Touching Fire (Touch Saga) (19 page)

He shook his head. “No.”

Ashton lowered his teacup bearing arm and stared. “The hallow.”

I exchanged a glance with Isaiah and was relieved to see he looked as bemused as I felt. “Uh, no,
no, we must have missed that. What’s a hallow?”

He took a sip of his tea, then set the cup down on the tray. “They
’re not really a
what
, but more of a …
who.
” He met my gaze squarely. “They are an echo of the human soul.”

Now what does one say to that? Stunned silence seemed to be the only thing I could
muster.

“Souls,” I said finally, slowly … cautiously. “You have souls just … wandering, around the place?”

A grin touched his lips, but it was quickly concealed. Yet it continued to sparkle behind his eyes. “Where did you expect souls to go?”

Well, not to my dad’s house.

“Heaven? Hell…” I trailed off, my heart sinking into my gut. “Are we in hell?”

Ashton burst out laughing. He laughed so hard and for so long, I didn’t think he’d ever stop. And really, my question wasn’t
that
funny! Excuse me for being concerned.

Slowly, he sobered, but barely. “Now why would you assume that?”

I looked over the place. “Well…” I waved a hand at the Goth motif. “It’s either that, or you need to fire your decorator. This place doesn’t exactly scream … heavenly. Also, you keep referring to my world as the topside, making me think we’re underside.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You
are not in hell, or heaven,” he added when my eyebrows went up.

“I think that’s a relief.
” I exhaled. “So where are we and why do you have souls?”

The
teacup was lifted again, but left in its saucer. “You are in Luxuria, my …
our
home.”

“Okay, but I doubt I’ll find Luxuria on any
mortal map, so where exactly are we?”

He took a timid sip as he stared into the empty hearth.
With a flick of his long fingers, a roaring blaze erupted on the grate, snapping and crackling like it had been lit for hours. I hated that I actually jumped in surprise. How could I still possess the ability to be surprised? Hadn’t I seen stranger things?

“Luxuria,” Ashton began, rising to his feet, “Is one region of seven.” He reached into his pocket with his free hand while simultaneously setting his cup down with the other. A moment later, he withdrew the long rod thing Archer had given him the day we met
, the magical portal making quill. But it was gold. “This is a rawel,” he said, holding the object up for us to see. It was no bigger than a thick pen. “It’s a key of sorts,” he explained, moving to the coffee table between us. “Each one is unique to the owner and cannot be used by another, unless that other person is a Sire. It is embedded with the owner’s blood.” He flipped the little notch and it shot to full length.

“You used Archer
’s,” I said. “Does that make you—?”

“
A Sire? Yes.”

“His was silver,” I observed.

Ashton nodded, taking great care not to look up from the item in his hand. “Yes. He isn’t a Sire. Not yet and thus does not yet wield the same level of power I do.”

My eyes narrowed. “
But his father is a Sire.”

“Yes.” Without another word, he delicately set the pointy end on the smooth glass.
It wobbled, but remained upright. He waved a hand over the rod and shimmering lights erupted from the end. They spilled down in curls until they hovered an inch off the glass in a circle around the rod. One by one, the lights took shape, forming symbols I didn’t recognize. There were seven and as I watched, they each took on individual hues. Green. Violet. Red. Light blue. Yellow. Orange. Blue.

“Our region.” He pointed to the
blue one shaped like a waning crescent with an arrow speared through the back. “The rest are the other regions.”

His hands moved clockwise over the other symbols, stopping at each one to name them.

There were six, not including Luxuria. Hybris was the violet symbol shaped like a barbell shot through with a squiggly line. Aumon was yellow, shaped like an upright triangle broken at the bottom so the flat part sharpened to pointy legs. An upside down crescent moon hung from the top point like a domed roof. Beram was green and shaped like a box without the top. A line was cut down the center to stop at a small triangle at the bottom. Toran was orange and the most elaborate of the lot with a cross cut into the center of a triangle. The ends stuck out the bottom and sides and a ring haloed the middle. The red one, Ira, was a U with a line down the center and a crescent moon at the middle point. Finally, the light blue one represented the Acedia region, an upside down point with a star in the center.

