Trainwreck: The Women We Love to Hate, Mock, and Fear . . . And Why (27 page)

George Clooney is talented, but he can’t do everything. A lot of people go into making George Clooney look good. These are the people who made me look good.

This book would not exist without Miranda Popkey, who told me to write one, and worked with me on several early chapters. It also would not exist without Taylor Sperry, my editor, who took it on, and edited out the terrible parts. There were some very terrible parts. Thank you, Taylor. Melissa Flashman, my agent, brokered the deal, and is similarly
wonderful. Stuart Calderwood fixed my grammar. Melville House, generally, took a risk on me. Their generosity has been astonishing.

Emily Gould, Clay Shirky, Kate Harding, Andi Zeisler, Irin Carmon, and Lindy West took time out of their day to say nice things about me without being paid for it, so that I could put it on the book and sucker you into buying a copy. Please do not blame them if you did not like this book. I asked them to do it.

All of the women in the “Anatomy of a Trainwreck” sections, with the exception of Marie Antoinette, have published books or essays themselves. I’m deeply indebted to them, and to all the biographers who made it possible for me to study their lives. If you liked any of those sections, please, please seek out and read the work of those women: For all that has been said about them, and for all that I’ve said about them, they still need and deserve to be heard in their own words.

I used to have a Wordpress blog. The only reason I’m not “some person with a Wordpress blog” is that people read it, and linked to it. If you did that: I thank you. If you regret doing that: I understand.

My husband, Brian, took care of the apartment while I stared at my computer being upset about Theroigne de Mericourt. He is an extremely patient man.

My stepfather and my brother have put up with me being
in their family with only minor amounts of complaining. They, too, are very patient men.

My mother stole one of my complimentary book galleys, but gave me twenty-five dollars for it. We then spent it on champagne. Her only request was that I not include anything embarrassing about her in the book. Sorry, Mom!

My mom also took me to a drugstore, when I was six, to buy me a notebook, because I said I wanted to write a book. Her belief that I would actually write one has never wavered since that day.

Hey, Mom: Here it is.

Notes

CHAPTER 1: SEX

“Can we
please
have one fucking day away”
:
“Britney and Kevin: Going Down Above Street Level,”
Gawker
, July 24, 2004.

In 2004, Britney Spears
:
“Britney Spears, Paris Hilton Most Googled,” Ed Oswald,
BetaNews
, December 23, 2004.

Salomon sued her for defamation
:
“Next Legal Tango in Paris Tape Case,”
New York Daily News
, November 9, 2003.

“continuously cough[ing] up semen”
:
“Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset,” Wikipedia.

“It annoys me that so many people assume something”
:
“When Piers Met Paris,”
GQ
, July 23, 2010.

“What is with these twenty-something girls”
:
“Britney Spears Upskirt, Take Two: Now with Virtually Nothing Left to the Imagination,”
Gawker
, November 28, 2006.

In addition to the 2012 “upskirt,” in 2008, hacker Josh Holly
:
“Miley Cyrus hacker faces 13 years in jail after pleading guilty to fraud and hacking charges,”
The Daily Mail
, August 2, 2011.

“For Miley Cyrus to be a ‘good girl’ is now a business decision”
:
“Topless Photo Creates Concern over Disney Franchise,”
New York Times
, April 28, 2015.

“It’s wrong for Miley to have agreed to play the child”
:
“Miley Cyrus Is an Oversexed Trainwreck Waiting to Happen!,”
Hollywood Life
.

SPLIT TRIGGERED BY ANTICS WITH MILEY
:
“Robin/Paula Split Triggered by Antics with Miley,”
TMZ
, February 27, 2014.

“molesting of Robin Thicke”
:
“Stubborn Persistence of Pop,”
New York Times
, August 26, 2013.

“Miley Cyrus practically molested you last night”
:
“Hot Tracks: Robin Thicke,”
Vanity Fair
, November 2013.

“[Cyrus] is a cheap act, no doubt about it”
:
“Miley Cyrus, Steubenville and Culture Run Amok,”
Washington Post
, September 2, 2013.

