Trilemma (11 page)

Lights are now exploding all over the sky.

I regain control of myself. “Don't throw that back at me, Ben. Robert offered me the job after I got here. So. What did you call me for anyway? Do you want something?”

“No, I don't want anything! Just to set things straight with you.”

“Consider them set straight.”

The explosions continue to dance in front of my eyes, blurred now. It is too much. I switch off the phone and put the handset back on the table, blink my eyes clear, and watch the fireworks without seeing a thing.

When Robert asked me to help him set up a new company in the Channel Islands I was happy to agree. Ben had refused to join me, and it looked like I was on my way to another split. Was it because I wanted to get in first and avoid that loss of face that came with rejection that made me sleep with Robert?

Who am I fooling. It was just another of those stupid decisions you make without thinking, fueled by too much wine.

The fireworks finish with one last crescendo of sound and light. I sit staring down at the nightscape punctured by the scattered windows of the city buildings and the golden trails of streetlights, then I turn back to the documents lying on the table and force myself to scan each page, but my brain is not taking in the words.

Whenever I close my eyes, I can see Ben's face before he turned and walked away. I can't get that image out of my head.

It is hot tonight, humid and sticky. Not enough wind. I rub the back of my neck and write a note in the margin of the report.

I am the chief executive of Hera. I don't need a man to complete me.

When I open the door the property agent is there, carrying a bag of tools and a section of wrought iron railing. I had put off calling him week after week, and then he rang to ask if everything was to my satisfaction. No, I'd said, not at all.

“I'm about to leave for work.”

“No problem, I've got all the keys,” he says.

Nicholas struts in as if he owns the place and pauses in the middle of the room. “Coffee would be nice.”

“I'm out of milk.”

“I'll take a short black for a change.” He smirks. “Bit of variety is always nice.”

His eyes hold mine and it is me who looks away. I turn to the kitchen and make his coffee very short.

On the terrace, he is banging the new section of railing in place.

“Coffee.”

“Thanks!” He slurps the dark stuff down and smiles, his thin face creasing into lines and his eyes sinking into their sockets. His pupils are tiny.

“I've been wanting to congratulate you,” he says. “Big, important job, huh?”

“Yes,” I reply.

“I know Tom Heke well. He's a good man.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He was pretty pissed off when you got the job. He thought it was his, eh? Didn't think some sheila would pounce and take it from under his nose.”

“Really? I'm surprised he told you that.”

Nicholas's eyes flick sideways. “That's what I heard, anyway.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I used to be a boss, too, you know.” Nicholas's eyes stare through me, before focusing on my face again. “I ran a property development company. We were worth millions.”

I say nothing. Am I supposed to be impressed? I've met rich men before. Most of them are mean, like Robert.

“Yep,” he says. “I was rich then, and guess what, I'm going to be rich again. Those bastards will be sorry they cut me down.”

“Good for you.”

Nicholas shoots a glance at me. Then he sidles closer and puts his hand on my leg. “I could do something good for you too,” he says.

I flick his hand away. “Just fix the railing, Nicholas.”

“I was wondering if you'd like to have a meal at the local Thai,” he says. “And maybe take in a movie?”

“I'm not interested in going out with you.”

“I'd be happy to just spend the night again.”

“No, thank you.”

“A quick fuck?”

“Fuck off, Nicholas.”

“Come on, you know you liked it.”

“Which part of fuck off do you not understand? Just fix the fucking railing.”

His eyes narrow and his mouth tightens in anger. I grab my handbag and hurry down the stairs to the garage.

When I glance back at the house, I can see his silhouette etched against the sky, standing at the edge of the terrace, watching me as I leave. I have the measure of this man. A leech that preys upon others. Right now he is hunting high-earning women—like in days of old, when fortune-hunting cads would prey on heiresses.

I remember hazy images of that stupid drunken night,
fool,
fool!
Bile rises in my throat, and then I shake my head and push the memory away.

Deepak and I have been examining the figures and we are worried about Hera's business plan. Deepak doesn't think we have enough money on top of insufficient time to launch our services.

“Okay, we need to find a cheaper systems solution. Any ideas?”

Fred and Ian glance at Tom and say nothing.

“Fred,” I say to our IT manager. “Tell me what you really think we should be buying.”

Fred is one of the quiet ones who disappear into the woodwork if you don't watch them. He wears a bad suit and a diffident smile and nurses a sick wife at home. He came from Kiwicom, where they had passed him over for promotion because he was “too quiet” and their preferred leadership style was the confident egocentric type, the kind with a touch of the psychopath.

