To Wed a Rancher (6 page)

He couldn't keep the amused look off his face.

“It's not funny.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Okay,” she conceded. “It is funny, but I'm not laughing.”

And then she was chuckling. And so was he. Shane realized that this was the first time he'd laughed since his return to Oak Valley. It felt like a release valve, helping him breathe. And while he knew it was a temporary release, because nothing had changed, for the moment it was welcome.

“Come on, I'll bet the spaghetti is entirely edible.” He started toward the stove and she followed him. “The sauce is a little burned on the bottom, because
the heat was a little high, but what's on top will be fine.”

“I could probably make a meal out of what's on my shirt.”

Okay, he could not let that pass, even though everything that was smart and good told him not to look at her shirt.

He looked…and was rewarded with that glorious, enticing blush again. He also realized that she was right. A lot of the sauce had bubbled out of the pan and plopped onto her shirt.

“I'll lend you one of mine,” he said. And this time he did the right thing. He locked his senses down and didn't try to imagine Rachel wearing the same shirt that lay against his skin every week.

Instead he handed her a colander to drain the pasta. “Let's eat.”

She hesitated. “You're being very generous. I hardly made any headway on the house, and this isn't the meal you had every right to expect. Why aren't you firing me?”

He hesitated. He didn't want to examine his motives too closely. But an answer that was just as true as any other reason slipped out. “You're trying, you're working. That's the truth, and…there's one more truth.”

She looked up at him, waiting.

“For reasons I don't want to discuss, I never wanted to come back to Oak Valley and Moraine. Being here is barely tolerable. But…you're an incredibly interesting person. You distract me from things I don't want to think about.”

And now those brown eyes widened. “I…distract you?”

“Yes.” He wasn't saying more. He'd said too much. He hoped he hadn't been wrong to tell her that. “Shane?”

“Let's eat,” he said, changing the subject. “And then let's get back to work. This afternoon I might need you to take some photos. I assume you do know how to use that Hasselblad?”

Good. She'd raised her chin. He preferred a defiant Rachel to a sad one. Sparring with her, he had to keep his wits about him. That kept him from thinking too much about touching her.

 

Rachel felt much calmer now that she was back on familiar territory. For half a second she wondered if Shane knew that and had thrown out the topic of photography to help her get her bearings. But, no, she had never shared just how passionate she was about photography with anyone, not even Dennis, who had been a photographer himself. She'd learned as a child that being overly passionate about something sometimes invited criticism, even laughter or derision. Still, she was grateful for the chance to do something she understood even if she still had a lot to learn before she would feel that she had even come close to mastering her craft.

“You're safe,” she said. “I know how to take photos. I'm not a pro by a long shot, but you won't have to go looking for someone else as long as you don't need anything too involved.”

“Just basic shots,” he agreed.

“And these basic shots…they're of the barn you're working on? Of the house?”

“A few of those, and some of the other landmarks on the ranch. Also I'd like some of the horses.” Had
his voice warmed just a little? Maybe. Maybe not. His expression gave nothing away.

Rachel wasn't nearly as successful at concealing her feelings. “You're bringing the horses back?” She couldn't help smiling.

“You like horses?”

“I—I don't know. That is, of course I've seen them, and they're beautiful, but I've never actually spent time with any. Still, they'll add some life to the ranch, won't they? I mean…it's beautiful, but so quiet. Lonely.”

“You don't like solitude?”

“I do. Sometimes.” But not too much. She'd spent too much of her life alone, or essentially alone. When she finally settled in Maine she wanted neighbors and friends she could keep for the long haul. But she hadn't started this topic to discuss her own past or preferences. She'd been trying to be practical, for once.

“It just seems that a ranch would sell better and faster if it had horses,” she said. She remembered what Ruby and Angie had said about there not being many potential buyers around here.

“You're probably right. And horses are more than just beautiful creatures who'll help sell the ranch. They're useful, loyal and more. I'll teach you to ride,” he said with a sudden devastating smile.

Oh, boy, there it was, that guy Ruby had referred to, the one who could talk a girl out of her clothes and her common sense, even though she knew he didn't have a thing to offer her.

“For practical purposes,” he clarified. “Eventually I'll want you to take a few photos of some of the more remote areas of the ranch where there are no roads.”

