Toygasms! (8 page)

With so many choices today, you’ll find all the advice you need in this chapter to narrow them down to your favorites. You can then leaf through a catalog or visit an online sex shop—or take a field trip to a local sex boutique. Some shops display samples outside their packages, perfect for an up-close touch-test—so you can choose the toy that’s got the texture, heft and flexibility (or stiffness) to fan your flames.

Sadie Sez:

Don’t forget, the human hand is one of the best sex toys of all time—yours AND your lover’s.

Porous or non-porous, that is the question. Sex toys made of porous materials (such as latex rubber) can be soft like your skin, but also need to be kept extra clean. If not, bacteria and viruses can live in the tiny openings (pores) on the surface. Porous toys are also known to absorb lube quickly, so you’ll have to apply it more frequently.

Sex toys made of non-porous materials (such as silicone or glass) offer smooth surfaces, and have no pores where germs can hide. This makes them easier to keep clean, however you should always clean your toys after each use. A little lube goes a long way with non-porous toys.

So many dildos, so little time

Silicone.
Among the highest quality dildos, many women love silicone for its lifelike feel and ability to retain body heat. Non-porous and easy to clean (dishwasher safe/top rack!), they can last for years. They’re mostly hypoallergenic, too. Just watch out for cracks or cuts that may develop that can harbor germs. And since silicone cannot be repaired, be prepared to retire your ol’ buddy if he should ever tear.

Latex.
You’ll find latex rubber dildos everywhere, but they also have their limitations. Not as lifelike and firm as silicone, they still serve their purpose well. Be sure to clean up thoroughly, as latex is porous and can harbor germs. People who like this material, but have allergic reactions to latex, might find pleasure in jelly or silicone dildos.

Jelly. A
popular innovation of the nineties, jellies come in a playful array of bright, semi-translucent colors. Jellies are less expensive than most other dildos, a bit more delicate, and porous—so wash them with adult toy cleanser or warm soapy water after each use.

Lifelike.
Soft and fleshy, with a feeling of real human skin, these new-generation materials are a true delight. They require extra care to keep clean because of their porous material, but are well worth having in your treasure collection. Also, store them apart from other toys: when left in direct contact, the composition can degrade.

Acrylic.
Do you like your dildos HARD? Then a plastic or acrylic dildo is for you. They’re easy to clean because they’re non-porous, and enable you to reach your G-spot and anal erogenous zones with an abundance of pressure.

Vinyl.
Basic, reliable and affordable, what vinyl lacks in flexibility it makes up in durability. Available in just a few colors, including a little pink version ideal for anal play, it’s thankfully non-porous and easy to clean.

Glass.
At first thought, glass may seem like an odd choice. But wait till you see what’s available today! Glass dildos come in a wide variety of vivid colors and creative shapes—some with exotic liquids inside that glow in the dark. Built to last a lifetime by the craftsmen who make glass pipes, they’re similar in hardness to acrylics, and designed for both vaginal and anal pleasure. They’re hypo-allergenic, non-porous and dishwasher
safe—and retain warmth and coolness. They’re pricier, but worth every penny.

Metal.
A rare find today for experienced toy enthusiasts and collectors. Cool to the touch, metal dildos slowly warm up with use. Be extra careful moving around with a metal toy inside you, as you can bruise your tailbone or pelvic bone with any quick, jarring motions.

dildo size chart

You can find dildos small as a finger, thick as a neck, or as long as an arm! Choosing the right size depends on your own taste, the capacity of your vagina and how you want to use your dildo. Dildos are measured by thickness (diameter across, not circumference around) and length (base to tip). You can choose a thickness the size of a pencil eraser to over three inches, and a length the size of your pinky to, well, use your imagination!

If you like pressure and fullness inside your vagina, or just clitoral stroking without much thrusting, then four inches long
should be ideal. But if you plan to thrust in and out, and stimulate your G-spot, then go for seven or more inches with a flared base or one with testicles for an easy grip.

Start by looking at what you currently enjoy for penetration, whether it’s a finger, penis, carrot or other handy object. If it’s satisfying, then that measure is a good place to start. You can always upgrade later to a slightly larger size and enjoy a newly enhanced feeling of fullness. But don’t go too wild: a dildo that’s too big can be uncomfortable or painful.

Ready to go for it? Consider this:

Material.
Do you like soft gentle caressing—or a stiffer, harder ride that reaches your G-spot?

Size/thickness.
Start smaller than you think necessary—move up to bigger sizes when you’re ready.

Length.
How deep do you like it? Are you a ‘play-at-the-entrance’ type—or ‘deep thruster’?

Firmness.
If you’ll be enjoying G-spot stimulation, or strapping one on, you’ll usually want a firmer, longer dildo.

Design.
Which floats your boat: realistic, semi-real or smooth? Visit a sex boutique or online retailer for a first-hand look.

Price.
Jelly toys are more affordable, latex is in the middle of the range, and glass and silicone are the highest priced—but also the best you can get!

Face it: there’s a dildo for you. That’s because there are hundreds of shapes and sizes:

Realistic.
Imagine a dildo so lifelike, you’d swear there’s a guy attached to it! That’s because they’re molded from real penises, some of them famous porn stars. They’re designed to offer you incredibly lifelike sensations, including vivid veins, bouncing testicles and kissable skin texture.

Semi-real.
These dildos are slightly scaled down models—offering many of the lifelike anatomical features as above, but without the extremely detailed folds of skin or veins. They tend to be a bit smoother, and can be found with wild designs and non-flesh colors. And with fewer lifelike crevices, they may also be easier to clean.

Smooth. A
smooth dildo only abstractly resembles a penis, often with a perfectly smooth shaft and a head that’s only slightly lifelike. If you prefer texture and friction against your labia and inside your vagina, a smooth surface might not provide enough excitement, but it can be a good starter for first-timers who want a gentle, super-soothing experience. They’re also easy on the eyes.

Abstract.
Not just for artistic expression or playful variety, abstract dildos are often created to get around laws in countries such as Japan, where the manufacture of sex toys that precisely mimic human genitals are outlawed. So take your pick: creative shapes, animals, corn, cucumbers, goddesses, ex-Presidents!