Toxic (18 page)

Dawson didn’t look convinced. “Is that what he told you? Because he’s with her tonight at the Rockefeller Foundation Benefit.”

I gaped at him. “How do you know that?”

Dawson furrowed his brows. “See for yourself. It popped up in the news feed on my ride to your office.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped a few buttons. Then he handed it to me.

Right there on Page Six was a picture of Jeremy walking into the event with Avery beside him. Tension filled every muscle in my body as I found myself wondering again if there really wasn’t something more to the two of them. Contrary to what Jeremy had said, evidence seemed to prove otherwise. I thought about what he had said for a moment, and realized he hadn’t denied they were seeing each other. I might not have had the right to care, but I did. I cared a lot. How dare he ask me to consider starting something with him when he was involved with someone else?

Dawson’s eyes met mine. He had to see the sadness that lingered there. But if he did, he ignored it and kept talking. “I looked into what he’s been doing. The new money he brings to New York comes from his business. Jet Set is very successful, I agree with you there. But I have to caution you, there’s a big difference between what he’s done and what you want to do. He purchased successful businesses and left them intact. He manages them from a bird’s-eye level.”

I gave him a questioning look.

Annoyance plagued him. “Phoebe, he checks on them, but doesn’t get involved in the day-to-day operations. What you want to do is build something from the ground up and manage it under the hotel’s structure. It’s not the same.”

My phone rang again and again I ignored it. “I know,” I said, feeling exasperated. “That’s why it’s so very important to find the right people to run the clubs. They have to have experience.”

“Have you found them yet?”

“No. Not yet.”

Dawson shook his head.

The truth was—I didn’t have those contacts. Jeremy did and he hadn’t been around this week. I averted his stare and glanced out the window. We were in the Meatpacking District and had just passed the Rose Bar. My mind wandered. I wondered when Jeremy had gotten back. I wondered why he was out with Avery. I wondered about his business. Was Dawson right? Was he successful because he bought successful businesses? What did that mean for TSC?

As we pulled up to Morimoto, my confidence over my decision to move forward with this new venture, not only the one for TSC, but for myself as well, started to wane.

The car door opened and Dawson and I went inside. Once there, neither of us spoke of Jeremy again. I also didn’t bring up my thoughts on moving on because I think Dawson saw it in my eyes when he brought up Jeremy’s name.

We had a few drinks and ate dinner. Dawson kept the conversation light at first, telling me about his five-year-old niece, Elise, who had arrived in town earlier this week with his sister. He loved her and animatedly told me what they had been doing together. I adored her. Then he told me what brought his niece and sister back to the city. Blaine had always hoped to move back to New York one day but her husband loved living in London. It seemed they had come to a crossroads and were divorcing. I was shocked. We spent the rest of the evening talking about his family.

Before we left, I used the ladies’ room and checked my phone. My mother had called and Jeremy had called three times. There was a text message from him as well. He had sent it two hours ago. It read:

Where are you?

I’d call my mother tomorrow. But Jeremy I would call when I got home. Jealousy burned through me. Why was he wondering where I was when he was out with someone else? I had to suppress it. I had to take the best course of action. I had a couple of them in mind. I could call him back and invite him over. I could ignore him. I could send him a link to his photo. In the end I sent him a quick text, deciding I’d call him later.

Me: I’m out for the night

Him: I want to see you.

Me: Two women in one night? I think that’s a bit much.

It was snarky. I shouldn’t have sent it. I knew I shouldn’t have. He could go out with whomever he wanted. I hadn’t told him yes. Yet, I felt like something was tugging at my heart at the very thought of him with someone else. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I knew what I was going to say to him. I was going to tell him the truth.

I glanced at my phone. He hadn’t responded. There was a chance the truth wouldn’t have mattered. My nagging jealousy may have stolen the deal off the table. I shoved my phone into my purse, and then went to tell Dawson I was ready to leave.

It was still early when his car pulled up to my apartment. I turned to say good night to him but he was getting out behind me. He walked me about halfway to the lobby door.

“Phoebe,” he said, taking my hand.

I stopped and turned around.

“I’m going to say good night here. But I want you to know I’m always here for you. And I hope you know I’m only trying to help you. I’m worried about you, not just TSC.”

I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. “Thank you for everything.”

