To the Sea (Follow your Bliss) (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

For
Kira’s second interview, Frank and the other two staffers from the first one
sat at the table in the conference room. The images of the partners, from the
agency in San Francisco, appeared on a large screen in front of them. Kira
answered their questions skillfully. She sailed smoothly along, in the flow of
business dialog.

“Tell
us about this absence last spring,” said the man in a navy suit and grey tie,
his bland face appearing broadly across the screen.

“It
was a period of bereavement,” Kira stuttered stealing a sideways glance at
Frank.

“We’re
sorry to hear that, but typically one week is offered, this looks like you took
a bit longer.”

“I
telecommuted after the second week.” Slam, she went under.

“With
an extended period. Right. And vacation time shortly after. We need someone
with a strong commitment, this just doesn’t reflect that.”

The
words crushed Kira, but then she thought of her future with Ian.

“If
I’m selected I assure you, I will offer one-hundred percent.”

“Thank
you Ms.” The man hesitated. “Is it Annandale or Speranza? I know an Annandale.
He’s a lawyer, we went to—”

Kira’s
eyes moistened, and she stopped listening. “Not Annandale. Summer Kira
Speranza,” she said, the confidence of her own voice banishing her tears. She
wondered if this was what she really wanted to be doing.

For
the rest of the day, the interview replayed in her mind, distracting her on
calls and in yoga. She couldn’t shake disappointment and fear about what would
become of her and Ian. Then somewhere around backbends, Kira bucked up. She
reminded herself it’s business. It’s cutthroat and brutal. There’s no place for
sensitivity. She gave herself a pep talk. All the same, Kira doubted she got
the job.

As
she pulled onto Ian’s road, she relaxed in anticipation of his embrace. Just
then, her cell phone jingled. Frank’s name appeared on the screen.

“Sorry
kid, you’ve been cut from the pool. We all understood your absence, but the
other candidates have been with us right along. Sorry,” he said in a rare
moment of sympathy and kindness.

After
she hung up, a familiar black Honda Supra charged past, sending a loose pebble
flying at the windshield and splintering the glass. Kira stiffened, and then
just as quickly crumbled. With anger and anguish, she wondered why Vanessa had
been at Ian’s house.

When
she pulled into the driveway, Kira sat in the Mercedes processing the call, the
disappointment, and Vanessa’s presence as she gazed through the cracked glass
of the windshield. Her phone rang again.

“Kira,
good news, the buyer is in and we’re moving forward. I’ll fax the papers to you
in the morning and we’ll have things wrapped soon. In the meantime we should
talk about a new place,” said the real estate agent.

Unfortunately,
her new place would be on the east and not the west coast, she thought
dismally.

“I’ll
be in touch tomorrow after I sign and return everything.” After hanging up,
Kira muttered, “When it rains it pours.”

Ian
came out of the house smiling widely, and then noticed the windshield. It felt
good to come home to him. He was so different from Jeremy or Jamie. He brought
excitement, warmth, comfort, and passion all rolled into one. But an old saying
scrolled through her mind,
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on
me.
Kira feared she was being a fool for the third time. The idea of Ian
cheating on her with Vanessa cut to her heart cruelly, but she just wouldn’t
stand for it, no way, she was far too precious.

“Are
you alright? What happened?” Ian asked with concern, appearing at the driver’s
side window.

“Vanessa
happened.” Ian raised an eyebrow.

“What
do you mean? She broke your windshield?”

“You
tell me. She barreled down your road, a rock flew at me, and it cracked. Why
was she here?”

“I
think she’s dating the guy that lives over there,” he said pointing at a vinyl
sided house with a Camaro up on blocks in the driveway and a couple surfboards
leaning, neglected, against the shed. Ian opened the door and reached over to
unbuckle Kira’s seatbelt. He swiveled her knees so she faced him.

“I
know what you’re thinking. That’s like asking a guy if he wants a grilled steak
or a TV dinner.”

“But
you’re a vegetarian.”

Ian
laughed.

“You
know what I mean. I promise myself to you. Only you, always.” He sealed his
words with a kiss. “Oh speaking of dinner, it awaits.”

Over
a meal of grilled veggies and rice, Kira told him about the interview and the
hailstorm of events that happened as she pulled onto his road.

“No
wonder you were upset. But come on, I’ve got the perfect thing. The tide’s
changing and the breeze is offshore. No crazy waves. Have a look,” he said,
leading her to the water.

They
suited up and surfed, the setting sun sinking behind the houses and trees as
they carved through the waves.

That
night, Kira’s mellow from surfing wore away, leaving her distressed again.
“What happens to us?” she asked as if the dark bedroom hid the answer. “After
the conversation about commitment at the interview, telecommuting is unlikely
to be approved. Frank is one thing, but the others? I just don’t see how it’ll
work.”

“You
know how we’ve discussed honesty as the foundation of this relationship? Well,
she has a twin called trust. For now, until we know for sure, let’s just trust
that everything is going to work out.”

With
that, Kira fell into fitful sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

Kira
avoided Frank the next day, because for the first time since she was a child,
she felt helpless and at the mercy of others. She didn’t want to be without
Ian, but she didn’t see a solution that would satisfy his bicoastal lifestyle.
She hoped that maybe he’d stay, but didn’t want to hold him back.

She’d
left the Mercedes in Ian’s driveway so the repair truck could fix the
windshield, and drove Ian’s truck to work, half hoping Frank saw her vehicle,
took pity on her, and changed his mind. On her way back, she called Nicole
hoping for comforting advice.

“How’s
my favorite belly?” Kira asked.

