Triple Infinity (25 page)

“The moment?”
Skye asked.

“I
n that moment, it overtook me. He was it. He was the one thing that I would die without, and he’d been there all along. I knew there was no one that would ever take better care of me than Triaten. No one ever had, or ever will. Everything changed for me in that one moment.”

“Changed how?”

Charlotte fidgeted. “How can I explain this…Everybody, everything lives in compartments in my mind. But in that moment, all the compartments I had always put Triaten in suddenly split and tore, and things in my mind started to bleed into each other. And that’s when it all went so wrong.”

Charlotte’s voice lowered. “W
hen I seduced him, I started it knowing exactly who I was kissing. What I was doing. But Triaten has never loved any woman. And then I got scared. And out of nowhere, I suddenly felt like I was betraying Thomas. So I closed my eyes to all of it, and my mind went very, very, bad. Everything leaked into everything else. Thomas was in it, Triaten was in it. It was bad. All this fear, all this guilt, pureed in my mind. And I messed up. I used Triaten. And then I tried to use him again the night of the flame moon — and he was right to stop it — but I was humiliated.”

“So that’s why you disappeared.
” Skye nodded, new understanding dawning. “I thought it odd you left so abruptly.”

“Yes,
I know I said it, but I am truly sorry I missed your wedding, by the way.  I should have stayed, but the ghosts I had to deal with were not waiting.”

“Wow.” Skye shook her head.
“That’s a lot. So where does this leave you two?”

“I don’t know. And it’s driving me nuts. It’s just...being this close to him, and not talking. Not touching. It’s killing me and I’m at a loss as to what is right or wrong. I’ve never been this conflicted. But every instinct is telling me to push it and fight for him.”

“Well, I can’t tell you what to do,” Skye looked over at her husband and Triaten, “or what is right in this situation — I sure don’t know. And I don’t want Shiv to feel an ounce of pain. But I do know that your instincts are rarely wrong. And to be honest, if Triaten was involved with anyone but my sister, I would be telling you to march over to Triaten and make him see — feel — how ready you are for him.”

Charlotte leaned in and grabbed Skye’s forearm. Her voice was laced with desperation. “Skye, I am so
scared. He humiliated me once. I’m afraid of what I’ll do — what he’ll do. I can’t go through the humiliation again. I can’t. If I put myself out there for him and he rejects me...”

Skye rubbed the back of Charlotte’s hand. “But you two also can’t stay like this. Opposite ends of the room. No matter what happens, you have Aiden, you have me, and you’ll always have Triaten, maybe just not the way you want.”

Across the room, the conversation was much more direct.

Aiden took a swipe of the beer he had motioned for the bartender to bring. Lukewarm, but serviceable. He had a cue stick in his hand, at least giving parody to the pool Triaten pretended to shoot. “So what’s your plan, Tri?”

“With Horace?”

“No. Your father may be why we’re here, but I could, frankly, care less about him. I’m talking about Charlotte.”

An eyebrow cocked and Triaten glared at Aiden. “Not your business.”

“I’ve heard that several times on this matter, and I’m beginning to believe it. But here I am, nonetheless.” Aiden leaned against the pool table. “Here’s what’s clear. You’re miserable. Charlotte’s miserable. Whatever happened between you two on the way here needs to be resolved. And better to do it before you face your father.”

“There’s not a quick fix for it, Aiden.”

“There, I think you’re wrong. What you want is two women. What you need is Charlotte. And you’re denying that need by throwing Shiv in front of it. That’s not fair to Shiv or Charlotte.”

“And what makes you so convinced I need Charlotte?”

Aiden shrugged. “Charlotte is your constant. She has been since we were five. She makes you laugh like no other. She heals you. She calms you. After everywhere you’ve been in the world, she’s always your home. She not only knows who you are, but what you’re capable of. And she understands you like only a Panthenite could. Do you need more reasons? Because I can keep going.”

Triaten didn’t look up
from the stationary ball he stared at. “Charlotte has had the love of her life. There’s no competing with that.”

“I must say, your
lack of arrogance on this is astounding, and a refreshing change from your usual character. But let’s explore ‘love of her life.’ That’s a ridiculous cliché. Especially for a Panthenite to utter. How many lives have we already lived over the past one-hundred years? We have centuries, millenniums to go.” Aiden set his beer down and lined up a shot in front of Triaten. A swift crack, and balls went splaying.

He stood up, analyzing Triaten. “And competing?
That’s easy. A dead man can’t compete. Plus, you know the capacity Charlotte has in her heart.”

The sound of
splintering wood came from Triaten’s cue-stick holding hand. “I won’t have her closing her eyes, imagining I’m Thomas.”

He set the broken stick gently onto the table. Crossing his arms across his chest, he glared at Aiden.

Aiden took the glare in stride. “Well then, it’s simple. You just need to make sure she has no room in her mind, or her heart, for anyone but you. That, I have no doubt, you can make happen. It’s time you got your arrogance back, Triaten.”

Aiden’s eyes met Charlotte’s as she was coming across the lounge. He gave her a short nod, and removed himself from the table.

Charlotte approached Triaten from behind. She saw him break the cue stick, but disregarded it. It wasn’t the first one she’d seen him snap through the years. God, she hoped Skye was right about her instincts. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do if he shut her down again.

Heart in throat, Charlotte reached out and placed her hand as lightly as she could on Triaten’s shoulder. She could see he was glaring at Aiden
’s retreating form, and his muscles under her fingertips were so rigid, so tight, she thought they might explode at her touch.

She went to her toes and put her chin on the back of her hand, her lips moving close to Triaten’s ear. “Dance with me,” she whispered.

Triaten’s head shifted slightly to her, not looking at her, but definitely aware of her presence and her request. Several agonizing bars of jazz music passed, as his jaw flexed, and Charlotte held her breath.

