To Stand Beside Her (54 page)

“I’ve had this conversation with you a hundred times in my head,” he said as she held on tightly to him.
“But I still don’t know
any way
to say this that won’t hurt you.”

“Do you know why Anatolio is your personal guard?” Nalick asked
,
opening the subject he feared to discuss.

“Because of his talent,”
Leila
replied
,
not understanding why Nalick was not talking about what would happen in ten years
.

“That was just a good side benefit.
Actually I brought over seventy men before Gabor before he told me that he already knew who you were meant to be with.
Anatolio’s soul is as pure as yours.
He is the man who you are meant to spend your life with,” Nalick explained.

“
I love you
,
not him
,” Leila said
,
not understanding.
“Besides,
he’s just a kid
.”

“And I love you, but sometimes life does not last as long as love.”
Nalick looked into the grey sky and could not see the moon either.
Leila searched his face for clues.

“Before I was even a teenager, Gabor warned me that I would only live ten years after I got married.
It did not matter who I married or
how old I was when I did, I
would
only
have ten more years of life.
At the same time he told me of this beautiful
,
smart girl who was years younger than me that would make those ten years the happiest of my life if I was able to convince her to marry me.
By the time I would meet her, her heart would be scarred
,
and she would not be willing to accept love.
But if I tried my best, I might find the happiness that very few people actually find in life.
That girl was you.”
Nalick cupped her chin in his hands.
Tears slowly fell down her cheeks
upon
hearing the words she did not wish to hear.

“I made my choice the day I first saw you.
I would rather choose ten years of complete happiness than a lifetime without you.”
Nalick brushed the tears away with his thumbs.

“Are you sure he can’t be wrong?”
Leila
asked.
Nalick wiped
more
tears away
as they continued to fall
.
Nalick wanted to run away from everything with her and protect her from the future.

“Gabor is never wrong.
It would be so much easier if he was, but he isn’t.
He has told me how I die, and I know that no matter what, it will not change,” Nalick said
pulling her close to his chest
.

“And if you don’t get married?” Leila asked
,
peeking up with tears still on the verge of flowing over
.

“Then I won’t die,” he replied.
Leila released the breath she had been holding. Nalick didn't need to die.

“I don’t fear death,” he added.
“
It is the trade I am making for ten years of happiness.
I didn’t have to ask you to marry me, but I did.
And I don’t regret it for one minute.
I want to marry you Leila.
I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children.
I want a lot of things out of life I will not get to have, but those two things I can have.”

“And there is nothing I can do?” she asked
turning
her face back down
to his shirt
to try to hide the tears that began again
.

“No, there is nothing anyone can do to stop fate.
I have accepted my fate and know I
cannot
change it, but I wouldn’t want to.
It was fate that brought you to me,” Nalick took her hands a
nd
kissed them.

“I don’t want this to make you scared or sad.
I promise you we will have ten very happy years together.
Our eldest son will be the best king Lior will ever have.
We will have a large
,
happy family where everyone will feel loved and wanted.
I will not for one day regret my decision.
And you will never be alone again.
That is why I found Anatolio.
In ten years he will no longer be just a kid.
He will be a man able to take care of you and our children.”

“Does he know all of this?”
Leila
asked as
Anatolio
was standing out of sight but near enough to hear them talk without Nalick noticing.

“Yes,” Nalick replied.
“I told him why I wanted him to follow you and at my prompting Gabor told him his fate.”

“And he is just willing to sit and wait for you to die?” she asked
,
amazed
trying to steal a glance and give away his hiding spot
.

“As you said before, right now he is just a boy
,
and he knows this also,” Nalick replied.
“It is probably the reason he is such a good learner.
He has had to grow up fast, and I didn’t relieve the situation any
.
I would h
ave never asked you to marry me
if I didn’t find Anatolio.
I know the pain of loneliness
,
and I never want you to feel that way again.”

Leila rested her head against his chest as they continued to sit in the darkness.
She was tired and emotionally exhausted.
Everything
Nalick
told her was swirling in her head.
Nalick put his arm around her and held onto her.
He could see she was tired, but she was not giving the reaction he expected.
T
here was nothing more
Nalick
could say to her so he scooped her into his arms and carried her down to their bed.
Leila moved close as he
lay
down beside her
,
and she rested her head on his chest.
Her world was spinning
,
and she felt like it would not stop.
As she
lay
there, she could hear his heart beat as he gently stroked her head.
The constant thumping calmed everything as she closed her eyes.
No matter what
Nalick
told her about fate, at that moment
,
Leila
could hear the beating of his heart and knew he was alive.

