Touch the Sky (Free Fall Book 1) (11 page)

“
H
ope
that hoodie is staying home,” Ezra says as I fumble around my bedroom, trying to get ready for my night out with Lucas. “You’ll have to store it someplace if you’re going to dance.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I roll my eyes. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he says, laughing. “Just trying to help.”

“Bet you’re a joy to have for a boyfriend.” I duck as he lunges a small throw pillow from the couch in my direction. It hits the side of my bed and lands on the carpet. Ezra can be pretty uptight—except when he’s high—so to see him loosen up a bit is humorous.

Fussing with my hair in the mirror, I push it out of my face, wondering if I still look halfway decent despite these bags beneath my eyes. I’ve been sleeping a lot less lately. Every time I try to close my eyes, I make lists in my head of everything I need to do, hope to do. Kind of like a bucket list. One that includes Lucas. But at least I’m all caught up on my school assignments from my middle of the night sessions.

I even emailed a contact my uncle gave me last year for the local flight school to inquire about lessons in this area. It’d been the last time I talked to him. My uncle had seemed happy to hear from me, glad I was enrolled in classes, and wished me well out here on my own. I ignore that part of my conscience that tells me I need to get my other ducks in a row first. But I can’t bear to think of failing at my dream. Not because of my fucking brain being faulty.

Lacing up my black Vans, I realize that Ezra is still in the doorway, snickering at me. “What?”

“You’re different with him,” he says, shrugging. “Lucas.”

“How would you know?” I shove my wallet in my back pocket. “You’ve only met him one time.”

“Yeah, but you’re always looking at your phone and smiling like some goofball.”

“Whatever.” Before he decides to ask questions, I change the subject. “What do you have going on?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask if he wants to tag along. I feel bad that I don’t spend much time with Ezra but he’s older, has that brother complex, and his interests are different than mine. The only time we hang out is when we’re marathoning a Netflix show.

Before I can say another word, his phone buzzes with a call. I throw a wave over my shoulder as I fly out the door and head toward Lucas’s place. He lives closer to The Male Box and I figure we can always call a car service if we’re too beat to walk back.

I text Lucas when I’m nearing his apartment and he meets me out on the street. He’s wearing tight jeans and a fitted T-shirt that pulls nicely across his defined shoulders, and damn if it doesn’t take some effort to tear my eyes away.

“You like what you see?” he asks, tucking a smirk in his cheek, as he throws my words back at me.

“Definitely,” I say and I love how his eyes brighten to sparkling jade nuggets from the compliment.

As we start our trek toward the bar, I’m dying to grab for his hand but the street is so crowded that we’d have to separate frequently anyway.

“Did you have to call off work tonight?” I ask at the next crosswalk.

“No,” he says, looking both ways at traffic. “Conner filled in for me.”

“A work friend?” I ask because he hasn’t mentioned him before, though he might be the same guy behind the bar the one night I showed up.

He hesitates a split moment before nodding in the affirmative. My stomach tightens. There’s either a story there or Lucas has trouble with the use of the word friend.

“What’s your roommate up to?” he asks, effectively changing the subject.

“I’m sure Ezra loaded a bowl as soon as I left,” I scoff. “He’s been trying to lay off ever since we had some lame argument and I called him on it.”

“What did you argue about?” he asks. Shit. It was about my meds.

“He…” I take a deep breath and push the truth to the side. I was so looking forward to simply hanging loose tonight. Nothing heavy. “He likes to stick his nose in too much of my business.”

Lucas raises an eyebrow. “See, that’s why I’m not sure I could live with somebody.”

“Are you saying you don’t play nice with others?” I ask, curious again about his friendships. But it’s not like I have people knocking down my door just to hang out with me.

“I can play nice with
you
,” he says in a throaty voice and heat rushes to my cheeks.

The loud bass makes my teeth clatter even before we pay the cover at the door.

The cloying smell of sweat and alcohol hangs in the air as we make our way inside the spacious main room. My chest buzzes from the music and I’m itching to get my legs moving to the frenetic beat.

Lucas grabs my hand as a rush of bodies swarms around us to get to the two-story dance floor and I like that he has this protective instinct. Or maybe he just wants everybody to know we’re together tonight. Even better.

We maneuver through the throng of sweaty men and women and I tug on his hand to head toward the bar. It’s the thing I normally do when I first arrive in order to quench my thirst, but I feel him tense beside me.