A vision of herself and Shane riding side by side through a meadow, stopping to water their animals
while he reached up and helped her from her horse, sliding her down the length of his body, came to her. Darn it, why did she suddenly feel so hot? Was she blushing? And why did she always have to have such a vivid imagination? It made her feel things she shouldn't feel and long for things that just weren't smart. Sometimes she craved impossible things. Like now.

Trying to shut down her imagination, she fell back on her years of boarding school training. She knew how to make polite responses in her sleep. “I'll look forward to it.”

The part of her that had conjured up that ridiculously foolish vision agreed completely with her statement. But the part of her that insisted on reality and truth knew that, as enchanted as she was with the idea of horses and riding horses, Shane was never in this lifetime going to get her up on one of those mammoth creatures.

She sure hoped he had an ATV stashed in the back of the garage somewhere. If she had to get somewhere remote she could probably manage one of those.

But horses were definitely out. In a minute, or maybe in a day, she'd have to tell him that. That and the fact that all of Moraine was probably going to show up on his doorstep for the open house…if they didn't storm the ranch and arrive sooner. A sudden vision of scantily clad women trying to look inside Shane's house or get a glimpse of his muscles and blue eyes slammed its way into Rachel's consciousness.

“Are you okay, Rachel?” Shane asked.

No, I'm clearly going insane if I'm worrying about other women coveting my employer,
she thought.
My employer. My employer. Nothing more, Everly. You
don't want a man. Any man. Especially not a man with as much potential heartbreak written into his DNA as Shane Merritt. Remember that.

“Rachel?”

“I'm sorry. I'm fine,” she said. “Just planning out my afternoon.” Which wasn't a lie, because this afternoon her plan was to completely stop thinking of Shane as a man and think of him only as her boss. Or, better yet, not at all.

R
ACHEL
was down on her knees with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge trying to put her “don't think about Shane” plan into action. She was trying not to think about how her entire body had gone hot and steamy when Shane had tucked his fingers beneath her chin yesterday. She was trying to pretend that an almost painful glow of gratitude hadn't warmed her heart when he'd been so understanding about her lack of domestic skills. The thing was…she wanted to trust him.

The other thing was…she didn't trust her own judgment. She'd been known to trust the wrong people, Dennis being the latest example, so wanting to trust Shane would be super-dumb. Shane had a bad reputation.

She scrubbed harder at a worn bit of linoleum. She put her back into it.

“That must be some stain,” a feminine voice said.

Rachel turned to see a curly-haired woman standing in the doorway, holding two young children by the hands.

Rachel got to her feet and stepped forward. “Can I help you with something?”

The woman smiled and laughed. “I think it's supposed to be the other way around. If you're Rachel,
Shane sent me to help you. I'm Marcia. My husband, Hank, is going to be working for Shane the next few weeks. We've been living with Hank's parents in the next county, and they're wonderful, but the space is tight. The fact that Shane's lending us a cabin on the edge of his property will be a vacation for all of us.”

“I'm glad to meet you, Marcia,” Rachel said, returning the smile. It was, after all, impossible not to smile at the woman. She looked happy to be here. And when Marcia looked down at the little boy by her side and told him that he needed to not interrupt when people were speaking she said it gently and with obvious love in her voice.

Still, Rachel retraced her thoughts to the other woman's earlier comment. “Shane sent you to help me?”

Because he clearly didn't think she could handle things by herself.

“Just for today,” Marcia said. “While you and I both get settled and he makes sure the cabin is ready. He'd planned for a single man, and he wants to add some safety features now that children will be staying there. These, by the way, are my children, Ella and Henry. They're both four.”

And both adorable, she might as well have said. Ella had huge blue eyes that seemed to take everything in all at once, and Henry had the cutest little cowlick, which was just about all of him Rachel could see right now. Now that Rachel had moved forward, he was hiding behind his mother's leg.

“It's so nice to meet you, Ella and Henry. If your mom is going to be nice enough to lend me a hand, we'd better find something interesting for you to do. I'm pretty sure I saw some blocks around here somewhere.”

Marcia blinked. “I'm new to the area, but when Hank got the call this morning I asked him about Oak Valley and…you have toys? I didn't know there were any children here.”

“There aren't,” Rachel said, just as if she knew a lot about this ranch. “And they're not exactly regular building blocks. More like sanded down pieces of wood. Maybe from when Shane was growing up. I've been told he was good at mathematical things, making things, engineering things. But no one's using them now. Would it be all right if Ella and Henry played with them? After you've checked them over, of course. I don't have much experience with children, so I'd want to make sure they passed the Mom safety test.”

