Too Far Gone (In Too Deep #2) (11 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Lara

Sloane’s long but cryptic text came in just as I was drifting past Jackson’s closet, eyeing the corner that Jake had told me about last night.

Lara.  Honeydoll. Thank you for letting me know you’re okay. You worried the sh*t out of me girl. We have a lot to talk about missy. But not over text because I’m gonna see you tonight. Jackson is probably going to tell you in two minutes that there’s an important dinner tonight at Buccieri. Caleb told him before I could get to you. But anyway it IS a very important dinner. I need you there in your prettiest dress. I’m sure you’re guessing what this is right now and you’re probably right but if you’re making any other assumptions DON’T because there are a LOT of things I have to talk to you about once we get a private moment. I love you
.

It was a message typed in code but having been her best friend for sixteen years, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Lara?” Jackson called from the bathroom.  “Listen, Caleb called me before about a – ”

“Dinner at Buccieri.  Just the word from Sloane, babe,” I called back, hearing him chuckle.  Dropping “babe” after a fight never failed to ease Jackson’s nerves.  He’d been careful with me since I’d come home, choosing his words wisely when he apologized about Dane and promised to “take care” of the situation without “doing anything illegal.”  He was still being cautious with me but I could easily get him back into his comfort zone.  I’d done this too many times.  “Know what it’s about?” I called back into the bathroom.

“Yeah.  You figure it out?”

“Shotgun wedding.”

“Duh.”

We laughed.  But my heart hurt a little.  Sloane getting married to Caleb made it real.  Despite what recent events had revealed about our men, she was choosing him.  Over me.  She’d told me not to make any assumptions but it was hard when she’d soon be Mrs. Caleb Weiss.

“Got a pick for me to wear?” I smirked when Jackson emerged in a towel.  A big grin spread his lips.

“Nah.  Wear what you wanna wear tonight.”

“I like when you dress me,” I said in a baby voice, silently revolting myself.

Jackson could barely hold back his delight as he pulled me into his wet chest.  “Man,” he gave a little growl.  “I fucking love you, Lara Kinsley, you know that?”

“Excuse me, I’m not a Kinsley yet.”

“You will be soon,” he murmured.

I wet my lips as I looked at him.  Maybe that was still true.

“God.  My fucking gorgeous fiancée,” Jackson shook his head at me, pushing my silk robe open and kissing my neck and then my lips.  “Come on, babe, get dressed.  You and I gotta get there early,” he said before disappearing into his closet.

I stared after him.

That closet was where he hid his second phone, my bloody shirt and the jump drive containing Gabrielle’s screaming voice.  He had instructed Jake to wait outside while he got it but just laughed when Jake went in anyway to find him pulling a shelf of shoes aside to reveal a small safe built into the wall.  Out of it, he took his other phone.  And in that closet, Jake watched the video, all the while ensuring that his vision was in focus, so that he could attempt to spot the lock combination when Jackson closed the safe back up.  But what he saw was a fingerprint-activated lock.

Only Jackson could open that safe.  Which meant that in order to get to what was inside, I was going to have to play a whole lot nicer than I had imagined.

~

Sloane was a beautiful bride in an ivory dress with a beaded, swingy skirt ending at her knees.  Caleb, according to Sawyer, was a “hipster-chic groom” in a vintage blue suit that I was shocked Sloane let him wear.  I was also shocked to see Caleb the one who was teary-eyed all night.  But it was their wedding, we were at our favorite restaurant in the world, and it was a night to start brand new memories, so why not?

Something was in the air, but we were all happy, joyous, smiling.  Sawyer was performing a terrible rendition of a John Legend song and even Jackson was laughing, clapping on as Sawyer tried to reach the high notes.

And across the long table, Jackson’s heavy arm draped around me, I gazed at Jake.  He was so incredibly handsome in his crisp grey suit and black skinny tie.  I watched him watch me, the music and laughter floating around us, entrancing us all into the best moods of our lives.  I probably wasn’t the only one grappling with drama lately.  We all needed this moment.

