Toxic (12 page)

Chapter 16

Carol was standing just inside the door of the restaurant.

“Good evening, madam. Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes,” she said. “For eight o'clock. Carol Westgrove.”

The waiter checked his book. “Ah yes. A reservation for two?”

“That's right. My—” She hesitated. What exactly was her relationship with Jason? She was damned if she knew. “My friend should be here any time now.”

“Very good. Would you like to wait for your friend at the bar or shall I show you to your table.”

“I'll wait for him at the table, thanks. Could I get a dry white wine?”

Of course. Any preference?”

“Whatever you recommend. Better make it a large one.”

“Very good madam.”

The table, which was at the far side of the dining area, didn't allow her a view of the entrance. She checked her watch; it wasn't quite eight o' clock. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't like this was their first date.

“Thank you,” Carol said to the waiter when he brought her wine. She took a long drink. Dutch courage.  

“Carol.” Jason seemed to appear from nowhere.

“Oh,” She stood up. “I didn't see you come in.”

They exchanged an awkward peck on the cheek before he took the seat facing her.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked.

“I'll just have water with the meal.”

She glanced self-consciously at her wine glass. “I'm only having the one.”

Jason nodded.

Why did she go to pieces every time she was in his company? It was ridiculous. Normally, she was confident and self-assured.

“Have you been here before?” Carol asked.

“Once.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. So typical of the man, and so very frustrating. She'd hoped he might tell her when and with whom he'd dined there previously. But that wasn't Jason's way.

“I've been here a few times.” She was rambling now, but unable to stop herself. “Mostly with Raw. Or a girl friend.” She managed a nervous smile, and tried to focus on the menu. “What are you having?”

“The duck.”

“I'll have the same.”

Jason summoned a waiter with an almost indiscernible nod of the head.

“Anything to drink?” the waiter asked, after taking their food order.

“Water for me,” Jason said.

“Sparkling?”

“Tap.”

“Of course, sir. And you, madam?” The waiter glanced at Carol's wine glass which she was horrified to find was already two-thirds empty.

“No. Thank you. I'm fine. Thanks.”

She looked across at Jason. Was he judging her? She couldn't tell. She could never tell what he was thinking.

“I'm sorry about earlier,” Carol said.

Jason looked puzzled.

“Raw gave you a hard time.”

He shrugged.

“It's just that he's so worried about Todd. We both are. He doesn't know who he can trust.”

Jason put his hand on hers. “It's okay. Your brother doesn't know me. He's right to be cautious.”

She took a sip of wine to lubricate her dry throat. “I didn't tell him anything about you. Just that he could trust you.”

Jason nodded. “Everything will be okay.”

“Do you think it will? Todd, I mean?”

“He's got himself into a bad place, there's no getting away from that. It helps that your brother has money. Without that, Todd would be dead in the water.”

“Is money enough?”

“Maybe. Maybe not, but it definitely puts the odds in his favour.”

The waiter arrived with their food. Carol had no appetite, and could only shuffle the food around on the plate. Jason had no such problem.

“Was that okay for you?” Carol asked.

“Excellent. You haven't eaten much. Are you all right?”

“Fine. Just not very hungry.”

She finished her wine, and wondered if she dare order another.

“Carol?” Jason said quietly.

“Yes?”

“You seem on edge.”

“Do I? Sorry. I just—”

“You weren't as nervous as this the first time we went out together. Is something the matter?”

How long ago was that now? With all the problems with Todd, she'd completely lost track of time. It had been the dinner dance. When was that? Four weeks ago?  Jason was right—she hadn't been as nervous that night. But then, that had been a simple business arrangement. No strings attached. Things were different now. “I'm sorry. I think it's all the worry about Todd.”

“If you'd rather be alone, I can take you home.”

“No. I don't want to be alone.”

“You should try to forget about Todd. Just for a few hours at least. Everything that can be done is being done.”

“You're right. I know. Sorry.”

“And stop apologising.”

“Sorr—” She laughed.

“That's better,” Jason said. “Lacey seems nice.”

“She is. Although she's not at all the kind of girl I expected Raw to end up with. I'm just glad Karen didn't get her claws into him.”