“I would love that,” Marcia said. “We had to throw things together in a hurry and already I've lost track of which box I threw the toys in. Not to mention that other people's toys are always more interesting than what you have at home.”

Rachel pulled out the box she'd found in a cabinet, revealing its contents. The pieces inside really did look like building blocks, but very unusual ones. They were carved in intricate shapes that locked together, the wood polished smooth.

“They're beautiful,” Marcia said. “Maybe Shane won't want the kids to touch them.”

Rachel considered that. “No. Shane has told me that he's selling everything here, lock, stock and barrel. He hasn't forbidden me to use anything.” Except she wasn't to enter Eric's room. But that bit of information wasn't for sharing, not even with someone as nice as Marcia.

Within minutes, the two little cherubs were playing with the blocks of wood. Ella looked up at Rachel with
excited eyes, and Henry's little body was wiggling with excitement. “We got goats,” he said.

Rachel must have looked confused, because Marcia smiled. “Henry must really like you. We have a Nigerian dwarf goat, only one, and she's his pride and joy, a present for them being so good when we dragged them across the country. He's very possessive, so the fact that he would even share this bit of information with you is surprising.”

“That's so exciting, Henry. I've seen some pictures of goats like that. They're awesome,” Rachel said.

“Tunia,” Ella explained.

“Ah, your goat's name is Petunia. I see.”

Ella's smile lit up her whole little face.

“You got it,” Marcia said with a laugh. “Most people don't understand little-people talk and want to know what kind of name Tunia is.”

“It's a great name. I really like it,” Rachel insisted, and Henry, who was trying to connect two pieces of wood, paused to show her his approval with a tiny smile that made her heart flip. Given the fact that she had decided she wasn't ever going to repeat her parents' horrific mistakes and marry, she would never have an Ella or Henry of her own, so moments like this were rare gifts.

“So, let me help you with this house,” Marcia offered, and Rachel gratefully accepted.

The two women dove into work, Rachel peppering Marcia with questions and mentally recording the answers. By the time Shane showed up to announce that the cabin was now child-safe and Marcia could put the children down for a nap without worrying that they could get into anything dangerous when they got out of bed, the kitchen and dining rooms were both gleaming.
Even if there was still a lot that needed repairing and dressing up in both of those areas.

Rachel thanked Marcia and knelt down to whisper in both Ella and Henry's ears. “All right?” she finished.

Both of them nodded.

“Because, you know, this is Shane's ranch, and Petunia is going to love it here, so I think we should tell him that he's very lucky to be the landlord of someone as special as Petunia.”

“Ella, Henry? You have another sister?” Shane asked, widening his eyes and dropping down to one knee, making himself less big and man-scary. Rachel remembered being very afraid of tall men when she was as young as these two.

Ella giggled. Henry shook his head emphatically. “Goat,” he said.

“Goat,” Ella echoed. “Tunia.”

“Ah, I see,” Shane said. “Well, then, I'm honored that you would bring Petunia to my ranch. I hope she—and you—like it here.”

“Box,” Henry said, making all of the adults frown with concentration.

But Rachel's mind was flipping through all the possibilities. “Did you like playing with Shane's blocks?”

Henry nodded emphatically, but Rachel saw that Shane was looking at the box of blocks as if he'd seen a ghost. “I thought those were long gone,” he said.

Marcia and Rachel exchanged a look. Had she been wrong to let the children play with them? Had they—?

“I…thought I'd misplaced those. I'm glad you had fun with them,” Shane said to Henry.

Not long after that, everyone said their goodbyes. Soon Rachel was alone with Shane.

“That was a good save,” she told Shane. “Were the
blocks supposed to be off-limits? Were they…your brother's? I'm sorry. I should have asked if it was all right for the children to use them.”

“No. You were right. It's scary for kids that young to come to a new place. I'm glad you pulled out the blocks.”

“They look handmade.”

He stared directly into her eyes. “A guy has to have something do to with his hands when he's closed up inside in the winter.”

Which led Rachel to look down at Shane's big strong hands. She swallowed hard. She tried not to imagine those hands on her body.

“How old were you when you made them?”

“Twelve.”

“Twelve? Only twelve?”

He shrugged. “It began because I'd broken the law. I took the principal's car for a joyride.”

“At twelve,” she said, more shocked than she wanted to let on.

