Too Close to the Sun (59 page)

Taking up his coffee cup, Edward took a sip from it and shook his head in distaste. ‘Coffee’s cold,’ he said. ‘How’s yours?’ Without waiting for Grace to make any response – which she did not attempt to do – he rang the bell for the maid. Very soon Effie was there, slipping into the room and facing him as he turned towards her.

‘You rang, sir.’ She did not turn in Grace’s direction, though Grace kept her eyes fixed upon her. Grace wondered when she had got back; it must have been late last night after she, Grace, had gone to bed, or this morning before she had risen. Obviously it had not been possible for Effie to get word to her. Had her message been delivered to Kester? If so, what message had he sent back? And where was it? But perhaps it was only a verbal message … The questions went through Grace’s mind, and still she kept her eyes on the girl, willing her to turn to her and give some sign – a direct glance would suffice – but there was nothing;
Effie kept her gaze intent upon her master. For a few moments Grace hovered on the brink of asking the girl whether she had bought for her the oil paint and linseed oil – something was needed; anything to get an acknowledgement of the errand – but she held back, afraid. And then Edward was speaking. The coffee was cold, he said, could she bring some fresh? And the girl nodded yes and withdrew. When she had gone, Edward looked closely at Grace, and said with a lingering frown:

‘Is anything wrong?’

She looked at him sharply. Why had he asked such a question? Had she given herself away in some manner?

‘It’s just that you looked a little – a little tense when Effie came in,’ he said. ‘I wondered why you should look at her like that.’ He pushed his coffee cup away from him. ‘I shan’t want any more coffee, mind you,’ he said. ‘I haven’t got time for it.’

‘Then you needn’t have bothered to get more on my account,’ Grace said. ‘I shan’t want more either.’

‘Oh, you can speak,’ he said. ‘I thought for a minute there you’d lost your tongue.’ He studied her and she felt herself colouring under his gaze. ‘Tell me,’ he said after a moment, ‘what will you be doing with yourself today?’

Her glance was cold as she lifted her face to him. ‘Are you remotely interested, Edward, in what I do?’

‘What? Of course I’m interested. You’re my wife, aren’t you?’ He put down his knife and fork, took a last drink of his coffee and wiped his mouth with his napkin. As he tossed the napkin down, he added, ‘I hope when this is all over we can get something – recapture something – of what we once had.’

Grace thought, of what we once had? What did we have? We never had anything.

Edward stood up. ‘I must get going. A very important meeting in Redbury. I can’t afford to be late. Rhind will
have got the carriage ready.’ He stood in silence for a few moments then said with a faint smile, ‘I won’t give you a husbandly kiss, my dear. I somehow have the feeling it wouldn’t be welcomed.’ He put his head a little on one side. ‘And to tell you the truth, I don’t think I’m really so eager to start giving you demonstrations of a spouse’s affection. If you see what I mean. I’ve no doubt that that’ll change in time, but for the moment …’

He let the unfinished sentence hang in the air. Grace looked down at her plate. She just wanted him to leave. As soon as he had gone she would call Effie to her and hear what the girl had to say. Then, if Kester was able to meet her – and she had no doubt at all that he would – she would get dressed and pack a few things for Billy and herself, and then they would get away. She would never have to breakfast with Edward again. She would never sit at this table again. She would never again set foot in this house.

And now Grace could see on the rim of her peripheral vision that Edward had crossed to the door. She gritted her teeth, waiting. In just a few moments he would be gone.

But no, still he hovered there, and then the next moment he was coming to her side. His hand came out towards her, and she flinched.

‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘Don’t do that. You moved as if I were about to strike you. Why should you do that? I merely wanted to give you this.’

And a movement in front of her face drew her gaze to the envelope that he laid down beside her breakfast plate. It was the envelope addressed to Kester, the one she had given to Effie.

She felt her heart lurch; it was as if her blood were stilled, cold, in her veins. She stared at the envelope with its gaping flap.

