Treasure of Light (The Light Trilogy) (55 page)

He made an airy gesture of self-reproach. “If my conduct offended you, I sincerely apologize.” He stopped short. “No I don’t. I take it back. I enjoyed your company. For the briefest of moments, you made me forget all about the terrors we’re facing, and,
damn it,
I liked it.” He’d more than liked it. He’d felt flashes of wholeness for the first time since Syene’s death.

Her emerald eyes narrowed incredulously. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with anything.”

“What?
What does that mean?”

He planted his hands firmly on his hips. “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

She frowned at his stance. A malevolent glimmer lit her eyes. “You know, in that position, I could kill you with one swift punch to the solar plexus. You’d never know what hit you.”

Uneasily, he glanced down at his vulnerable chest. “Uh … yes.” Slowly, so as not to alarm her, he took a step backward. “I appreciate the warning.”

“You should. A week ago I wouldn’t have given you one.”

“A week ago you wouldn’t have needed to.”

“Do you know, I wish … I wish desperately that you were the inhuman beast I used to believe you were.”

“Glad to disappoint you. But I thought that’s what this discussion was about. My animal nature.”

She gazed at him over her shoulder and a warm, worried expression strained her face. He walked over to her. The candle cast a saffron aura around them. Halloway observed him quietly. Flickers of gold glimmered in her eyes.

“No intermediary, Carey. This entire affair will be settled within a week. Surely we can stand each other for that long.”

She suppressed a shiver, and instinctively, he lifted an arm, then hesitated to drape it around her shoulders, letting it hover awkwardly behind her back. After two or three agonizing seconds, she took a small step forward and eased into his arms. He pulled her close.

“I didn’t really intend this. I only meant—”

“Just hold me.”

He let himself drown in the fragrance of her hair and the feel of her breasts against his chest. A hot tide flooded his veins with fiery intensity. “I have to go, Carey. I—”

“No.” She looked up at him and he saw desire and something more in her eyes, soft, fearful. “I’d like you to stay.”

“I—I can’t.”

“Why?”

“It would change everything.”

She shook her head lightly, as though denying some inner admonition. “Everything’s already changed. Jeremiel, I … I’m falling in love with you.”

Mentally, he closed in upon himself, hiding. Her words echoed around the chasm in his soul, swirling, sounding different.
I love you … I’m coming back to you, Jeremiel.
“Don’t.”

“Then assign an intermediary so I don’t have to be near you.”

“That’s why you asked?”

“Yes. I thought if I could just avoid you for a few days, I could get you out of my mind.”

He hesitated, dredging up unpleasant thoughts. It could be part of Tahn’s plot—but it didn’t feel like it. He silently reprimanded himself. It didn’t matter. Tomorrow, or the next day, she might have to kill him. Or he her. “I’ve felt the same sorts of emotions, Carey, but you know as well as I do that they’re not healthy for either of us. Besides,” he sucked in a deep breath and gave her a grudging smile, “you’re my enemy. Unless you’ve decided to take me up on my offer?”

“Don’t ask me for a decision about that yet. I can’t tell you, Jeremiel. I don’t know.”

He let her go and took a step away, shoving his hands in his Dockets. “When you do. let me know.”

She shook her fists at him. “Damn it. Can’t you just share an hour with me without demanding—”

“No.”

“Then go!” She thrust an arm toward the door. “I wasn’t even necessarily propositioning you!” she clarified. “More than anything, I just wanted a few minutes to talk with you—to
be
with you. Get out!”

Tears of what looked like fury filled her eyes. She turned her back on him and walked angrily toward her bed. In the wavering light of the candle, her turquoise robe shimmered opalescent, making her seem a slender pillar of dawn sky. He stood awkwardly. She just wanted to talk? He had nothing critical to do for an hour.

He formed the hands in his pockets into tight fists. “What did you want to talk about?”

