To Tame a Renegade (10 page)

“G
et in bed, Sarah,” Chad said gruffly. Sarah felt as if she’d just stepped into a raging inferno as Chad’s heated gaze slid over her. His hazel eyes were shot with pure fire and his face darkened with what Sarah could only describe as raw desire. She shuddered, recalling the last time a man had looked at her like that and the painful results. When Chad ordered her into bed an unspeakable fear shot through her. Was he finally going to show his dark, dangerous side? Would he take her without her permission? Would he hurt her?

Sarah raised her chin fractionally. She’d let no man do that to her again. “I’ll get into bed as soon as you leave.”

A muscle twitched in Chad’s jaw. Did she think he was going to attack her like a wild animal? His anger slowly faded when he realized that’s exactly what she thought. Her previous experiences with men must have been bad to instill such fear in her, he reflected.

“Very well. Get into bed while I fetch Abner. I’ll take the couch tonight.”

“You don’t have to stay,” Sarah said unconvincingly. “Abner and I can manage tonight.”

“I’ve already given up my room at the boarding house. Money is tight right now. If I don’t find Freddie Jackson soon I’m going to have to find another outlaw to bring in.”

Sarah’s face turned a sickly shade of green. “Freddie Jackson? You’re hunting Freddie Jackson?” Her knees grew weak and she leaned against the bed for support.

Her violent reaction to the mere mention of Jackson gave Chad pause for thought. “You know Jackson?”

She blinked up at him, her eyes wary. “Vaguely.”

“When did you see him last?”

“Please, I’m tired. Can’t we speak of this in the morning?”

Chad searched her face. She did indeed look tired. But there was something else. Some deep hidden fear. How well did Sarah know Jackson? Was there a connection there someplace?

“Jackson left town over five years ago. You must have been very young at the time,” Chad persisted.

“I… I want to go to bed.” She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to slide her legs under the covers without using her hands.

Chad moved instantly to help her, lifting her legs onto the bed and pulling the blanket over her. Instead of leaving immediately he perched on the edge of the bed, his gaze intent upon her face. “How well did you know Jackson?”

“Leave me alone! You have no right to question me. I don’t know anything about Freddie Jackson.”

Chad wasn’t so sure. For someone who professed to know nothing about Jackson, Sarah had become inordinately distraught at his line of questioning. He could see that to continue questioning Sarah tonight would get him nowhere so he decided to give it up for the time being.

“Very well, Sarah. Go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Sarah collapsed in relief when Chad bid her goodnight and left the room. He was dredging up hurtful memories she preferred to forget. Her parents had punished her for crying rape so she saw no purpose in revealing the man’s name to anyone. Freddie Jackson had already left town by the time she learned she was pregnant and her pride wouldn’t let her confront his elderly parents with his evil deed. They had thought the world of their son. Telling them would have destroyed them.

Sarah had been so young and naive when Freddie had attacked her. She’d been too ashamed to tell anyone about it, until she’d turned up pregnant and was forced to reveal her shameful secret to her parents. Their negative response had taught her a valuable lesson. She’d learned it was far better to suffer in silence than to tell the truth and be reviled for it She’d also learned to loathe and distrust men.

She didn’t want anyone to know that Freddie Jackson was Abner’s father. The man was an outlaw and a rapist. Her son meant everything to her and she prayed he’d never discover the identity of his evil father. Abner had been conceived in pain and shame but he was the only person in the whole world who loved her unconditionally. She’d do everything in her power to protect him. She’d fight tooth and nail to keep the world from learning that he was Freddie Jackson’s son.

Abner was sound asleep on the couch when Chad returned to the parlor. He lifted the boy into his arms, thinking how comfortable Abner’s slight weight felt against him. Abner murmured in his sleep as his arms went around Chad’s neck. Chad’s arms tightened around the boy. Never had he felt so fiercely protective toward another human being.

Suddenly Abner’s eyes opened and he smiled up at Chad with such wide-eyed innocence that Chad’s heart lurched in his chest.

“Are you gonna stay with us forever, Chad?” the boy asked.

“I can’t, Abner. I’ve got a job to do. As soon as your mama is able to care for herself I’ll be moving on.

Abner’s smile faltered. “I wish you could stay forever. Since you’ve been here Mama hasn’t cried once.”

“Your mother’s been crying?”

Abner nodded solemnly. “All the time. She doesn’t want me to know but I hear her at night when I’m supposed to be sleeping. She works too hard and sometimes goes without food so I can eat.”

“You’re a brave boy, Abner. And smart, too.”

“I have to be brave. I’m the only man in the house. I don’t have a papa.” He looked at Chad speculatively. “Would you like to be my papa?”

Chad stifled a groan. Abner’s question left him speechless, and more than a little discomfited. “That’s a mighty fine offer, son, but I’m not cut out to be anyone’s papa. One day your mama will find the right man to be your papa.”

Abner’s face fell. “I don’t think so, but that’s all right I’ll take care of Mama.”

Chad felt a stab of pity but quickly shoved it aside. He thought he’d buried all those maudlin emotions, not that he’d had all that many, the day he left Dry Gulch. He wasn’t about to let a small boy or his entrancing mother lasso him into a situation he didn’t want and wouldn’t tolerate.

“Off to bed with you, boy. Be quiet now, your mama’s already asleep.”

Chad carried Abner into the bedroom and eased him onto the trundle. Reluctantly Abner removed his arms from around Chad’s neck. Then he did something that utterly unnerved Chad. Abner raised his head and planted a kiss on Chad’s cheek. Chad quickly withdrew and left the room as if the devil was on his heels.

