To Love Jason Thorn (19 page)

A few tables to our left, a group of people
roared with laughter, drawing my attention away from Jason. Why couldn’t we be
laughing with joy like that? Jason was going to take me to a movie set, the
movie set that was being set up for the world
I’d
created. I was going
to see Isaac’s room, touch the bed where he woke Evie up in the middle of the
night just because he couldn’t wait to kiss her for the first time. I should’ve
been the one laughing my ass off with joy, not sulking in front of a sex god.

He wasn’t my sex god, but I was in his
vicinity, and God had given me eyes for such occasions after all.

I glanced back at Jason and saw his
troubled expression.

“Fuck me,” he muttered almost to himself.

I would happily fuck you if that’s your
problem.

Reaching for his second glass of whiskey,
he drank the last bit in one big gulp, pushed his chair back with a loud noise,
and came to my side.

I had to crane my neck to look up at him.

He offered me his hand. “Come on. I can’t
do this here with all these people around. Let’s go.”

“Go where?” I asked, my eyes suspiciously
jumping between his hand and eyes.

Clearly done with waiting for me to decide,
he pulled back my chair while I was still sitting in it and took my hand
himself.

Grabbing the small clutch I had borrowed
from Char, I let him pull me away from our sad table and tried to ignore the
warmth that was travelling all over my body from feeling his warm skin on mine
again.

Even holding hands with him could count as
accomplishing childhood dreams, right? And it had already happened more than
once. I should’ve counted the night as a success. Only I had no idea what was
coming next.

Talk about childhood dreams…

Instead of driving me home, he drove us
back to Bel Air, to the heaven that was his home.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked
as soon as we were inside.

“I’m good. Thank you.”

“I’ll get something for myself then.”

He poured himself…I didn’t even care what
it was at that point. I just stood in the middle of his living room, hugging
myself and generally feeling like crap.

“Maybe you should’ve dropped me at home,
Jason,” I said when he kept his back turned to me. “I don’t think this night
out was a good idea. If this is about you taking me to the set, or, hell, I
don’t know, to tell me that you think my book is crap…or maybe it’s about the
photos, that would make more sense, bu—”

“Stop, Olive. Just stop,” he interrupted
me.

He finally left the bottle of alcohol alone
and walked to my side. Cupping my cheeks, he looked into my eyes. “Your book
was amazing. You’re amazing. Stop thinking badly about yourself. I have to…no,
I need to tell you something, or ask you something. Hell…” He let my face go
and turned his back to me, again. “I’m already making a mess of this. I just
don’t know how to say it…where to start.”

“Well.” I dropped the clutch onto the comfy
looking armchair. “I’m half convinced you’re trying to tell me you have to kill
me, so it can’t be worse than that. Just tell me and get over it with already.”

He raked his hand through his already
sexily messed up hair and let out a deep breath. “You’re right. Okay. You liked
sitting outside last time, so let’s go out.” Grabbing my hand, he walked us
outside.

“You have chaise lounges,” I said when we stepped
outside. There were six of them and they looked gorgeous next to the pool.
There were also more than a few giant cushions, the ones that you can curl up
and comfortably sleep on. “You didn’t have them the last time I was here.”

“Yeah, I asked Alvin to find something
comfortable to sit on for when I had guests who wanted to sit close to the pool
instead of at the table.”

He had gotten them because of me?

I was unable to hold back my smile.

We arranged the cushions closer to the pool
and sat down facing each other.

“I’ve danced around it enough, so here we
go,” he started. I sat up straighter, ready for whatever he was about to throw
my way.

“My publicist wants me to get married,
Olive.”

Wait.
What?
I wasn’t ready for
that!

“Come again?”

“I lost a few jobs after the alley video
scandal; apparently they don’t think I’m serious enough about my work, and no
major studio wants to deal with that. They didn’t want the negative press
around me to affect their movie, so they ended my contracts. Tom thinks that’ll
only be the start if things don’t change.”

Wait. What?

I was barely hearing a word of what he was saying.
He was getting married?

