To Love a Shifter: A Paranormal Romance Boxed Set (125 page)

Lucian shoved him away but didn’t say anything.  He glanced at me, his face unreadable, his mouth forming a grim line.  “Are you all right?”

I nodded, bewildered and scared.

His face softened a little and he smiled.  “It would help, you know,” he murmured, “if you looked the part.”

I looked down, realizing I was clutching the covers to my neck for no reason, and hastily let them go so Dyvian would see how fully dressed I was.  Because that was what he was worried about, wasn’t he?

“
Nothing
happened, Dyv.  At all,” I gritted out, embarrassed at how Dyvian was acting like his brother had taken advantage of me.  If anything, I was the one intent on taking advantage of Lucian last night.

He shook his head.  “Nothing
has
to happen for him to take advantage of you.”  His chin jutted aggressively as he scowled at his brother.  “How could you have been so dishonorable?”  The word, quaint as it was, should have sounded weird on Dyvian’s tongue but terrifyingly enough, it didn’t.

“This isn’t any of your business, Dyv.”  I didn’t want him to continue, afraid of what he’d provoke Lucian into saying.

He ignored me, focused entirely on his brother.  “Well?” he challenged.  “You violated our agreement, didn’t you?  You still—”

“Dyvian.”  Lucian’s voice was extremely soft.

I swallowed and even Dyvian’s voice faltered.  But he proved I wasn’t the only idiot around here when he straightened and met Lucian’s gaze head on. 

“At least be man enough to admit your real reasons for doing it, for being here, with
her
.”

“Oh, you’ve done it,” I whispered and began praying there’d be enough of him left to stitch back together.  Didn’t he know how fanatical his brother was about keeping his feelings private?  I waited for Lucian’s fury to explode spectacularly, but he only remained silent.

Dyvian’s next words were worse.  “Admit it, Lucian.  You love her.”

And hell, once more, broke loose.

Breakfast used to be one of my favorite times of the day.  But it was hard to remember that when Lucian’s seat was empty, Dyvian was sporting a black eye, and I was struggling with depression.  Whoever said being immortal was lifelong fun should try stepping into my shoes.

The silence was uncomfortable.  Dyvian sat in his usual place, exuding “don’t talk to me” vibes I was happy to oblige.  I had my own worries to think of.

Awful. 
It was the only word I could think of every time I remembered the fight between Lucian and Dyvian.  They had grappled on the floor, slamming each other against the walls and ceilings, making the entire house shudder with the force of their blows.  I could only be thankful we had no nervous neighbors to call 911.

Dyvian had given a good fight, but it was obvious something stronger had been driving his brother.  Lucian had seemed possessed, and I had been out of my mind with worry, crying for them to stop.  When my voice had gone hoarse, I whispered the last thing I could think of saying.

“Please stop, Lucian.  You don’t have to say you love me
.
”

They were, apparently, the magic words he had been waiting for.

He walked out on us without looking back.

I shook myself out of the bad memories just as Dyvian’s face twisted in pain when he leaned forward, reaching for a slice of banana cake.

I quickly helped him with it.

Lucian strode in when I had just finished sipping the last of my coffee.  His cold face spoke volumes of the fight between him and Dyvian.  “Hallir has called for a meeting.”

Dyvian didn’t look up, staring hard at his plate, which for once didn’t contain a mountain of food.  “Has something happened?”

“He didn’t say.  But he made it clear all Evren are expected to attend.”  It pained me to realize how Lucian’s gaze studiously avoided mine.  “Be ready to leave in ten minutes.”

He left just as quickly as he appeared.  Fed up at being ignored by Lucian, I glared at Dyvian and accused him jokingly, “This is all your fault.  I won’t be surprised if he runs back to Angelica’s arms after this.”

I had expected him to retort like he always did, but he didn’t.  He shook his head, smiling tiredly.  “Believe me, Deli, I did it for both of you.”  He stood and bent to kiss me on the cheek.

I caught hold of his hand when he was about to turn away.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.  I just…”  I bit my lip.  “I know you’re trying to help me, but you don’t have to.  You
didn’t
have to.  I was
happy
.”

“Not completely,” he rejected vehemently.  “If we had left things as they were, if I had decided to turn a blind eye to what happened, Lucian would never admit to himself he loves you.”

“You don’t know that—”

“Yes,” he interrupted me with terrifying certainty.  “I do.  I’ve known him far longer than you.  I know things—”

“If this is about your mother—”

He jerked.  “You know about her?”  He laughed bitterly.  “He probably whitewashed it.  I was the lucky one.  When that bitch gave me to Lucian, he was old enough to have taken care of me.  But Lucian hadn’t been as lucky.”

His voice became low and tight.  “She left Lucian without so much as a word of goodbye.  He was only eight years old, and she left him, dammit.  I could never get him to speak about the years he had been alone, but I could see in his eyes that what
that
woman did hurt him incurably.  You have to understand, Deli.  For the first years of Lucian’s life, she had acted like a perfect mother only to toss him away like he was trash for no apparent reason.”

I wasn’t surprised to realize I was crying.  The thought of Lucian in pain for any reason was horrible.  I wanted to draw in Lucian’s hurt and set him free.

“Every damn thing that happened to him was
her
fault, Deli.  It made him refuse to trust people, to love people.  I’m an exception but even
I’m
kept at a distance.  But
you’re
different,” he said with sudden fierceness.  “And that’s what I want him to acknowledge.  That you’re different and that he loves you.  I want him to be happy.  He deserves to be happy.  You believe the same thing, don’t you?”

