Travis (9 page)

So
why did it feel like this was the final goodbye when that happened a lifetime
ago?

Hadn’t
she been through enough already?

Watching
Gage as he walked out of her life – even if it had been her choice – was hard
enough to deal with. It was almost as though she were being tested. As though
watching Travis walk out of her life all those years ago wasn’t the most
difficult thing she would ever have to do. And now this. Handing Travis divorce
papers was harder than even those two instances combined.

Honestly,
she expected to be driving away with the papers signed which would’ve at least
given her some closure. He hadn’t signed them though. He didn’t even look at
them. Instead, Travis had looked at her like he was lost, and for a few ridiculous
moments Kylie wanted to find him again. But, that wasn’t possible. Their lives
had gone in two entirely different directions and based on what she knew of
Travis Walker today, he was not the man she had fallen in love with back then.

Not
to mention, she wasn’t the same woman.

Far
from it.

Ever
since Gage Matthews walked into her life, tripping her up, Kylie made sure to lose
the naïve, over the moon dreams she’d carried with her since she was younger.
More specifically, since Travis broke her heart.

There
was no happily ever after for her. Not with Travis. Not with Gage. Of course,
she was either stupid or naïve – possibly both – to believe that she could get
what she needed from either of them, but it didn’t stop her heart from jumping
up and down, flailing around as though she needed to be seen.

To
top off her overflowing plate of foolishness, Kylie had given in to her
curiosity and hunted the internet for information on Travis. What she unearthed
had undoubtedly helped to keep her from falling apart. It was the reason she
was spurred into motion, rushing out to find a lawyer so she could get the
divorce proceedings underway.

 Finding
out that the man you married all those years ago was working toward owning and
operating one of the biggest fetish related resorts in the state was certainly
a wakeup call. Right there in Coyote Ridge. Where everything had come full
circle for her.

Not
only was she stunned by what she read regarding the nature of the resort his
company was building, but Kylie had also realized right then that Travis had
done well for himself over the years. Knowing the day was going to come when he
delivered divorce papers to her, just to protect himself and his newfound
wealth, she decided to beat him to the punch.

It
wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if she were the one taking steps to sever all ties
to him. At least that’s what she told herself. A mantra she kept on repeat in
her head until she couldn’t stand to be around herself any more. But now,
today, the ache had returned. The look on Travis’ face wrecked her, even if she
knew he’d merely been reflecting his surprise.

By
the time the tears finally stopped rolling down her face, Kylie was on her way
out of the small town of Coyote Ridge and heading back toward the toll road
that would lead her home. It wouldn’t take her long from that point. Glancing
down at the gas gauge, she realized she needed to stop, or she was going to be
wishing on a star to get her home. Based on her recent luck, she knew exactly
how that would play out – and she was too tired to hoof it anywhere.

A
few minutes later, Kylie pulled into the Gas ‘n Go where she and Gage had
stopped during her first trip there. Taking a deep breath, she willed her hands
to stop shaking as she wiped the wet streaks from her cheeks. There was no
reason to be crying now. It was said and done, and the only thing she had to
wait for was Travis’ call. It seemed like she’d been waiting a lifetime for
that.

Climbing
out of the truck, she moved around to the pump. With hurried movements, she
slid her credit card through the reader and managed to hit all of the
appropriate buttons before turning to shove the nozzle into the gas tank. Going
through the motions, she filled her tank, took her receipt and climbed back in.

With
her hand on the key sticking out of the ignition, Kylie glanced out the window.
Her breath caught. At first she thought she was hallucinating, but there was no
way she’d be able to conjure up a man that devastatingly handsome in her mind.

Travis.

He
was walking into the store, his gaze locked with hers as though he could sense
she was looking at him. Which she was. He wasn’t coming to talk to her, which
was good. Really good. There was no way she could face him right now. Flipping
the key over, Kylie listened to the engine roar to life, and a few deep breaths
later, with the radio blaring her favorite song by Miranda Lambert, Kylie did
her best to clear her mind of Travis Walker.

