Trapped With the Alpha (Balfour Shifters Book 1) (9 page)

Why I let Knox’s words get in my head is beyond me. I understand why he gives me shit. It’s his responsibility to help his Alpha. I also understand, as the Alpha, I’m stronger with my mate, and I need that strength for what’s to come with the rogues. With the way I’ve been acting lately, I wonder if I even deserve to be the Alpha of this pack, let alone find my destined mate.

I’m through with feeling angry. It hasn’t gotten me anywhere in the past, and it sure as hell isn’t getting me anywhere now. Considering it’s my own fault, I have no one to be angry with but myself. I figure I’ve already beat myself up enough for a while, so with a growl of frustration, I storm out of the bathroom.

What I need now is to get hammered and forget this night ever happened. Hell, if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll forget everything and just go numb. Never mind hammered. I think I need to get absolutely obliterated. I could use a break from my own thoughts. Maybe enough liquor will give me the numbness I need so desperately.

Stomping over to the bar, I drop my ass onto the closest bar stool and signal the bartender to bring me a shot. At this point, I don’t care what the hell he brings me, as long as it’s something good and strong. “Give me a shot of the good shit.”

“You got it, boss,” he replies, grabbing a bottle off the top shelf.

It takes him no more than thirty seconds to slap a shot of Devil’s Springs vodka in front of me, and it takes me even less time to slam it back. The burn of the liquor is exactly what I need. I look up to the bartender and lift my chin. “I’m gonna have to give your ass a raise. This is just what I need.”

“No, problem,” he responds, turning to put the bottle back.

“Thanks, man,” I say, still feeling the burn. “Don’t bother putting that away. Keep ‘em coming.”

“Sure thing.” He gives me a nod and pours me another two then walks to the other end of the bar to help the other customers waiting on him.

I immediately slam both of the shots back and relish the burn that is slowly taking over my body. This is exactly what I need right now, the only thing that will clear my head. I don’t just want to be comfortably numb. No, that’s not enough. I don’t want to feel a thing, not one thing.

Shaking my head, I smirk to myself. It still boggles my mind that I’m such a dumb asshole all of the time, but I don’t know why it surprises me anymore. I swear, I’ve been this way for the last eight-hundred years. It was as if I woke up one day, and nothing was ever right again. It’s slowly getting worse as the years go by.

Reaching for another shot, I realize I’ve already downed what he poured. Before I even have time to raise my hand and signal for another shot, three more shots appear in front of me. Hell yeah, he deserves a raise. This bastard knows what I need even before I do. I grab the first shot and prepare to slam it back.

Before I have the glass up to my mouth, I hear an unfamiliar voice say, “What’s made you feel the need to drown your sorrows in that poison?”

I turn my head toward the voice and come face to face with the dullest set of eyes I have ever seen. Staring at her, I realize I’ve seen her before. Well, at least, I’ve seen those eyes before. I just can’t remember where. Hell, I’m too drunk to remember much at this point.

Ignoring her, I slam back the next shot. I push myself up from the bar stool to stand, trying to swallow back the howl of pain my wolf is forcing out. As soon as I stand, my head spins and I stumble against the bar. I haven’t been this drunk in hundreds of years.

Her hand reaches out to steady me, but I shake her off. “Don’t touch me.”

Without even bothering to glance her way, I stumble toward the back of the room. I find my brother in the corner with some skanky ass chick on his lap. I stagger over to him, take the beer right out of his hand, and chug it back.

“What happened to you?” he asks, pushing her from his lap. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

Ignoring him, I grab the bitch’s drink and drain it, hoping to drink myself into oblivion and forget this night ever happened. Before I can motion for the waitress to bring me something else, Caleb grabs me. “Whoa there, Brody. You’re looking like it may be time to slow down a bit.”

Stupid condescending bastard… Like I need to listen to him right now. “Have you forgotten who your Alpha is, brother?”

