Toward the Sound of Chaos (24 page)

Ellie

Eight
months later

 “
L
et
me take it,” Jake says, and I shoo him away as I carry the tea tray out onto
the front porch.

“I
got it.” I wrench it out of his grasp, and the pitcher of iced tea wobbles as
if it might fall. I stand still long enough for him to snatch the tray up and
set it down beside my chair. “I just said I got it, didn’t I?”

“I
wouldn’t argue with her, Jake. She don’t like to be sassed,” Spencer says, and
I shake my head.

“Men.”
I throw my hands up in exasperation.

“Well,
your mamma may not like to be sassed, but I don’t care for her being stubborn,
so she’s gonna listen or I’m gonna pick up the phone and call her doctor,” Jake
says, and tosses the ball to Spencer.

“Well
I gotta do something or I’m gonna wind up looking like an overfed cow now that
I’m no longer working the salon,” I say, fed up with this whole thing.

I’d
closed Big Bama Hair when we moved into Jake’s, but I’d also heard that Rachel
Redgrave was looking to sell her salon downtown, and it had just seemed like a
smart investment. I mean, for one thing, all those women were about to lose
their jobs, and for another, Mr. Williams had left us enough money to send
Spencer to college three times over and ensure I was a kept woman, but I
couldn’t sit still long enough to put my feet up. Not working hadn’t really
been an option for me—much to Jake’s annoyance.

Not
that he can really talk. He works with Olivia full-time now. The expansion had
grown the entire organization, and people came from all around to adopt her
dogs and participate in the training program. On top of that, Jake also runs
weekly Tuesday meetings for Combat PTSD Survivors. It’s the only one like it in
two counties and is desperately needed. He hasn’t seen a nightmare in nigh on
two months, which is progress. And Spencer and Nutters? Well, nothing holds
those two boys down.

We
had a hell of a fight with the school board trying to get approval for a dog on
the premises, but after one week’s trial, every one of Spencer’s teachers said
he was less disruptive to the class, the meltdowns were fewer, and the other
kids were socializing with him more too. We haven’t managed to get him into any
sort of team sports yet, but I’m not holding my breath for that one. While the
rest of this town might be football obsessed—Roll Tide—my boys are happier
avoiding the noise and chaos of the Friday night lights and tossing the ball
back and forth in our own front yard.

“Spence,
go long,” Jake says, as he swings his arm back and waits for Spencer to move to
the opposite end of the yard. He lobs the football, and that’s all I see before
I’m swept up in a honeymoon hold.

“Let
me go, Jake Tucker.”

“Not
on your life, angel.” He eases me onto the front porch swing and leans down to
kiss me. “Not even if you ask me nicely. Put your feet up, Elle. I ain’t gonna
tell you again.”

“You
are not the boss of me, Tucker.”

“Wanna
make a bet?” He grins and whistles to his dog. “Nuke. Guard.”

“That
is not fair,” I complain, as Nuke jumps up on the loveseat beside me and barks
in my direction. “Fine, I’m putting my feet up, but you can make dinner.”

“Done.
Spence,” he calls over his shoulder, never once taking his eyes from me, “pizza
alright for you, buddy?”

“Hell
yeah,” Spencer says, slamming the ball on the ground as if he just scored a
touchdown.

“Hey,
watch your mouth, mister,” I warn.

Jake
pulls a stool over and picks up my legs one at a time, gently placing them on
the poufy cushioned seat. “You move and your ass is mine tonight.”

“You
know that’s not much of a deterrent,” I say, attempting to heft myself out of
the love seat. “I think I’ll get up and make dinner.”

“Don’t
tempt me, Elle.” Jake gently pushes my shoulders down and gives me one of those
lopsided grins. He pats Nuke on the head, and then squats down in front of me.
Jake presses a beautiful, scarred hand to my overly large belly. “Okay, princess,
I’m gonna level with ya. Your mother is kind of a pain in the ass, so I’m
giving you permission to kick her if she budges. That’s an order, Marine.”

She
moves, her tiny foot kicking the palm of his hand. I swear on all things holy
I’m growing an Olympic swimmer in here. Guess I shouldn’t be all that
surprised, considering she was conceived on the pier beach during our date that
night because we couldn’t wait until we got home.

“Traitor,”
I tell them both.

“That’s
my girl.”

“Come
on, Jake,” Spencer whines.

“Nuke,
eat her if she moves.”

The
dog beside me whines, and I ruffle his ears as Jake bounds down the stairs
towards Spencer and Nutters. They throw the ball around some more as the sun
sets behind the trees. I pick up the jug and pour a little iced tea in my
glass.

“What
do you think, Nuke?” I ask between sips. “Should we keep him?”

“Woof.”

“Yeah,
I think so, too.” I stroke Nuke’s fur and watch my boys, and I can’t believe
how lucky I am. It’s been a long, hard road for all of us, but it just works—Jake,
me, Spence, the dogs, and soon a little girl.

My
husband may not be perfect, and things may not always be easy between us. There
are some very black days where we fight and scream, or he retreats into
himself, and there are times when I’m frightened he might turn to the bottle
again, but he made me a promise eight months ago and I trust that he’ll stick
to it. I won’t change that man for anything, because our love may be chaos but
I’d rather run toward it than run away.