He held me for a long time before he looked at me and kissed me one last time.

We both knew this was really good-bye.

Then he turned around and started for his car, but he stopped. “Don’t forget to send me a proposal. If your plan is as solid as you believe it to be, I’d like a chance to invest.”

“I will.” I smiled, thankful the friendship we had built over the years might still be in place.

I watched him walk to his car feeling the same as I had a week ago—knowing I made the right choice, but still heartsick over it.

In a daze, I turned back around and walked toward the door. The door opened and when I looked up expecting to see Jack, Harry, or the new doorman, whose name I still didn’t know, it was intense blue eyes I was staring into.

It was him.

“Jeremy,” I said and my body started to tremble. “What are you doing here?”

He looked as he had the morning I awoke in his loft. Removed. Uncaring. Hard. “I came to explain what you had seen but it looks like I didn’t have to.”

His tone was harsh.

His stare harsher.

“Jeremy, it’s not what you think.”

But he wasn’t listening. He was walking away.

“Jeremy,” I called frantically.

“I’ll call you Monday. I found three managers for the clubs,” he said over his shoulder.

My heart sank. I wanted to run after him but my legs felt too weak. And then before I knew it, he was in a taxi and gone.

“Oh darling, come with me. I think we need to talk.” It was Mrs. Bardot and she was standing just inside the door.

I walked into the lobby and across the marble floor. The air smelled of flowers and I glanced over to see a bouquet of peonies set on the table between the two leather chairs that were placed near the doorman’s desk.

Mrs. Bardot picked them up along with a brown-handled grocery bag and handed them to me.

I gave her a questioning look.

“They’re for you. From your James Dean.”

Tears filled my eyes and my stomach dropped.

“Come along, dear,” she said, and pressed the elevator button.

I followed her but an unbearable emptiness had opened up inside me. “I have to go after him,” I managed to say.

She stepped into the elevator and held the door. “I think you could use some advice first.”

She seemed to know what she was talking about and so I boarded the elevator with her. It was going down. The doors opened seconds later and we were facing the wine cellar. The room was small with chilled wine lockers, a leather sofa, two chairs, and a fireplace, which was surprisingly burning.

She took a set of keys from her purse and opened a locker, pulling out a Chateau Latour 1982. She collected the most sought-after vintages.

I plopped in a chair and watched as she skillfully uncorked the bottle and poured us each a glass.

She offered me one and then she sat in the chair beside me. “Glorious,” she mused as she took the first sip.

I took a sip as well. Then I was surprised to enjoy the wave of fruit that hit my senses. I always drank white wine, but the taste was worthy of competing with my very favorites.

“Your James Dean was waiting at your door when I brought him to the lobby for a chat. I have to say, I was surprised that he opened up to me.”

I blanched. “He talked to you about me?”

Not that I really minded. It was just so not like him.

She took another sip of her wine. “He did, but then again I do have a way with brooding men.”

Even through my heartache, I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“But actually, my mention of a part I had in a James Bond movie once helped.”

I offered her an even bigger smile.

She grew serious. “I want to caution you about jealousy, Phoebe. It’s toxic. It can tear relationships apart. Trust me, I know. In the height of my acting career, I met one of my two great loves. We were inseparable. Then he took a part where he had to film in Paris and I couldn’t join him in my beloved city. He was starring opposite a beautiful unknown actress and my insecurities ate at me. Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Loren, or even your Audrey Hepburn, I wouldn’t have worried about them. I knew they weren’t women he’d be interested in. But new blood, that was different. I couldn’t be there with him so I called nonstop. Asked others on the set if he was spending time with her. Questioned him about her. Made him tell me how he felt after he filmed romantic scenes with her. My jealousy strained our relationship. I started to see things that weren’t there. Even after he came back, I accused him of cheating on me with the next woman he starred opposite. Six months later, he broke up with me. He couldn’t take it any longer.”

I set my glass down and picked up the flowers. “That’s not what Jeremy and I are about. It’s more complicated than that.”

“I’m sure it is. But tonight he told me he was coming here to make sure you understood you were the one in whom he was interested. You must have made him doubt that you believed that. Then he sees you with your ex-fiancé and his own jealousy overtakes him. That’s the thing with jealousy—it festers and builds until there is nothing left.”