Was I cursed? Because there was no way this
was fair. I’d long ago given up on my childhood crush, but now after seeing him
again, spending time with him again…
now
he was getting married to
someone?

“Wait a second.” I shook my head. “I don’t
understand. What does that have to do with you getting married?”

“It’s what they do in this industry, Olive.
They paint you a life for the public. They shape you into something new,
something that fits into their standards. It’s all an illusion. Sometimes even
in your private life you have to keep acting. You get a new girlfriend; your
publicists sit down and draw up a contract. Everything ends up in a contract.
Everything is binding. Of course there are real couples, too, but it’s tough to
find that with someone in this industry.”

“So why not get a girlfriend?”

A pretend girlfriend was still bad, but a wife?!
I’d read enough romance novels to know that those marriages always had a shot
at a real love, and what woman in her right mind wouldn’t fall in love with
Jason after spending some time with him?

He shook his head. “No. They think the
media will see right through that, and if the public and everyone else thinks
I’m playing them, it’ll only bury my career deeper into the ground. Long story
short, Megan thinks that if I get married and act the part for a few years,
everyone’s opinion about me will change. In the meantime, I’ll be able to focus
on my work instead of dealing with the ripple effects my actions cause in the
media.”

My heart sinking further and further, I
tried not to show what I was feeling—
pure agony
—on my face.

“Then congratulations are in order, I
guess,” I said, properly taken back. “Wow. You’re getting married. You already
announced it?”

He laughed, and it wasn’t a happy laugh.
Far from it. “Yeah, no.”

Not looking at him, I leaned to my left and
pushed my hand into the pool water. It was a chilly night, but I was hardly
feeling anything.

“My publicist and Tom have been showing me
headshots of some new actresses for quite some time now, but I couldn’t choose
one.” He continued to break my heart. “Well, now they chose someone for me.”

Headshots? That was freaking hilarious.
Choosing a wife by looking at headshots? Obviously, Hollywood wasn’t my thing.
Where is the love, people?

I forced my lips to tilt up. “Who is the
lucky lady?”

Instead of answering me, he said the
strangest thing. “Do you remember the first day we met? The first day where I
found you hiding next to the wall upstairs?”

My smile turned genuine. “Bits and pieces.”
False. Of course I remembered that day.

“Then,” he said as he shifted in his seat.
“Let me answer a question you asked me back then.” He paused, then said, “Yes.”

I stared at him, clueless. “What?”

Had I asked him if he liked pie or not? I didn’t
remember asking anything.

“Yes to what?”

“You don’t remember,” he mumbled as he
scrubbed his stubble. Taking a deep breath, he reminded me, “You asked me to
marry you…so…would you like to marry me, Olive?”

I laughed. Like a big LOL laugh. Then I saw
his face. “What? You’re serious?”

A big, giant lump took residence in my
throat, almost to the point of suffocating me. Could he hear my heartbeat? See
how my hands were starting to shake? “You’re not serious, right?” I asked at
last, my smile long gone.

He gave me a sarcastic laugh. “Apparently
our photos made everyone believe that we were in love with each other, and
since we already have a past, Megan thinks the public won’t question our
marriage. The opposite actually.”

“Our marriage?” I managed to choke out. He
was actually serious. It was right there in his eyes.

“If you accept that is.”

“Wow.” I scrambled up to my feet and walked
away from him. “Wow.”

A part of me was screaming inside me to
jump on him, monkey style, and shout ‘Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you. YES!’ until
my voice grew hoarse so he would get the point. After all, I’d been wishing for
this moment ever since I was eight years old, hadn’t I? The other part of
me…well, there was no other part of me. Apparently, I was just one giant,
mushy, Jason Thorn lover.

I jumped when Jason’s hand touched my
shoulder and he turned me to face him. I hadn’t even heard him get up.

“I’m most likely screwing this up. Let me
explain a little more before you answer.”

I must have nodded, because he continued.

“If you accept, we’ll get married in a week
or two.”

I gave him a sarcastic laugh. Did he think
giving me that information would help? Because it didn’t. Not at all.

He kept going. “Of course, you’ll live here
with me until the divorce.”