“We are part of
Agartha,” Ashton went on, gesturing to the entire diagram. “If Luxuria were a province or a state, then Agartha would be our country,” he explained when I frowned in confusion.

“How did we get here?” I asked. “
And where exactly is here? Are we still on earth?”

Ashton shrugged. “Yes and no.
” He set his hand on top of the rawel. “We arrived through the nexus.” The image shimmered. The glowing light weaved together to form an elaborate maze.

“The corridor of doors!” I exclaimed, recognizing the millions of doors.

“The nexus,” Ashton corrected. “It leads to places even I haven’t explored. It is the gateway to all things in-between. Like us.”

“In
-between what?” I wondered.

Ashton gave a careless wave of his free hand. “Worlds. Realms. Space and time. It’s all the same place. You have to pass
through the nexus to get there.”

I shifted to the edge of the sofa to better observe the elaborate display of winding tunnels and corridors. “So why haven’t humans found it?”

“The nexus, theoretically, cannot actually be used,” he said with great deliberation. “It is not in a place that one can find, be you human, or none. It can only be found if they wield a rawel.
We
,” he gestured between himself and me. “And the guards are the only creatures with the abilities to see the nexus for what it is, and only because the creator of the rawel built the guards to protect the nexus.”

“Sir?” Isaiah leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What are you?”

I felt stupid for not having asked that question myself. Instead, I was asking about doors.

Ashton stepped back from the table. He waved a hand over the
rawel and the maze distorted and we watched a man rise from the light; tall with wide shoulders and a broad chest. He was made of gold, or maybe that was just the light. He had a head full of curly hair that fell to his shoulders. He was naked from the waist up and, I won’t lie, he was hot. Definitely a ten. I deliberately not noticed the sharp glance Isaiah sent me and continued to watch as the man came fully into view.

His head was bowed as though in prayer, hands clasped meekly in front of him, long fingers wrapped around a double-edge
d sword that was as long and dangerous as he was. He wore a tunic around his narrow hips and sandals on his feet. But none of that explained why Ashton was showing him to us.

“The only way to explain what we are is by explaining where we came from.” He gave a wave of his hand over the
rawel and magnificent wings exploded from the man’s back. Each one expanded into forever.

I gasped.
“We’re angels?”

He shook his head, l
eaning back in his chair. “He is not us, but he is the reason we exist.” He raised his head and his hazel eyes met mine. “What do you know of the Tree of Life?”

I shrugged. “Only what I’ve read in mythology books.”

With a nod, he dropped his gaze back to the man and his sword. Slowly, the light around his feet swirled and rose to create a beautiful tree in full bloom.

“
Arbor Vitae
,” he murmured. “The Tree of Life, the source of
all
life. Did you know this is the very tree that bestowed Eve with the toxic apple?” He didn’t wait for me to comment. “After the fall of man by sin, Michael,” Ashton said, as he gestured to the man with the wings, “was ordered to destroy the tree. But the moment his blade struck the base, seven roots shot through the earth, creating seven of mankind’s worse fears.” His eyes lifted slowly and I found myself caught in them and in his story. “Do you know what those fears are, Fallon?”

I shook my head slowly.
“Demons?” I guessed feebly.

He waved his hand over the
rawel. The seven symbols of the regions appeared, surrounding the tree and its seven roots.

“Created as a punishing sin, the tree birthed seven original sins
and the roots became the nexus, a network of doors leading across time and space, for sin is everywhere.”

I stiffened. Isaiah did the same beside me. “You’re a sin?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not
a
sin. I am
the
sin. The
original sin.
” He paused, rolled his eyes. “One of the original sins.”