No reaction from Triaten. So that was that.

Stunned, Charlotte took a step backward. Just as her hand left his shoulder, Triaten reached up across his chest, grabbing her fingertips.

“Char...
stay.”

She froze. He didn’t turn to her, instead
, he lifted her hand over his head, to move their joint hands to waist level behind him.

He walked over to the dance floor in front of the empty stage, pulling Charlotte behind him. Then he stopped, and dropped
Charlotte’s hand. His chin down, he was still.

Beh
ind him, Charlotte could see in his profile — the profile that she knew better than her own — that his eyes were closed. She also knew this was exactly what he did when he was drawing strength. But for what?

It was that strength, both in body and
in mind, that made her burn. Ever since she had gotten her head straight, she couldn’t imagine his face, his body, without wanting him, skin on skin, his hard muscles molding her body. His mind invading hers. She wanted him in absolutely no way like the first time they were together. She wanted him right.

Charlotte fought the need to g
rab his jaw and turn him to her. Fought the need to find his lips and kiss away all the doubt in his body. To kiss away her own doubt.

The slow beat of the music kept the tempo of her needs in check, so instead, she
crawled her left hand onto Triaten’s left shoulder. His muscles tensed under her fingers, and Charlotte stepped in, the front of her body brushing the back of his. She paused, inhaling the sweet, woodsy smell of him through his dark shirt.

Gently, she
moved to the right, her hand lingering along his neck, fingers trailing in the wisps of his dark hair, and then onto his other shoulder as she rounded his wide frame. She curled in front of him, watching his closed eyes flicker, his throat swallow, and the deep breath he took when she stopped directly in front of him.

Triaten’s eyes remained
closed, arms still at his sides.

Charlotte’s left hand slipped down his
right arm, stopping only when she grabbed his wrist, and brought it around her waist. She stepped even tighter into his body. Her hand went back to Triaten’s shoulder, and then inward until her palm and fingers were wrapped solidly around the side of his neck.

With her right hand, she reached down, entwining her fingers into his, and she brought his arm up. Softly, with her hips, she began to sway.

The music didn’t waver, and silently, reluctantly, their bodies began to move in unison.

When Triaten’s eyes finally opened up to her, Charlotte swallowed hard. She wasn’t prepared for the intensity she saw in his dark ey
es, the brown giving way to burning black flecks. Whatever happened, there would be no going back from this moment.

Unsure of her own voice
, she started, “Tri,” but the word wasn’t audible. She attempted to quiet the frantic beating of her heart.

The second time she tried, her words were soft, but audible. “Tri, I tell you now, my head is aligned with my heart. It is you I want. You I choose. You need to trust that.”

His eyes were riveted on hers, but he didn’t reply. Charlotte was at a loss. Then the hand on her waist slipped to the small of her back, bringing her hips tightly into him. A shiver ran up her spine. It was all the encouragement she needed.

“You said you wanted the old Charlotte back. I’m ready
— and I want to be that woman again.” Her fingers gripped the hair at the back of his head. “The time at refugee camp. The massacre. What they did to those babies and children. It all came back to me. What — why — we’ve been fighting all these years. It is who we are. What we were meant to do.”

“But this time,” she swallowed hard, “this time I need to be doing it by your side. There is no other place for me. No other home for me. And unless you tell me to go right now, I will fight for that spot by your side with every breath I take.”

Triaten’s feet came to a stop. His face was stony, hard, and Charlotte’s gut plummeted. She didn’t know what else she could say. She had no more words. She could promise no more.

Then his lips came down on her. He dropped her hand and sank his fingers into the thick of her hair, curving her head, pulling her mouth onto, into his, as he parted her lips. His mouth, his tongue
, searched her, looking for truth.

She recognized it immediately, and closed her eyes, surrendering
to the intensity, and the demands of Triaten’s kiss. What he needed to feel. Her free hand slipped behind him, moving along the ridges on his back, pulling deep into the muscles, trying to meld her body even closer to his. Her head leaned back, succumbing in body and mind to what Triaten was asking of her. She was willing to give him anything.

His breath plunged int
o hers, demanding answers. Charlotte
acquiesced
to his relentless examination, to his hand tilting her head so he could encompass her even deeper. She leaned into him, letting his chest, his hips, surround her. He pulled her ever tighter as his tongue plunged repeatedly, and every time Charlotte thought he would relent, he came in for more.

At the moment Charlotte thought she would pass out from the combined lack of oxygen and rush on her senses, Triaten pulled away, finally satisfied with his search of Charlotte’s soul.

His hand went to her cheek and she leaned into it. His voice was rough. “Char, before I touch you again, and hell, I’d move the moon right now to do it — we need to agree. From this moment on, the past, it’s gone. Whatever I’ve done. Whatever you’ve done. Not forgotten, but gone. We only look forward. It’s what I need from you.”

“And Shiv?”

Regret flashed on his face, but then disappeared as his dark eyes captivated Charlotte. “You’re the one, Char. You always have been.”

His head bowed
, the ferocity of his words weighing.

Slowly, his eyes came back up to her, searching. “Forward
, Char. It’s what I need.”

Charlotte
’s knees almost buckled as she looked into his eyes, captivated by the ferocity that fired deep in his dark eyes. Both of her hands went to his face, palms gripping the rough stubble along his jaw. “You have it. Only forward.”

The shudder of relief that ran through Triaten was visible as he closed his eyes. Charlotte watched emotions flicker across his face, and then with a deep breath, he opened his lashes to her.

“Then god, Charlotte, I am about to touch you.”

Triaten grabbed her hand
s from his face, and led her out of the now empty lounge — they would have to thank Skye and Aiden for that. A breathless smile broke wide on Charlotte’s face as she trailed him.