“I was ready to dismiss the ‘let’s condemn Miley’ parade”
:
“The Verdict on Hannah and the Montana Judge,”
USA Today
, August 29, 2013.

NICKI MINAJ’S BUTT EXPOSED IN SHEER JUMPSUIT
:
“Nicki Minaj’s Butt Exposed in Sheer Jumpsuit During Dublin Concert,” Katrina Mitzielotis,
Hollywood Life
, April 1, 2015.

EVEN NICKI MINAJ ISN’T SURE
:
“Even Nicki Minaj Isn’t
Sure if Her Butt Is Photoshopped or Not,” Jaleesa Jones,
USA Today
, August 10, 2015.

NICKI MINAJ BUTT IMPLANT RUMORS
:
“Nicki Minaj Butt Implant Rumors Are True!,”
Rumorfix
, May 26, 2015.

NICKI MINAJ FIRES BACK AT HATERS
:
“Nicki Minaj Fires Back at Haters Who Say Her Butt Is the Reason She’s Famous,” Sarah Lindig,
Elle
, December 14, 2015.

“a stripper who also knows how to rap”
:
“There Is Nothing Funny or Smart About That Viral Nicki Minaj ‘Parody’ Video,” Caitlin Dewey,
Washington Post
, September 17, 2015.

It was only in 2015, after a good eight or nine years
:
This raises a few questions about gender identity, which I think are important to address. Featuring a non-binary celebrity in a book about how the media treats
women
risks misgendering that celebrity, if only by implication. However, Miley was perceived as female—and therefore treated as female by the media—for most of her time in the public eye. Media misogyny also still impacts her, because some people perceive her body and her gender presentation as feminine. I’ll leave it to genderqueer readers to decide how well I’ve dealt with this complexity, but I do want to be clear that it is my aim to deal with it without consigning Miley to the wrong gender. One of the most maddening things about sexism, after all, is that it somehow manages to punish everyone who is not a cisgender man.

“I don’t relate to being boy or girl”
:
“Free to Be Miley,”
Paper Magazine
, June 2015.

“half the town” and “usurping bitch”
:
“The Vision of Liberty,” as quoted in
The Cambridge Companion to Mary Wollstonecraft
, pp. 180–81.

“much amiss in the head”
:
“Wollstonecraft and Fuseli,” Robert Browning.

“unsexed,” “maniac,” “no sense of guilt,” and “whom no decorum checked”
:
“The Unsex’d Females,” Richard Polwhele.

“scripture, archly framed”
:
“The Vision of Liberty.”

“
Rights of Woman
, which the superficial fancied to be profound”
:
“The Anti-Jacobin Review, and Protestant Advocate: Or, Monthly Political and Literary Censor,” p. 95.

“I wish one moment that I had never heard of the cruelties”
:
“The Love Letters of Mary Wollstonecraft to Gilbert Imlay.”

“William hath penn’d a waggon-load of stuff”
:
“The Vision of Liberty,” as quoted in
The Cambridge Companion to Mary Wollstonecraft
, pp. 180–81.

“Come, from those livid limbs withdraw your gaze”
:
“The Unsex’d Females, A Poem,” Rev. Richard Polwhele.

“Much amiss in the head, Dear”
:
“Wollstonecraft and Fuseli,” Robert Browning.

“The biographer does not mention many of her amours”
:
“The Anti-Jacobin Review,” p. 97.

“Her works will be read with disgust”
:
Quoted in
A Bookshelf of Our Own: Books that Changed Women’s Lives
, Deborah G. Felder, p. 23.

“[Their] advocacy of Woman’s cause becomes mere detriment”
:
“Mary Wollstonecraft and the Critics, 1788–2001, Vol. 2,” Harriet Devine Jump, p. 98.

“This post exists to warn you to be cautious of Zoe”
:
“The Zoe Post,”
thezoepost.wordpress.com/
.

