Traceless (23 page)

Then she knew exactly what she wanted. To prove she could make him feel again. To prove
she
could feel again. To finally know what it was to be a woman in every sense of the word. Her fingers closed on the snap of his jeans. Her heart thumped hard, making her light-headed and clumsy. A simple button shouldn't have been so difficult to dislodge.

He touched her.
Finally
. He closed his hand over one breast. She gasped, felt the tingle in her stomach and lower, much lower. It felt so good. She renewed her efforts to open his jeans. Had to touch him
there
. She wanted to know every part of him ... to taste and smell him ... all of him. She was like a kid at Christmas, couldn't wait to see what came next.

Pushing her hand away from his fly, he dropped to his knees. She cried out when his mouth closed over that same breast he'd measured with urgent fingers. His mouth was equally urgent; he sucked hard. Her fingers delved into his hair, needing to encourage him. Silky, thick hair, but her senses could not stay focused on one place. The feel of his tongue on her nipple, of his lips curved around her... had her tingling all over. He kissed his way to the other breast, giving it the same treatment as the first. She watched, unable to take her eyes off the way he looked, the sculpted features of his face.

He clamped one arm around her waist to hold her steady against his chest, pulled her legs around him, and lowered her to the ground, coming down on top of her. The friction and weight of his chest against the damp flesh he'd tormented with his mouth had her desperate for more. His fingers tangled in her panties, ripped them from her body. She trembled, felt herself moisten in anticipation of what came next. She denied the tiny flare of fear vying for her attention.

Just when she thought the tension could go no higher, his gaze collided with hers. The tortured look she saw there made her want to cry... made her want to cradle him against her body, inside her body, until the pain and emptiness were gone.

She had to touch his face. He shuddered and hesitation edged into his stark gaze. He went up on all fours, taking his weight off her, pulling away.

No way. She twisted her fingers in his hair and jerked his face down to hers. "I started this; you'll finish it."

His lips flatted with a determination of his own.
Good
. Maybe if he was pissed off, he'd do what she wanted him to.

He manacled her wrist, yanked her hand from his hair, but ensured their lips remained no more than a scarce whisper apart. "Make me," he growled.

Okay. She would. This wasn't some unfamiliar foreign language... this was as natural as breathing. The last of her inhibitions fled as she yanked her hand free of his hold and wrenched his fly open the rest of the way. He groaned. Using her hands and then her bare feet, she shoved the worn, soft denim over his hips. With no briefs in the way, his full erection brushed against her inner thigh. She gasped, suffered another instant of uncertainty. In spite of that trepidation, the heat of his arousal ignited a new ache, this one deep within her womb. He didn't move a muscle even as she lifted her hips in anticipation. She arched upward, rubbed against that solid erection, just barely endured the sweet fiery shock of contact without screaming from the pleasure of it. She'd never known anything could feel so wonderful.

He still didn't move... but it cost him. The price was etched in the stony features of his face.

She was this close to shattering into a million needy pieces at nothing more than the feel of him against her skin. She would be damned if she would fall apart alone. With a fortitude she hadn't known existed, she braced one hand on his shoulder and closed the other around his erection; longing speared through her at the feel of smooth, hot skin stretched taut over hardened muscle. For a moment or two she lost herself to exploring the size and sleekness of him. She lifted her hips again, guiding that hard tip to the spot that burned so insistently. When he didn't thrust, she did, forcing him inside, but only a mere inch. She made a sound too desperate to describe at the exquisite pressure of initial penetration, however shallow. She panted, felt herself stretching to accommodate him. She wanted more.

She clasped his shoulders more tightly, with both hands now, tried to lift her hips higher, but he shifted his own, keeping her from achieving her goal. "Just do it," she urged. "I know you want to." The charge of sensations rushing through her was too much. She needed to hurry.

He stared into her eyes, his cold as ice. "I told you I stopped feeling anything a long time ago."

"Liar." The truth was written in the harsh lines of his face, in the tension vibrating in his hard body. She squeezed that inch nestled snugly inside her.

A guttural sound ripped past his lips.

"You feel that," she challenged. His nostrils flared and something besides the fury burned in his eyes. And in that moment of distraction, she surged upward, going high on her tiptoes. She cried out at the sweet-stinging pleasure.

He caught his breath.

"I know you felt that." She tried to sound smug, but her voice quivered. Her body shuddered with the need to move... to feel the friction of him sliding in and out of her in that ancient rhythm that was printed on their very DNA.

He remained perfectly still. She gritted her teeth to hold steady. The muscles of her legs screamed in protest of the awkward position. But she didn't know any other way to do this, and dammit, she was winning... his entire body trembled violently with his efforts to hold back. That he resisted only made her more determined. God, she needed desperately to move.

"Why?" he demanded.

That single, guttural word made her heart pound harder.

She wet her lips, searched those gray eyes so cluttered with confusion and need... a need he wanted to deny. "Because I want you." Her body hummed with that truth. She needed him... needed to feel this.

His face lined with renewed determination. "I won't do it. Not like this."

He tried to move away, but she stopped him. "This is what I want," she challenged. "If you won't do it, I will."

Then she moved. Up and down, just an inch, then two. Even that little bit felt amazing, made her muscles clench hungrily. She held on to his shoulders... let her body guide her. When she could bear it, she took more of him, each time losing her breath all over again. Biting her lip against the unbearable pleasure, she lowered her hips until nothing but the very tip remained inside those tight, pulsing muscles on fire for more of him. Then she surged upward again, taking as much of him as he would allow. Again. And again. Until the movements were no longer conscious... just instinct... the momentum increasing as her body rushed toward climax. Her first. She hadn't known it could be like this. She was remotely aware of his rigid hold starting to crumble. Felt his resistance faltering. But his denial no longer mattered. Her fingers dug into his shoulders... her body arched higher, took in more of him, when she'd thought for sure she'd reached her limit. And then she couldn't think anymore. She could only feel herself flying apart with the brilliant sensations of sheer rapture.