“You know what?” Jackson whispered in my ear.

There was a soft tug at my heart as I blinked away from Jake.  “What?” I asked, looking up at Jackson.

“Maybe we don’t need a big wedding either.”

A knot balled in my throat.  “Jackson Kinsley forgoing a massive spectacle of a party?” I teased.  “What would the magazines photograph then?”

He laughed.  “Fuck it.  This – all of this right now – it makes me realize that I don’t care about anything besides devoting my life to you as a husband.  I’ve done a lot of things for you that you don’t even know about and I’m never going to tell you, because that’s just my job.  To protect our love no matter what.”

I gazed into his sparkling blue eyes.  It would’ve been a beautiful speech if our love didn’t involve killing young girls.

“So what are you saying, Jackson? You wanna make this a joint wedding?”

He grinned.  “No.  But after all the shit we’ve been through this year, all I want is to declare my love for you so that we can go back to being the way we were before all of this started.”

I took his hand between mine and fixed my gaze at him.  “There’s something you have to do before we can think of any of that.”

Jackson frowned.  “What? Just say the word.”

“Jackson, you should know.  What’s the one thing hanging over my head? No – the
two
things hanging over my head, that you
threw
at me the day I thought I wanted to leave you.”

Jackson exhaled, bowing his head and closing his eyes.  He knew exactly what I was talking about.

“Jackson, you have to admit that keeping those things was fucked up.”

“It was.  I admit it, it was.”

My heart was slamming inside my chest but I didn’t show it as I sat up to face him.  “Then you know that you have to get rid of those things.  In front of me.  That’s the only way I’m going to be able to feel like we can try to be us again.”  With my hands slipping up his thigh, I had him.  As his lips pressed against mine, he pulled his chair under the table, taking my hand and sliding it onto his package.  He groaned into my mouth when I cupped him.  But after a few seconds, he winced and took my hand away.

“Fuck,” he breathed, laughing as he raked his fingers into my hair and pressed a kiss to my forehead.  “You can’t do that to me now.  I have to make a speech soon.”

I smiled.  “Fine.”

Jackson looked at me solemnly.  “But we’re going to continue this tonight, babe.  ‘Cause I really can’t wait any longer, alright? You promise?”

I gazed at him and swallowed hard. “I promise.”

~

I was in tears by the time Jake found me in the bathroom – the same one I’d met him in the night of his welcome back party.

“Whoa, hey.  Easy,” he murmured, cupping my cheeks in his hands and kissing every inch of my face.  “What is it, Lara? Why are you crying?”

I was barely able to speak.  I stared at the floor and breathed deep, trying to get rid of the hiccups.  When I could finally look up at Jake, the concern in his gorgeous eyes made me hurt all over again.  “You know I love you right?”

He wiped at my tears, which came in endless streams.  “I know you do, Lara.”

“I love you more than I know how to say.”  My words were staggered as I put my hands over his.  “I didn’t even know this existed.  I already thought I knew what love was but you made me realize that wasn’t it and I’m just thankful that I didn’t have to go too long before finding the real kind because this – what you make me think and feel and want to be – that’s the real thing.  That’s the love everyone deserves to know.”

Exhaling, Jake kissed me – deep, passionately, with the signature comfort that managed to ease my tears for a second until he pulled away.