I sighed, and inhaled the scent of the flowers. “What can I do about it? I can’t help how I feel.”

“My advice to you. Show him he’s who you want and do your best to accept what he tells you about these other women in his life.”

My head snapped toward her. “He told you about Kat?”

She shrugged. “He actually said very little. I didn’t know either girl’s name. All he said was that he didn’t know how to make you believe him. Look in the bag. He told me he hoped that would do it.”

I opened it up. Inside were two DVD sets—the complete library of James Bond and the complete library of Audrey Hepburn. There was also a box of microwave popcorn. I was sure it was his way of wanting to reconnect. It was twenty questions brought face-to-face.

I pulled out the movies.

She took another sip of wine.

“Both of our favorite movies.”

She smiled. “Your James Dean has a temper. All men with tempers need a cooling-off period. So here’s what you’re going to do . . .”

The Start of Something Great

Usually strapless black dresses made me think of prom.

The one I was wearing definitely did not. I looked in the mirror as I zipped it up. The expert draping and structured shape of Mrs. Bardot’s vintage Chanel totally elevated the silhouette. The low U-neck added a little sauciness, making the piece both elegant and flirty at the same time. Mrs. Bardot also lent me the most spectacular little black lizard clutch. My own studded Manolo Blahnik ankle-strap heels added some additional edge to the otherwise all-black look.

Mrs. Bardot touched my bare skin with her finger. “You’re practically sizzling, my dear.”

I had to admit, the plunging strapless confection totally raised the bar on LBDs. “I love this dress.” I looked around her closet. “I love all of your dresses.”

“Come over to browse anytime. I have something for every occasion. And you keep that one.”

I swung my hips and watched the way it swayed with my movement. “I couldn’t possibly.”

“You can and you will. In fact, I’ll send some others over this week. This old body is never getting in some of these again. And you can’t turn me down when empty closet space gives me a reason to go shopping.”

I gave her a hug. “Thank you.”

“Nonsense,” she said. “I’m just glad I can share my things with you.”

I picked up my leather jacket and bag. “Here goes nothing.”

She walked me to the door. “Let’s hope, here goes something. Now hurry along, I have my own young man waiting for my attention this evening.”

She was one of a kind.

I laughed and pressed the
DOWN
button.

Logan was waiting for me in his car downstairs. I was nervous and felt more at ease riding with him to Pier 60. He was a huge video gamer in his day and I reached out to him this morning to see if he was attending the launch party. Of course he was. He’d already gone to the West Coast release and had a blast. When I asked him if he could snag me an invite, he insisted I go with him. I didn’t argue.

Mrs. Bardot’s plan included not only me still going to the launch but also going after what I wanted. “It’s the grand gestures that really matter,” she insisted.

I didn’t know if Jeremy would think my attendance was a grand gesture, but I was willing to try. I had texted him last night that I was sorry and again in the morning but he didn’t respond. My hope was that he would still show up.

I had to believe he would.

We arrived to a mass of photographers, press, and guests. Logan hated press as much as I did and we slipped easily in the back door.

The high ceiling and huge windows provided a beautiful view of the Hudson River. Large black partitions formed a maze of corridors in the large space and inside each cubicle were two swivel chairs, a TV, and of course, a console gaming system. Logan ducked in the first unoccupied one he found.

I opted to pass.

I had to find Jeremy.

I walked the perimeter of the room. I was overdressed but I didn’t care. I wanted to look my best for Jeremy.

The daylight was slowly easing down over the horizon and dusk was approaching. The colors in the sky were magnificent shades of blues and purples. They caught my attention. The simple beauty of a sunset was something I hadn’t admired in so long.

The outer corner of the maze led to a set of doors and I opened them, yearning to see the skyline with its unobstructed view. The terrace was crowded but as soon as I set foot on it, my eyes landed on him.

Him.

My pulse quickened at the sight.

He was standing near the outdoor bar, casually dressed in a pair of distressed jeans that rode low on his hips, a plain blue T-shirt, and a navy baseball hat worn backward. He was wearing sunglasses and he hadn’t shaven. There was a glass of liquor in his hand that looked like it hadn’t been drunk.

He looked sexy as hell.

I knew the minute he noticed me.

The current that traveled between us was electric.