“Getting
bigger.” Nicole laughed.

“I
can’t wait to give you and your baby belly a hug.”

“Only
you though, I had a woman approach me on the subway the other day, she just put
her hand on it like I was wearing a sign that said ‘please, put your grubby
hands all over my pregnant stomach.’ Nuh uh. Keep off is more like it. Some
nerve. But then again, it’s pretty huge. It should have its own postal code.
I’ll text a picture.”

Kira
laughed at the image. “I have someone I’d like you to meet, any plans to come
north soon?”

“Work
has me swamped. They’re sticking it to the pregnant lady knowing I’m going off
the grid pretty soon.”

“We’ll
visit you, maybe in a few weeks?” Kira went on to tell her how serious things
had gotten with Ian and the problem she faced with work.

“Kira,
I thought you were a business professional. Creative marketing, advertising,
handling the exchange of large sums of
money
.”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t
that mean you went to college?”

“Yes.”

“So
you must be somewhat intelligent?”

“Nicole!”
Kira said exasperated.

“You’re
practically a millionaire, Kira. What about Jeremy’s money? Technically, you
don’t have to work. Ever. Again.”

Kira
veered into the breakdown lane and abruptly stopped, stunned beyond words.
Along with Jeremy’s things, his house and the memories, she’d put the money
right out of her mind. She was quiet.

“Are
you there?”

“I’m
questioning my intelligence.”

Nicole
laughed.

“Laugh
away. I forgot about it. Seriously. But I’m still not sure how I feel about it.
The money feels dirty to me.”

“If
it helps with your transition to a new life, in my opinion, that is the least
Jeremy could do for you. If you never want to work again, camp out on a beach
somewhere, and surf for the rest of your life, you could probably get by.
Although, you do have expensive taste. The point is, just get over it.” She
paused. “I want you to know July, Nate, and I will really miss you if you’re
across the country.”

Kira
took a deep breath and maneuvered back onto into traffic, having made her
decision. “I expect to return for summers.”

“The
things we do for love.” Nicole sighed. “Especially next summer, there might be
wedding bells,” Nicole hinted.

“Did
Nate propose?”

“I
haven’t said no yet.”

They
chatted for a few minutes until Kira pulled off the highway toward the shore.

Instead
of continuing to Ian’s, she stopped in the parking lot by the beach, pulling
into her old spot by the wall.

She
watched the waves and a few black figures out in the surf. The sun melted
behind her and cast vermillion sparkles into the sea like millions of little
jewels. Kira recalled her first time there, how stark she felt, cast adrift in
her life. She had no idea that day would lead her right back to exactly where
she was meant to be.

“Thank
you,” Kira said to the ocean, the powers-that-be, and to herself for finding
strength and a path forward.

Rumbling
onto Ian’s street, Kira recalled the incident with Vanessa and her insecurity.
What he said about trusting that everything was going to work out also meant
trusting him in their relationship. As if to confirm, Kira spotted the Honda
Supra parked in the driveway of the house he’d pointed out. She breathed a sigh
of relief and then laughed; if he’d been cheating, she was going to have to
sign herself up for a daytime talk show with the hook line, “Woman desires men
who betray.” Alternatively, she could just become a contestant on the
bachelorette and be done with it. Kira brushed off these thoughts as she
breezed into the cottage, aglow. Ian popped out of his study.

“Good
news?” he asked smiling.

“Yes
and no.”

“I
didn’t get the job.” She shrugged. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Ian
pulled her into a conciliatory hug and then she pulled away with a big smile.

His
forehead wrinkled in confusion. “You seem happy about that.”

“Before
I tell you the good news, you have to promise you won’t think less of me,” Kira
said taking a seat on the couch.

“Promise.
But I already know about lame-o-ex-husband, the hippie parents, and how they
caused you to have some control issues, what else haven’t you told me? Do you
actually have three heads concealed in all that hair?” He pulled Kira toward
him, tickling her.

She
giggled and then spluttered, “I’m sort of a thousandaire.”

His
mouth dropped open.

“So
all this fuss about getting the job transfer was because—wait, I know, you like
to punish yourself?” he joked.

“Well
no, this was why I didn’t want you to think less of me. I kinda forgot about
it.”

“Don’t
check your bank balance much?”

“It’s
in a separate account, but the thing is, it is or was, Jeremy’s money. He left
a large sum plus investments, a life insurance policy, then the sale of the
condominium and the house. I gave some to Courtney, the woman who was in the
accident with him, for their unborn child.”

“The
plot gets thicker. But that was good of you,” Ian said, slowly processing the
new info. “So you can use the rest of the money in good conscience,
compensation for the damage done to your emotional health, and a ticket to
financial freedom.” A smirk spread across his face. “Will you be my sugar
mama?” he asked, ready for her retaliation.

“Ha,
wouldn’t you like that,” she said, pulling his hat down over his eyes.

“How
about a new board,” Ian joked.

“You
have like a dozen and you make them!” she said clobbering him as they fell onto
the couch.

“Baker’s
dozen would be nice. You can never have too many.”

“We’ll
see. But this doesn’t change the way you think about me does it? Sometimes
money in any relationship can make things weird. To be honest, I don’t even
know what I think of it.”

“I
trust that you’ll spend smart. If a gold plated toilet or something equally
ridiculous is delivered to the doorstep or you want a diamond encrusted grill
for your front teeth, we’ll have a chat.” Ian got up and closed the two windows
facing the ocean. “It’s starting to get chilly here. Cool nights then cool
days. Does this mean we’re heading west?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes,
but not in your rusty old truck.”

“What’s
wrong with my truck?”