To Have and to Hold (15 page)

Carmel gaped at her. Was she mad? Where in the world was her mother to get the money to have her hair done? The Duffys did not go to the hairdresser’s as a matter of course.

‘Don’t look so astounded, Carmel,’ the nun said. ‘You know Minnie Doherty that owns the hairdresser’s in Main
Street?’ Well, her son had the whooping cough so bad the doctor had him admitted to the hospital. The child was very ill and many times we thought we might lose him, but in the end we pulled him through it and I think his mother would be only too pleased to do a favour for me. I mean,’ she went on with a merry twinkle in her eye, ‘it isn’t as if I will ever have need of a Marcel wave, is it?’

Paul smiled broadly at the thought, but Carmel was too concerned to find anything amusing. ‘Look, Sister,’ she said, ‘it’s all right going on about costumes and hairdos and all, but aren’t we talking a lot of tommy rot here? I mean, can you see my father allowing my mother to go anywhere in the first place?’

‘It might need a bit of work right enough.’

‘A bit of work?’ Carmel burst out incredulously. ‘I just can’t see—;’

‘We might have to involve Father O’Malley,’ Sister Frances mused as if Carmel hadn’t spoken. ‘You had intended to see him while you were here, I suppose?’

Carmel hadn’t thought of making a special journey to see the priest, but she knew he had great influence, even with her father.

‘We’ll go up together,’ Sister Frances said emphatically, ‘and put it to the man straight.’

Carmel knew that even with the priest on their side, it still mightn’t work. Dealing with her father most of the time was like trying to handle a raging bull. And then, as she had confided to Lois, she didn’t know whether she wanted her mother to attend the ceremony at all.

Though she was more tolerant of what her mother had to put up with than when she had been living with
it too, she doubted whether better clothes and a haircut would make Eve that different. Surely she would still be the same downtrodden, feeble person, frightened of her own shadow? However, as Carmel couldn’t share these thoughts they had to be pushed to the very back of her mind and she gave herself up to enjoying the visit with the nun she had always got on so well with, glad to see that Paul appeared to like her too.

When Paul excused himself after the meal and Sister Frances had a few moments alone with Carmel, she took hold of her hands and her eyes were shining, ‘My darling girl, I am so happy for you. Paul is a fine man and I am sure will make you a marvellous husband.’

‘Thank you, Sister,’ Carmel said. ‘I hadn’t thought to marry anyone, you know. I thought to remain single all my life, but when I met Paul…’

‘You wouldn’t have been happy single, Carmel,’ Sister Frances said. ‘You have too large a heart and too loving a nature. One of the nuns once asked me if you would think of taking the veil as that is another route into nursing, but I didn’t even bother posing the question to you as I knew the answer. I think I said something like you would make a good nurse, but a very bad nun. Now your path is set and soon you will be a married woman.

The priest found he too liked Paul Connolly, who spoke with just the right respectful tone as he gave an account of himself and his plans for the future. He thought that Carmel had done well for herself in becoming engaged to him, better than she could have hoped, considering her lowly beginnings.

He listened as Sister Frances told him of her invitation
to the wedding the following summer, and how she had intended to go with her sister, who now would probably not be able to go. She went on to say Carmel would love to have her mother with her on her wedding day.

‘I can quite see that any girl would want that,’ Father O’Malley said. ‘However, that maybe problematic. You wouldn’t think of getting married here?’

‘No, Father, not really,’ Carmel said. ‘I feel at home in Birmingham now and there is the problem of Paul’s relations and how to accommodate them all if they were to come here. I wouldn’t be able to house all my family either, of course, but if it were only Mammy and Sister Frances, then I am sure they can stay at the convent on the Hagley Road, no distance from me at all.’

‘Ah, but who is to see to things if your mother was to go away?’ the priest asked.

Carmel had been expecting this. ‘All the children will be at school through the day except for Pauline, Father,’ she said. ‘And by the time I am married, Siobhan will be sixteen and is quite prepared to take time from her job and attend to things. Kathy will help her, for she will be going on for eleven. We are only talking of a few days.’

‘It will give Eve such a boost if she is able to do this,’ Sister Frances put in, ‘and help me too, Father, for it wouldn’t be fitting for me to travel alone.’

‘I have a feeling Dennis won’t see it that way at all.’