I sniffed and turned away to blow my nose.

“
Ew
.”

“I can’t help it,” I wailed.  “What you told me is really
sad
.”  I wiped my runny nose and threw the used tissue into the wastebasket.  It missed, like always, and I had to pick it up to make sure it went in the second time.

He smiled a little, and the sight was heartbreaking.

“You’ll be patient with him?”

“I will.  I love him, Dyvian.  I know it’s not much.  I know
I’m
not much but I love him.”

He ruffled my hair and the gesture reminded me so much of Lucian it made me want to cry again.

Okay, stuff that.  I was crying again.  Tears were my best friends, after all.

~~~

The ride to DV was worse than the last time.  The silence was heavier, uglier, and remained unbroken till the end.  Lucian was cold and undoubtedly furious, but I wasn’t sure if he was angry at himself, Dyvian, me, or maybe all of the above.

Again, Lucian took me in his arms as we turned invisible and flew off.  I hugged him very tightly.  I was scared he’d go on ignoring me, so I cried in relief when he hugged me back and kissed my forehead.

I love you. 
I didn’t speak them aloud but I tightened my arms around him, thinking of those words and hoping he could miraculously hear them.

When we arrived at the entranceway to DVC, Lucian was careful to set me away from him before materializing into view.  I tried not to be hurt and told myself he just needed time to recover.  Dyvian gave a sharp glance at my swollen eyes and the wet spots on Lucian’s chest, but I pleaded with him silently, urging him not to say anything.  He didn’t.

I looked around, and the first thing that struck me was the silence.  The next thing that unnerved me was the absence of crowds.  DVC felt empty, but surely, it wasn’t.  All Evren had been summoned, after all.  Maybe, the emptiness in the air wasn’t caused by the lack of crowds but the absence of hope and the increasing presence of fear.

For once, I forgot all my problems and began to wonder what could possibly prompt Hallir to call for a meeting of this kind.

An endless stream of footsteps followed, alerting us to the arrival of more Evren.  They greeted us with worry in their eyes and that only increased my anxiety.

We walked with the rest of the newcomers to Hallir’s temple.  The same pair of guards stood in place, but the bronze door was unlocked.  Inside, the temple was almost bursting at the seams.  Most had seated themselves in the pews but a number of them loitered around, speaking in hushed tones.  Every torch lining the wall had been lit and the huge fireplace in the corner blazed out heat.

When you were Evren in Death Valley and you had the holy fireplace going, that could only mean trouble.

I kept my head down as I followed Lucian and Dyvian further inside the temple.  I was still an object of curiosity, and I strove to pretend I wasn’t being scrutinized.  I told myself it didn’t matter.  What mattered was to make Lucian love me.  Corny but unfortunately true.

Tension was almost a tangible force within the temple.  I took another step closer to Lucian, wanting to hold his hand but afraid he’d reject me in public.

Lucian, who had approached Hallir and was still deep in discussion with the old man, took my hand and squeezed it.

I swallowed back tears, knowing Lucian would kill me if I cried now. 
He loves me,
I told myself. 
He must love me.

Dyvian had drifted away to speak with a small group of men, all of whom were almost seven feet tall and bulging with muscles.  Green Evren, by the looks of them, and I became even more nervous.  Didn’t they say the green line was our race’s warriors?  The serious expressions on their faces boded ill for us.

Uncomfortable at the prospect of reading too much on the faces of other Evren, I made another conscious decision to bury my head in the sand, busying myself with studying the statues of saints enshrined behind glass walls.  The church within DVC, Dyvian had once told me, was actually registered with the Vatican, and God knew how they managed that.  A three-foot statue of St. Monica, dressed in rich velvet and sequin-lined brocade, was at the center, which the Evren revered as the patron of patience.

And that, I decided fiercely, was what I was going to be.  I would
patiently
wait for Lucian to realize his feelings, even if it killed me.

“I’ll wait for you in the council room,” Hallir told Lucian before giving me an abstracted greeting and walking away.

“Is everything all right?” I asked quickly.

Lucian shook his head, but there was already a faraway look in his eyes.  I might as well be nonexistent when he was in this mood.  “Will you be all right if I leave you alone for a while?”

“Of course—”  I caught sight of Angelica heading toward us over his shoulder, and I grabbed his lapels before he could turn away, almost choking him in the process.

“
Deli
.”

I let him go with a mumbled apology.

“What is it?”

Angelica was just three feet away.  I flinched at the impatience tingeing his tone and asked in a rush, “Promise me you won’t talk to Angelica.”

“This isn’t the time to be silly.”

“I know you have things to worry about, but it would mean so much—”

“Not
now,
Deli.”  And he turned away just as Angelica held her arms out in greeting.

“Lucian.”  Her voice was cool and impersonal.

He nodded.  “Angelica,” he returned and simply stood still when Angelica pressed her lips to his cheeks in continental fashion.

I clenched my teeth hard to keep myself from screaming “hands off.”  Jealousy seemed to breathe life into my dragon soul, and for one moment, the room spun around me and my skin heated up.  I had this crazy urge to turn Evren just so I could crush her between my claws.

But the moment passed and the dizziness left me.  When I opened my eyes, Angelica was still speaking in that lovely, cold voice of hers and Lucian listened intently, his eyes on her flawless face.