Too Dangerous to Desire (24 page)

He closed the door with his hand and then blocked it with his body. “And why the devil not?”

There was a dark look in his eyes, almost threat
ening. But Evelyn was used to seeing that look whenever she challenged the man. She wasn’t in
timidated by it anymore.

“I don’t want to marry you, Adam.”

“Why?”

Because you don’t love me!

“I want to have control over my own life,” she said.

“Did you hear me?” He crossed his thick arms over his chest. “You might be pregnant.”

“I heard you.” She mimicked his posture. “But I will deal with the babe—if I have one—alone.”

His features darkened even more. “The hell you will.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“That’s my babe.” He pointed to her midriff. “And it’s my responsibility to take care of you both.”

“You don’t know that I’m even going to have a babe.”

“I’ll know for sure by the time we reach America.”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll get married.”

“No, we won’t.”

“Damn it, Evie! Don’t be foolish!”

She was more disturbed by the man than the outburst. If she married him to protect the babe, she would have to live with the knowledge that he did not care for her; that he never would. But she would one day care for him, she was sure. It was just another form of ownership in the end. He would own her heart, but never love her in return. And what sort of a life was that?

“I won’t marry you, Adam. It’s my final word.”

“Evie, I
can’t
abandon you.”

“I know you feel a sense of duty to protect me, but I release you—”

“Damn it, you can’t release me from my duty! It’s
my
duty. And I won’t release myself from it!”

She huffed. “Then I suppose you’ll have to find some other damsel in distress to comfort, because I won’t be a substitute for your late wife!”

Adam looked at her aghast. “What?”

She was quick to group her features together in quiet repose. “I know you regret Teresa’s drown ing. I know you feel guilty for her loss. But you
don’t need to be beside me always to keep me safe, to keep what happened to Teresa from happening to me.”

His every breath was uneven, his eyes stormy.

Evelyn rallied her strength. “You’ve already helped me, Adam. You took me away from the prince. And I thank you for it. But to follow me around all the rest of my days, to protect me from potential threats is fruitless. It won’t bring Teresa back.”

Adam moved away from the door.

Cleary she’d struck him with greater might than she’d anticipated. “You’re trapped in the past, Adam. I understand the grief, the guilt you feel. But I don’t want to live in the past. My own past is so dreary. I want to look toward the future. And I can’t do that with you.”

Quietly she walked out of the room.

nm

dam wandered through the castle
causeways.

He had just ended his morning training session with Evelyn. Over the past two weeks she had much improved in both skill and confidence, for with each ability she mastered, she grew surer of herself. But the pleasure he had found in watch
ing her progress was tempered by an unsettling thought.

I won’t be a substitute for your late wife!

He stilled, knocked insensible by the memory of her provoking words. What did she mean by the accusation? He wasn’t like the dastardly prince, seeking a replacement for his late wife. Evelyn was nothing like Teresa in manner or appearance, so the argument was rubbish. Besides, one cannot recapture the past.

You’re trapped in the past, Adam.

Once more the memory of Evelyn’s words dis armed him. He rubbed the back of his neck to ease
the stiff muscles. He was haunted by the past; that much was true. And rightly so: he had failed to save Teresa from drowning. The weight of guilt was his penance. However, his desire to make Evelyn his wife had nothing to do with the past. He only wanted to do the right thing by marrying her. She might still have a babe.

It haunted him; the image of Evelyn alone and struggling in America with his child. And the stubborn woman wouldn’t even think of wedding him for her own protection.

Adam moved through the keep with brisk strides. He intended to convince her of the sound
ness of his proposal. Perhaps after a few days in a strange new world, she might reconsider her avowed independence? He certainly hoped so.

“My lord.”

Adam stopped and eyed the butler as he ap
proached. “Yes, Jenkins?”

“There is someone here to see the duke—about you.”

The prince!

“Who is it, Jenkins?”

“He would not give his name.”

Adam’s thoughts danced. “Where is he?”

“I bade him to wait by the door; I posted a foot
man to guard him.”

“And Lady Evelyn?”

“She is secure upstairs with the duchess.”

Adam nodded. “I’ll deal with him, Jenkins. Don’t trouble the duke.”

“Very good, my lord.”

Adam marched toward the entranceway, fist
ing his palms. His temples pounded. A hazy darkness came over his eyes, a thrumming desire for blood filled him.

“Capt’n! You’re alive!”

Lieutenant Eric Faraday greeted him at the door.

Slowly Adam uncurled his fingers and stretched out his hand. “It’s good to see you again, Lieutenant.”

Adam dismissed the footman. A part of him was relieved to see the loyal lieutenant again. Yet another part of him was disappointed, for thrash
ing the repulsive prince was a very attractive thought.

Faraday grasped his hand in a hearty hand
shake. “When I found the cottage destroyed, I searched for you to no avail. I resolved to contact His Grace about your disappearance. But I didn’t think to find you here. I thought you were es
tranged from your brother.”

“We’ve had a reconciliation.”

“I’m glad to hear it, sir. But what happened to the cottage?”

Adam said with considerable ire, “There was a quarrel.”

“Why didn’t you come to me for help?”

“It wasn’t something you could help me with, Lieutenant.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe.” The lieutenant low
ered his voice. “I have news about Black Hawk.”

Once more the pressure in Adam’s head spiked. “What about the cutthroat?”

“He’s been spotted, sir.”

“Where?”

“South Africa.”

The pressure in Adam’s head diminished. Black Hawk’s whereabouts and identity had not truly been revealed. Adam was grateful for that. He didn’t need a scandal on his hands just before he set sail with Evelyn for America. And there would surely be one if word ever spread that the duke’s brother-in-law was the most dreaded pirate cap
tain on the high seas.

“Africa?” Bemused, Adam said, “How did you hear about him in Africa?”