She collapsed oh the cool dirt, breaking the contact of their bodies. For long seconds she couldn't open her eyes. When she did, the first thing she saw was him watching her melt after having come undone... the cost of restraint devastating his face, thawing the ice in his eyes, and revealing the uncertainty. His damp, rock-hard penis still pulsed with need against her thigh.

"You coward," she choked out between gasps for air.

The uncertainty vanished... replaced by a savage ferocity that stole what little oxygen she'd managed to drag into her lungs. His mouth closed over hers with punishing force. She shoved against his chest as fury exploded inside her. How dare he make her beg... make her practically masturbate using him and then have the nerve to kiss her so greedily like this. She shoved harder at him, used her knees to block his big body from coming down on her. But she wasn't nearly strong enough; he forced his way between her thighs.

"What's wrong?" he growled. "You waited all this time for me to pop your cherry, don't you want me to do the job right?"

Fear and hesitation nudged back into her senses. Screamed at her to get away... that he wanted to hurt her... to make her pay. She told herself she didn't care, but survival instinct kicked in and she sank her teeth into his lip.

He made a ferocious sound, jerked his mouth away from hers. He licked a trickle of blood from his bottom lip. "Afraid you'll get more than you bargained for?"

"Bastard." She tried to slap him, but he was too fast. He caught her arm, rolled her over in one fluid motion, forcing her onto her stomach before he came down on her.

"Scared yet?" he murmured against her ear. "Don't you want it this way? Don't you want to know how it felt for me?" He ground his erection against her buttocks; her body shuddered in anticipation. "You thought I was such a tough guy, but I was just a scared little girl in that fucking prison."

Emotions twisted like a hurricane inside her. He wanted to scare her; that was the point. Wasn't working. Her need and the very desire he wanted to extinguish began to build all over again. She closed her eyes... tried to think of the right thing to say that would somehow make up for what he'd lost... that would soothe that tortured part of him.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. Her breath caught as much on the words as at the feel of him rubbing... stroking that sensitive flesh. Her body was frantic for more of him. Something electric flowed over her skin... vibrated through her muscles.

"Sorry isn't enough," he snapped viciously as the head of his penis grazed the seam of her bottom more intimately, threateningly. Her body convulsed with forbidden pleasure, which he evidently took as fear, since he challenged, his voice cruel, "Say you don't want me and I'll stop right now."

He waited, held utterly still.

The feel of his weight... of his skin against hers made it impossible to think clearly. But there was one thing she knew with complete certainty. "I want you. All of you."

He thrust hard, fully inside her... not the way he'd threatened. She cried out his name as her vaginal muscles clamped around his thick girth, increasing the already unbearable friction. Yes, she wanted him. Dammit. She wanted the contrasting texture of his powerful thighs rasping against her skin... the deep, stretching penetration of him filling her so completely. She didn't want it to stop... she needed it... felt consumed by his strength and power.

His hand pushed between her and the dirt, fingers splayed against her belly, pulled her more tightly to him, sending an arc of sheer pleasure-pain coursing through her as he went deeper still. His lips brushed her cheek as he ground his hips into her bottom. "Had enough?"

She shook her head, tried to open wider for him. He trembled, swore at his own weakness. He straightened, settled fully on to his knees, with her bent forward in front of him. He started to move. The incredible sensation was very nearly unbearable. She urged him on with frantic, whispered pleas until he lost control. The sounds of his desperation made her want to see... to watch him taking her this way and losing total control. His body flexed and contracted with each withdrawal and thrust. The muscles of his abdomen gleamed with sweat... his powerful hands held her hips firmly... his eyes were closed, leaving the whisper of dark lashes against his cheeks.

The desperation fueling each move played out on his face, made her yearn to touch him there even as his movements

became more urgent, almost violent... and then she started to come again. The climax tightening her muscles encouraged him. He roared like a beast... rammed harder... until he couldn't hold out any longer. The ferocity of their synchronized release rendered her helpless and left her shivering with the intensity of the receding sensations.

One strong arm swept around her waist and pulled her up against his chest, sending his still-throbbing erection deeper inside her and stealing her ragged breath. Sitting back on his heels with her nestled in his lap, their bodies still intimately connected... he pressed his face into her hair and fought to catch his breath.

"I wanted to hurt you... and then I just wanted you."

The regret in those softly uttered words was a stark contrast to the way he'd spoken and acted moments ago. But there was nothing to regret. He hadn't given her anything she hadn't wanted... hadn't asked for. The feel of his powerful muscles supporting his weight as well as her own after such extensive physical exertion made her giddy.

She'd come here to tell him that she knew the truth... she hadn't meant for this to happen. Or maybe she had. Maybe she'd needed it... needed to give herself to him this way for reasons she would still be sorting years from now.

She'd made so many mistakes already... what if this was just another? The warm feelings that bonded her to him so fully started to fade. She hadn't considered any consequences for her... or for him. Hadn't thought her intentions through. She'd put him in prison and now she did this? Her parents were right; she did need help.

"I should go." She pushed his arm away and got up. The loss of contact, the feel of him sliding out of her body, was like losing a part of herself.

She grabbed her clothes, haphazardly jerked them on. When she finally looked up again, he'd tugged on his jeans without fastening the fly, leaving that heart-stopping vee that made her foolishly want him again.