He took his sunglasses off and his eyes devoured me. They were intense, raw, and oh so blue. He lifted his gaze and our stares collided. Just then, there was nothing between us. No barriers, no issues, nobody else but him and me.

My heart beat wildly and I mouthed, “Hi.”

“Hi,” he mouthed back and then he smiled a smile that was wide enough to highlight his dimples and told me so much.

I melted.

Mrs. Bardot was right; a cooling-off period was wise.

He was talking to Harvey Majors. An enigmatic man, Harvey was the most socially connected thirty-something in Manhattan. His ties ran from old money to new. He made a job out of networking.

Jeremy was going after the right man to help him grow his business—that was for sure. I wondered if I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever deal he was working. I realized then Jeremy wasn’t attending these functions to socialize—he was networking, growing his business, becoming more successful by the day.

Just looking at him, I could see the power he held. He was building his empire and if things worked out, I’d get to see him do it.

Harvey nodded when Jeremy next spoke, and then Jeremy held his hand out. They exchanged a few more words and he set his glass down. His eyes were hypnotic as he strode my way. The hungry expression on his face grew more ravenous with each step and my pulse raced with excitement.

I couldn’t help but watch the way he moved. I loved how he walked. I loved the look on his face. I loved how I felt in his presence.

Whoa
.

Except the closer he got, the more nervous I became. What if he didn’t want to talk to me? Maybe I was misreading him. What if he was coming over to tell me to leave? I was twisting my butterfly ring by the time his body was in front of mine.

God, he smelled so good.

“I was going to call you later tonight,” he said very matter-of-factly.

I couldn’t judge what he meant. “I didn’t want to wait.”

His eyes looked me up and down again in the most blatant way and the heat in his gaze was almost too much to bear. “Let’s talk,” he said and took my hand.

I nodded. Heat flowed through my veins. I was on fire.

He, on the other hand, seemed cool as a cucumber as he led me to the railing and casually leaned against it, taking in the very last of the sunset.

“Jeremy,” I started to say.

He pulled me close and looked right into my eyes. “I’m not sure what last night was about but I’m not seeing Avery.”

The last thing I wanted to talk about right now was Avery. Red lips was getting on my nerves.

His fingers dug into my hips. “She arranged for me to meet with her brother before the event but my flight arrived late and I was in a rush to get there. I didn’t want to call you when I was in a hurry. Her brother was interested in Jet Set membership for his entire men’s club and it was a big deal. I had to go. She met me outside and we went in together. That was it. Then I talked to Theo and I called you as soon as I left.”

I stepped into him, closing the distance between us.

We were close.

So close.

“I believe you,” I whispered.

His grip at my hips tightened. “Good.”

Delighted, I held my grin. “There’s nothing going on with Dawson and me either. My father had called him and he wanted to talk to me about what he had to say. That’s it.”

My hands slid up his chest.

“I believe you.” He grinned.

I eyed him carefully. “You do?”

“I do. Now where does that leave us?”

He always made things seem so simple.

He always had.

“Us?”

“Yes, us. You and me.”

I loved the sound of that.

“Yes,” I blurted out.

His eyes darkened. “Yes what, Phoebe?”

Ripples of desire moved through me. “Yes, I want to see where you and I go.”

He pulled my body flush to his and stared into my eyes. A wave of arousal went right to my core when he smiled at me salaciously.

“You look fucking amazing.”

His raspy voice carried such a sexual cadence to it that my cheeks started to burn. “I wore this dress for you.”

He leaned even closer. “Good, because I want to fuck you in it.”

I swallowed at the deliciousness of his naughty words.

Although the place was packed, Jeremy still searched our surroundings. “Right now.”

“Here?” A thrill ran through me.

He nodded. “Yes, here.”

“Where?”

Challenge danced in his eyes.

We always had a hard time waiting—time hadn’t changed that.

I bit down on my bottom lip, unable to argue.

I wanted that too.

“Come with me,” he growled.

It had been five long years and I didn’t hesitate to obey his command.

He led me through the maze. The deeper we got, the darker it became. Open ropes indicated the cube was unoccupied. We wove our way deeper into the core but they were all taken. We were almost to the middle when two guys exited one of the makeshift gaming rooms.

