Authors: Ellen Hopkins
been married?” The question dropkicks me right back to Geoff. “Wait. You don’t happen to be currently married, do you?” 489/881
His look is more confused than amused.
Never been, so I’m not now. Why ask?
“Long story, involving the last guy I went out with having a secret wife.
Which is why he and I are not dating any longer, although he didn’t think being married to someone else should interfere with our relationship.”
Ah, and he never mentioned his spouse
before developing a liaison with you.
“Bingo. Or as they say Down Under,
aye, mate.” Like I’m suddenly an expert on all things Australian. S
ome blokes
are dingoes. Another mimosa?
“Absolutely.” Something to tease the egg and salsa out from between my teeth.
Tell me about your daughter.
How is it, being a single mom?
“Better than being married to her father, and that’s a fact.” I give him a short 490/881
rundown on Harley—a basic primer
on living with a thirteen-year-old girl.
Robin takes it in. Offers a wry grin.
And to think I’ve missed out on all that!
IT’S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME
Since I’ve gone out with a man
who even pretended this much
interest in me as a woman.
Me as a mother. Me as a sister.
Me as a human being. Robin listens
more than he talks about himself.
Asks all the right questions. Laughs at all the appropriate times. Gives compliments freely. He’s handsome,
in a down-home sort of way. Has
a career he loves, not just a job he puts up with, and he’s not afraid to spend a decent chunk of his hard-earned cash on a pricey Sunday brunch for two
at one of my all-time favorite places.
He’s in relatively good shape. Has
a really great smile. Most likely
isn’t married. And all that makes me wonder, one: what’s wrong with
him? And, two: if there’s nothing
at all wrong with him, why me?
THOSE QUESTIONS
Simmer at the back of my brain
while we finish our mimosas.
The bill comes, and he puts down
a card, then excuses himself to
use the restroom. I watch him go,
designer shorts and polo shirt
revealing lean muscles and tanned
skin. Not bad. In fact, very, very
nice. So what
is
wrong with him?
When he returns, he has a back-
pack slung over one shoulder.
He offers a hand.
You don’t have to
get back right away, do you? I thought
we might take a walk.
How could I refuse, either the walk or his hand?
It has also been quite a while
since I’ve strolled, holding hands
with a man. Any man, let alone
one like this. Now question two
starts nagging again: why me?
We head up the beach, along
the softly slapping water. “Hang
on a sec.” I slip off my sandals,
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let my bare feet squish into
lake-licked sand. “Much better.”
Great idea.
Robin follows suit.
Here, let me take those for you.
Both pairs of shoes disappear
into his pack and we continue
for quite a distance, leaving
Camp Rich and its bustle behind.
Eventually, we come to Pope Beach,
with its thick stands of evergreen
and shrub-curtained nooks of sand.
It is much quieter here. A few people picnic in scattered groups, but
when Robin draws me into a private
alcove, it feels like we’re all alone on the planet. From his backpack, almost like magic, he produces a terry cloth blanket, a bottle of champagne
and two glasses. “You’ve got to be
kidding! If I drink anymore, you’ll have to carry me back to your car.” He hands me the bottle—Perrier-Jouët—
which, unreasonably, feels cold.
No worries. We can always nap.
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He spreads the blanket, sits, and
reaches for the wine. It opens
with an inviting
pop!
Oh, why not?
PERRIER-JOUËT
Is like liquid diamonds—brilliant.
A tiny bit sharp. Cost, relative to taste.
Robin and I sit, just touching, beneath a cascade of light. I can smell sun on his skin, the scent distinctly masculine.
By the time we finish the wine, my heart rate has escalated, and when Robin
coaxes me to lie back, I think it might implode. He settles beside me, one hand stroking my thigh, the other fiddling with my hair.
I love that you keep it
long
, he says. I should stop this now with my usual no-first-date-kiss rule, except we’re already kissing, and it’s been so long, and I don’t want to stop. This kiss is spectacular. And maybe it’s the Perrier, or maybe Holly is rubbing off on me, but when his hand slides up under my dress, I don’t stop that, either. I look into his eyes, find desire more intense
than my own. Yet he asks,
Is it okay?
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I reach for his zipper. Mouth. Tongue.
Skin. Serious skin. Red champagne haze.
Over me. Under me. G-spot deep inside me.
THE G-SPOT
Arguably a woman’s favorite
trigger, yet few have any idea
what the
G
stands for.
Some say
it must be “gynecologist.”
Completely inaccurate,
although Ernst Grafenberg
happened to be one.
There’s
a clue. Still confused?
consider the first letter
of his name. Ah yes. The
G
.
Back in the forties, when
no
medical professional worth
his new sulfa drugs believed
women had orgasms,
good ol’ Doc G begged to disagree.
Such
an argument (not to mention
eyebrows) he raised when he said
a girl could ejaculate! Today,
the debate continues, and the best
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thing
about it, for all concerned,
seems to be the research.