There’s
no bravery in running away, but there can be in surrender. Sometimes to
surrender to someone else’s chaos is the bravest thing you can do.

Carmen
Jenner is a thirty-something,
USA TODAY
and international bestselling
author of the Sugartown, Savage Saints, and Taint series.

Her
dark romance, KICK (Savage Saints MC #1), won Best Dark Romance Read in the
Reader’s Choice Awards at RWDU 2015.

A
tattoo enthusiast, hard core lipstick addict and zombie fangirl, Carmen lives
on the sunny north coast of New South Wales, Australia, where she spends her
time indoors wrangling her two wildling children, a dog named Pikelet, and her
very own man-child.

A
romantic at heart, Carmen strives to give her characters the HEA they deserve,
but not before ruining their lives completely first … because what’s a happily
ever after without a little torture?

Stay
up to date with Carmen’s latest works at:
http://www.carmenjenner.com

Welcome
to Sugartown (Sugartown Series #1)

Enjoy
Your Stay (Sugartown Series #2)

Greetings
from Sugartown (Sugartown Series #3)

Now
Leaving Sugartown (Sugartown Series #4)

KICK
(Savage Saints MC #1)

TANK
(Savage Saints MC #2)

REVELRY
(Taint #1)

Coming Soon

Harley
and Rose

CLOSER
(Taint #2)

HURT
(Taint #3)

JETT
(Savage Saints MC #3)

GRIM
(Savage Saints MC #4)

KILLER
(Savage Saints MC #5)

With
great books comes great responsibility—in thanking the team of wonderful people
who help you bring them to life, that is. This book tested my limits on an
emotional and physical level—carpal tunnel, anyone? But, Toward the Sound if
Chaos would not have been possible without the help of the following people:

To
my darling non-husband Ben, you are my EVERYTHING! Thanks for being my
confidante, my soul mate, my sounding board, for tormenting me as only you can,
for reminding me to laugh, for kicking my butt when I doubted myself, and for
being my hands for the last month. Read my damn books already!

Ava
Rose and Ari Danger, I love you more than the sun, and more than the stars, and
more than the moon, and more than mars, and WAY MORE THAN … CHICKENS!

To
my gorgeous family both blood and extended, I LOVE YOU! Mum, thanks for taking
me to the doctor and forcing me to look after myself when all I could see was
that looming deadline.

To
my beautiful beta readers Kristine Barakat, Kristina Zolnar and Nicole McCurdy
you girls rocked this book so hard. Thank you for being so patient with me, and
for your willingness to drop whatever you were doing and read more chapters.

Kristina,
thank you for your advice on the southern side of things, your mad proofing
skills, and for the gorgeous pics of Fairhope. I’m still reeling over the fact
that you connected so much with this book that you decided to take your family
to that gorgeous little town. I hope you’re prepared to beta all my books from
now on?

Nicole,
thank you for allowing me a glimpse into what life is like for ASD families.
Getting that right was possibly the scariest part of writing this novel for me,
so your kind words helped more than you’ll ever know and I’m forever grateful.

Kristine,
thank you for talking me down off the ledge, for being the one to listen to
hours upon hours of rambling book thoughts and for being as excited about Jake
and Ellie’s story as I was. More than lipstick, lady!

Lauren
McKellar from McStellar Editing, gargantuan amounts of fuzzy puppy thanks to
you for always going above and beyond. I feel privileged to be one of your
clients, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you do.

To
the ridiculously talented Hang Le, who created the most perfect cover for Jake
and Ellie’s story, and whose creativity knows no bounds. I don’t think you
realize just how incredible you are. It’s a joy to work with you, and I’m so
fortunate to have had your magic bring Jake Tucker to life.

Heartfelt
thanks to Emily from E. M. Tippetts Book Designs. You and your team are
superstars. Here’s to many more beautiful interiors together.

Huge
thanks to Mike—I’m leaving your surname out of it so as not to get you in
trouble with the Corps—without whom the Military side of this book may have
been seriously lacking. Any shortcomings in this area are mine, but I hope I
did you and your brothers proud. Thank you for your service.

Special
thanks to Lilly Barrett for the Military insight you provided, and to Bec
Kleinschmidt for the extra info when dealing with Sensory Processing Disorder.

To
my Sugar Junkies, who give me so much love and support and who constantly
promote my work without ever having to be asked. THANK YOU! You girls are the
reason I continue to write, and I can’t tell you what it means to read your
reviews and kind words and know that someone out there loved something I
created.

To
the lovely ladies of The Rock Stars of Romance, thank you for hosting the cover
reveal and release day blitz for Toward the Sound of Chaos. You girls have
supported me from my debut novel right through until the ninth and I’m so
honoured to be one of your rock stars.

And
finally a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU to the readers, bloggers and fellow authors
who read, support, pimp, review, and who follow me faithfully no matter which
genre I write or how much I make you cry. Without you the stories in my head
would just be tales I tell myself that would likely have me committed.