I take a step back and whisper in his ear. “I don’t need alcohol. I know it bothers you and I can guess why—but maybe you can tell me another time when we’re alone.”

He meets my eye and nods. “Yeah, I can do that. But no worries, I’m cool with you getting a drink.”

He stands behind me while I place my order at the bustling bar for a Jack and Coke, along with a soda for him. We watch the hot spray-tanned men in G-strings strut and grind erotically on the tri-level platforms around the space, while dollar bills are shoved in their groins.

I feel his breath by my ear. “You ever hook up with one of those pretty boys?”

I’m not sure what response he’s looking for but I go for honesty. We both have pasts after all. “Once. Not really my thing but they’re nice to look at.”

As I pay the tab, I notice a guy sizing Lucas up in my side view. I can totally understand why; he looks smoking hot tonight. But a swell of possessiveness springs up inside me—something I’ve never felt with anybody before—and I tamp it down. No need to act like some jealous Neanderthal tonight.

“What’s your name?” I hear the guy ask Lucas, but I don’t acknowledge it because I’m not going to be one of those guys. Besides I can’t help wondering how Lucas will respond and how far he’ll go if somebody is flirting with him. There’s so much I still don’t know about him, so I can’t help but be curious.

“Not interested,” Lucas says in a stern voice. His warm hand lands on my neck. “I’m here with somebody.”

I turn to look in the man’s direction, my pulse pounding in my ears. Nobody has ever claimed me like that. Called me his own. And I realize in the moment how fucking much I want that from Lucas.

“I can see why,” the dude says. He’s tall and has a nice smile, but he’s definitely not my type. “Your guy is hot. You like to share?”

Now Lucas’s fingers encircle my waist as he pulls me against his chest. “Nope, I only want him.”

My heart flutters at his words. The guy says something polite and then leaves the bar area, but I can’t concentrate on the conversation. All I can focus on is Lucas’s voice and how I feel being in his arms in this overcrowded room.

I sip my drink and glance at the dance floor, pretending like Lucas’s words don’t affect me. But his gaze is burning a hole in the side of my head as his fingers glide up to smooth across my jaw. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to speak for you. If you want to—”

“I don’t,” I say, finally meeting his gaze. “I only want you too.”

His eyes soften and he exhales a hard breath as if we’re finally on level ground. I feel giddy with relief and contentment as I clutch at his hand and drag him to the dance floor. At first he protests about his drink but then he places it in an empty spot on a ledge.

It’s a pulsing rap beat and my body feels like a live wire. My hips start swaying, my hands rise in the air, and the vibration of the music takes over. Lucas has no trouble keeping up with me, though not with as much enthusiasm.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he rumbles in my ear. I feel his hips gyrating as he grasps my waist and slides up behind me. His hard length is digging into my ass and that only spurs me on more.

After a few numbers, I follow Lucas to the back wall where we find a spot to rest between other couples swaying to the music. He pins my shoulders against the column, his breath heavy, eyes glazed over with lust, as his lips crash against mine.

My fingers reach for his waist but he grabs hold of them and raises my hands above my head as he bites my lips, licks into my mouth and then sucks on my tongue. Holy fuck, if we weren’t in a public place I’d ask him to pound me straight into oblivion.

“I didn’t know you could dance like that,” he rasps against my cheek as he releases his grip on my hands.

His fingers connect with my neck and he hauls my lips to his again. His tongue digs deep in my mouth and I groan shamelessly as I grab on to his hair and pull him flush against me. I’m so thoroughly turned on that my eyes practically roll to the back of my head.

He drags his mouth away and licks along my jawline up to my ear as he arches his hips into my groin. “You’ve got me so goddamn hard.”

“Yeah?” I ask, gasping against his neck. “Well, I know how to take care of that. Remember, you’ll need to beg.”

He laughs and kisses the side of my head. “Not here. I’d rather have you in my bed tonight.”

It’s as if the crowd has quieted down and the room has stopped spinning as his gaze latches solidly onto mine like an unspoken promise. And I’m lost. Completely lost to Lucas as he leans in and kisses me slow and deep. His fingers are on my jaw and his tongue is flicking against my gums and teeth and tongue in a drugging rhythm.

Then we’re back on the dance floor as the DJ plays some of my favorite jams. I’m having a blast with Lucas and I never want the night to end, but after a couple of solid hours, I can tell he’s beyond fatigued, and truth be told, so am I.