The following days were as difficult for Sarah as they were for Chad. Having Chad around on a daily basis, allowing him to perform intimate chores, such as dressing and undressing her, made her aware of him as she’d never been aware of another man. Lord knows she didn’t want to think of Chad as someone special but she couldn’t help it He was so patient with Abner it sometimes brought tears to her eyes.

Yet with her he was often short-tempered and grumpy. And the way he looked at her utterly unnerved her. As if he wanted to devour her. He hadn’t tried to kiss her again but sometimes she wished… Her head whirled in confusion. There wasn’t a thing she wanted from Chad Delaney, or any other man.

In another few days her bandages would be removed and it couldn’t be too soon for her. Abner was becoming too fond of Chad. He was going to be dreadfully hurt when Chad walked out of their lives but that’s the way it had to be. She wasn’t ungrateful. Had Chad not stayed with her Sarah didn’t know what she would have done. Doubtless she and Abner would have starved to death before her family came to her aid, but now it was time for Chad to move on.

Sarah owed Chad more than she could ever repay. It was clear to her that the man hated every moment he had to spend with her, even though he seemed to be fond of Abner. Only his deep-seated sense of honor kept him here. Sarah wasn’t fool enough to think Chad was anything other than a hardened drifter who had been hurt by life. She also knew that a woman was responsible for at least some of his pain. To Chad’s credit, he had retained a spark of decency that softened his hard edges. Whether he intended it or not, Chad wasn’t as hard-bitten as he pretended.

Chad chafed impatiently at his lack of freedom. He should be out looking for Freddie Jackson, not playing nursemaid. Somehow he managed to put food on the table and with great difficulty to keep his hands off Sarah, although truthfully the latter was becoming more difficult with each passing day.

Chad felt as if he knew every glorious inch of Sarah’s body without having actually tasted her charms. She might be thin but she was nicely proportioned. Her breasts just fit his hands. He was carrying around a permanent erection and it was damn uncomfortable. Thank God he knew better than to seduce Sarah. Nothing would spell his doom or seal his fate faster than bedding Sarah Temple. He didn’t want attachments. Being a bounty hunter and living precariously, without setting down roots, suited him just fine.

“Shall we continue our conversation about Freddie Jackson?” Chad asked several days later when he found himself alone with Sarah.

Sarah forced a calm she didn’t feel. “I thought we’d already explored that subject”

“Why are you so reluctant to talk about Jackson? How well did you know him?”

Sarah hesitated only a moment before saying, “I knew him casually. My parents were strict; I knew few men socially.”

Chad’s eyebrows rose a good half inch. “That’s hard to believe. There was at least one man you knew intimately.”

Sarah flushed and looked away. “I don’t need you to remind me, Chad Delaney. Nor do I wish to discuss this further. I think I’ll go see how Carrie and the new baby are doing. Charlie went back to work this morning.”

She left the house without a backward glance.

Chad stared at her departing back. Questions formed in his mind. Questions about Sarah and Jackson, and he didn’t like what he was thinking.

Sarah flexed her fingers and stared at the reddened, raw skin on her hands and arms. There was some soreness but at least she was no longer hampered by those cumbersome bandages and was once again able to take care of herself. Reveling in her freedom of movement and restored independence, she looked first at Chad at then at Doctor Clayter.

“You’ve still got to be mighty careful for awhile,” Clayter warned. “You can perform simple tasks but you’re not to plunge your arms into hot water until you’re completely healed.”

Sarah’s head shot up. “That’s impossible, Doctor.” Sarah exclaimed. “I earn my living by taking in laundry. I planned to contact my old customers as soon as possible and let them know I’m in business again.”

“You heard me, Sarah,” Clayter said sternly. “No laundry. Not until I say it’s all right”

Sarah gnawed her bottom lip, her brow furrowed in consternation. Would fate never stop dealing harshly with her? Without her livelihood she had no way to support her son.

Clayter must have sensed her distress for he said, “Try not to fret Sarah. Perhaps I can find some other kind of work for you. Something less arduous. Well, I must be off. Can’t keep my patients waiting. Don’t forget what I said, Sarah. No laundry until I say so.”

“It was kind of Doctor Clayter to offer to find you other work,” Chad said.

“Doc Clayter has a good heart He’s always been kind to me, but he knows dam well there won’t be a job for me. Not in this town. My father made certain of that People only bring me their laundry because I do a better job than anyone else.”

“How will you support yourself?” Chad asked, wishing he could take back the words. He didn’t care, didn’t even want to know. He just wanted to walk out of here and forget he’d ever met Sarah Temple and her son Abner.

“Don’t worry, I’ll find a way.”

“There’s always a way for a woman to earn money,” Chad said evenly. “Especially a beautiful woman. Have you explored any of those options?” The suggestion was outrageous and he knew it.

“You may find this hard to believe, Mr. Delaney, but I’d go begging before I’d whore for a living. Does that answer your question?”

“Perfectly. Since I’ve done all I can for you, I reckon I’ll be on my way. I’m no longer needed here, thank God. There’s still plenty of light. Guess I’ll head out immediately.” He turned to leave, paused, then spun around to face Sarah. “You’ve got gumption, Sarah, I’ll give you that. I’m sure you and Abner will do just fine.”

Sarah wondered why she wasn’t relieved that Chad was finally leaving. She had to confess she’d grown accustomed to him. No man had ever done the things Chad had done for her. No one, including her family, had ever cared about what happened to her and Abner. Though he did it grudgingly, Chad had displayed more concern for her and her son than anyone ever had. She had no idea what had turned Chad away from his home and family, but he couldn’t hide the fact that inside he was basically good and honorable. She hoped that one day he would meet a woman who would gave him back his self-respect. A woman who could earn his trust and love.