We weren’t even married yet, and he was
already planning for a divorce?

“In the contract I’ve signed with the
studio for
Soul Ache
, they added a clause that says I can’t be in a
relationship while we are filming the movie and through the promotion phase of
it. However, since you are the author, us getting married would be a priceless
promotion for them.” He stopped talking and looked into my eyes. “Megan and Tom
think you might have had me in your mind when you wrote your book.”

My heart literally stopped beating, longer
than it should have. I stood frozen until he spoke again.

“But that can’t be true, right?”

“Of course not.” I shook my head.

“Right. Well, the public will think like
Megan and Tom,” he muttered, his eyes still searching mine. “They think the
executives will be happy about the news since it will only draw more attention
to the movie. When the story gets out that we’re together, everyone will talk
about how, after so many years, we found each other again, how the movie star
fell in love with the author of their own story. In the movie, practically all
they’ll see is me falling in love with you. The more they talk about us, the
more your book and their movie will be mentioned. And, well, you’ll be the girl
who made me give up my old ways.”

I opened my mouth, but he stopped me and
took my hands in his.

“Yes, this will help me get everyone off of
my back so I can get back to doing what I love doing without all this media
crap, but it can also be a good thing for your career, too. Your next book is
pretty much guaranteed to be another bestseller before you even finish writing
it.”

I didn’t like hearing that. Not at all. I
didn’t want people to read my words just because I was married to their
favorite movie star. I wanted to make my own path, not walk in Jason’s shadow.

“The truth is, Olive, I’d take marrying you
over marrying some girl I don’t know any day, some girl who is just looking to
get a piggyback ride by marrying me.”

Lucky, lucky me.

Wasn’t that the marriage proposal every
girl dreamed they would get from the love of their life?

“We are friends, right?” he asked when I
kept silent.

Still shell-shocked, I was trying very hard
to keep up with him. I nodded. I guessed we could be called friends. “It might
be fun living together again. You’ll have your own room right across from mine,
just like the old days, except this time there is no Dylan to bother you. I’ll
mostly be gone, filming.” He looked around his heavenly backyard—if that expansive
space could even be called a backyard, that is—and gave my hands a squeeze.
“You can have this place all to yourself, Olive. It would be easier to write
here instead of in a house filled with roommates, right?” His eyes came back to
me.

“I’m not even writing,” I said stupidly.

“What?”

“I think I’m fresh out of creativity.
Nothing new is coming, so that might have been my first and only book.”

He tilted his head and showed me his
hypnotizing dimple.

“Maybe when you move here I can help with
your creativity issues.”

My eyes got stuck on his mouth.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I forced my eyes away from his lips. I was dreaming
of an alternate world where we were kissing. When the love of your life asks
you to
freaking
marry him, you laugh with joy, maybe even shed a few happy
tears, and eventually kiss, right? But this wasn’t my childhood dream coming
true, was it? No, this would just be living in the same house with Jason Thorn,
acting like we were in love only when were out in public, maybe holding his
hand, kissing him on the cheek.

Could my heart survive Jason Thorn?

“So, what do you think?”

“About?”

“Marrying me…”

Did he really not see how I felt about him?
Not even a little?

“I’m not sure if I’m capable of thinking
right now, Jason,” I admitted.

“You’ll be saving me, Olive.”

But what would happen to me in the process?
That was the real question. My heart was willing to go along with what he was
proposing; after all, there was no way I could attend his wedding knowing it
could’ve been me up there standing right next to him—even if it was a lie. But
my mind wasn’t thinking any of that; it was giving out all kinds of warning
signs.

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” he said, letting my hands go.

I was cold. Very cold.

Not knowing what to do with myself, I
hugged my elbows and looked down at my feet.

His finger tilted my chin up and he ducked
low to capture my eyes, so I gave them to him. He was smiling then, his eyes
kind. “It’s okay if you don’t want to say yes, little one. It’s not something I
thought I would do this year either.”

Was he getting closer to me? Involuntarily—yeah,
no, it was very much voluntarily—I took a step forward to close the distance
between us. His eyes were my beacon.

What did he see in
my
eyes?