Holly
RESEARCH
I kept telling myself (not to mention my best friend) that my forays into the extramarital underworld were
all about research. Looking back, not that I’m looking all that far behind me, maybe I believed that’s what they were.
I don’t think I believe that now. Nor do I believe I’ve finished exploring the sexual underbelly. That night,
talking with Bryan about possibilities like clubs where couples play openly with other couples or singles or even just with each other in front of a crowd left my mouth watering for a taste of it.
Problem is, it also left me hungry for less time with Jace and more with Bryan.
I have to wonder what it’s like to be together with someone equally intent 500/881
on no-boundary experimentation.
Bryan and I married the wrong kind
of people. Which means, essentially, we married the wrong people. Period.
CASE IN POINT
After the fairly huge rejection
by my probable birth father
a couple of days ago, I’ve been
distraught. Okay, I was totally
stung, not only by his refusal
to develop a connection, but much
more so by his refusal to even
acknowledge that he ever had
an out-of-wedlock relationship
that resulted in a baby. Me.
He’s a bigger bastard than he
made me, not to mention a
coward. All of which I wanted
to say in a return email. But Jace
counseled against it. Said it might be construed as harassment.
And then he launched a not
totally unexpected attack.
I told you to leave it alone,
didn’t I? Will you listen now?
Okay, yeah, he did give me
those exact instructions.
And yeah, the outcome was
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what he thought it would be.
But how can he ice so solidly?
After two days, I have to
talk to someone. I try
Andrea first. But when
I call, she launches her
own story—Aussie Robin
and champagne brunch
and sex on the beach.
Okay, that part is pretty
good. But by the time
she finishes, all heady and
over-the-top happy with
the recollection, I don’t
want to rain on her three-
ring circus. After I hang
up with her, I text Bryan.
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
BUT ANY WAY YOU CAN
SNEAK OUT FOR A DRINK?
I COULD REALLY USE
AN EAR RIGHT NOW.
It only takes a few minutes
for his response to come.
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YOU’RE RESCUING ME FROM
WRITING LESSON PLANS.
GIVE ME AN HOUR, OKAY?
SIXTY-THREE MINUTES LATER
Bryan and I are sitting in Wine off the Vine, my new favorite wine bar.
It’s almost enough just to be here
with him. But a couple of glasses
of good cabernet make me open
my mouth. I start with Mama and Papa.
How they adopted me and why. Move
all the way through Mikayla’s search and to the results. “I guess it was stupid to have any real expectation that
I would find my birth parents, let alone hook up with them. But the closer
we came, the more I found myself
wanting that connection. Jace says
I’m being ridiculous …”
Why? I don’t think so at all.
To be that close to realizing
a lifelong dream, only to
have cold water thrown in your
face? Your feelings are valid.
I realize my eyes have been
fixed on the table. I bring them
level with Bryan’s, which hold
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nothing but sympathy. Well, maybe
mixed with a little lust. “Thank you.”
For what? Telling you the truth?
He slides his leg over, hooks mine, draws it closer.
Where does Jace
think you are right now?
His hand begins to circle my kneecap. Slowly.
Maddeningly. The shush of his
fingers against my nylons is giving me goose bumps. “I told him I was
going out with some friends from
my writers’ group.” Not quite a lie.
His hand stops circling and he
spears me with those pippin
eyes.
Look. I keep thinking about
the last time we were together.
Not so much our little game of
confession, although picturing you
with Sahara was, frankly, quite
the turn-on. I thought our flirtation
was only good fun. But the truth is,
I can’t get you out of my head. I’m not
sure what that means, or where we can
go from here. I only know I want
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to be with you as often as possible.
Right now, I want to kiss you
more than just about anything.
SOMETHING SHIFTS
Inside of me, like
stepping to one side
and suddenly I can see.
I know I shouldn’t
do this here, but find
no way to stop myself.
Brash as lightning,
I bring my face into
his, trace his lips with
the tip of my tongue
before covering his
mouth with my own.
The kissing we did
the last time
I saw him was hot.
But this kiss is steeped
with intimacy. I keep
it relatively short, and yet
when I pull away I can
barely catch enough
breath to power words.
“Something sort of
like that?” I manage.
Bryan’s smile is half
amused, half predatory.
Not quite,
he says.
But
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practice makes perfect.
WE DECIDE TO PRACTICE
Midweek, casino hotel rooms go for
next to nothing, and there just happens to be a casino right down the block from Wine off the Vine. The room
isn’t the fanciest, but it’s clean and the bed is decent, something we barely
discern before we’re kissing again.
Kissing longer. Deeper. With intent. Passion.
So much passion, fear flickers in tiny surges, fueling the electricity traveling my veins as if they were high power lines.
Fear of falling? Fear of flying? Not sure, but it’s a spectacular aphrodisiac.
Bryan takes complete control, something very different for me. But I like it.
Love it. Give myself up to it, and