Toxic (Addiction #1) (11 page)

She touched his stubble with her fingers and nodded. “Yeah, you’re pretty, pretty fucking hot,” she said sarcastically.
 

“Ah, and you’re corny as hell.”

She just shrugged and got up to grab an acoustic guitar that was near them. She sat down on a stool and started strumming a familiar tune that he came up with one night when his dad was trying to break down his door to get some more money for his drugs. Even though he came up with the melody of the song she was playing, it was a sound he didn’t want to hear because it was causing bad feelings to pop up from the deep recesses of his mind.
 

Irritation started to form in the pits of his body as Maisy continued to play the song. It was times like this that he wasn’t able to emotionally control himself. Most of the time, he didn’t need to worry about his past coming back to haunt him since he drowned his thoughts in booze and drugs, but since he was currently completely lucid, visions of his dad beating the shit out of him were taking center stage in his mind.
 

“What’re you doing here?” he asked in a harsher tone than he expected.
 

“Had some thoughts I wanted to get down. I thought it would be ok.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Rook said quickly, before she could get up and run away. He didn’t want her to see him lose control emotionally, but for some damn reason he didn’t want her to really leave either. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone else in here, that’s all.”

“I can leave if you want.”
 

“No!” He raked his hand through his hair. “No, it’s okay; you can stay,” he said, a little calmer. Christ, his emotions were all over the place. He took a quick drag from the cigarette that was in the ash tray to calm his raging nerves.

“Alright…”

They looked at each other. The tension in the room was almost unbearable. Why was she so damn gorgeous and how come he couldn’t stop looking into her abnormally big, brown eyes?
 

Rook cleared his throat, turned to his piano and started working on the tune that was running through his head so he didn’t continue to stare at Maisy. He was only asking for trouble if he kept up that kind of behavior. He played a little and then wrote his notes down on his music sheets. While he was playing, he heard a faint strumming in the background that was morphing perfectly with his sound. He played some more while she matched him, strum for strum, key for key.
 

The music they played together calmed his nerves. No longer was he thinking about his horrific past. Instead, he was focused on the present, the music that was flowing through him and the lyrics that were running around in his head. Music was the one thing that could bring him back, that could take him away from the dark abyss his father sucked him into. Music saved him.
 

When he finished, he turned and found her staring directly at him with a surprised look on her face.
 

“You know how to harmonize well,” he said, nodding toward the guitar in her hand.
 

“That wasn’t harmonizing. That tune was rolling through my head all throughout dinner. I had to get it down.”

“Shit.” Rook stood up and paced the room. What the hell was going on? This wasn’t good, she was getting way too damn close. He was inspired by her every time she was in the room, she was writing the same melodies as him and every time he blinked, he saw her face. He needed distance and he needed it now.
 

“I, uh, I’m going to bed.” Rook grabbed his sheets of music and took off toward the door.
 

“Wait,” Maisy said while grabbing his arm and turning him around. “Did I do something wrong? I don’t understand you most of the time. I don’t get why sometimes you’re so kind and caring, but then the next minute you turn into a giant ass of a man.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“What if I do?”

Rook pinned her against the wall, one hand next to her head and the other on her hip. He was rougher than he wanted to be, by no means was he a brute, but he wasn’t gentle either. He hated that he trapped her in his grasp, but he couldn’t help himself, he needed to touch her.
 

Her breathing was heavy as he noticed the way her chest moved up and down, giving him a good look at her perky breasts. She didn’t have any make up on her face, which made her even more beautiful in his eyes. She was clean and perfect, too good for him.
 

“Don’t fuck with me, Maisy. I’m telling you to stay away, so stay the hell away. You don’t want to get mixed up with me. I’m a bitter bastard who has a drugged out father and a hooker of a mother. I have issues that are most likely way beyond your comprehension.”

He took his hand off her waist and was about to move away, but was grabbed by his face with her hands. She ran her thumbs over his lips and then kissed him. His whole body broke out into an acute sweat as she maneuvered her lips across his. She tasted like heaven; she was exactly as he pictured her the first day he saw her in The Tavern; she was an edgy angel.
 

She pulled her head away and looked him in the eyes.

“You would be shocked to know the crap I went through in my life, so don’t give me the busted up family business. You have no fucking clue. If you don’t want me because you don’t find me attractive then fine, but I know that’s not the case, I can see it in the way you stare at my breasts, the way you lick your lips when I’m around and the way you inhale my scent when we are mere inches away. You want me and you want me bad. If you’re too much of a pussy to recognize that, then you’re right, I want nothing to do with you. But, if you’re actually going to step up and be the man I know you are, let me know, because I’m ready to screw your brains out.”

She placed one last light kiss on his lips and then sauntered out of the room. He watched the sway of her ass until she was no longer in sight.
 

Damn.

Chapter 6

The boys were in the private gym the studio provided, trying to get in their cardio before their first concert of the new tour. They went to great lengths to stay in shape, so when they were staying at a place where a gym was provided for them, they took advantage.
 

Due to all the photo shoots and videos they constantly had to be a part of, they all made sure they were in good t-shirt removing condition. Plus, exercise helped them get out all the pent up stress they carried around. Rook was the most adamant about working out, followed by Cruz, Grey and then Landon. That was why Cruz and Rook were still out on their run while Grey was lifting weights with Landon.
 