‘Yes,’ Edward said, ‘it’s come as a bit of a shock to you, I can see. I thought it might.’ He put out his hand, took up the
envelope and withdrew the letter. Grace heard the rustle of the paper as he opened it up. Then she heard him say, ‘Quite touching, really, I suppose – for someone who is not me, of course.’ He began to read the words that Grace had written: ‘“
Dear Kester, Billy and I are in need of your help. I cannot go into the reasons now, but I beg you to believe me when I say that our situation is desperate, and that we must get away from here without delay
…”’ He paused, then said, ‘This is quite dramatic, you know. Anybody must agree with that. And quite heart-wrenching too. Unfortunately, it’s not going to happen. Your Mr Fairman isn’t going to be there under the church tower, is he?’ He paused. ‘Is he? No, he’s not. I can tell you that now. But there, now that you’ve seen this,’ he dropped the letter, letting it fall beside her plate – ‘you won’t be expecting him to be there, will you?’

She could do nothing but sit there, listening, while her heart pounded in her breast and her pulse beat in her ears so loudly that she thought it must drown out all other sound. She could hear the faint smile in his voice as he continued:

‘So there won’t be any rush for you to go and get into your travelling clothes or start packing your bags. Do you understand that, Grace?’ And now he leaned over her. ‘You’re not going anywhere. Unless you go with me, or you go with my permission. How do you think I got where I am today? I got here in the house because I set my mind on certain things. And as I told you, I usually get what I want, and what I get I keep.’

Her heart would not stop pounding in her breast. And through it all the questions poured through her brain. How? How had he got the letter?

And then the answer came, as if she had spoken her thoughts aloud.

‘And don’t be cross with young Effie,’ he said. ‘It wasn’t
her fault. I saw her as she was leaving. I was just coming in as she came out of the drive, and I stopped the carriage and asked her where she was going with such purpose.’ He paused. ‘Aren’t you curious to know what was said? Well, anyway, she said she was to go into Corster and buy you some oil paint. I couldn’t believe it. I have to admit that it sounded very strange. I mean you haven’t touched your painting in ages. So, I thought, how did it come about, this sudden desire to immerse yourself in your painting again? And when Effie told me of the few little items you wanted, I was even more puzzled. For so few things you were sending the girl all that way. Surprising? Yes, I found it somewhat surprising, I have to admit. But then, after more questioning of the girl it came out that there was more than one goal to her errand. And eventually I got hold of the letter. You mustn’t blame her, you understand? Once I’d read the letter I told her she was to come back
late
last night, to get the last train back. I’ve no idea what she spent her time doing. She probably went to see her family; she said she comes from Corster.’ He paused. ‘I hope you’re taking all this in, are you?’

Grace did not answer. She was looking down now at the open letter lying before her.

Edward said, ‘I told her she was not to tell you that she’d given me the letter. I told her on pain of my taking away her reference. So you can’t blame her. You don’t, do you?’

Grace drew in her breath and tried to speak, but could not make a sound. Her lips moved, but no sound came.

‘No,’ Edward said. ‘She’s a poor simple girl who was only doing what her master instructed.’ Now he turned and started away back towards the door. ‘Oh, and by the way,’ he came to a brief halt and turned back to her, ‘ – I saw Billy this morning coming from the kitchen after his breakfast. I spoke about your keeping him back from school. He seemed rather surprised that I should know about it, and
was a little reluctant to speak of it. I soon persuaded him to, though.’

Now Grace found her voice: ‘What have you done?’ she burst out, raising her head to him.

‘Now, now, there’s no need for panic.’ He smiled. ‘He just realized that I knew more about it than he’d imagined. Anyway, I told him he should go to school after all. So he went off. We can’t have his education suffer because of your foolishness.’

He opened the door, then turned back once more.

‘By the way,’ he said, ‘I’ve had second thoughts, and I’m going to have Johnson drive me about today. I’ll leave Rhind here – just to make sure you’re well looked after.’ Then he raised his hand in a sardonic farewell, turned away and was gone.

Grace remained sitting at the table long after the door had closed behind Edward, long after his footsteps had faded in the hall. Before her the coffee in her cup grew cold, congealing with a faint cloudy skin on its surface. Near it lay the letter and the envelope.

What could she do? she silently asked. She was lost. Her cause was lost. There was nothing she could think of that would help her situation.

But the fact remained that she had to get away, and she had to take Billy with her.

Somehow she would see Kester and get him to help them. For the time being Billy was safe in his classroom. Her first task was to see Kester.