And
Gage Matthews.

Damn
it was going to be a long drive.

▪▫▪▫▪▫

A
little less than an hour later, Kylie was pulling into her driveway, glancing
up at her modest little house – her pride and joy – and for the first time, she
realized how empty and lonely her house actually felt. Since the very first day
she walked through it with her Realtor, she’d fallen in love and then spent
months restoring it with her own two hands, pouring all of her heart and soul
into it. But for some reason as she parked in the shallow driveway, she felt
like something was missing.

Shaking
off the feeling, Kylie made her way inside, dropping her purse on the table
just inside the kitchen. Maybe she should get a cat. At least then she’d have
someone to greet her when she came home. Never had she even considered that she
was just lonely. Not until recently. Not until Gage walked out of her house.
And not until today.

As
it turned out, severing the final ties with Travis was harder than she thought.
Another explanation as to why she’d put it off for so long.

Inhaling
the fresh scent of lemon oil and wood, Kylie was ready to get on with her day.
Before she made it two steps, a loud knock on the front door nearly sent her
into hysterics. Turning abruptly, her hand covering her heart to keep the
jolted organ from jumping clean out of her chest, she stared through the glass pane
in the front door.

And
then her heartbeat ceased.

“Kylie,
open the door.”

It
was as though her body wasn’t hers and she couldn’t understand what she was
supposed to do, other than stare at the huge cowboy that stood just a few feet
away on her front porch.

“Come
on, open the door,” he told her and she managed to move one step closer.

When
she could reach the handle, Kylie took a deep breath and removed the only
protective barrier between her and the man she didn’t think she’d ever see
again. At least not this soon anyway.

“Can
we go somewhere and talk?” Travis asked without preamble.

Kylie
couldn’t even find the words to respond. Seeing him on her front porch, his
cowboy hat tipped down over his eyes, throwing his handsome face in shadow,
mixed with his impressive size had her on the verge of drooling if she even
attempted to open her mouth.

What
was wrong with her?

Shaking
her head back and forth to clear the fog that had filled all of the space
between her ears, she balled her hands into fists, willing the shaking to stop.

“Then
maybe we can talk out here?”

He
must’ve assumed she was telling him no, but Kylie was more comfortable with the
latter anyway. At least they’d be on her turf.

“Ok,”
she squeaked, irritated with the sound of her voice. Clearing her throat, she
nodded and opened the screen door as he took a step back.

“You
still drive like a bat out of hell, you know that?” he said as he leaned
against the post, crossing one ankle over the other, his arms across his chest.

The
pose was meant to be casual. Instead, it was just disturbingly sexy.

The
man was intimidating. Being this close to him, Kylie felt every ounce of his
presence right down to the core of her. Travis stood at six-foot-five-inches,
which was almost a foot taller than her, and intimidating in its own right, but
it was the breadth of his chest and the power she could see in his muscled
thighs that gave her pause. Confident, arrogant, whole-heartedly sure of
himself… Travis Walker was dangerous. To her sanity.

Crap.
Her body was still reacting to him as though she were nineteen and stupid.

“Did
you follow me?” she asked, hoping she sounded more unaffected by his presence
at her house than she really was.

“Tried.”
Travis shrugged.

Fidgeting,
Kylie wondered whether she should sit down. She moved closer to the porch
swing, but then opted to forgo sitting there. She didn’t need that much Travis
looming over her. Instead, she moved over to the railing and lifted herself to
sit on the edge, glancing over at him briefly. Rounding her back, her legs
crossed at the ankle and her hands gripping the rail, Kylie was going for
nonchalant.

She
probably looked more like petrified.

“Did
you sign the papers?”

“No.”

His
immediate response caught her off guard. She figured the only reason he would drive
the distance he had would be to give her the papers and be done with her.

“Any
reason why not?”

“Haven’t
looked at them yet,” he explained as though that made perfect sense.

“You
should,” she muttered.

“Why?”

