Transparent (7 page)

“Do you like movies?” she finally blurts out.

I try not to laugh. This could not get weirder. “Yeah, I do.”

“We, uh, do a movie night at my house every Friday. I swear it’s not as lame as it sounds. My parents usually duck out. Brady and—”

“Wait.” I stop on my way to get water. “Is that why you stopped talking? You thought I’d think you weren’t cool?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. There’s probably a million exciting things to do in Las Vegas. Madison isn’t exactly the center of awesome. Hell, it’s not even the center of vaguely entertaining.”

I can’t help but smile. It’s like we’re both trying not to step on the other’s feet. “You think I got to do anything fun with people always watching me? Of course I’ll come.”

She smiles. “Great. Except for the fact that Brady will so rub this in. He swore you’d say yes.”

My cheeks warm. Brady wanted to invite me, too? Before I can reply, a guy floats into view and all the good feelings vanish. I shove Bea down the nearest aisle, abandoning the cart.

She stares at me. “What the hell?”

“I gotta go. Now.” I can’t seem to get air. This can’t be happening.

“What? Why?”

My voice is a whisper, as if he’ll hear me across the store. “Graham.”

“Who?” Bea searches between my rims, confused.

I regret bumming a ride off her. She shouldn’t be involved, but she is and now I’ve put another person in harm’s way. I take a deep breath. “He’s my brother.”

“I take it you guys don’t get along,” Bea says.

“Not exactly.” I’m glad she can’t see how I shake, because I’m seriously freaking out. Knees knocking, lip quivering, and all. Bea peeks around the corner, and I pull her back. “Don’t!”

“Calm down, he’s browsing for chips. He probably doesn’t even know you’re here.” Her hands go to her hips. “Besides, he doesn’t know who I am.”

I stare at her, shocked by the fearlessness in her eyes. “Bea, I’m sorry I can’t explain, but I have to go right now.”

She nods. “I’ll create a distraction, just in case.”

For a second I’m speechless. She can’t actually want to protect me. “No, you can’t.”

The grin on her face is positively impish. “Oh, yes, I can.” Her voice sounds exactly like mine. “It’s my specialty, actually.”

I almost choke on my words. “You don’t get it. Graham … he’s not good, Bea. He’d kill you if he found out.”

“He’s not going to find out.” Her eyes meet mine. “I knew it. You’re trying to get out of your syndicate, huh.”

First Seth and now Bea. “Is it that obvious?”

She shakes her head. “Not to people with average abilities. They don’t know what it’s like to be seen as a tool. How … hollow it makes you feel.”

“And you do?”

She looks down. “We may not work for Juan’s syndicate, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want us. You know how useful a voice contortionist can be; Juan could fabricate any sound with my voice, put out fake threats, trick people over the phone, whatever. He wants our whole family—my dad pays him off every year to keep him away. We may be poor, but it’s worth it.”

“It is,” I whisper. Paying a syndicate to ignore you isn’t new to me. Dad’s brute squad collects dues every month.

“So I’m helping, no matter what you say.”

I get this overwhelming urge to hug her, but I hold back. I never thought anyone else could relate. “Don’t use my voice. He can’t know you’ve seen me.”

She nods. “Go. Tell me you’re safe if you can?”

“Sure.” I gulp down the lump in my throat. “Thanks, Bea. You are—”

She waves me off. “Just go! I get it.”

I head for the exit, knowing I don’t have time to buy food and water like I wanted. I have to get as much distance between Graham and me as possible. He flies fast, and he won’t be at the store forever, no matter what Bea does to distract him.

As I reach the exit, a piercing scream comes from the back. I don’t turn to look, don’t stop. I have to make Bea’s risk worth it.

So I run. I run as hard as I can even though it feels like hell outside.

A few people stare. I hope they think I’m just in a hurry—at least the panic can’t show on my face. I turn onto a quieter street, but keep heading for the desert. I need to get to that run-down group of buildings I saw last week. It’s not much, but it’s shelter and it’s remote, which makes me feel safer.

I only stop when I find a green park, complete with shady trees and, most important of all, a water fountain. I drink until I can’t anymore, and I’m so desperate I fill a crinkled bottle I find on the ground. It might be gross, but I’ll be glad for it later.

