To Love and Trust (Boundaries) (18 page)

“It’s all right, sweetheart, it was only a dream. You’re safe now.” Adam smiled down at her and brushed away a strand of hair that had stuck to the sweat on her face.

“Dominique,” she cried, as Adam wrapped his arms protectively around her. “She… She…”

“I know. It won’t happen again, I promise.” He held her close, stroking her face gently and giving her the comfort she so badly needed. He didn’t say anything else, just held her until she eventually drifted off to sleep again.

* * * *

The following morning, she sat at the kitchen table watching Adam cook breakfast, just like the day before. Thor was curled up on her lap and the trauma of the night before seemed a little less daunting in the cold light of day. She glanced down at her hands holding her mug of tea and frowned at the red marks on her wrists. Dominique had tied her so tightly to the cross that her wrists were quite badly bruised. She hadn’t even noticed that the restraints were so tight at the time, her terror had been far greater than the discomfort, but now, she put her mug down and rubbed the tender skin.

Her face had escaped relatively unscathed, considering the force with which Dominique had pushed her against the cross. There was a slight bruise on her cheek, and it was a bit sore, but better that than a broken nose.

It was the pain in her back that really bothered her, though. It still burned, even with the ointment and dressing Adam had reapplied that morning. Thank goodness Adam had found her in time—she dreaded to think how she would have survived if Dominique had had her way.

They ate in relative silence and, afterward, Adam led her into the sitting room where they snuggled up on the sofa in front of the fire, which Adam had started before she’d woken up. She was careful not to lean against her back. She’d forgotten earlier, and had let out a little yelp as she had absently leaned back against the chair at breakfast. She wouldn’t do that again in a hurry.

“How did you know where to find me?” she eventually asked. She had so many questions she didn’t know where to start.

“When I asked Amelia to go and sit with you, she returned almost immediately and told me that you weren’t there. I asked the people at the next table if they’d seen where you had gone and they told me you’d gone upstairs with Dominique. It was lucky I got there when I did,” he added gravely.

Rachel didn’t need reminding, and shivered as she acknowledged how close she’d come to being seriously hurt.

“What’ll happen to her?” she whispered, suddenly fearful that he’d just give her a brief reprimand, leaving her free to do it again.

Adam’s eyes darkened and his arms closed tighter around her as he spoke. “There’s a strict code in the BDSM community that is taken as seriously as law itself. Safe, sane and consensual. It’s the most fundamental rule of BDSM and anyone found not respecting it is usually ostracized by the community. The club rules are clear—anyone found breaking this rule has their membership revoked and will receive a lifetime ban. What Dominique did last night was not safe, sane or consensual and she will be punished.” His voice was grim as he spoke.

Rachel was left in no doubt as to the seriousness of what had happened. She had a feeling that Dominique would get more than a ban and shuddered when she thought about her own punishments.

“Adam, isn’t it about time you told me about Dominique?”

A dark shadow crossed over his face and, although she had been curious about Dominique for a while now, she was suddenly not so sure she wanted to hear the truth.

Chapter Fourteen

“There’s so much I need to tell you. Where do I start?” Adam ran his hand through his hair as he obviously struggled to find the words he needed in order to explain what had happened last night.

“How about starting with your wife?” Rachel hadn’t meant for the words to come out so sharply, but she was terrified he was going to tell her that he still loved his wife and would leave Rachel. She should have known that history would eventually repeat itself.

“She’s not my wife,” snapped Adam. “At least, not anymore. Dominique’s real name is Karen and, yes, she
was
my wife. We’re divorced now.”

“But you said your wife was a submissive, your slave. Dominique is anything but submissive,” objected Rachel, feeling more confused now than she had a moment ago.

“It’s complicated,” said Adam, his voice quiet and serious. “Karen’s a switch, which means she’s both submissive and dominant. The fact that I don’t switch meant that, while we were together, some of her needs weren’t met, but I didn’t know that at the time. She never told me. We had a whirlwind romance—we’d only known each other for six months when we married, so I didn’t really know her at all and believed she was completely submissive. I had no reason to think otherwise, especially as it was she who wanted to take our relationship further to a Total Power Exchange.”