“Jake, listen… I need you to please forgive me for what I might have to do,” I murmured into his shoulder as he held me.  “I just want us to be together no matter where or how, I just want it.  I don’t care about money or a house, I don’t need a car, I don’t a phone, I don’t need any of that.  I just want to wake up next to you every morning and know that I’m yours and we can walk outside together and kiss on the street or the beach or wherever we are.  But I don’t know how else to get to what we need from Jackson besides to…”

“Stop.  Just stop, Lara,” Jake interrupted me, his hands firm on my jaw.  With searing intensity, he looked me straight in the eye, easily shutting me up.  “Listen to me.  I’ve been all in for us.  This entire time.  I’m at the point now where I’m already fantasizing about what we’ll do together on a random Tuesday or what I’ll cook for you when you turn twenty-seven.  Because this is starting to feel real to me now.  It feels like we’re almost there.”  He swallowed hard, emotion gleaming wet in his eyes.  “So what you have to do, Lara – do it. If you think it means that this will be over soon and I can have you the way I’m meant to have you, then do it.  You’re right.  This is the love worth fighting tooth and nail for.  So do what you have to do and when you’re done with it, come back to me.  Where you belong.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lara

I downed half a drink right before we left the wedding – to loosen my nerves as much as I could without losing focus.  Jackson was a man possessed, his hands all over me before we even got into the car.

He had my dress half off before we even got out into the duplex.  The second we stepped inside his cock was out.  Bending me over the kitchen counter, he groped my breasts, thrusting against me through my skirt, growling like a hungry dog.  “Fuck, Lara, I’ve waited so fucking long,” he moaned.  “Take off your dress for me, baby, let me touch you.”

When he stepped back from me, I turned around and pushed my dress down, past my hips till they fell around my feet, leaving me in my black panties.  Jackson’s eyes were aflame as he took me in.  Stroking his shaft, he gave a roar to the ceiling before starting back toward me. But when he reached for me, I swatted him away.

“Jackson, there’s something I need you to do first.”

He groaned, closing his eyes, concentrating on breathing in and out.  Finally, he nodded up the stairs.  “Walk ahead of me so I can look at you.”

I obliged.  Sauntering slowly up the stairs, I felt in control.  I kept myself two steps above Jackson, shimmying my panties halfway down my hips and listening to him groan before I yanked them back on.  I needed him riled.  So worked up he couldn’t think straight.

I tossed my hair back once I reached the hallway, glancing back a few times to catch Jackson’s ravenous, wild-eyed expression.  When I got to the bedroom, I turned around and kept my sultry gaze fixed on him as I slid my hand down the front of my panties and rubbed.

“That’s right, baby.  Get yourself nice and wet for me,” Jackson licked his lips, watching me touch myself as he shed the rest of his clothes.  “Mm… yeah, babe, get yourself ready for this cock.”

Rolling my head back, I tried.

I thought of Jake’s lips, his tongue, the way it ran up and down the length of my pussy as I stood over him on his couch.  I thought of the first time we were in that bathroom together at Buccieri, when his hard cock had pulsed against the back of my throat.  I moaned as I remembered the way he dominated me in the conference room at the Monarch Hotel.  I thought of him and suddenly I was hot, breathless.  Almost ready.

“Ah-ah.”  I shoved Jackson away when he touched me.  Fire flamed in his blue eyes but when I smirked he exhaled and wet his lips with a grin.

“Forgot how much I like that when I know it’s just a tease,” he rasped, stroking slow on his heavy cock now.  “The shirt and the jump drive.  That’s all you want?”

“Yes.”

“Stay right here,” he murmured, his stare lingering between my thighs.

“No.  I said you would do every step in front of me.  I want to watch it go away with my own two eyes.”  I stood my ground when Jackson cast a steely gaze on me.  A crooked grin spread my lips as I pushed down my panties, letting them fall to the floor.  With a little flick of my foot, I kicked them up at him.  All he did was open and close his palm to catch them, his eyes never leaving me, even as he brought my panties to his mouth and breathed in my scent.

That was it.  He was done.

“Get the fuck over here,” he muttered with a laugh, turning on the fireplace on his way to the closet.  I followed him, my heart feeling several sizes too large as it pounded my chest, like it could shatter my ribs.  I had no idea if this would work.  My entire life banked on this one moment – on Jackson’s lust consuming him, being a greater priority than anything else in the world.