“Karen?”

“A friend of mine—supposedly. She's had the hots for Raw since we were all kids. She was at the dinner/dance. She was the one who had a face like a slapped arse. Let's just say Lacey isn't her favourite person.”

“How did they meet?”

“Raw and Lacey? Now, there lies a tale.”

“That's some story.” Jason said when Carol had finished. “I love Chipmunk Pizza. If I'd known your family owned Chipmunk, I'd have suggested eating there tonight.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Carol said, in a whisper.

Jason leaned forward.

“I absolutely detest pizza.” She looked around. “Just don't tell anyone.”

“I don't suppose you'd like to go away for the weekend?” Carol said, nervously. Just overnight Saturday. We'd be back late Sunday. We could go to Raw's villa in Cannes.”

“I'm sorry. I can't. I have a bout on Saturday night. I mentioned it to you the other day.”

Carol had blanked it out of her mind. It wasn't something she could bear to think about.

“Do you have to? I hate the thought of—”

“Carol. It's what I do. You know that.”

Chapter 17

It was the morning after Suzy's excursion to The Fisherman.

“Hi,” Todd said when Suzy emerged from the bedroom.

Her eyes were barely open. Her hand was clamped tight to her forehead as she shuffled over to the kitchen. After downing a glass full of water, she staggered back to the living room, and slumped on the sofa.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Like shit.”

“You look it.”

“Thanks.”

Ben came in from outside, walked over to Suzy, and jumped onto the sofa beside her.

“Morning, boy.” She rubbed the dog's head.

“Do you want any breakfast?” Todd asked.

Suzy looked at him with dead eyes. “A bucket full of paracetamol.”

“Thanks,” Suzy said when he passed her two tablets. “I'm sorry about yesterday.”

“Forget it.”

“I think I already have. Most of it anyway. I do remember speaking to Lacey though.”

“She okay?”

“She sounded upset. We should have let them know that we were safe.”

“Them?”

“Raw and Carol have been worried too.”

“They should mind their own.”

“I guess. Still, it wouldn't do any harm to tell them where we are now.”

“No!”

“Keep your knickers on. My head's splitting without you yelling at me.”

“Sorry. I don't want them knowing where I am.”

“Why not?”

“It's none of their business. They'll only show up and fuck it all up. We're doing okay here—at least I thought we were.”

“We are. It's all good.”

“Then why yesterday? Why did you just take off like that? I don't get it.”

“I don't want to do this.”

 “You know, Suzy. Until I met you, I thought I was the one who was a total fuck up. Now, I'm not so sure. ”

Suzy's head dropped; she stared blankly at her feet. Ben seemed to sense her hurt, and began to whine and nudge her arm with his head. After a few moments, she looked up, and made a half-hearted attempt to smile at the dog. “I'm okay, boy.”

“You're not though are you?” Todd said. “If you were okay, you wouldn't have run out on us—”

“I didn't run out!” she yelled.

“Felt like that. When we came back and you weren't here, I thought you'd left for good.”

“I wouldn't do that.”

Todd shrugged.

“I wouldn't. I just needed—”

“To get smashed?”

“Time to think.”

“How can you think when you're smashed out of your brain?”

“Who are you to lecture me? You can put away JD like it's going out of fashion.”

“I'm a fuck-up, but at least I know it. You pretend like you're happy, but it's a lie. A front. Just like the orange hair you hide behind. I thought things were different now. I thought we could be ourselves here.”

“Why would I want to be myself?” She began to sob. “I fucking hate myself!”

Todd gently eased Ben off the sofa, sat in his place, and put an arm around Suzy.

“Here.” He passed her a tissue.

Through tearful eyes she turned to face him. “I'm sorry.”

“Come on. You're upsetting Ben.”

The dog was looking up at them with big sad eyes.

“It's okay, boy.” Suzy said. “Want to go for a walk?”

Ben barked his approval.

**********

Todd threw the ball into the sea; Ben charged in after it.

“Where does he get all his energy from?” Todd said.

“Must be the steak I gave him.”

“What?” Todd looked horrified. “You gave him my steak?”