Kylie
stared into stormy blue-gray eyes and a flood of memories assaulted her. Like
it was yesterday and not ten years ago that she’d last seen him standing in the
living room of her apartment. The same apartment she was supposed to be living
in with him since they’d been married just three short weeks before. Rather
than staying, Travis had turned her world upside down and walked away.

Over
the years, she had tried to convince herself that he wasn’t impacted by what he
did, but she’d seen it in the expression on his face that fateful day. He
didn’t want to go, which only pissed her off even more. It didn’t stop him in
the end.

“Why
are you here?” she asked, ignoring his last question. She wasn’t going to get
into her reasons for filing for divorce. The only thing he needed to know was
that she was ten years later than she should’ve been in getting it taken care
of.

“To
talk.”

The
man didn’t know how to speak in sentences. Since the day she met him, he’d
rarely gone into detail when he spoke. He was a man of few words, but he always
managed to cut to the chase. He also had an uncanny ability to keep his
emotions locked down. At least she’d been right about one thing… he hadn’t
changed over the years.

At
least not in ways she’d hoped he would.

♂♀

As
his common sense returned in slow measures, Travis was beginning to question
what the fuck he was doing. As soon as Kylie’s truck disappeared from sight,
the only thing he could think about was not letting her walk away so easily.
The small voice in his head kept telling him not to fuck this up again. There’d
be no turning back if he let her go this time.

She
wanted a divorce.

Of
course she wanted a divorce.

He
was a fucking idiot and walked out on her ten years ago because he never
thought she’d accept him for who he truly was. Not that he thought she was any
different now. Nor had he ever even given her a chance to decide for herself.
And the truth was he sure as hell hadn’t changed. So why he was standing in
front of her, half tempted to convince her otherwise was beyond him.

She
looked just as innocent as ever, although he witnessed that strange detachment
in her eyes earlier. He didn’t want to think he’d been the one to put that look
on her face. It was rather presumptuous for him to believe he’d had any impact
on her life at all. After the short time they were together, it was true that
Kylie had forever changed him, but he was a stupid fuck for thinking the same
might’ve been true for her.

Looking
at her now, Travis noticed that her eyes were red as though she’d been crying.
He could still see the faint tear streaks on her soft cheeks. He wanted to lean
over and run the backs of his fingers down her smooth face, get rid of the
evidence from any pain he might’ve caused her. Only touching her, even for that
brief moment when he tried to stop her from leaving the parking lot at Walker
Demo had stirred up emotions inside of him that Travis didn’t even know
existed.

Anymore.

Not
since the day he walked out on Kylie had he ever felt even a slight attachment
to anyone else. Not one single time.

Well,
maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but he was leaving Gage out of this because he
didn’t understand his strange obsession with the man any more than he
understood why he was standing here.

For
the entire drive to her house, Travis tried to convince himself why he was
following her. Closure? He needed it, and after seeing the sadness in her eyes
when she walked away from him, he knew she deserved it. The least he could do
was see how she was doing and try to ensure she knew that his walking away had
never been about her.

Not
that he particularly cared to explain himself. He’d never been adept at
expressing his feelings in a way that benefited anyone, especially him.

 “You
could’ve just given me the papers,” Kylie said before he could say anything
more. “I would’ve been on my way, and you wouldn’t have had to drive all the
way out here.”

“Like
I told you, I haven’t signed them,” he explained, noticing the way her eyebrows
darted up as though she hadn’t expected him to say as much. “Mind if we just
talk?”

Kylie
shrugged her shoulders as though she didn’t care, turning her attention to the
yard beyond her front porch. Travis couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He
noticed the way she fidgeted, rocking back and forth on the edge of the rail,
her hands squeezed around the wood beam until her knuckles were white, refusing
to look up at him.

She
was cute as hell.

He
allowed the silence to hang between them for a moment while he studied her. He
couldn’t help but notice that Kylie’s once gentle demeanor had been replaced
with something harder, colder even. Or maybe it was just him that brought out
that side of her. He didn’t know.

