Touching Scars (25 page)

“How do I make you crazy?” Now I wasn’t sure if
I
was the offended one.

One side of his mouth tipped up in a grin. “You don’t see how beautiful you are. Everywhere you go, men look at you like you are a decadent little dessert they want a taste of.” The grin disappeared as quickly as it came. “And any man that tries to put their hands on you will have me to answer to. I won’t share you. I can’t.”

“You have no competition, Timber. I’d never expect you to share me. I’m all yours,” I stated matter of factly.

“Yeah, except I’m already competing with the man that hurt you.”

I felt like he just slapped me across the face. How could he say something like that? Feeling my anger bubbling up, I lashed out. “Nice! Real fuckin’ nice of you to bring that up when we’re talking about you and me. You have never had to compete with that piece of shit, so what makes you think you are?”

“He’s in your head, Kat. I’ve been fighting for his space for months now. I want him gone. Eradicated!”

I reached over the center console and shoved him hard. “You think that I can just forget about him? What he’s done to me? He stole something from me that no girl ever wants to give to just anyone for the first time. I’ll never get that back, Timber! So of course he’s in my head. He’s a monster that lurks around every corner. I never know what will bring him crashing back into the forefront of my mind but I certainly never expected you to willingly throw him in my face!”

“I’m not trying to throw him in your face. I just want you to know that I want to replace him. I don’t want him to be lurking around when I’m with you, when I’m
inside
of you.”

I was completely taken aback. How did this conversation take a turn so quickly? “You are talking to me like I haven’t tried to forget about him. I fucking moved here to get away from him! I was living in that town in fear that he’d show back up and do the same thing all over again. Christ, Timber.” I threw my hands up in the air. “I had to fucking quit track, something that I loved, because I couldn’t step foot back in the locker room where he raped me.”

I suddenly stopped yelling and my hand flew up, covering my mouth. I’d just told him a piece of information that I’d never shared. His eyebrows rose as shock registered on his handsome face. The wheels were turning behind his beautiful blue eyes as he let what I’d said sink in. I was now a sitting duck, waiting for his fury to come flying out.

“It happened at the school?” he quietly asked.

I nodded my head, tears starting to pool in my eyes.

“And was he an adult or was he a student?” The softer he spoke, the more menacing his tone became.

“Student,” I choked.

“Do I know him?” He turned to look out the windshield. It almost hurt more because he wouldn’t even look at me.

“Probably,” I lied. “It was a small school, Timber. There weren’t that many faces that we wouldn’t have passed at some point in the hall.”

“You know what I’m asking you, Kat. Don’t fuck around with me right now.”

As a matter of fact, I did know what he was asking. I felt like I was at a crossroads; trying to decide between telling him the truth, sending him into a rage, or evading his question and make him think that it was a guy from my class. There was no doubt in my mind that he would blame himself, then go hunt Adam down and do unspeakable damage if I told him the truth. Timber was two years older than me, so he could believe that it was someone that graduated with me. I made my decision almost too easily.

“It was someone that I graduated with. He ran in a different crowd than you, okay? I’m sure you barely even knew the kid.”

He didn’t relax in the slightest. “What was his name?”

Shit! I hadn’t planned on him asking me details. My heart was hammering in my chest. Simply discussing this topic with him made me want to roll my window down and hurl. I really didn’t want to keep lying to him, and I also didn’t want to keep talking about it.

“Timber, I can’t, okay? I know you want to know, but the idea of even speaking his name makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. That name in my head is one that will forever be burned there, and I don’t ever want to feel it coming off of my lips. Please, I’m begging you, can we just drop it?”

My tears were falling in slow drops from my cheeks, and he was watching me guardedly. I could see the internal battle that was raging inside of him — the need for him to know even a name so he could feel like he was further protecting me, and the very simple need to give me what I was asking for. I took a shaky breath when he chose the latter.

He used the backs of his hands to wipe away the dampness on my face. “This is the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done. Every impulse in me is telling me to find this person and do to him one thousand times worse than what he did to you. I’m hanging by a thread here, Kat. I want to hurt him so bad I feel murderous.”

He looked it too. I needed to pull him out of his head and bring him back to just me. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I maneuvered my way over the shifter and onto his open lap. I faced him as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I shoved my nose into the crook of his neck and breathed in the earthy scent of him mixed with the faded hint of his cologne. I could feel him doing the same as his arms came around me and pressed me to his chest so that there wasn’t an inch of space between us. I heard him breathing as he buried his head in my hair. His hands were trailing slow paths up and down my spine. It was somehow calming to both him and me. I needed to be touching him as much as he needed to have every part of me wrapped around him.

I had no idea how long we sat there like that, but it was long enough for one of my legs to lose its feeling from being squished behind him. I didn’t care, though, and I wasn’t in a hurry to let him go. I kept running my fingers through his black, spiky hair over and over again as his heart slowed to its normal rhythm. It was really quiet in the car when I felt his chest rumble under mine. He said something that I couldn’t make out. His mouth was covered by all of my hair.

“Hmm?” I said as I ran my fingers from the bottom of his neck up to the top of his head. Grasping a handful of hair, I gently pulled him away so I could hear him better. “What’d you say?” I put my forehead on his.

“I said I love you. I never thought I’d ever feel this way about someone, not after dealing with losing my friends. I’ve been scared to feel so close to someone again, but I can’t help myself with you. You make it easy to love you. You’ve settled yourself into every part of me, and I’ve fallen, Kat. I’ve fallen so hard.”

I pulled my head back so I could look into his eyes as he spoke. Nobody had ever spoken to me with such conviction before. If a man had said these words to me any time before now, I would have thought they were empty feelings. With Timber, I couldn’t doubt him. Not with the way he was looking at me, and not with the way I was feeling towards him as well. But was it love that I was feeling?