“You. Gamant civilization. Freedom. I don’t know. A thousand things that have nothing to do with whether or not we have to kill each other tomorrow.” She folded her arms and hugged herself fiercely. “Leave, please.”

He gazed at her solemnly, shifting his weight to his other foot. Deep inside he thought he heard the first muted wails of the shofar, calling to him, warning him. But he found himself saying, “I’d like to stay.”

Uncertainly, she turned. “Don’t do it on my account. I can live without you.”

He tried not to smile. “What do you have to drink around this place—that’s nonalcoholic?”

“How about…. Maybe a cold glass of Sculptorian cherry cider?”

“Never had it before.”

She gracefully crossed to the wall frigerator over her desk, hand hovering over the latch. “I think you’ll like it.”

Dropping into one of the chairs, he pulled out another with his toe and propped his boot on the seat. “I imagine I will. Thanks.”

An hour later, they lay twined in each other’s arms in her narrow bunk. Her forehead pressed against his chin, auburn hair tangling in his beard. He stroked her bare back slowly, letting the silken texture soothe him as he thought.

“You asked about freedom,” he murmured. “I think it means being free to fight for a cause you know is right. to fight with all your heart without ever expecting—”

“You mean being free to die for the salvation of your people, don’t you?” She lifted her head and he gazed into her eyes. They shone now with a strange warm light, so warm that he felt buffeted by that gaze.

“There is no greater freedom than that.”

She lay her head back down, nuzzling her cheek tenderly against his shoulder. “Good Lord, I think I’m beginning to understand Gamants.”

She’d said it with such a tone of reluctance, his breathing went shallow. He looked down at her and squeezed her arm. “Sorry you asked me to stay?”

“No. You taught me something important tonight.”

“What’s that?”

“I’d always thought soldiers fought to win. I always have. I think Cole has. You taught me there’s another kind of soldier: One who considers the battle itself redemption and fights without either fear of defeat or hope of victory.”

He smiled. “I didn’t say anything about fear. And as for hope—”

The door com buzzed and Jeremiel tensed. Janowitz’s voice rang out. “Jeremiel. Harper checked in. We’ve got problems on level twenty.”

Carey exhaled in disappointment and lightly pounded a fist against the sheet. Jeremiel gently touched her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

Reaching up to the com unit over her bed, he struck it and called, “On my way, Chris.”

CHAPTER 41

Yosef hobbled along in the rear, his blasted arthritic knees aching. Down the dim corridor in front of him, Ari darted like a great gangly ostrich. They seemed to be in a maze of interconnecting passageways, as though standing at the hub of a spiderweb. Thick shielding covered the walls, ceiling, and floor, gleaming with a haunting silver reflection.

“Ari?” Yosef called quietly.
“Ari!”

His oldest friend turned around. “Hurry up. What are you doing way back there?”

Yosef trudged forward, glaring. Stopping five feet from Ari, he accused. “You got us lost! Didn’t you? You and your boasting about knowing how ships are laid out. Bah!”

“Me? It’s your fault. If you hadn’t slunk down that dark corridor trying to find the men’s room, we’d have never wound up here.”

“‘Slunk?’ Is that a word?”

“Sure it is. I just used it, didn’t I?”

“The only thing that proves is that you’re illiterate.”

Ari squinted down the hall suspiciously as though he’d glimpsed a shadow reflected against the wall. “Words are unimportant. When you shout, people understand just fine.”

Yosef sighed and waddled forward, turning left down the connecting passageway. A long dark corridor, only the faint light from adjacent halls lit it. He headed for the next intersection, hoping he’d find a place to sit on before he crumpled. A faint scraping sound found his ears, then Ari’s hurried footsteps pounded behind him. A skeletal hand clamped over his mouth and jerked him back against the wall.

“What’s that sound?” Ari demanded.

“How would I know?”

They both stood still in the near darkness, listening. A muffled thudding sounded, accompanied by more scrapes.