‘My feelings entirely, Father,’ Sister Frances said. ‘And that is where you come in. I’m sure you could put it to him in a way that he will find he could accept.’

Father O’Malley wasn’t at all sure. Dennis was not known for his measured responses, but it would be the
best solution all round, he decided, and Dennis would have to be made to see that.

Dennis did not see it like that at all and the following afternoon Carmel could hear her father roaring well before they reached the house. She sneaked a look at Paul, longing to take up his hand, run from the place and hide till her father’s rage be spent.

As if he knew her thoughts, Paul gazing down at her gave her hand a squeeze. ‘We probably helped bring about your father’s anger this time,’ he said. ‘We can’t let your mother deal with it on her own.’

Carmel knew this, though she entered the cottage with great trepidation. Dennis had his wife pinned against the wall, his face inches from her as he yelled straight into her face.

‘Behind my back, that’s what I can’t get over. Conniving with the clergy to get your own way. Well, I’ll not stand it, do you hear? Do you hear that loud and clear, woman? You are my wife, your place is here, and here is where you will stay, wedding or no sodding wedding.’

Carmel’s youngest sister, little Pauline, was cowering under the ramshackle table with her hands over her ears, while tears streamed from her eyes. Carmel couldn’t blame her and felt a great temptation to do the same. However, she knew that wasn’t an option and she eased Pauline out carefully and, sitting down on one of the chairs, held her tight in her arms.

She was scared herself, but also too angry to be cautious as she cried over her father’s bristling anger and her mother’s loud and gulping sobs, ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if they could hear you in the town. You ought to
be ashamed of yourself. Does it make you feel more of a man to terrify women and weans?’

‘Why you…’ Dennis said, approaching Carmel with his arm raised.

‘Steady!’ Paul said. ‘If you lay one finger on her, I will knock you into the back of next week.’

‘You cheeky young bugger! This is my house and I say what goes on.’

‘Not when it involves my fiancée you don’t,’ Paul said. ‘And Carmel is right: I would be ashamed if my wife and child were as terrified of me as yours obviously are of you. What sort of a man are you anyway that thinks that frightening people is the way to live your life?’

Dennis nearly exploded. No one had ever spoken to him like that before. Carmel still sat on the chair with the shaking child clasped to her, stroking her dusty curls in an effort to calm her while she trembled for Paul and his temerity at speaking in such a way to her father. The shock of it had totally stopped Eve’s tears.

Paul almost wanted Dennis to attempt to hit him. It would have given him the excuse to trounce the man, to punish him for the childhood Carmel had endured and for what he had seen Carmel’s mother subjected to.

And yet one part of his mind knew that if he did, life might be harder for them afterwards and he wouldn’t be there to try to protect them. And it would certainly scotch any idea that Dennis might allow Carmel’s mother to go to the wedding. And so he dropped his aggressive stance and said in an almost conciliatory way, ‘Come on, man, this is no way to go on. If you are annoyed or upset, shouldn’t it be talked about, rather than you bawling at everyone else?’

Dennis’s eyes narrowed. He knew what Paul was up to and he was angry, bloody angry, and what he wanted to do was punch the life out of him. But he was not a complete fool and he knew Paul was well-muscled, young and fit. He was also aware that the man was unafraid of him and those things would make him a formidable adversary.

He stepped away from his wife and faced Paul. Eve scrubbed the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her cardigan before crouching and holding out her arms. Pauline pulled away from Carmel and threw herself at her mother, snuggling into her with a sigh of relief.

‘Any man would be bloody annoyed,’ Dennis growled. ‘You know what it’s all about?’

‘Yes, I do. I know your wife, who is also Carmel’s mother, wants to go to her eldest daughter’s wedding and the daughter also wants this. Tell me what is so wrong with that?’

‘She should be here, that’s what wrong with it.’

‘We are talking about a few days, that’s all,’ Paul said. ‘God, man, you are not bloody helpless. And won’t Siobhan be here? She is completely capable of keeping the place ticking over for a day or two.’

Dennis shook his head. ‘It’s not right!’

‘Tell me what is not right about it,’ Paul said in a reasonable manner, ‘and I will try and understand it.’