“Just joking. Your steak is perfectly safe.”

“Phew. For a minute there, I thought I was going to have to eat dog food.”

“Come here.” Suzy pulled Todd's head down to her level, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him for the longest time.

“What did I do to deserve that?”

“These last few weeks here, with you and Ben, have been the best of my life,” Suzy said.

“Me too.”

“Are you just saying that?”

“No. I'm deadly serious.”

She took his hand, and they began to walk along the beach—taking it in turns to throw the ball for Ben.

“I'm sorry I got drunk yesterday.”

“Why did you? I still don't really understand why you took off like that.”

“It was when you said we'd
made love
. It's that word.”

“
Made
?”

“No you idiot.
Love
. If you fuck someone, it doesn't mean anything—not really. It's good fun, but that's all it is. Making love—that's a different thing entirely.”

“Haven't you made love before?”

“I don't think so. It's only ever been a
fuck
.”

“What scares you so much about love?”

 “I've seen what so-called love can do. My father supposedly loved my mum, but all he did was knock her around. Since he buggered off, she fucks whoever she wants. It doesn't seem to do her any harm.”

“Is she happy?”

“No idea. She's never sober long enough to ask.” Suzy saw the change in Todd's expression. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You think I'm the same as my mum don't you.”

“I never said—”

“You didn't have to.” She tried to pull away, but he grabbed her arms, and pulled her close to him.

“You aren't your mum. You're you. And that's who I love.”

Suzy stared at him.

“You can't say that! I told you not to say that word!”

“Why? I said it because it's true. And no matter what you think, it's not a bad thing.”

She could barely breathe. She wanted to break free and run away. Instead, she pressed her lips to his.

**********

“What did we just do?” Suzy said.

They were lying next to each other in bed.

“What do you mean?”

“Was that a fuck or did we make love?”

Todd kissed her. “Do you really have to ask?”

“I'm just kidding,” she said. “We still get to fuck sometimes though don't we?”

“You bet. Next time I'm feeling horny while we're in the kitchen, and I take you bent over the table. That'll be fucking.”

“Okay. Just as long as I know. Now, I think you should make me a coffee.”

“After the servicing I just gave you?”

“Excuse me? Servicing? Those aren't the words of love-making. And anyway, I seem to remember I did my fair share of servicing.”

“Toss for it?” Todd said.

“Okay.”

Todd pushed down the sheet, and took hold of his cock.

“Not that kind of
toss
you pervert.” She thumped him on the arm.

“Sorry. My bad.” He reached into the drawer and took out a ten-pence piece. “Heads or tails.”

“Heads, and make sure you let it drop onto the bed. I don't trust you.”

“Your mistrust cuts me.”

“Really? Tough. Let it fall onto the bed.”

“Heads! Yes!” Suzy grinned. “And bring me a Hobnob too would you, babes?”

**********

“I'm so glad you don't dunk your biscuits.” Todd said. “That would have been a deal breaker.”

“God no.” Suzy screwed up her face. “It's disgusting. Lacey used to do it all of the time. It turned my stomach.”

“Serves Raw right.” He laughed.

“What happens when we go back?” Suzy said.

“What do you mean?”

“We can't stay here forever. What happens when we go back to the real world?”

“This is real.” He pinched Suzy's bare arm.

“Ouch! You pig!”

“See, I told you. This isn't a dream.”

“What will happen though?”

Todd shook his head. “Why don't we just stay here forever?”

“I'm not sure the owner would like that. I'm scared that it'll all go back to how it was. You'll go back to the old you, and I'll go back to the
old
me.”

“No you won't, babes.” He laughed.

Suzy kicked him under the covers. “And you'll call everyone 'honey' or 'sweet pie'.”

“Do you realise I haven't had a drink for over a month?” Todd said.

“I almost haven't.”

“And I haven't gambled,” he said.

“Liar.”

Todd stared at her. “I haven't. How can I have?”

“You just tossed to see who'd make coffee.”

“And I lost. Bloody typical.”

“Seriously though. What are we going to do?” she said.

“I don't want to think about it. Not yet anyway. We'll stay here for a few more weeks—then we can make a decision.”