beautiful diamond ring from the box.

‘It goes well with your dress and is also perfect for our…situation.’

Despite her wishing she had one, with him suddenly standing in front of her bearing a beautiful ring, this was getting a bit too real for their
fake engagement
! The air was thick with anticipation. For what? she wondered. He did not want a real long-term relationship and he’d made that quite clear. So where was the need for this? As for herself…she didn’t even want to think about it.
Sid might be history but she wasn’t ready for anything more serious than a fling.
Or was she?

‘Wow,’ she said, trying to rein in her scrambled thoughts. ‘You actually go around with a diamond ring in your pocket?’

‘I’m surprised you missed the exclusive Cartier showroom in our resort. In case you don’t like it, you can exchange it—’

‘Have you gone out of your mind?’ she shrieked. ‘Cartier? It must have cost a bomb!’

He simply shrugged. ‘The price tag doesn’t matter. What does is that it’s just right—’

‘For our situation,’ she cut in sharply. ‘You already mentioned that!’

‘Do you have a better idea?’ He glanced at her jewellery box that lay open on the bed—its contents spilling out as if someone had been looking for a pin in a haystack.

She swallowed hard—trust him not to miss a thing. But she could not
—would not
—accept such an expensive gift!

He held out the ring. ‘So, will you put it on or should I?’

She grabbed the ring—her fingers tingling as they touched his. ‘I’ll wear it on one condition.’

‘Of course…there always are terms and conditions with you.’

She ignored his sarcasm. ‘You will take it back to the store as soon as we’re done here…with the wedding.’

‘It makes no difference to me. You may keep it—as a souvenir of our time together or give it to charity or whatever.’

‘I will return it to you.’ Her voice had a determined edge to it.

‘As you wish.’

The awkward silence that followed made Rayna a bit reckless. ‘It’s good to know I have a dependable genie who can make my every wish come true.’