“What
did you want to talk about?” Kylie asked, looking around at anything except
him.

“Look
at me, Kylie,” he stated more sternly than he anticipated.

Kylie’s
eyes shot toward his face, and he met them head on. He was demanding, he knew
that about himself, but it was another part of himself he’d kept hidden from
her all those years ago. The difference between then and now, Travis didn’t
pretend to be something he wasn’t. Not after her. Knowing that Kylie had fallen
for a man that didn’t exist, Travis vowed never to do that to anyone else again.
He made it abundantly clear who he was by the way he acted, sometimes overdoing
it just to ensure no one got the wrong impression of him.

“How
are you?”

Kylie’s
eyebrows shot the opposite direction, a frown replacing the surprise he’d just
witnessed. Sure, Travis knew this was unusual behavior, especially for him, but
he wanted to know how she was. Seeing her with Gage at Kaleb’s had raised a heap
of questions, the first being how they knew each other. Since he couldn’t just
out and out grill her over her relationship with the man, he wanted to start
out simple.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”
For some reason he didn’t believe her.

“What
do you want me to say, Travis? I’ve managed to mind my own business all these
years, letting you walk away because you chose to do so only to have your
friend show up on my doorstep and flip my world upside down. I’m fine. I figure
that’s a polite way of putting it.”

Travis
didn’t speak right away. He processed what she said for a minute, keeping his
arms firmly crossed over his chest, his eyes locked on her.

He
had suspected that Gage went digging around in his past, and it wasn’t shocking
that he’d figured out Travis was still married. His confusion came from Gage’s audacity,
his ability to deceive Kylie just to get back at him. Travis could think of a
million things to say about Gage, but devious had never been one of them.

“He’s
not my friend.”
Seriously, that was all he came up with?

“Excuse
me?”

“You
heard me. Gage isn’t my friend. He’s a friend of my brother.”

“Yeah,
Gage told me you had a brother,” Kylie stated.

Hearing
that statement from her nearly leveled him. Here was a woman he had married ten
years ago, hoping she would fill a void that he knew couldn’t be filled, all
the while he kept his personal life a complete secret from her.

“I
have six brothers.”

Her
face fell, and Travis saw the recognition as it dawned. She didn’t know him.

“Six?”

“Yes.”

“How
did I
not
know that?” she asked, sounding defeated as she looked down at
the ground.

“There’s
a lot about me you didn’t know, Kylie.”

“Evidently,
but...”

When
she didn’t finish the sentence, Travis contemplated how much he should tell her
now. If he thought about it, there was no reason he should fill her in on the
details now that she was asking for a divorce. How much would she even care to
know anyway?

“It
doesn’t matter,” Kylie blurted, jumping down from the rail and moving toward
the door.

Before
Travis could think it through, he grabbed Kylie’s arm much like he had earlier.
What was it about this woman that he didn’t want her running away from him?

This
was new for him. These emotions she had reawakened. He wasn’t ready to move on
with his routine, day-to-day life just yet and for some reason, now that his
past had caught up with him, he felt as though she deserved some explanations.

“I
want to talk. Can you just give me this?” he asked, then realized he didn’t
have the right to ask her for anything.

“This?
What’s
this
, Travis?” Kylie’s pretty blue eyes darkened with anger, and
he knew he officially crossed the line. “You walked out on
me
, remember?
And after that, you left it up to me to get the divorce. I had to relive the
pain all over again just so I could muster up the courage to get a lawyer.”

Her
harsh words were only a decibel above a whisper, but loud enough to echo around
her small porch. Travis kept his hand on her arm, terrified that she would run
as soon as he let go.

“Calm
down.”

Kylie’s
face turned red and she yanked her arm out of his grasp.

“Fuck
you, Travis Walker. Fuck. You!”

Travis
didn’t move for what felt like an eternity, but he knew it had only been a few
seconds. Before the screen door could slam behind her, Travis followed her into
the house, ignoring his own curiosity and keeping his attention on her.