“Did they go on a ten mile run this morning?” Landon asked, while breathing out his last rep on the bench press. “We did five miles and I was done. I’m surprised I’m able to lift weights.”

Grey laughed at his brother. Landon was cut like every other guy in the band and none of them knew how he did it. He ate like a horse and whined like a little bitch when it came to working out. It must be the drumming, that was the only thing the guys could come up with.
 

“Quit whining. Do you want to be the only flabby, beer-gut-sporting guy in the band?”

Landon lifted up his shirt and patted his six pack.

“No beer gut here.”

“I don’t even know how that is possible with the crap you shovel down your face.”

“Sex and drumming, that’s all I need.”

“Ha! When was the last time you actually got some road choad?”

Landon refused to answer Grey’s question and proceeded to the free weights to do some bicep curls.
 

“Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?” Grey asked hesitantly.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Can you be serious for a second?”

“Not really, but I’ll try,” Landon said with a smirk.
 

Grey blew out an exasperated breath as he sat down on a bench next to Landon.
 

“I need you to swear you won’t say anything to anyone.”

Landon put down his weights and sat down next to Grey. “Dude, you know you can trust me.”

“I know, but this is serious.”
 

Landon’s face grew hard. “You didn’t cheat on Quinn, did you?”

“No!” Grey practically shouted. “Why would you say that?”

Landon got up and started pacing in front of the weights. “It just seems like you’ve been distracted lately and not with the normal band stuff. It’s like someone has caught your attention.”

“Just say it.” Grey could see his brother was itching to get something off his chest.
 

“Fine, you look at Willow as if you want to fuck her with your eyes. If I can see the lust you have for her, then Quinn can sure as hell see it.”

Grey buried his head in his hands. “Shit. I’m so screwed.”

“Did you cheat on Quinn?” Landon asked harshly.

“No, damn it. How many times do I have to tell you that? I haven’t done anything with Willow. But…” Grey looked around to make sure no one else could hear their conversation. “I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about her. I can’t get her out of my head. Every time she is around me I get an instant hard-on and it won’t go away until I relieve myself. I don’t know what to do.”

Landon saddled up close to Grey and said, “Job number one is to keep your mouth shut about this. You know if Quinn found out about what you’ve been thinking, she would lose her mind. She is already self-conscious about her body and when Willow and Maisy came along she almost slipped back into her old ways…”

“Wait, she told you that?” Grey asked, confused as to why his girlfriend was talking to his brother and not him.
 

“Why the hell would she tell you when she sees the way you look at Willow?”

“Shit, this is bad. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well stop staring at Willow; that might help.”

“I’m trying, man. It gets worse.”

“How so?” Landon asked hesitantly.
 

“Last night, Quinn took me to the bathroom to help blow my load and the whole time…”

“Don’t tell me you thought of Willow.” Grey dropped his head in shame. “Damn it, Grey. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re a lucky dickhead who has the most amazing woman by your side and then some blonde bassist comes along and you lose your mind?” Landon lifted Grey’s head so they were looking each other in the eyes. “She’s nothing, Willow is nothing to you. Your life, your soul rests in Quinn. Don’t fuck it up because a fine ass with sweet tits walks in the room. You’re better than that.”

Grey shook his head in agreement and walked back over to the bench press while Landon picked up his hand weights. It was unspoken between the two of them that the conversation they just had was over and to never be brought up outside the two of them.
 

As Grey lifted the heavy bar up and down from his chest, he thought about what his brother said to him about Quinn. Quinn had been Grey’s life ever since he could remember. They had been together ever since high school. They had been through thick and thin together, from her being hospitalized to all the cheating lies the media threw at them. They knew each other inside and out, made each other laugh and shared a life together, but was that enough?
 

He loved Quinn, but he never felt like he was breaking out in a cold sweat around Quinn, or he was going to instantly explode in his pants when she walked in a room like when Willow walked in. Were his feelings for Willow just pure lust? Or was there something behind the urge to want to be with her? Was there something more that he was missing with Quinn? Would he hate himself if he never ventured to find out?

One thing Grey knew for sure was that he would hate himself if he ever hurt Quinn.

***

Maisy stood backstage with her two best friends, bandmates and the only people she ever considered family. This was it, they were about to go on stage for the first time on a professional tour. It happened so fast. A week ago they were carting around their own equipment in a worn out van that had seen better days in the eighties. Now they had roadies to set up their equipment, a band manager giving them advice and a stylist to make sure they all looked good together.
 

Willow was wearing a pair of tight dark jeans, brown boots, a white tank top and long necklaces. Kaid was wearing similar jeans but allowed more room in the crotch, yellow shoes and a thick leather wristband. He looked hot. Maisy was wearing worn out flower jean shorts that were cut high on her thighs, a white tucked-in shirt, brown belt and brown ankle boots. Quinn put a head band around Maisy’s head again that swept across her forehead. Quinn said it was going to be Maisy’s trademark. She was fine with it; as long as she got to play her music for millions of Shattered Souls fans, she didn’t care what she wore.
 

During the whole day leading up to the concert, she blocked out everything that had to do with Rook and focused on herself and her bandmates. They had a rehearsal in the morning and nailed all their songs, points on stage and interludes between songs, they were ready.