I had no idea. I knew he made me feel things that were brand new. I knew that I wanted to be with him every minute of the day because if I wasn’t, I missed him. I knew that he was the first person that I’d opened myself up to about my terrifying past and he hadn’t judged me like I expected a man would have done. He didn’t leave me and go running for the hills because I was the girl with bags and bags of luggage to deal with. He was the guy that carried it for me, and made each day better and something to look forward to. Before Timber, I’d simply existed in my life. I hadn’t been living it. I loved his challenging ways and how controlling he could be. So did I love him? Yeah, I think I did.

“I love you, too.” And as I said the words, I knew I meant them.

 The most heart stopping smile I’d ever seen spread across Timber’s face. “Those are some pretty words on your lips.” His thumb brushed my lower lip. “I know something that would look even better on your mouth.”

I laughed. “Are you talking dirty to me after you just said the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever heard, and are we still parked on the side of the road?”

He dazzled me with his sparkling sky-colored eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Kat.” He swatted my behind. “I was talking about this.”

He leaned forward and lightly placed his lips on mine. The gesture was so soft I barely felt anything besides his warm breath whispering across my mouth. His teeth grazed my lower lip and my tongue darted out, licking where I’d felt him. He took this as his invitation to deepen our connection as he opened his mouth and placed his hand on the back of my head. His tongue slipped into my mouth and caressed my own. I could feel him harden beneath my center as he ground into me and moaned. Our tongues danced together, tasting every inch that we could. I pushed my hips down on his lap and I heard him suck in a breath.

“Shit,” he growled into my mouth.

I smiled, my teeth tugging on his full lower lip. “How quickly you do put my mind in the gutter, Mr. Nelson.”
I pushed a little harder, creating some friction at my core. “Oh, God, I need you.” His hand released the back of my head and smoothed up my shirt. He went all the way up until his rough hand palmed my breast over the top of my bra.

“More
, I need more.” I was quickly working myself into a frenzy and my hips were now rocking back at forth on their own accord.

“Kat, we need to stop. I’m not willing to let half of Texas see my girl naked while I fuck her on the side of the road.”

I rolled my eyes. My body was ready and willing for him to take me regardless of the scenery. I reached up and pinched his nipples through his shirt, and he let out a yelp. “That’s for getting me hot and bothered, then not finishing the job.”

I was already making my way back over into my seat when he slid his hand behind my hair on the back of my neck and brought my face to his. He looked absolutely savage as his gaze bored into mine. “I said I won’t have everyone that passes us looking at your perfect body. These nipples,” his fingers tweaked my already hardened buds, “and this pussy,” his hand went down and cupped me, “are for my eyes only. Do you understand me? I’m all for public displays, but when it comes to you being naked, I’ll hurt anybody that glances in your direction. And I
will
be remedying this when we get home.”

I nodded but tried to press down on his hand as he made me melt into a puddle of desire. He shifted his hand away, knowing what I wanted from him. My mouth dropped open and he pointed to my seat. He was silently telling me to sit down and get buckled.

“Bastard,” I grumbled.

He barked a laugh. “I love it when my girl gets testy.”

“I hate it when my guy is a teasing prick. We’ll see if you get any when we get back.”

That only served to make him laugh even harder. “Oh, just try and deny me, Kat. You’ll pay for it.” His words only amped up my already needy body. This was exactly the domineering side that I liked, despite it pissing me off. He brushed my hair away from my shoulder. “So beautiful when you’re mad. I love you.”

Those last three words made me feel all mushy and I was certain I wouldn’t ever tire of hearing them. He put the car in drive and we pulled back onto the highway. Hopefully he got us home quickly — I had a feeling I would be ripping his clothes off the moment we got indoors.

When we got back into Port O’Connor, we ended up going to The Hole so I could drop off my stuff and check on the bar to make sure everyone survived alright without me. Getting out of the car, Timber gathered my bag and met me at the entrance. I didn’t even give him time to put a hand on the door before I jumped into his arms, causing him to drop my bag so he could catch me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pressed my mouth down onto him, desperate to taste him again. His hands slid underneath my butt and held me close as he opened his mouth and kissed the ever-loving daylights out of me. My tongue plunged into him as I licked and tasted him. I’d grown to crave the sweetness of his mouth.  He pressed my back up against the heavy wood door and ground his already hard cock into me. I moaned at the sensation.

“How long were you planning that little attack?” He grinned against my lips.

“Since you left me hanging on the side of the road,” I mumbled. “Please don’t make me wait any longer. I need you.”

His ice blue eyes danced with desire and happiness at my comment. “That was the plan, baby.” He took a step back so he could open the door. He propped it open with his foot, and bent down to grab my bag that he’d dropped. I tipped down with him, giggling and hanging on for dear life. I refused to let him set me down. When he stood back up to full height, he swatted me on my butt. “Good God, you’re heavy, woman.”

“Oh, shut up and get me inside so I can get you naked.”

He sighed and stepped inside. “I knew you only wanted me for my body.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

This was the easy, fun, lighter side of Timber that I’d seen throughout the weekend. I was pleased to see that he felt comfortable enough to bring it back with us. As the door shut behind us, we both stopped the bantering and turned to face the sound of the stereo that was blasting through the bar. What on earth? I glanced around the open space and we both tensed when we heard giggling coming from behind the bar. I heard Timber snicker and I looked up at him. He set me down on my feet. We both made our way over to where the sound was coming from. I recognized that deeper voice that traveled to my ears. Oh my gosh. No way!