“I was an unpleasant boy,” he admitted. “Anyway, despite everyone in town thinking he was crazy, he agreed not to press charges and instead put me to work helping do odd jobs at the school. He saw my fascination with the woodworking tools for the shop class, and when my punishment was over, he showed me how to use them even though they were usually reserved for older students. The blocks you saw were more a learning process than anything.”

She nodded. “I know some people might think that that was a light sentence, but your principal sounds like a wise man.”

“He was. He's long gone, but he was the best man I ever knew.”

Which must say something about Shane's relationship with his stepfather. But that was none of her business, was it? Because she and Shane weren't friends. He was her boss. And only her boss.

“I hope you'll be happy to hear that Marcia helped me make some food that won't kill you. At least not too quickly. I'll be home before you start to feel the effects,” she said, trying for a lighter tone to slam herself back into the role of employee.

He chuckled, the serious look in his eyes fading away. “You're pretty saucy for a cook.”

“Oh, I'm more than a cook,” she said, heading for the stove. “With Marcia's and the internet's help, I now know how to clean a floor that you can lie down on wearing a white suit. This morning I was nothing. Tonight I am a woman with housecleaning superpowers. Or…at least I know enough about housecleaning to make sure you won't die of dirt poisoning.”

She stopped and whirled around to face him and found that he had been walking behind her. He had been right on her heels, and now they were almost toe to toe. When she tipped her head up, his mouth was only inches above hers. His blue eyes were doing that wonderful smoldering thing that made her tingle.

He reached down as if to place his palms on her biceps, then dropped his arms to his sides. “Don't make me like you too much, Rachel. I don't want to do something we'll both regret.”

Her heart was beating like some wild, out-of-control drum. She could barely breathe. “I don't want to do anything I'll regret, either,” she whispered.

He groaned. He reached out and touched her hair, smoothing back a strand that had crept out of the ponytail she'd been wearing while she worked. Just that
one barely-there caress sent shock waves through her entire body and nearly sent her over the edge. She bit back a moan, closed her eyes. She placed one hand on his chest, and she had no clue whether she was trying to push herself away from him or whether she simply had to feel his heart pounding beneath her palm.

But he must have assumed the first. “Open your eyes, Rachel,” he whispered, taking a big step away. Cool air slipped over her now empty palm. “I'm not going to touch you. I know you have serious trust issues. You know I have issues, too. One of them being the fact that I'm going to be gone in less than three weeks, and nothing is going to stop me from going. This project has to be done—this house will be sold even if I have to drop the price to nothing. And once I leave Moraine I'm never coming back.”

“Me, either,” she whispered. Even though she suspected that he was running away from an old life and she was trying to run to a new one. Either way, they were just together now on a very temporary pass.

She took a step back herself. “We should eat,” she said.

So they sat. They ate.

“It's good,” Shane told her.

It wasn't, but it wasn't horrible. And anyway, she mused, after she had returned to Ruby's, after the initial taste she hadn't registered a single bite she'd taken. Because she'd realized how close she'd come today to crossing a line that couldn't be crossed.

Despite years of avoiding the kind of relationship that had made her life a misery, she had wanted Shane to touch her. She had craved the taste of his lips so intensely that it was a miracle she hadn't shoved him down and had her kissing way with him.

Only Shane's resolve had saved her. Because if he hadn't backed off…well, she had the worst feeling that he could have told her anything, asked for anything, and despite the fact that she didn't actually trust him—and she knew for sure that he could and would hurt her—she might have given him much more than she could recover from.

Instead, he'd backed away. He hadn't kissed her. She should be drowning in buckets of relief right now. She should be thanking the stars that she had been saved from her own stupid desires.

If only she could stop wondering what it would have been like if they had a redo and this time their lips actually touched.

 

In the middle of the night, two days later, Rachel had an epiphany. “Decorating,” she told Shane when she got out of the car and approached him the next morning. “You need decorating. Clean up, fix up, renovate up, decorate up. The ranchers will come for the ranch, I assume, but they have to live in the house. There's no life in the house. We have to change that.”

Shane had been drinking coffee, leaning against the porch support, his ankles crossed as he slouched in that casual cowboy pose and surveyed the horizons of the ranch. The sun had risen but it was still a pink and gold ball reaching fingers of rose up to the sky. He turned to Rachel now as if she'd just suggested that he buy an elephant and put it on the porch.

“Slow down, Rachel. Back up. Why do we need to blow up the house?”