Adam stared into the fire and pulled Rachel closer to him as he continued. “The power exchange was too much for her so she left, but not before I’d found out about her little flings as a Domme.”

“She cheated on you?”

Adam nodded. “It’s not uncommon in a BDSM relationship to share partners, but we had an agreement. We would be strictly monogamous unless I decided to bring someone else in for a specific scene. Not only did she screw around without my knowledge, but she blatantly lied about it when I asked her.”

Rachel was outraged. It was Dominique who had demanded the Total Power Exchange and yet she’d abused his trust by cheating on him. What a bitch! In the short time since she’d been introduced to BDSM, the biggest thing that she’d learnt was that trust was one of the most important parts of a D/s relationship, and it wasn’t just the submissive trusting their Dominant, it worked both ways. Anger boiled in her belly and her hatred of the woman deepened. Then she remembered her own issues with trust and quickly buried the uncomfortable thought.

Adam must have noticed her shock because he gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’d bought her a fifty percent share in the club as a wedding present and she used it to find willing subs, both male and female, thinking I’d never find out.”

“And how did you find out?” asked Rachel, frowning.

“I usually only went along to the club on Saturdays. I was happy to let her go alone on Friday nights so she could assert her authority as boss without me looking over her shoulder.” He let out a laugh, a dark sound laced with bitterness and anger, and continued staring into the fire. “One Friday night I decided to surprise her by turning up unannounced and found her sitting on the face of some poor male sub she’d just beaten the shit out of.”

“Urgh.” Rachel grimaced as she imagined the scene.

“When I confronted her she told me that not only was she a switch, but she wanted out of the Total Power Exchange because it had become too much for her,” continued Adam. “She seemed to blame me for everything, even though it had been she who had pushed for it and, as I told you before, we were never able to get back on track after that, especially as I couldn’t trust her anymore.”

“Did you love her?” asked Rachel. She couldn’t help wondering how Adam could possibly love a woman like Dominique who, apart from her looks, seemed to have no redeeming features at all.

Adam shook his head. “No. I thought I did at first, which is why I married her. She manipulated me into believing she was a true submissive, which she knew would bring out the protective Dom in me and it worked. Looking back, I don’t think she loved me either, she was only interested in what she could get out of me—like the club.”

Another surge of anger toward the woman soared through Rachel’s veins and she fought to keep her voice steady as she asked, “Why do you think she suggested the TPE?”

“I’ve asked myself that same question over and over and I can only come to one conclusion,” he replied, with a shrug. “Just before she approached me about it, I had been having doubts about our marriage and told her I thought we’d rushed into it too soon. A couple of days later, she came to me with the request and I can only imagine that she thought it would make it so much harder for me to leave her if she were my slave.”

“She’s obviously a very complex and devious woman,” said Rachel, with a shudder. To go to the lengths of suggesting a TPE just to stop Adam from leaving her was not only manipulative, but completely delusional.

Adam nodded in agreement. “She certainly is. Initially, after we split, everything was fine. We were civil to one another when we met at the club until I told her I wanted to buy her share. I thought she’d jump at the chance of breaking away from me, but instead she became hysterical. She said she knew I loved her and wanted her back, and then told me she would never sell her share. I tried to make her see that not only did I not love her, but I didn’t trust her either, so there was no way I would ever take her back.”

“But she didn’t believe you.” Rachel almost felt sorry for Dominique, but one glance at her bruised wrists was enough to remind her that she was a vindictive, dangerous woman and any sympathy she might have felt vanished again.

“No.” His eyebrows drew closer together, revealing the stress he must have been feeling all this time. “When she turned up at the office last week, I’d decided to increase my offer to get rid of her once and for all. But she just laughed and told me again that she loved me and would never sell because she was sure I’d eventually come to my senses and take her back. I told her again I didn’t want her, or love her, and that we would never get back together, but, like before, she wouldn’t listen. Before she left, she said she’d make sure I changed my mind, one way or another.”