“My, my,” I drawled when he moved the shelf to reveal the safe – small, black and much sleeker than any of the ones I saw in movies.  My racing pulse had me dizzy now, its hammering beat throttling my ears, but I still managed to flash a playful look as Jackson smirked over his shoulder at me.

“Used it to store your engagement ring,” he said as he pressed his index finger down on the electronic lock.

This was it.

Everything in my vision zoned in on the little, black square and I suddenly heard nothing, not even the beat of my own heart as I watched Jackson wait for a click, wrap his hand around the lever and then pull down till the door was wide open.

Before he reached inside, I grabbed his arm and yanked him toward me.

“I just needed to know that you would do it,” I breathed, wrapping my fingers around his hot cock and immediately stroking.  He groaned into my mouth, falling into me, pushing me out of the closet and onto the bed.  Sliding myself up the mattress, I reached for the drawer, pulled out a condom and tossed it at him.  “Baby steps,” I murmured to his incredulous face.  When he only stared at me, huffing and puffing, I snapped my legs shut.  That got the condom on fast.

“Now open them back up for me,” Jackson demanded.  His gleaming eyes refused to blink as I spread my legs again.  His mouth hanging open, his breathing ragged, he slid a finger into me and immediately growled.  “
Fuck,
yes.  Fuck, that’s the tight pussy I’ve missed for so long.”  He closed his eyes as he withdrew his finger, sucking its tip.  “I’m gonna fuck you so good, babe... “ He lowered himself onto me, blowing gusts of wind through his teeth as he rubbed the head of his cock against my pussy.  Over my heaving chest, I watched a million little expressions twitch about Jackson’s face as he finally slid himself into me, the tiniest bit at a time.  My lips parted more with every inch, until he was all the way inside me.

And from there, he went wild, thrusting with abandon and letting every noise on his tongue spill with fire from his lips.  “I love you.  I fucking love you,” he grunted on repeat, his stare blazing into my eyes.  I didn’t close them.  The weight of Jackson’s body on top of me, I didn’t even try to pretend that he was Jake.  There was just no way.  No point at all.  They were nothing alike, felt nothing alike.  Filled my body with polar opposite sensations, made me two completely different people – one hollow, cold, the other thrilled for life.

As Jackson rocked into me, I told myself one thing.

That it meant nothing.

It was the meaningless sex I was supposed to have found to save our engagement, my world.  But instead, I’d found Jake and uncovered every last lie and deceit that Jackson had pulled in the name of our so-called love.  I had realized the man I’d slept beside for years was just a master of disguise.  A brazen, manipulative egomaniac who thought nothing of sinking me into a hole so deep and dark I never thought I’d get out.

And yet I had because through Jackson, I’d found Jake.  If the years of lies and torment were what I had to pay to find a man so truly matched to my soul, then I’d call it even with the world.

“Say it to me, Lara.”

Jackson’s gravelly words brought me back to his eyes.

“Tell me you love me, Lara, I want to hear you say it.”

I gazed up at him, fascinated by the man who had once been my entire life.  Now, he was nothing more than a stranger whom I was minutes from saying goodbye to.

Or rather, seconds.

Jackson didn’t have to hear me say the words to come.  With a sudden jerk, he shivered out a groan, whispering a string of satisfied “
fuck
”s before collapsing all of his weight onto my body.  He kissed my lower lip, my chin, my neck, my breasts.  He didn’t take off the condom before rolling onto his back to sleep.

The way he always did after sex.

With the first snore, my heart was pounding again.  I tested him, shaking the bed.  Once, then twice before slipping away and into his closet.

The safe still open, I reached inside.  Shirt.  Jump drive.

Phone.

I tossed the first two items in the fire on my way out of the room, shocked that my hand didn’t so much as shake while gripping the piece of flat, cold metal that could very well put Jackson in prison for the rest of his life.

A fucking phone.  Still charged.  Still working.  Still open to his sex tape with Gabby.

Downstairs, I pulled just my trench coat on before leaving the duplex for the very last time.