“I
very
much align with SJ [social justice]”
:
“This Guy’s Embarrassing Relationship Drama Is Killing the ‘Gamer’ Identity,”
Vice
, August 29, 2014.

He would casually admit on Twitter that he calculated the odds
:
“Eron Gjoni, Hateful Boyfriend,”
Idle Dilettante
, December 6, 2014.

“cheated on her boyfriend for calculated professional advancement”
:
“Feminist Bullies Are Tearing the Gaming Industry Apart,”
Breitbart
, September 1, 2014.

“Next time she shows up at a conference”
:
“Zoe Quinn’s Depression Quest,”
New Yorker
, September 9, 2015.

“the Internet masses [have] found a new vice”
:
“We’ll Always Have Paris: The Rise and Fall of the Celebrity Sex Tape,”
Slate
, June 24, 2015.

“whore”
:
“Why Must Miley Cyrus and Rihanna Act like Whores?,”
Daily Mail
, October 4, 2013.

“idea of a woman: a cleavage-boosting corset”
:
“What Makes a Woman,”
New York Times
, June 6, 2015.

“sexual titillation for men”
:
“Why Beyoncé shouldn’t inspire feminists, despite her VMAs performance,”
The Independent
, August 25, 2015.

“wearing these stripper outfits onstage”
:
“Stop Policing and Questioning Beyoncé’s Feminist Credentials,”
Mic
, May 17, 2015.

CHAPTER 2: NEED

“The Teen Anti–‘Train Wreck’ ”
:
“Taylor Swift: The Teen Anti–‘Train Wreck,’ ”
PopEater
, September 11, 2009.

“Where’s the romance?”
:
“Taylor Swift in Wonderland,”
Rolling Stone
, October 25, 2012.

“ ‘I wouldn’t wear tiny amounts of clothing in my real life’ ”
:
“Taylor Swift interview: ‘I Won’t Do Sexy Shoots,’ ”
Telegraph
, April 3, 2011.

“You wouldn’t find any naked pictures”
:
Rolling Stone
, October 15, 2012.

“[Swift] isn’t a person who’s going to wake up”
:
“Taylor Swift Gets Some Mud on Her Boots,”
New York Times
, March 15, 2013.

“Honestly, if somebody wants to criticize me”
:
“Five Questions with Taylor Swift,”
Seventeen
, January 20, 2009.

“some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend”
:
“Taylor Swift’s Telltale Heart,”
Vanity Fair
, March 1, 2013.

“Taylor Swift—HAS SHE LOST HER MIND?!?”
:
“Taylor Swift—HAS SHE LOST HER MIND?!?,” TMZ, 2012.

“Taylor Swift Is a Psycho”
:
“Taylor Swift Is a Psycho,”
Thought Catalog
, October 25, 2012.

“Seven Crazy Taylor Swift Girlfriend Moves”
:
“7 Crazy Taylor Swift Girlfriend Moves in 2012,”
The Frisky
, December 20, 2014.

“Bad Seed of music”
:
“Taylor Swift Is an Evil and Cruel Torturer,”
DListed
, October 22, 2012.

“Why can’t I keep a guy?”
:
“Q: Is Taylor Swift Turning Into Jennifer Aniston,”
Stereogum
, January 23, 2014.

“America’s Favorite Spinster”
:
“The Life of the Pity Party,”
New York Magazine
, September 19, 2012.

“the
ex-Friends
star has a habit”
:
“Jennifer Aniston is ‘clingy,’ ”
CelebrityFix
, January 7, 2008.

“Jennifer Aniston’s latest romance”
:
“Jennifer Aniston’s New Man Justin Theroux Seeing His Ex Behind Her Back—Are They Doomed?,”
Hollywood Life
, July 13, 2011.

“Jennifer Aniston is apparently suffering from PTSD”
:
“Jennifer Aniston Forced to Watch Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Having Sex in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’—Freaks Out,”
Celeb Dirty Laundry
, January 27, 2014.

Eighty-seven percent of stalkers are male
:
April 1998 National Violence Against Women Survey,
www.svfreenyc.org/faq_question_40.html
.