I looked to Isaiah, hoping he was hearing the same thing I was and that I wasn’t crazy, or dreaming.
He had heard and looked as wide-eyed and slack-jawed as I felt. I turned back to my father …
my father!

“What does that make me?” I wondered.

“You are my daughter,” he said simply. “You’re not an original, but you are Rem.”

“A what?”

He smiled a little. “It’s what we are. We are Rem Legacy.”

“Celia told me about this today,” I said, feeling slightly better that I knew
something.
“But we were talking about her legacy … Bane Legacy. She said only those born from a Sire are considered part of a legacy, right?”

“
Celia always was better at explaining things,” he said.

“You said you … we, were sins. Which sin?” I thought of my hunger for blood and blanched. “We’re not gluttony, are we?”

Ashton laughed. “No, that is Toran region.”

That was a small relief.

“Okay, what then?”

“You tell me. How well do you know your sins
, Fallon?”

I glanced at Isaiah, then back a
t Ashton and shrugged. “Wrath, greed, gluttony, pride…”

“Sloth,” Isaiah added when I struggled.

I nodded. “Right, sloth, and, um … envy.”

“You’re missing one,” Ashton said when I went quiet.

Frowning, I turned to Isaiah, hoping he knew, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring furiously at the fire. A muscle moved along his jaw and his knuckles blazed white against his gold skin where they were fisted on his thighs. I faced Ashton once more.

“Luxuria,” he said quietly, moving his hand over
the rawel and making the light coil. The symbol of our region appeared, glowing almost white.

It was Isaiah who answered.
“Lust.”

Chapter
14

“That’s ridiculous!” I leapt to my feet, disturbing the floating streams of light so they floated harmlessly to the glass table. “I’m not lust. I mean, look at me! There’s nothing lusty about me.” I threw my arms open wide. “Do I look like the sort to invoke lustful
whatever
in people?”

Delaying in response, Ashton plucked up the
rawel and shut off the light display. He compressed it back to its normal size and slipped it into his pocket.

“You
are misunderstanding your place, Fallon.” He moved to his chair and regained it slowly, sitting upon it like a king on his throne. “It is a common mistake. Humans are so bound by words. Greed, they automatically think money. Envy, they think of greed. Lust, they think of sex. Yes, carnal desires play a part, but one can lust for money. They can desire wealth and success. All sins intertwine, but desire is the root of all sins. Without passion one cannot achieve their dreams. Without longing, we would have no dreams. So you see?”

I didn’t see.

“Okay … okay, uh…” I exhaled sharply. “So let’s pretend like I’m not freaking out right now, what does this mean?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. What do you want it to mean?”

“No, no!” I let out a half-crazed laugh. “You need to tell me what I’m supposed to do with … with this…” I gestured to everything in a wide, violent sweep of my arms. “This is a whole lot more than just a little weird. I mean, at this point in the game, I would rather be a vampire and I hate vampires! Ask him.” I swung a hand towards Isaiah, nearly smacking him. “So you need to tell me what does this means, okay? Please?”

“Fallon.” He rose to his feet and moved around the coffee table to stand before me. His hands rested lightly on my shoulders.
“It means you finally know who you are.”

“But I don’t know—”

“Yes, you do.” He squeezed my shoulders. “Now just breathe, okay? This doesn’t have to change anything. You’re still the same person you were ten minutes ago.”

Was I? I didn’t feel like the same person. I felt like I had somehow dropp
ed into someone else’s life. It all felt alien and out of place.

“I don’t know what this means,” I said again. “Am I going to start going into people’s dreams and sucking their souls?”

His mouth twitched, but he smothered it quickly. “You’re not a succubus, Fallon,” he said calmly. “You are a sin and I will teach you everything.”

I was shaking all over like I couldn’t seem to get warm
, yet my palms were dripping with sweat. I had to grit my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering. Somehow, this revelation was infinitely worse than the time I learned I was a cocktail of animal DNA. Maybe because I had stupidly assumed that was the worst possible thing to happen to me and then this happened and I was left wondering what the hell was next? How could this moment possibly get worse?