“Shit, okay then. By all means, drink yourself to death.” He shakes his head and pulls the bitch back into his lap.

Hell, I was better off staying with the nosy bitch at the bar. At least I didn’t give a damn what she thought of me. With Caleb, his disgust with me hurts, and it hurts a hell of a lot. ”Don’t worry about me, bro. I got a handle on it.”

Turning back to the bar, I figure I may as well take the lesser of the two evils, and head back to sit with the black-eyed demon. I notice she is no longer there, and the stool now sits empty. Giving a quick glance around the bar, I quickly decide that I really don’t give a flying fuck where she is. With unsteady legs, I make my way back to the bar and decide the only company I want tonight is more booze. Tripping over the legs of the stool, I right myself and slam my ass down on the seat before I fall face first on the dirty floor.

“Yo, bartender,” I yell out, holding the bar top for leverage. “Keep the Devil’s Springs coming and don’t stop until I pass out.”

He looks up at me and shakes his head, but does exactly as he’s told; bringing me the liquid gold I am so desperate for. Without even taking a breath of air, I slam it back, finally washing away the fire blazing in my mouth. Two more shots pass my lips before blackness starts to fill my vision. Now this, this is what I’ve been waiting for—complete and utter numbness.

***

My Pixie walked toward me again. Instead of her normal smile, a seductive grin graced her lips as she slinked toward me. “Hello, my gentle wolf.”

Covering her shoulders was the red robe I’d gifted her the day I made her my mate. With each step she took, it slid down her shoulders, until her beautiful rosy nipples peeked out from the material for me to see. “Hello, Pixie.”

“I see you’re ready for me,” she said as she tossed me a flirty wink. 

Looking down, I noticed for the first time my nakedness. My cock was standing proud, the veins protruding, ready to delve into her heat. “I’m always ready for you, my love. There is nothing in this world I love more than to sink deep into your body.”

By the time she stepped in front of me, her robe was pooling at her feet. Her sun-kissed skin glowed in the moonlight, revealing the feast my wolf and I would both soon enjoy. Reaching out, I took a pebbled nipple between my fingers and gave it a little pinch. “It seems you’re ready for me, too. Tell me, what is it that you want?”

“Of course, I’m ready for you,” she replied as she dropped to her knees in front on me. Grabbing a hold of my cock, she licked her lips and looked up at me, then said, “This right here, this is exactly what I want.” A second later, her warm mouth engulfed my hardness, bringing a roar from my lips, and I grabbed her hair, gently pushing her head down and urging her to take me deeper. 

 Her long blonde hair fell through my fingers like silk, each strand shining in the moonlight as her head continued to bob up and down my length. As she continued to lavish her attention on my cock, I noticed a change. Her mouth was no longer the paradise it once was. The skills that I had carefully taught her over time had all but been forgotten, being replaced with jerky movements, making me grow softer with every flick of her tongue. 

I looked down again and watched as her hair darkened. The color of moonbeams transformed to the shade of dried earth. The long tresses shortened, becoming a curly mop of frizz. The transformation made me feel sick.

Fear filled me, and I jerked away. “Pixie?”

My eyes pop open as sleep clears from my foggy head. The first thing I notice is a warm body between my legs, sucking my cock. A rage unlike I’ve never felt fills my body. “Get the fuck off me!” I yell as I push the shoulders of the chick trying to suck me off.

 The same bitch who was giving me hell at the bar scurries off the bed. Her eyes fill with anger. “What’s wrong with you?”

Ignoring her question, I study her. Her muddy brown hair is a mess, and the mascara that darkened her eyes is now running down her face. She reeks of sex and cheap liquor. I don’t even remember meeting her last night. This woman is someone I’d never consider sticking my dick in if I hadn’t been drunk off my ass. God, how could I have sunk so low?

“You need to get the hell out of my room.” My self-loathing grows as I look at her, and I don’t even bother trying to hide the look of disgust on my face. 