Then I huddle under a bush and pull out my new phone. I curse when I realize my service hasn’t been activated yet. I don’t have time to wait around here, but who knows if I’ll get service that far from town?

I make for the desert anyway. My sandals are so not meant for running; I can already feel blisters forming around the straps. Sweat runs down my back. I almost pull my dress off, but it would only help for a second. The sun would soak into my exposed skin, sucking the water out of me faster. I look to the sky every few minutes. Something flickers overhead, and I stop. Squinting into the sunlight, I catch the distinct flap of wings.

Stupid hawk.

But I can’t help wondering if Graham will check the desert. When I don’t show up tonight, will he suspect I’ve made a run for it? Probably. And he’ll be pissed.

When I find the boulder from my first run, I plop down in the shade and pull out the phone, waiting for service. It kicks in just as I’m starting to cool off. Miles doesn’t answer, so I leave a message. “This is Brittney. I need you.”

My phone rings not a minute later.

“I think you should be in counseling, Brittney,” Miles says.

Even his voice isn’t enough to calm me. “Graham’s here.”

He curses. A lot. “Did he see you?”

“No. I ran—I’m out in the desert. I’m gonna stay in this old ghost town I found.”

“I’m coming to get you. You’re not allowed to argue.”

“I wasn’t going to. I called to tell you we’re in Madison, Arizona.” I give him our address and directions to where I’ll be hiding. “I’m sorry I had to drag you into this, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Don’t be sorry. Let me look this up.” The line goes quiet, save the faint tapping of keys. He lets out a soft whistle. “Jeez, Mom sure knows how to find the middle of nowhere, doesn’t she?”

“And yet it’s never far enough.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry, Fi, but you could hop a plane to Mongolia and it still wouldn’t be far enough.”

His words hit me like a baseball bat. This will be my life, and whoever I let in will be dragged into this mess, too. It’s a never-ending nightmare.

“Fiona?”

“How will I ever get away?” I choke back tears. “This is impossible, Miles.”

“It’s not.” He says it so softly I can almost feel the hug that goes with it. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You’re about two and a half hours from me. That’s pretty good luck, all things considered.”

I let out a wry laugh. “Maybe Mom was trying to move closer to you.”

“Hey, maybe. I’ll just tell my boss I have a family emergency. She’ll give me a few days—she totally loves me. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Okay.” The rock’s shadow is getting longer, so I stand and prepare to go. “I need to run more before it gets dark.”

“I’ll find you, sis. I won’t let Graham take you anywhere.”

“Bye, Miles.” I appreciate his words, but there’s not much Miles can do against Graham. Even I have a better chance, since I can at least hide. Miles may be able to give off a nasty skunk scent, but that can only take him so far.

It’s dusk when I reach what seems to be half of an old strip mall. The windows are broken, but it’ll be decent shelter. I scan the horizon, surprised to find yet another structure in the distance. More like the skeleton of something. The desert is weird like that, with its cracked monuments to failed civilization. The call to explore it is strong, but it’s too late today.

I hurry through the first window, hoping to find something comfortable to sleep on before the sun sets. The place is covered in fine red dust. Treading lightly, I keep my eyes on the floor in search of living creatures. The last thing I need is a scorpion friend visiting while I sleep.

It has to have been some kind of convenience store. There are a few intact shelves, sadly empty of Twinkies, which I hear last forever. The counter is still there, except half of it is missing, revealing a dark hole I don’t dare investigate. Other than that, it’s mostly broken plywood and twisted metal.

I brush off a few planks of wood, since that looks like my only option for sleeping, minus the floor. The dust sticks to my skin, giving a faint outline of where my arms are. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but the idea of being seen right now is dangerous. I brush it off as best I can, leaving streaks thanks to my sweat. Hopefully it will absorb and become invisible soon.

My stomach growls, so I search my bag for any remnants of school lunches I might have missed. I manage to find a half-eaten bag of pretzels and a smooshed grape. Yum. I guess I can eat my math book if I get really desperate. I laugh a little—I’d love to explain that to Seth.

