Too Cool for This School (26 page)

I walked toward the school just assuming that we’d talk in the meeting room next to the secretary.

“No,” Leslie said. “We need to go where nobody can hear us.”

I didn’t even know the class captains did that.

“Do we need to find Fiona?” I asked.

Leslie snorted. “She’s a fifth grader. She can’t help us.”

“Yeah. We need to discuss sixth-grade issues,” Robin said.

“I can’t believe you didn’t call and warn me about this,” Derek said. “Is that what your friend was mad about?”

I couldn’t believe that Derek expected me to call him. Why should I have warned him? Was this related to the crush he had on me? Because he wasn’t even in my class. As a seventh grader, he was beyond the list. Didn’t he know that?

I followed the other class captains all the way to the back of school grounds. I’d assumed we’d stop when we got there, but Leslie slipped through a fence and entered somebody’s backyard.

“Do you live here?” I asked.

Leslie glanced at me like that was a very stupid question.

“I live here,” Derek said.

Ooh. That was surprising. Derek had a big pool and an enormous and perfectly groomed backyard with a large number of lawn chairs, all built-in outdoor grilling area, and canvas-covered hot tub. I hadn’t realized his family was so rich.

“Let’s sit,” Robin said.

We dragged the lawn chairs into a circle. In the distance, I could hear the warning bell ring.

“Let me just mention that this is off the record,” Leslie said. “Anything that happens here will be forgotten once we enter school grounds. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Derek said.

“Agreed,” Robin said.

Everybody looked at me. “Agreed?”

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we had meetings off the record next to Derek’s big pool when Leslie pulled a piece of paper out of her backpack. It was the insult list. “Did you write these?” she asked, shaking it at me.

I took the paper and looked over the insults. Reading them again, one after the other in Mint’s handwriting, made them sound meaner than when I’d read them the first time.

“I didn’t write any of these,” I said, trying to hand the list back to her.

Robin refused to take it.

“Did you put the list together?” Leslie asked.

“No,” I said.

“Do you know who did?” Derek asked.

I was stunned that Derek had asked me such a hard question. I thought he had a crush on me and would try to help me more.

“Maybe,” I answered, crossing, then uncrossing my legs.

“Either you know or don’t know,” Leslie said. Then she turned to Derek and touched his thigh. “Great question.”

“Who put it together?” Robin asked.

I didn’t answer.

“You have to tell us,” Leslie said.

Did I really?

“I think it’s just a big misunderstanding,” I said.

Leslie read from the list.

“We had a gum incident with the class-captain photo last week,” Robin said. “It’s totally related.”

This really surprised me. “Somebody put gum on your picture?”

Derek pointed to himself. “Somebody put gum on my face.”

I had no idea people were vandalizing our class-captain photo with gum. But I was pretty sure Mint hadn’t done it, even though she did chew gum.

“I think Ava made the list,” Derek said.

I tried to keep my face from making a reaction.

“And I think Mint wrote the insults,” Leslie said.

I stared blankly at Derek’s pool as the late bell rang.

“I can’t be too late for class,” I explained. “My mom will kill me.”

Robin stood up and got really mad at me. “Let’s not drag our mothers into this.”

I didn’t think I was really doing that. “Okay.”

Robin continued to yell at me. “This has never happened in the history of Rio Chama Middle School! It’s embarrassing that somebody would do something so stupid and mean! And we can’t have a class captain who’s involved.”

I stood up to defend myself. “Well, I’m not involved.”

“Prove it!” Robin said. “Tell us who made the list. Tell us who put the list in all the desks.”

I looked at Robin, then at Leslie, then at Derek.

“Is it the same person who made the list?” Leslie asked.

“Was it Mint?” Robin asked.

I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to rat on anybody. And I couldn’t believe I was thinking this, but I would much rather have been in my drama-filled classroom than Derek’s drama-filled backyard pool area.

“I’ve got to get to class,” I said.

“You’ve got to tell us!” Leslie said. “If you don’t, it’s a form of class-captain betrayal.”

This was too much yelling. I hated yelling.

“We need to take action,” Robin said.

“Whoa,” Derek said. “I don’t know that we need to do that.”

It was about time he came to my defense.

“The sixth graders had a meltdown,” Derek said. “If Lane tells us what she knows, we should be cool with that and just move on.”

I stood there.

“I don’t know. I think we need to take
some
action,” Robin said.

“Yeah,” Leslie agreed. “Until you tell us who wrote the list and put it in everybody’s desks, you’re on probation.”

“That means you don’t participate in any party activities, planning or otherwise,” Robin said.

“Yeah,” Leslie said. “Your mood isn’t officially organic anymore.”

I didn’t even know class captains could be put on probation. “For how long?”

“Until you tell us what you know,” Robin said.

So that basically meant I could be on probation the entire time I was class captain, because I didn’t think I would ever tell anybody what I knew.

Leslie and Robin hustled out of the yard and I stood there with Derek.

“I can help you with this,” Derek said.

It was too much stress.

“Did Ava put the lists in the desks?” he asked.

I stopped breathing.

“Just say her name if I’m right,” he said.

I felt hot.

“Okay. Just nod if it was Ava,” he pressed.

That was when I took in a big breath of air, and the smell of chlorine hit me wrong and made me so dizzy my stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Then something very regrettable happened. Before I could excuse myself or find a garbage can or move away from the pool, I puked in Derek’s backyard.

“Lane!” He stepped back so it wouldn’t splatter on his shoes.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry,” I said, covering my mouth. That was when I realized that some of my puke actually landed in the pool. I watched as my breakfast cereal floated and broke apart into smaller disgusting clumps.

“Me too,” Derek said. “We just had it cleaned.”

“I need to go home,” I said, feeling as if I was going to cry. This was totally embarrassing. “I need to stop talking about this.”

“Okay. But don’t you trust me?” Derek asked. “I mean, I spied for you.”

Derek needed to stop with the pressure tactics. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “I need to call my mom.”

“Yeah,” he said, taking a quick examination of the spreading puke spot in his pool. “You do.”

25

When my mom came to get me at school, I was kind enough and smart enough to suggest that Mint come home with us again.

“I can’t believe you’re both sick at the same time. Maybe it
is
the flu,” my mom said. “And right before the big party.”

“You should probably cancel it,” Mint said.

I was surprised to hear that. Things must have been pretty rough for her in Mr. Guzman’s class that morning.

“Let’s not make that decision right now,” my mom said. “You’ve spent a whole month building friendships. It would be a tragedy if you didn’t get the chance to say goodbye. Plus, we’ve already bought the hot dogs.”

Little did she know that the tragedy had already happened,
and all Mint’s “friendships” had gone up in flames. And it was doubtful hot dogs could save them.

And so Mint created a sickbed on the couch and I stayed in my bedroom and we did not talk about school or the list or the possibly canceled party.

But I did attempt some damage control by talking on the phone.

After having three conversations and listening to Ava’s voice mail, I knew for certain that at least five people would be at Mint’s going-away party: Me, Lucia, Todd, Jagger, and Mint. I felt bad that more people weren’t coming. But when you write a bunch of insulting things about people and they find out about them, there’s not much that can be done.

When it was time for dinner, my mom came into my room with a bowl of soup and some crackers. I thought I
might get tired of staying in bed. But I didn’t feel like that at all. I found the time alone relaxing.

“You don’t have to finish the whole bowl,” my mom said, setting it on a TV stand next to my bed.

“Okay,” I said.

“Do you mind if we sit and talk?” she asked.

I shook my head and she sat down next to me.

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

I shoved a cracker into my mouth. “I don’t think so.”