She sat there for another minute and then purposefully stood up and pushed back her chair. In one movement her hand swept up the letter and the envelope and then she was turning, moving away and out of the room.

In her dressing room she changed into her outdoor clothes and boots and then took her purse and emptied it onto her dressing table. She had so little – just a few shillings and some coppers. It would suffice to take her into Corster. Scooping up the coins, she tipped them back into the purse.

She then set about packing up some of her things into a bag. She could not risk going to Billy’s room and getting his belongings; they would have to wait. The next step would be to get Rhind out of the house, for she had no
doubt that he had been instructed to keep a watchful eye on her.

She stood there in the middle of the room for some moments, then took off her blouse again and put it aside. That done she put on her bed jacket and got into bed. Heart thumping she reached out and rang the bell for the maid.

With the neck of the bed jacket pulled up high around her throat she lay waiting to hear the approaching footsteps. And then there they were, and moments later Effie was knocking at the door and entering the room.

‘You rang, ma’am,’ Effie said, looking with some surprise at Grace lying back with her head on the pillow, and quickly added, ‘Oh, ma’am, are you ill?’ Her voice and face were all concern.

‘I’m afraid I am, Effie,’ Grace said. ‘Thank God you’re here.’ She clapped a hand to her mouth as if retching. ‘I feel dreadful. My heart is pounding and I feel terribly sick. Bring me a bowl, will you?’

Effie stepped smartly into the dressing room and then emerged carrying a wide, shallow basin. As she put it into Grace’s hands she said, ‘What can I do for you, ma’am?’

‘I need the doctor,’ Grace said. ‘Go and ask Mr Rhind to fetch Dr Ellish for me, will you? Be as quick as you can. And then come back and tell me if he’s going.’

‘Yes, ma’m.’ At once Effie moved back to the door. As she reached it, she turned and said with consternation in her voice, ‘Oh, ma’am, I’m so sorry about that letter. I didn’t want to let –’

‘It’s all right.’ Grace cut off the girl’s words. ‘Don’t give it another thought. Just hurry and send off Rhind for the doctor for me.’

The door closed behind the maid and Grace lay with her hearing focused on the sound of the girl’s footsteps fading away. Her heart was hammering. Would Rhind be taken in? The minutes seemed to be dragging by.

And then at last there were approaching footsteps again and a tap on the door and Effie was entering the room.

‘How are you feeling, ma’am?’ Effie said. ‘Are you any better?’

‘I’m afraid not, Effie. Did you tell Rhind?’

‘Yes, ma’am, he’s saddling up the mare right now.’

‘Thank you. I can’t imagine what it is that’s come over me. It’s all very strange.’

Effie hovered at the bedside for a moment, then moved to the window and looked down onto the carriage drive. Two or three minutes went by then she gave a little nod and said, ‘There he goes now, ma’am. Mr Rhind, off down the drive.’

‘Thank you.’ Grace could hear, very faintly, the sound of the mare’s hoofs on the gravel.

‘I’ll rest now, Effie,’ Grace said. ‘Please show the doctor up when he arrives. In the meantime I’ll ring for you if I need anything.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ With a nod, Effie left the room and Grace waited once again as the girl’s footsteps retreated on the landing.

She moved then with great swiftness. In moments she had thrown off the bed jacket and pulled on her blouse, outdoor jacket and cloak. Then in seconds the cloak was fastened at her throat, her bags were in her hands, and she was at the door.

Carefully, silently, she opened it a crack and stood listening. There was no sound. Silently she crept from the room, along the landing and down the stairs. Praying that she would get out before one of the maids saw her, she at last reached the front door.

She found the wind surprisingly cold and strong as she let herself out into the air, and she tucked her chin more deeply down into the collar of her cape. Keeping as close as possible to the side of the house, she hurried to the left, ignoring the drive, and ran across the hard lawn towards
the paddock. Without hesitation she pushed the bags under the fence and ducked through after them. Heedless of her boots and the hem of her dress on the rough turf, she hurried on. Keeping under the cover of a fringe of trees of ash and silver birch, she took a route that ran parallel with the road. And now as she paused and looked back, she found the house was almost hidden from her sight by the trees. She sighed with relief at this; there was little chance now that anyone from the house would see her.