Leila woke the next morning with her thoughts still swirling around in her head from the night before.
As she walked into the main room she could hear Nalick and Phillip talking
from
the balcony
while
having their breakfast.
Leila quietly approached but did not want to disturb them, so she stood in the archway and listened.

“Do you love her?” Phillip asked seriously.

“With all my heart,” Nalick replied
,
and Leila smiled behind him.
She understood he did and felt it every time he looked her direction.
H
e had no reservations in marrying her even though it was going to shorten his life.

“Then does that mean I will have more brothers and sisters?” Phillip asked eagerly.

Nalick laughed a booming laugh that made Leila smile even more. “Is that what you want?” Nalick asked
,
and Phillip nodded.
“Eventually, hopefully, but you better be willing to help out.
Someday when I am gone, you will have to be the head of the family and take care of everyone.
Can you do that?”
Phillip nodded more.

“But that won’t be for a long time right?”
Phillip
asked seriously.

To a twelve
-
year
-
old, ten years was a long time.
“Not for a long time,” Nalick promised.
“I’ll wait until you are at least grown up and married, how about that
.
”

“Good.
I need someone to teach me to ride horses and fight,” Phillip said.

“What about mom?” Nalick asked.

“
She can teach me how to fight, but y
ou ride more
,” Phillip said
.
“So can we go ride before lunch?” Nalick nodded.
Phillip quickly jumped up and ran back to his room to get dressed.
Leila backed into the room as he passed.

“Good morning mom,” Phillip said as he ran by.

Nalick slowly approached Leila and looked for a sign of how she felt after the previous night’s talk.
Leila could not meet his gaze
and looked at the floor.
She still had not had time to sort out how she felt about everything.
S
he needed more time, and he quietly turned to walk past her.
As soon as
Nalick
was close enough, Leila reached out and took his hand.
He looked down on her
,
but she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“I really do love you,”
Leila
said quietly before giving his hand a squeeze and then letting go.
Nalick turned and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“I will always love you.
I promise that will never change,”
Nalick
whispered before kissing her cheek.
"From here or beyond."

Phillip ran back down the stairs interrupting the moment.
“Dad, hurry up,” he said
,
and Nalick let go of Leila.

Leila poured a cup of tea
and
silently walked out to her garden
to
s
i
t down in the same place she was the night before.
She sipped her tea and thought about everything Nalick had told her.
Happy and sad thoughts ran through her mind.

Softly, Roger walked out into the garden and sat next to Leila. “Anatolio suggested we talk,” he explained his presence.

“How long have you known about everything?”
Leila
asked
,
without turning to look at him.

“Well
, that
depends on which part.
I have known who Anatolio was since the first time you told me he followed you around Lexia.
I’ve know
n
about Nalick’s fate since before you even started to do your run’s into Lior
.
”
Roger tried to gauge her reaction.

“And you didn’t think
that
all this information might be helpful to me?” she asked.

“I didn’t want you to run away from him like I knew you would if you knew every detail,” Roger said.
“He’s a good man.
I
f you finally gave love a chance again you might end up happy.
Did I do something wrong in wanting you to happy again?”

Leila shook her head
no
.
“But now what can I do?
He’s not about to take no as an answer to marriage.
But if I marry him, then our time will be limited.”

“You’re lucky child.
At least you know you will get ten happy years together.
It could be far less.
Just think of Kay,” Roger said.
Kay lost her husband shortly after having Luca.
Roger also lost his wife only a few years after their
third
son was born.

“I know,” Leila said.
“It’s just that I wish I knew how he will die.
Then maybe I could do something to stop it.”

“I don’t think he will ever tell you for that exact reason.
All I know from Anatolio is that Nalick will die protecting one of his children.
That is not something I think you can talk him out of doing, nor is it something you can stop from happening,” Roger explained.

“Don’t let this make you sad.
You will live a happy life.
He ha
s
made sure of it.”
Roger was always good at finding the positive in any situation
.
“You can’t just sit and let life pass you by.
Sure you might get hurt if you jump right in, but it is worth it,” Roger patted her knee.
“Love is always worth the pain it might bring.
Trust an old man for once.
I haven’t gathered all this wisdom getting old for you to just ignore it.
Nalick will take care of you and someday Anatolio will also
,
if you let him.”
Leila wanted to protest but could not find the words to do so before they were interrupted.