“Let’s get out of here,” I tell him as I swipe my forearm across my matted bangs.

The night air feels cool on my skin as we trudge back to his place, my ears still ringing from the music. As we approach his apartment, there’s no way I want to bring up what he probably said in the heat of the moment back at the bar. Besides, it’s really late.

“I had a fucking awesome time,” I say to him and then turn toward the side street. “Talk to you—”

“Gabe, wait,” he replies in a rush. “Do you want to—”

Fuck my brains out, kiss me until dawn, talk to me all night long.

Lucas seems shy all of a sudden as he stares at his feet and I have the sudden urge to let him off the hook.

“That’s okay, I don’t have to—”

“It’s too late for you to walk back,” he says. “I can drive you…or you can just stay at my place until morning. Get some sleep.”

I bite my lip. “Are you sure?”

He interlaces our fingers and we head to his apartment in virtual silence, the tension almost unbearable. It seems too overwhelming, too profound in this moment. All I know is I want to be here with him so fucking much.

He yanks his sweaty shirt off his back as I follow him to his bed, which is just on the other side of the sofa, in his tiny studio apartment. It’s a single with cozy blue sheets.

“I’m more than happy to stay on your couch...”

“Remember Rose and Jack on the raft?” he asks with a smirk. “I’ll make room.”

One of the cheesiest lines in the history of romantic gestures, but it makes my chest feel tight and funny.

We strip down to our boxers and climb into bed. Lucas lays down first and tugs me on top of him. It feels cramped but nice. Really fucking nice.

I realize how achy and tired my muscles are from all of that dancing and I sink into him, my head landing on his neck.

His hand starts moving up and down my back. I feel a small callous on his finger…from his pencil when he draws, I wonder?

I’m not sure about that. The only thing I do know is that he feels good.

I suck in a deep breath, and then Lucas does too. And when he murmurs, “I want you,” with his mouth against my ear, there’s no possible response except to whisper, “Then take me.”

I
feel
Gabe’s breath against my neck. The shakiness in his voice vibrates through me. He trembles against me. His skin is scorching hot and getting hotter by the second, as his dick grows long and hard against mine.

I’m horny. Fuck, I’ve been horny for weeks now, and even though I thought I would lose my goddamned mind when we rubbed off with each other and he sucked me, neither of those two things hold a candle to the lust roaring inside of me right now.

He pulls his face out of my neck, and looks down at me. His blond bangs hang over his forehead, making a curtain between me and his eyes. I push them out of the way, wanting to see his bright blues.

My hands travel down his slightly sweaty back, until they rest on his ass. It’s small, tight. I knead his globes, thinking about pushing between them. “Don’t hold it against me if I blow my load the second I get inside of you.”

When he laughs, it makes my chest rumble, laughter bubbling out of me too. “You might think I’m joking but I’m not. I’m almost afraid I’m going to embarrass myself.” I let my hand slide under his boxer-briefs, skin to skin with the ass I’ve dreamed about.

Gabe winks at me. “I won’t hold it against you.”

I’m trying to joke around to keep things light. Both Gabe and I have had a lot of heavy, but the truth is, there’s nothing I want more right now than his mouth on mine. There’s nothing I want more than to push inside him. To lose my fucking mind with him. “Kiss me.”

His scruff brushes against my face as his mouth comes down on mine. I open up for him, let his tongue lead the way while I stroke, knead and savor the feel of his ass in my hands.

I pull him closer. He rubs against me and we both groan at the same time. I wonder if he’s as hard as I am. If he feels like he could explode at any second. “Fuck,” I whisper when his mouth trails down my neck.

“I love touching you. Feeling your body heat against mine. Sometimes I want to touch you just to make sure you’re real.” His tongue swipes at my nipple and I already feel myself leaking in my underwear.

“I’m real,” I tell him. It’s the only thing I can think to say. Gabe’s better with people than I am. His words are always prettier than mine.

He licks my collarbone. Trails his mouth over to my armpit, and nuzzles it.

My erection jerks, and then I’m all reaction. I flip him over. Gabe grunts in shock, and then it’s my mouth on his nipple. My tongue on his collarbone. My face nuzzling into his armpit. He tastes like salt, and I can’t get enough of it.

“I’ll be right back.” I kiss his lips, try to stand up but he grabs my wrist.

“No. I’m not done with you yet.”