But I have learned that Fred is brave and smart and can be trusted to find innovative solutions to the toughest of problems. More fool Kiwicom; their loss, and very much our gain.

Right now Fred blinks rapidly.

“Fred,” I say, pointedly, “I want to hear your views.”

“I think we should get the best systems we can afford,” he says. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get it right.”

“I don't think we're going to be able to negotiate the prices down any farther with VNL,” says Tom.

Fred takes off his spectacles and wipes them.

“Fred?” I ask again.

“I think we can reduce the costs,” he finally says, without looking up. “We need customer order management, activation, usage collection, and the billing software. But we can buy just a couple of licenses for the network records software. And we don't need a network management system since we only have the one switch.”

I nod.

“We could save a lot of money by building a basic data warehouse instead of buying the big one.” Fred glances up. “We won't have anything much to analyze initially.”

“We'll get a better deal if we commit to all the packages,” Tom says.

“Possibly,” I say. “But we can't afford the whole suite.”

“VNL will charge more for each package if we don't.”

Fred looks up again and smiles. “That's where we can make the biggest savings.”

Later, I am alone in my office when Tom strides in, the warrior come to do battle.

“I'm not happy about Fred's ideas,” he says. “I think he's oversimplifying the situation.”

“He's clever,” I reply. “And he has a wealth of experience. We should trust him.”

I watch Tom's mouth turn down.

“I don't think you understand,” he says.

“I believe I do understand.”

“We can't afford to take any risks!” He paces around the room.

“We can't afford
not
to take some risks.”

His eyes meet mine and he holds my gaze. In silence, I stare back.

Tom's mouth slowly relaxes and his eyes crease. “Why don't you trust
me
?”

Now he's trying on the charm.

I hold my face quite still. “I do trust you.”

“I've called Scott in for an urgent meeting,” he says, his eyes fixed on mine. He stares at me. I watch the thoughts move behind his eyes; watch him wondering what he can do to convince me.

“Good, I'm looking forward to it.”

Later that day, I sack our consultants. Scott Peake stands before me, eyes glaring and lips snarling. For a moment he is silenced, unable to credit that I plan to survive without his high-priced advice.

“You can't be serious!” he barks.

Oh, can't I.
“I'm afraid we need to cut back on costs.”

“You won't find anyone better than us. We're the best this town has to offer when it comes to big projects.”

More fool this town.
“I'm sure you are.”

“And you won't find anyone good who is cheaper. You get what you pay for. Pay peanuts and you'll get monkeys!”

Pay millions and get expensive monkeys.
“We may not need the services of external consultants to manage our program at all.”

“That's ridiculous! Everyone knows that organizations can't do this kind of work themselves. You've got to get in the experts.”

We did and now we don't need you anymore.
“Thank you for all your assistance, Scott.”

“Tom won't stand for you losing us.”

“It's not Tom's decision. It's mine.”

He snarls. “You'll be very sorry you made this decision, Mere.”

I open the door and wait for him to leave.

Fifteen minutes later Tom arrives in my office. “Lin! What on earth? Scott says you've terminated their contract!”

“Their share of the program budget is over five million for providing services we either don't need or can get at a quarter of their hourly rates. And we've spent over a million on them already with nothing to show for it.”

“There was a huge amount of work analyzing our requirements and evaluating the options.”

“But what was the point when the solutions they suggest are so far out of our budget we can't even negotiate? I've already
told you I think their summary is a waste of time and money, Tom. And it's an area in which I am an expert. Are you questioning my judgment?”

The blood is pumping through my veins, but my face is calm, my Asian eyes still. Fire flares in Tom's eyes. After a few moments he looks down at his hands.

“You're the boss.”

“Yes, Tom, I am.”

When he has gone, I stand up and massage the back of my neck. I pace back and forth across the pale-gray carpet, before stopping by the window where the sea tosses beneath a turgid sky. No yachts today.

Fighting with Tom makes me feel edgy, unsettled. But my first duty has to be to Hera. I have to make the best decisions for us to meet that launch date with a viable business.

Of course there are risks. There are always risks.

I watched a documentary once that talked about corporations behaving like psychopaths, in that every decision made by corporations will always be in their own best interest, with no thought given to the public good.

I haven't found business leaders to be quite so universally self-seeking. Sure, some people always aim for spending the least amount of money and making the most profit, but many will also consider the interests of the wider community when they make their decisions. In the longer term, organizations do better when they have a stronger staff and better relationships with their customers and suppliers. Ripping people off is bad for business.