The desert is dark, but not pitch black. Starlight shines through the window, and I can’t help but step outside and take a look. The canopy of lights takes my breath away. I’ve seen stars like this before, but the sight never stops making me feel small and unimportant. I like that feeling.

The stars twinkle like rhinestones, which reminds me of my mother. Will she worry when I don’t come back? Or will she run to Dad without a thought? We used to be closer. We’d shop for hours at the most expensive places in Vegas. It’s the only normal thing we’ve ever really done together.

I used to like it. I used to think we were bonding like moms and daughters do. She would clap or smile when I came out of the dressing room, and it made me feel beautiful. But then I started to notice something.

“Those clothes look great!” she’d say.

Not
you
look great. Not
you
look beautiful. The clothes did—I didn’t look like anything. I was just the perfect mannequin.

“What about me?” I asked her once. “Do you think I’m beautiful?”

Mom froze, as if she didn’t know what to say, which said everything. “I don’t know, sweetie, but you shouldn’t worry about it. You don’t have to. Women everywhere would kill not to worry about that.”

I nodded, wishing she’d lied and said I was the most beautiful girl in the world. It was then I realized even my own mother didn’t quite see me as a real person. I was a doll, an empty canvas, something to play with when Dad wouldn’t see her.

I started shopping on my own after that. At grungy places she’d never go to, wearing all sorts of strange things. It almost hurt more that she never got mad about it, never asked why I stopped going with her. She just complimented the clothes, like always.

A different light pulls my gaze from the sequined sky—a flashlight. My heart leaps. Miles! I can’t believe he’d navigate the desert in the dark for me.

Then another light comes into view, and my stomach sinks. Miles wouldn’t have brought anyone with him, but Graham might have enlisted backup. If he was at the store alone, then someone was probably watching Mom for him. What if they are coming to take me back?

I rush inside, stripping as I go.

I have my clothes off in seconds. I’m not sure I should be proud of that skill, but it comes in handy when I need it. Searching for a place to hide my dress, I settle on stuffing it behind the counter. I mentally curse when I remember my bag is sprawled out on the floor. I creep toward it, trying not to disturb anything that could make noise or flare up dust. If I shove the bag under something, no one should know I’m here.

The flashlights cast two distinct beams outside, both growing wider as they approach. Though the light helps me navigate, it also makes my heart thump up my throat. I grab my things as the footsteps grow louder. I pause, confused. There’s more than one pair, but Graham would never touch the ground if he didn’t have to. It’s “beneath him.”

“Do you see anything?” a deep voice calls.

I gasp, dropping my bag in shock. I know that voice, though I can hardly believe it. What in the world is Brady doing out here?

“Uh … nope. Nothing,” another familiar voice says. Seth.

It might not be Graham, but my pulse still hasn’t slowed. I can barely wrap my mind around it. I had no idea they even knew each other, let alone knew each other well enough to run around in the desert together.

“Are you sure?” Brady says. “I thought I heard something.”

I snap out of my daze, grabbing my bag and stuffing it under my plywood bed.

“There it is again. Coming from the building.”

A light shines from the window, and I freeze. I may be invisible, but there’s so much dust in here I have to be careful. I tiptoe to a corner, taking care to avoid leaving footprints, and huddle down just in case.

“It was probably a lizard or something,” Seth says. “If Fiona was here, wouldn’t she come out if she heard us?”

I can hardly believe it—they’re looking for me. But Seth’s wrong. I’m not coming out for anyone but Miles.

“I don’t know.” Brady steps through the broken window, shining his flashlight right over my concealed bag. He doesn’t see it. “Trixy said she sounded terrified of her brother. Fiona didn’t even want her helping because she’d get in trouble, so Fiona might think the same thing about us.”

I smile because he’s right. It’s freaky how he seems to understand me.

“How considerate of her,” Seth says. “Maybe she should have thought about that before coming here in the first place.”

“It is considerate, since she’s obviously trying to escape. There’s no denying it now.”

“You guys are so slow.”

“Shut up, brainiac. You could have told us.” Brady lifts things like they weigh nothing, checking for me. My heart warms at how concerned he seems. It’s probably because Bea’s worried, but it’s still sweet.

“I promised her I wouldn’t.” Seth leans by the window, staring at the ground like he’s completely bored.