Jeremy closed the rope and tugged me inside the curtain. The TV glow was our only light. It didn’t matter that the room was small. I had burned for this man for so long, I didn’t care about anything but him and me.

“I need you right now,” he said in a husky voice.

“I need you too.” My voice was weak, raspy, and full of desire.

He looked down at me with smoldering eyes, and then his lips were on mine.

Finally.

As soon as our mouths came together, something unleashed and his calm exterior was gone. His hands were on me—everywhere. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to feel you again?”

I knew. Oh, how I knew.

My lips parted as soon as I felt the brushes of his velvety smooth tongue against them. I too had waited for this moment for so long. “Jeremy,” I breathed, unable to say anything else.

His mouth.

It was finally on mine and it felt so good. His lips were soft. And the passion that had been building between us exploded as we finally connected in the most carnal way.

With whispered breaths he groaned, “I want to feel every single inch of you.”

“I’m yours,” I moaned.

His hands were clasping my face. Mine were around his neck. We were kissing frantically. Our tongues clashed, our lips moved in sync, and our breathing was labored.

God, he tasted so good.

In an instant, he tugged my dress down with one pull and exposed my nipples. Another piece of Mrs. Bardot’s advice had been stockings, no further undergarments. I didn’t have the whole garter belt and thigh highs so I went for hose. Still, at that moment, I was glad for the advice.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he connected with my bare skin, and then his soft mouth closed around my nipple. I was frozen to the spot as electricity shot through my body. My eyes closed and my head tipped back in dizzying arousal. As he sucked at me harder and harder, I could feel myself growing wetter and wetter.

He felt like I remembered, but even better.

The real thing was so much more than I had ever dared to recall.

I wanted to run my fingers through his hair but his hat was still on, so I took it off and fingered his soft silky locks.

When he moved to my other nipple, I wanted to do more. I wanted, no needed, to feel his cock in my hands.

My fingers skimmed down his firm chest and over his taut abs and then I pressed my palms against his denim-clad cock. He was hard and he groaned so loudly when I touched him, I was certain the cubicles on either side of us could hear.

It surprised me that I didn’t care, but I was too lost in him.

My touch seemed to unleash the beast in him. His hands darted under my dress and frantically roamed for access to my core. The feel of his touch caused my heart to beat so wildly in my chest, I felt it skip a beat or two. He hissed as soon as his fingers grazed my core and the sound was music to my ears.

Then his lips were back on mine and as he pressed his fingers to me, he shuddered. I did too. He tried to push his hands under the elastic band of my hose, but when it seemed to be too much of a burden, he simply tore a giant hole. Without falter, his fingers sought out the treasure he had been searching for and he groaned loudly as soon as he discovered I was bare there as well.

We were frantic for each other—time hadn’t done anything to quash what we felt physically for each other. In fact, it had only fanned the flames and the fire was bigger than ever.

With burning need, I unzipped his jeans and his beautiful cock sprang free. My fingers were trembling as I tentatively touched his tip and my pulse practically exploded.

But then two things happened that made me pause.

First, I was momentarily overtaken by the sudden awareness of how wet I was.

Wetter than I’d ever been.

Second, small fissures of desire seemed to radiate from my core and made me gasp in pleasure.

Before I could regain any small semblance of composure, Jeremy dropped to his knees and started trailing openmouthed wet kisses down my bare stomach. My heart zipped around my rib cage and I inhaled sharply as soft, velvety smooth strokes lapped around my clit and an even more intense tingling radiated from my core.

Oh God, that mouth.

That tongue.

The feeling was so intense, my fists clenched and I moaned from the sheer pleasure that was exploding through every nerve in my body.

Jeremy’s mouth was like magic. He licked, sucked, and lapped my pussy as he kept me on the edge.

I wanted to fall off it and stay there forever at the same time. The feeling was just that good.

But then he inserted a finger inside me and stroked it up in such a way that I could feel every inch of him inside me. Up and down he moved it. Again keeping me just on the cusp.

“Jeremy,” I gasped. “Please.”

At my words, he inserted another finger and in harmony his mouth and hand moved together. The first wave of an orgasm started to flood me at that very moment and it was so strong, I had to grip his shoulders for support. The feeling was so intense that everything around me went blank. All I saw was light shining everywhere. I bit my lip to contain my moans as my body clenched in pure pleasure.