She glares at me before replying. “I don’t know what your problem is.”

Before she can even bend down and grab her clothes, I’m off the bed, tossing my lamp across the room. “You wanna know what my problem is? I woke up with your skank ass in my bed. Even worse, my cock was in your mouth.”

She stumbles back, nearly falling on her ass. “You brought me back here last night. You fell asleep so I stayed.”

Her words are coming out fast, so fast I can barely make them out. She scrambles around the room, picking up stray clothes and mumbling her apologies under her breath. Something in her tone seems off, and my shifter side is telling me this bitch is trouble. 

“What?” I shout, grabbing a lamp from my bedside table and tossing it across the room, where it hits the corner of the dresser and explodes on impact, glass raining down on the floor.

This crap happened again. Twice in as many weeks, I’ve brought a woman back to our lodge with the sole purpose of fucking her. Over the years, I have done everything I can to fill the hollowness inside me, but never have I brought a piece of pussy to our home.

Some of the other pack members do, but not many. This is our home, our safe haven from the world. We can be ourselves here, as wolf or man. This is a place for our mates, not a place to bring a one-night stand, and definitely not a place to bring back a piece of ass as desperate as this bitch. “I don’t bring whores back to my room. This bed is for my Pixie.”

A gasp leaves my lips at the same exact time as the name Pixie does. Within seconds of my dream lover’s name passing my lips, my beast pushes forward, wanting to get out and wreak havoc. My canines drop, and my eyes start to shift. Not having time to do anything else, I look at the brunette and shout, “Get out now!”

I hear a mumbled, “
Oh my God
,” before she is off and running toward the door. It slams behind her, and a second later, my wolf pushes forward. No longer having control of him, the change rips through my body with a force like I have never known, causing me to shift faster than I ever have before. I jump onto the bed, clawing, tearing, and ripping, unable to stop until there is nothing left but shreds of fabric scattered across my room. In my fit of rage, I only stop to throw my head back and let out a ferocious howl. As the sound of my anger echoes through the room, causing my ears to ring, I swear the name Isabel hits my ears. 

Suddenly, my other half pulls back, and before I am even able to make sense of what is happening, I fall to the floor, completely naked and completely one-hundred percent man. His thoughts meld with mine now, and memories come rushing back at me so fast it’s like a slideshow ripping through my brain at top speed. The pain is nearly unbearable, causing me to grab the side of my head. I forgot her. I forgot the woman I love.

Image after image of us together assaults me, leaving me unable to do so much as blink my eyes. It is the worst kind of torment imaginable as I am stuck frozen, unable to do anything but witness the past and the life we once had together.

My Pixie and I running through our meadow.

Me telling her how much I love her and how she belongs to me, that she’s my mate.

My Pixie and I making slow sweet love one second and then ravaging each other the next.

Myself as I lay the first claiming bite to the tender skin between her shoulder and her neck.

 Letting out my anguish, I scream, “Isabel!”

Izzy

AS MY
name leaves his lips, a pain unlike any other tears through my body. An agonizing wail escapes me as I am suddenly assaulted with a feeling that can only be described as having my body turn itself inside out. Agony crashes through me, so excruciating that I’m unable to even think.

Just as pain spirals me into darkness, I feel a deep tearing rip through my body that brings me back to reality. I feel as if I’m being torn from inside myself, as if claws are ripping me to shreds. The force of it causes me to double over in agony in an attempt to keep myself together. It’s as if the very essence of what makes me who I am is being torn from my body.

Collapsing to my knees, I attempt to pull in a breath, but I’m unable to force air into my lungs. Suddenly, I feel my body being pulled forward. It’s the most intense pull imaginable, as if I am being sucked through some type of vortex. Fear fills me, and I wonder if my time in purgatory is finally over and my journey to hell is starting. Unable to resist it any longer, I finally cave and allow myself to give in.