“Fallon…”
Ashton’s arms folded me into his chest.

F
or a moment, I stiffened before I just let myself sag into him. I closed my eyes as his hands started stroking my hair. His warmth seeped into my skin, chasing away the chill. He kissed my temple and it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears.

“It’s going to be all right,” he promised.
“We’re not monsters.”

“Then what are we?” I whispered into his shoulder.
“It’s called
sin
for a reason. It’s wrong and evil.”

He drew back, not much, just enough to frame my face between his hands. “
I won’t deny it. We are capable of great evil, but because of us, mankind also knows great joy. Nothing is ever all good or all evil. Not even us.”

I shook my head. “I need to think about this.”

He released me. “Of course. You’ve had an exciting day. You should rest.”

Exciting wasn’t the word I would have used, but I didn’t say anything as I started towards the library doors.
They gave easily beneath my grasp, surprising me. They appeared so heavy. Not dwelling on it, I pushed onward, moving quickly down the corridor.

“Fallon.” Isaiah
stepped into place alongside me. “Talk to me.”

I threw up my hands. “About what? That my father is
a sin and I’m his sin daughter? I don’t even know where to start.”

“It makes sense you know,” he said softly.

I looked to him, my disbelief no doubt clear on my face because it rang perfectly in my voice. “How do you figure?”

He rolled his shoulder in a slight shrug.
His blue eyes met mine, hot and intense. “Do you really need me to tell you the affect you have on people?”

I stopped walking and stared at him. “What?”

He nudged me onward. “I’ve been watching you your whole life. I have seen the way boys would watch you in school. The way men would follow you with their eyes when you got older. It always amazed me how clueless you were to it.”

“I wasn’t clueless!” I snapped. “And you’re wrong. It was never like that. They would watch because I was som
e kind of circus freak to them.”

“And why would you be something like that, hm?” he challenged. “Do you have a wooden leg I’m not aware of? A glass eye, maybe?”

“Because I was new,” I replied, annoyed. “So what you’re saying is that I’m super hot and too dense to know it.”

He paused to mull this over
. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He doubled over with an
oomph
when I elbowed him in the gut. “You didn’t let me finish,” he muttered, barely suppressing his grin. “You’re not dense, just very sheltered.”

We reached my bedroom door and I rounded on him. “Why? Because in the hundreds of schools I’ve been to I’ve never once found a single guy I liked?”

The glimmer in his eyes were still there, but darker, almost predatory. “Perhaps.”

“And
how is it you have no idea why that is?” I countered, spearing my hips with my hands and taking a step towards him.

A shadow shifted over his face. “Why?”

My heart was drumming in my chest, I realized with a start. An explosion of little wings danced in the pit of my stomach and I gulped audibly. But I was determined now.

“Because
I have always belonged to someone, even when I didn’t know what that meant.” I paused to moisten my lips, my nerves threatening to overtake me if I didn’t say it quickly. “I have always been in love with the boy on the bike.”

The flicker of emotion that closed over his face could only be described as agonizing. It clouded his beautiful eyes and sharpened the edges of his jaw.

“Don’t say that.”

That wasn’
t what I was expecting as a response. I always assumed he shared my feelings, at least a little. I certainly never imagined he would look on the verge of throwing up.

Hurt welled up inside me until it was a white-hot wedge crammed into my chest. I wanted to reach up and smooth the ache, but I couldn’t seem to move.
I was frozen from the neck down with only my brain functioning enough to beg me to run. I couldn’t believe he was turning me away.

He straightened a notch, his gaze never
left me. A sad little smile touched his lips. “Do you really think I could ever turn you away?”

I wanted to say
um, kinda doing it right now.
Except I knew the moment I opened my mouth, I would break into tears.