“And then she found out we were together and blamed me for you not taking her back,” finished Rachel. She shivered slightly as she remembered Dominique’s bitter voice demanding that she leave Adam alone. It wasn’t anger she had heard in her voice, she realized now, but desperation. And desperate people were capable of doing desperate things.

Adam turned away from the fire and buried his head in Rachel’s chest, breathing deeply as if savoring the warm cocoon of her bosom. After a while, he sat back up and pulled her to him. She could feel his heart beat in sync with hers and instinctively nestled closer, enjoying their intimacy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her before. I guess I wanted to be able to tell you the whole story once everything was sorted, so I waited, thinking I could convince her in time. Just hearing her name makes me angry, and I didn’t want her tainting my relationship with you, which is why I didn’t want to talk about her.” His voice was soft, but tinged with regret. He sighed and ran his fingers gently through Rachel’s hair. “If I had told you, you would never have gone with her last night, I’m sure about that. I put you at risk and I’m sorry.”

The guilt in his voice brought tears to Rachel’s eyes. “Hey, it’s not your fault that I’m such a nosy parker.” She poked him in a mock reprimand. “Okay, if I’d known, maybe I wouldn’t have gone with her, but I did, and that was my decision.”

Adam smiled and leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was light and his lips brushed hers softly, which immediately sent little tingly ripples down to her stomach, and when his kiss became harder and more insistent, the tingles changed to excitement. As his kiss deepened, Rachel surrendered and allowed herself to bask in a cloud of rich, deep contentment.

“I love you, Rachel Porter.”

She froze. What had he just said? She pulled away and looked at him in dismay. No, it couldn’t be happening again. Please don’t let it happen again.

“What’s wrong?” Adam’s face showed the shock he must have been feeling, but Rachel couldn’t answer him.

The familiar pain tightened around her heart as tears stung her eyes. Why did he have to say that? Flashes of bitterness, betrayal and guilt tore through her as reality crashed in and turned her happy little world upside down. What had she been thinking? Who the hell was she to think she could ever be happy?

She needed to leave, go home, anywhere as long as it was away from Adam. “I… I have to go,” she cried and jumped up off the sofa.

“Rachel, what the hell is going on?” Adam sounded angry. No, confused. Or maybe it was fear? Oh, shit, she needed to get away. Blood was pounding in her ears as his words continued to reverberate through her head.

Without thinking about anything other than escaping, she ran toward the front door and was halfway out before Adam grabbed her arm and dragged her back inside.

“Get back in here,
now
,” he growled.

Oh shit, he sounded like a Dom now and she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him once he had asserted his control over her.

“Let me go, please,” she cried, and tried to pull away. But, of course, his grip was too strong and her body went limp as she collapsed into his arms. Tears trickled down her face, slowly at first, then building until she was choking on them and her body was racked uncontrollably.

Adam led her back into the sitting room before pulling her down on the sofa, where he held onto her with an iron-like grip in his arms. “Sssh, baby, let it all out.”

His voice soothed her, comforted her, until she remembered that she couldn’t allow him any further into her heart, and it broke all over again.

She cried until there were no more tears left and she was drained of both emotional and physical energy. The words continued to echo in her head, though, cruelly taunting her and her heart continued to feel as if it were shattering into a thousand pieces.

She should have been ready for this. After all, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t been aware of her feelings, and she had been pretty sure that Adam felt the same way. So why had it come as such a shock when he had finally told her what every girl wants to hear from the man she loves?

“Come with me while I make some tea.” Adam’s firm voice brought her back to reality.

She stood up numbly and followed him into the kitchen.

He didn’t speak while he waited for the water to boil, but he didn’t need to say anything for her to know she had really hurt him. The muscles on his ashen face were taut and his eyes were hollow as he busied himself making the tea, but she couldn’t find any words to explain her outburst, so she remained equally silent.