Another laugh falls from my lips. “I’m not done with you either.” After kissing him again, I push to my feet, and slide out of my underwear.

“Holy fuck, you’re sexy,” he says, his voice filled with a lust-induced rasp.

“And you’re not?” He really fucking is. He’s all slender features and straight lines. I don’t draw people but in this second, I want to draw Gabe. Want to see everything that makes him, him, and how it’s all put together.

I open the drawer on the other side of the bed, and grab lube and a condom. Gabe’s reaching for his boxer-briefs when I get back to him, but I stop him. “I wanna do it.”

He nods, something unreadable in his blue eyes. His eyes dart around the room, moving quickly, like he’s so eager for me he might burst out of his skin. It makes my body temperature go up. I’m overheating, ravenous for him.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be inside you.” He said before that he wished his first time had been with me. What I didn’t tell him was that I used to think mine would be with him. I wanted it to be.

“Luke,” he groans and squirms, like he’s restless for me, and it’s such a turn-on. “I want you inside me so fucking much.”

When I take his underwear off, there’s nothing slow about it. I jerk them down his legs. Drop them to the floor. His dick is long and hard. It bounces against his stomach and I can’t help but lean over and lick it, root to tip.

“Oh fuck,” Gabe says breathlessly.

I’m greedy for him, I can’t control it. It’s almost like I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly I’m lying down with him. We’re kissing and rubbing against each other. My finger teases him, pushes inside him, getting him ready for me.

I swallow every one of his moans, all his little noises. They’re my fuel, feeding me.

Then I kneel between his legs. My fingers shake as I roll the condom on, and then lube it. Gabriel holds his legs up, and I grab one of my pillows and shove it under his hips, making it easier.

I trace my finger around his hole one more time, feeling it tighten beneath my thumb.

Then, slowly, I push against him. He lets out a deep breath as I work my way inside his tight cave. “Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I know I’ll want to bust as soon as I get inside.

I toss the lube to Gabe. He squirts some into his hand while I get myself under control. Once he fists his own erection, it’s me pushing his legs back…and then I start to move, driving to the root of my erection. “Christ, Lucas. I can’t believe this is us. That you’re inside me.”

It doesn’t take long…my orgasm charging at me instead of creeping up. He’s so fucking tight. So hot…so incredible, looking up at me like I’m really someone. I want to be someone to him.

I lean forward and kiss him. Push my tongue into his mouth the same way I’m pushing into his body. My movements get quicker and quicker. Gabe’s breathing gets faster and faster. When he lets loose, and I feel him clench around me, my vision goes blurry and my body goes rigid. A second later, my orgasm slams into me, and then I’m falling on top of him, nothing but our heavy breathing in the air.

He starts, “That was…”

“Quick?”

“It wasn’t
that
fast.”

“Thank you.” But we both know it was pretty quick. Thankfully, he finished too. After pulling out of him, I get up and toss the condom into the trash before climbing back into bed with him. Gabe immediately wraps himself around me—arms and legs. He’s sticky with sweat and come. I like the way he feels, the way he smells.

Even more than that, I like him.

“I was going to say incredible. That was incredible.”

And it was. “It’ll be even better next time.” But really, that’s a lie. It was already perfect.

G
abriel
,

Holy fuck, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I hate this. I fucking hate it. Mom lost her job at the bar. The gas got turned off. I have no idea how long it’s been since Mom paid the bill if they shut it off. Aren’t there rules about that? Can they just turn your gas off and not worry about heat? Mom is losing her shit. I can’t get her to stop crying. All she keeps saying is how sorry she is, over and over. She’s sorry, she loves me, and that she wishes she was a better mom to me. That she wants me to have a better life than her, over and over and over. It’s all I fucking hear, even when I’m not in the same room with her. I don’t know what to do. I can’t get her to stop crying. I feel like such a wuss saying all of this to you, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to. All I want is for her to be happy. Is that too much to ask? For her to be happy, and sober and not to have to work so fucking hard. I just want things to be easier for her.

I wish we were eighteen. I wish we could get out of here. That I could make real money, and maybe things could be different for her. She could get sober, and I’d take her with me. You wouldn’t care. I know it. You’re too good a friend to care about something like that.

I wonder what it will be like when we move to Hollywood. What do you think it’ll be like?

Anyway. I’m going to shut the hell up. I’m being fucking stupid. Thanks for listening.

We got this.

Lucas