He sighed, dropping back against the nearest wall. He shoved a hand back through his hair, sweeping back the thick fringes that always fell over his eyes.

“Things are different now, Fallon,” he murmured.

“You don’t want me anymore
.” It wasn’t a question.

Isaiah
swore when my voice broke and closed his eyes. “Of course I want you! God, I’m half-crazy with how much I want you! There is nothing I want more. But…” He opened his eyes and pinned them on my face. “You’re home now. You’re free. You don’t need to worry about Garrison or running. You can start a new life with … with people like you.”

I recoiled.
“What?”

He growled deep in his throat. “I’m not saying this right.”

“What
are
you saying?” I demanded, finding myself finally through anger.

He averted his gaze. “
All you’ve ever known was me. You never got the chance to be like other girls. Maybe now … now you can.”

“Can what?” I shouted, throwing my arms open and letting them drop back down to my sides.

“I don’t know damn it!” he snapped, frustration warring across his features. “I just … ugh!” He kicked the wall viciously.

A small part of my brain knew
exactly what he was saying. I wasn’t stupid. I was just stunned out of my damn mind that he was saying it. That alone pissed me right off.

“Let me get this straight.” I folded my arms and pinned him with all the fury of a seriously pissed off woman. “
You think now that you’ve brought me here, these feelings I have for you are going to magically just disappear, is that it?” Another thought occurred to me, this one clutching my insides with razor sharp talons. It was nearly impossible to speak around the pain. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? Now that your job is done, you can find someone else.” I shoved away from him and put the width of a corridor between us. “Someone who isn’t so slow and weak. Someone who doesn’t use you like a
Meals On Wheels
.”

Why hadn’t I seen it?
He wasn’t giving me an option. He was trying to let me down gently. An upgraded version of the whole,
it’s not you, it’s me
, line.

“Fallon, stop.” He closed the space between us and took my shoulders in his hands. “You know
none of that is true.”

I shook my head. “If it’s not true then why are you breaking up with me?”

“I’m not!” He gave me a little shake. “I just want you to know that I’ll understand if you want to find something else.”

Anger and confusion took over my crippling pain and I shoved him away from me. “
You can go ahead and pretend to be all noble about this, Isaiah. Pretend like you’re doing me this huge favor by letting me go, you’re forgetting one important detail.” I speared him violently in the chest with my index finger. “That I don’t want to be with anyone else. But if you do, if that’s what you want…” I bit my lip when it trembled, unable to vomit the nails wedged in my throat.

I knew I should be the bigger person and accept the fact that there was a possibility that he would want more, but I couldn’t.
Instead, I took another step back from him, wrenched open my bedroom door and closed it between us.

I didn’t sleep that night. Between my conversation with Isaiah and the one with Ashton, I was pretty certain I would never sleep again.
When had my life taken such a nosedive into loony town that I couldn’t even find my way out? It made no sense. Two months ago, the weirdest thing to happen to me was watching the guy behind the motel counter pick his nose and pass gas at the same time. Now I was suddenly the daughter of all the world’s sins, birthed by some mystical tree. I wasn’t even going to touch the whole
hallow
thing. I couldn’t even fathom the level of brain power I would need to process that little piece of information.

I stared up at the ceiling as I lay in bed. “What have you gotten me into, Mom?”

I totally got that every family had their secrets and everyone was so sure that theirs was somehow worse, but I was pretty confident I would win. There was nothing like wandering spirits and deadly vices to crush the competition.

By the time light
sliced across the horizon, piercing the clear black with shards of gold and crimson, I was more awake than I had been my whole life. I watched it blossom, soaking up the darkness until nothing but miles of crystal blue stretched across the sky. Giving up on sleep, I threw off the covers and padded to the terrace. The early morning chill crept across my skin, making me shiver. I wore one of Isaiah’s t-shirts, a black one that went all the way to my knees. It used to smell like him, but that had faded and I wondered briefly if I could sneak into his room and steal another one.