“After the debacle at Raven’s Cross, the men and I returned to the ship as ordered. Another vessel had moored not two hours before, the crew fresh from Africa and telling tales of a corsair with the heart of a devil.”

“More ghost stories,” said Adam dryly.

“Aye, sir, but I still thought you should hear it. We’ve had no luck hunting the rogue in English waters.”

“So perhaps we should try African waters, is that it?”

“I don’t see the harm, Capt’n.”

Adam sighed. He had to feign frustration to keep the lieutenant in ignorance. “I’m tired of chasing shadows, Faraday.”

“I understand, sir, but it’s reasonable to think the pirate might be near South Africa.”

“How so?”

“Well, it’s been four years since we’ve heard a credible account of Black Hawk’s whereabouts. Most folks believe the villain’s dead, but perhaps he’s just raiding distant waters. There is the lucra
tive slave trade in America to consider. It might tempt a roving buccaneer.”

Ever the soldier, Faraday. Once committed to a mission, he would see it through to completion. It was one of the traits Adam had found so admi
rable in the man.

But it was time to stop hounding ghosts.

“We’re not going to hunt Black Hawk anymore, Lieutenant.”

The older man paled. “But why?”

“I want you to pay the crew, Lieutenant. Tell the men to settle down and be happy. The search for the pirate captain is over; I have another duty on my hands.”

Faraday eyed the stack of crates by the door. “Are you leaving England?”

“For a time, yes.”

For forever, in truth—if he could convince a certain headstrong woman to be his bride.

“Is it the woman?” said Faraday. “Your ward?”

Adam didn’t want to talk about his “ward,” but he trusted the lieutenant enough to admit, “Yes, it is.”

The color returned to the senior man’s fea
tures, red-hot at that. “Begging your pardon, sir, but what about your duty to justice? To the crew? We’ve been with you for years. We’ve chased the pirate Black Hawk like he was the devil himself. And now we’re going to let the scoundrel go free?”

“You can sell the ship, Faraday. Or captain it yourself, if you’d like.” Then, thinking of Black Hawk: “Turn the rig into a merchant vessel.”

“But Capt’n, these men aren’t merchants, they’re men of war!”

“The war with Black Hawk is over.”

Faraday glared at him. “You’ll forsake your loyal crew for a woman? I didn’t think you so ignoble.”

The pressure in Adam’s head started to mount again. “It’s not that simple, Lieutenant.”

He didn’t want to disappoint the lieutenant or the crew, but it was impossible to apprehend Black Hawk. And to travel the world in search of a ghost or a fraud like Hagley was fruitless. The
men would never find satisfaction in justice, for the men would never arrest the corsair. It was better for them all—even if they didn’t know it now—to give up the empty pursuit and search for contentment elsewhere.

The lieutenant demanded, “
How
can you sur
render and allow Black Hawk to plunder the seas?”

Blast it! How to reveal the truth to the lieuten
ant without revealing the
truth
?

“Black Hawk is dead.”

Faraday appeared stunned. “What?”

“I discovered the notorious rogue is dead.” And it was true in a way. The Hawkins brothers had retired from piracy. “Now do you understand why the search for the brigand is futile?”

“How did he die? When?”

“You must trust me, Lieutenant. I have the news on very good authority.”

“But the report from Africa—”

“Is wrong.” Adam offered his hand once more. “You’ve been a good and faithful lieutenant—and friend. I thank you. Pay the men well; I will cover all expenses. And express my gratitude to them, too.”

The older man stared at Adam’s hand, a depart
ing gesture. “Aye, Capt’n.”
*

Evelyn cradled the baby in her arms. Henry Westmore, the heir to the dukedom, was sound asleep, sweet as a sugar plum.

“You got your wish, Belle. It’s a boy.”

The duchess smiled. She was still bedridden. Ordered to rest by both the doctor and her hus
band, she wasn’t permitted visitors. However, Evelyn was departing for America tonight, so an exception was made to allow the women to say farewell.

“He is a darling, isn’t he?” said Mirabelle. “So quiet, too.”

Evelyn chuckled softly. “Why the name Henry?”

“In honor of a dear friend.”

With care Evelyn returned the tiny creature to the cradle. She then looked at the duchess and struggled to keep her composure.

“I suppose it’s time to say good-bye,” said Mira
belle. She, too, appeared woebegone. “Do you have everything you need for your trip?”

“Yes, I’m prepared.”

“Are you sure? You seem preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Is it Adam?”

Even the pangs of childbirth and a fever had not dampened the woman’s sharp eye.

Evelyn approached the bed. “Adam asked me to marry him.”

However, she neglected to confess the reason for the man’s proposal: a babe. And while Evelyn wasn’t even sure she was going to have a babe, she was determined not to marry Adam even if she was enceinte. She would not fix one mistake by making another.

“How did you answer Adam?”

“I said no.”

“Why?”

Evelyn shrugged. “He doesn’t care for me.”

He still loves his late wife.

“Are you sure?” said Mirabelle.

“He only wants to control me. He believes he failed to keep his late wife safe, so now he wants to keep me safe in her stead.”

“I see.” The duchess touched her hand. “Do you love him?”

“No!”

“You seem very determined to convince me of that. Are you sure you don’t love him?”

Evelyn’s heart pulsed. “Are you suggesting I accept his proposal?”

“I don’t want to meddle; it’s not my place. I only want to be sure you make the right choice. Don’t let fear decide your fate.”

She looked at the duchess, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t want a man to control you, right?”

Evelyn nodded with confidence.

“You want freedom? The right to make your own decisions?”

“Yes,” said Evelyn. “I want all of that.”

“Then don’t let
fear
control you. Make sure you decline Adam’s offer because you do not love him, and not because you are afraid to love him.”