Without
thinking, he grabbed her, turning her to face him as he held her shoulders,
keeping her at arm’s length.

“Don’t
touch me!” Kylie yelled at him, trying to pull away, and damn it all to hell if
the little hellcat didn’t turn him on when she did that. Where the hell was the
fire in her back then? Why didn’t she fight to keep him when he would’ve done
anything for her to stop him from walking out the door?

Travis
released her shoulders, but managed to crowd her between his body and the wall,
not touching her. How he managed that tremendous feat was beyond him.

“Don’t
walk away from me, Kylie. Give me a chance to talk to you.”

“You
say that like you deserve that chance, Travis,” Kylie retorted. “I don’t owe
you anything.”

Travis
shook his head, standing to his full height but not moving away from her.
Looking down at her mouth, he fought the urge to eliminate the few inches left
between them and kiss her. He wanted to know if she tasted as sweet as he
remembered. He’d dreamed about her kisses, the soft way she used to mewl when
he drove his tongue deep in her mouth.

For
years after he walked away, he found himself reliving those stolen moments the
two of them had somehow managed to find together. Despite their odds, Travis
had fallen for this woman during a time when he should’ve been keeping as far
away from a sweet girl like her as he possibly could.

He
should’ve given himself that same lecture now. Kylie was right. He didn’t
deserve anything from her. Not her time and certainly not her understanding.

“Do
you want to walk away?” he asked her. Based on what he could read in her eyes,
Kylie hated him with a passion, but there was still some interest there on her
part.

After
what happened to Zane several months ago, Travis had promised himself he’d look
forward in life, not wanting to let another moment pass him by because he
wasn’t sure he’d have many more if he did.

This
was
his
moment.

Kylie
was the moment he didn’t want to let pass him by.

♀♂

Was
he out of his ever lovin’ mind?

Or
was she that transparent?

Kylie
desperately wanted to convince Travis that she didn’t want to have anything to
do with him. She really, really did. She wanted him to believe that she wanted
to walk away. No, she wanted him to believe that she wanted to run screaming
from him.

Only
that wasn’t the case, was it.

Damn
it all to hell!

Kylie
let some of the tension escape as she stared up into Travis’ familiar face.
Familiar, yet different in so many ways. He still had the same angular jaw, his
nose was still slightly crooked, and his lashes were still dark and thick and…
Why did he have to be so beautiful?

“Tell
me you don’t want to walk away from me, Kylie.” His words, although quiet,
sounded like a demand, but for some reason, she felt as though there was a plea
in there as well.

Did
he not want her to walk away? If so, why? What was his intention? Hell, she’d
already learned that she knew absolutely nothing about this man. Six brothers?

“I
don’t know what I want, Travis,” she told him honestly, reminding herself not
to let go of the anger. It was her only defense against him.

“Let’s
go talk. There’s a reason we’re standing here today and damn it, I don’t want
you to walk away yet. We both deserve closure, Kylie. Can you just give me
that?”

She
closed her eyes as her heart recognized what he’d said. There wasn’t a reason
for hope to flourish because he wanted closure. He wanted to be able to walk
away without the guilt. Again, Kylie didn’t know why she would owe him
anything. He deserved to feel guilty – if in fact he did.

But
no matter how much she wanted to be the stronger person, to tell him to go to
hell and not look back, that naive, broken hearted young girl he walked out on
all those years ago started jumping up and down inside her, screaming “Give him
a chance! Maybe there was a good reason!”

She
knew she shouldn’t listen to that stupid girl anymore, but she felt as though
she didn’t have a choice. He was right on one thing. At the very least, they
did deserve closure.

But
she also knew she was way too emotional to deal with it or him right now. Being
this close to Travis reminded her of things she’d let go of, desires she had no
business harboring. He was irresistible, always had been, and it appeared she
was just as affected by him now as she was then.

“Tomorrow,”
she told him, putting her hand on his chest and pushing. He didn’t budge.