“Sounds like the mummy coming to get us,” Ari said.

Yosef turned around and swatted his nose.
“You’re not watching any more of those blasted Earthling movies!
They’re warping what little mind you have left. Haven’t you got anything more—”

“Shh! Be quiet!”

Yosef reluctantly obeyed. The thudding closed in around them. Ari gripped his arm and dragged him hurriedly back around the corner again. Both of them peered around the wall, squinting into the darkness.

A muted squeal of metal against metal touched the darkness and from near the end of the passageway, a duct covering fell onto the floor. Yosef could hear Ari’s heavy breathing over his head. From out of the duct, Lieutenant Halloway and Captain Tahn crawled. They’d studied both officers long and hard on their room coms. Ari and Yosef pulled their heads back, staying out of sight. Yosef’s heart pounded. What would happen if the Magisterial crew found them? They’d probably be executed as spies on the spot.

A few minutes after Tahn’s hushed whispering died, Ari nudged Yosef. “Come on,” he mouthed. “Let’s follow them.”

Yosef grimaced.

Ari cautiously eased around the corner. Yosef heaved a sigh and reached down to rub his spasming knee muscles before gingerly following.

Joel Erinyes sat in his command chair squinting unpleasantly at
Ambassador
Ornias—the title had begun to grate like glass in his belly. Any thoughts of using this man to his own best political ends had vanished. The slimy politician had proved impossible to deal with. He’d ordered a new console moved onto the bridge and placed squarely before the forward screen. He lounged back now, boots propped on the top of the com controls, dressed in a purple uniform heavily adorned with gold braid running around the collar and down the sleeves and pant legs. Nauseating.

The com aura snapped on around his com officer’s head. A pretty bronze-skinned beauty, Saren Lil nodded obliviously. “Captain? Major Lichtner from Tikkun requests visual with you.”

“Put him on.”

The forward screen flared to life, Lichtner’s face looking out at him. They’d met only once, years before. Erinyes had forgotten how strikingly square the man’s face was, how limp his light brown hair.

“Greeting, Captain Erinyes, I hope you’re well?”

“Fine, Major. What can we do for you?”

“Magistrate Slothen just tranned saying I should take some special security precautions here. They’re rather extraordinary and he wouldn’t clarify his reasons. He said
Klewe
is in charge of operations and suggested I discuss the situation with you.”

“Oh, I’m sure they relate to—”

“To the very
real
possibility,” Ornias rudely interrupted, “that Jeremiel Baruch is in charge of the
Hoyer,
and he’s coming right at you, Major.” Laughing grimly, Ornias lowered his boots and stood up, to pace before the monitor.

Lichtner’s eyes narrowed, but Erinyes couldn’t see the rest of his face for the top of Ornias’ head. He shifted angrily, waving a hand. “Will you either sit down or get out of the way, Ambassador!”

Ornias lazily strolled to the side. “Introduce me to the Major, Captain.”

“Major Johannes Lichtner, this is Ambassador Ornias. He’s our new Gamant specialist.”

Lichtner sniffed, lifting his chin. “You’re not
Gamant
yourself, are you?”

“No.”

But Lichtner eyed him suspiciously as if he could tell just by the shape of his face or the color of his eyes. “Well, good.” He turned back to Erinyes, jaw going hard. “Captain, is the information about Baruch confirmed?”

“Negative. We only suspect he’s compromised the
Hoyer.
We have no clear evidence to support that suspicion.”

“I see.” Lichtner fingered his chin. “Well, what am I to expect? Slothen said the
Hoyer
had already vaulted. When will you arrive?”

“We have some minor equipment problems to deal with here, but we should be initiating vault within four hours. Expect us day after tomorrow.”

Lichtner spread his arms wide, angrily asking, “Well, this is rather ridiculous, don’t you think? What am I supposed to do with the
Hoyer
in the meantime? I mean, am I responsible for trying to save Tahn from—”