Dennis had never before been asked to explain or justify his actions. He had decided what was to be done and, if anyone differed, his fist or his belt would always convince them it was a safer option by far to do things his way. He had lived his life like this, certainly since he had married Eve after being brought up in a similar
way by his own father, and so he said again, ‘It’s not right.’

‘But why isn’t it?’

‘I don’t have to excuse myself to you. I am the head of the house.’

‘All right,’ Paul said. ‘Maybe you are head of the house, but that doesn’t mean an absolute ruler. You are not obliged to explain anything to me—you’re right there too—but you do have to have some clarification for yourself as to why you make the decisions you do.’

Carmel’s eyes met those of her mother after they saw Dennis, an altogether quieter Dennis, shake his head in perplexity.

Paul pressed home his point. ‘Don’t you see that it takes a big man to give your wife permission to do this? She will be quite safe travelling with Sister Frances and we will be there to meet them at the other end. She will be staying in the convent attached to St Chad’s Hospital, which is just a step away from the nursing home where Carmel lives. You need have no fears on that score.’

Dennis didn’t know that he had fears like that, or any other sort of fears either. He was just bloody annoyed that the priest had been along to see them that morning and told him about the wedding plans as if it was signed and sealed, that was all. But now, if he was to give his permission—and it was not a foregone conclusion by any means—it might put him in the better books with the priest, whom he had sent scurrying from the house earlier. It didn’t do to make an enemy of the priest when your immortal soul was at stake.

‘So,’ he said to Paul, ‘you think I should agree to all this?’

‘Yes, yes, I do.’

Dennis let his rheumy, bloodshot eyes light on his wife’s face, still full of apprehension and fear, and when he said, ‘Well, I just might see the way clear to let you do this,’ Eve looked at Paul as if he should be canonised.

Even Carmel was mightily impressed with the way Paul had handled her father. Later, when all the family had been fed and Dennis suggested sinking a few pints with Paul to seal the decision he had made, she said not a word, although she knew her father’s idea of sinking a few pints, and she could guess the state Paul would be in afterwards.

After they had gone, she sat before the fire with Siobhan and Michael.

‘You wouldn’t think to go with them, Michael?’ she said. ‘You are well old enough to sink a few pints yourself?’

‘Did you hear him ask me?’ Michael asked sarcastically. ‘Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have gone anyway. The less I see of him, the better I like it. I’ve seen enough of how the drink has ruined our lives for me not to have a great taste for it at all.’

Carmel knew just what her brother meant.

Michael smiled at her and went on. ‘You have a good chap there. I have never seen anyone handle Daddy like Paul did. I couldn’t believe it when he announced at the table that he had agreed to let Mammy go to your wedding.’

‘Nor me,’ Siobhan said. ‘I never thought in a million years that Daddy would agree. I mean, what has he agreed to in the past? He says no as a matter of course.’

‘Is that why you offered your services?’ Carmel asked her sister, with a smile. ‘Because you wouldn’t be asked to deliver?’

Siobhan gave her a push. ‘Course not,’ she said. ‘I am delighted Mammy is going and will be glad to help.’

‘I would like to bundle you up and take you all over with me,’ Carmel said.

‘What? And your dear devoted father to give you away?’

‘No, I want him nowhere near the place,’ Carmel said. ‘He would never be invited.’

‘Who is giving you away?’

Carmel shrugged. ‘I don’t know yet. I’d really like it to be Michael but—;’

‘So why can’t it be me?’

‘Michael!’ Carmel cried. ‘Are you mad? Daddy would never agree to you going to England too.’

Carmel hadn’t lowered her voice and all were suddenly aware that three children, homework forgotten, were staring at the three grouped around the fire.

‘England!’ Thomas almost squeaked. ‘You going to England, Mike?’

‘I may be,’ Michael said. ‘If I do, it will be on the quiet, so don’t breathe a word of this to Daddy.’

‘Are you kidding?’ Damien said. ‘None of us speak to Daddy willingly.’

‘Or talk about it amongst yourselves so that he can overhear.’

‘We won’t betray you,’ Kathy said. ‘If you go I will be glad for you and only wish I could go too.’

‘And me,’ Damien said. ‘Like Carmel said, it would be nice if we could all go, but,’ he added bitterly, ‘the
Duffys don’t do things like that. They haven’t the money or the clothes, and live on handouts.’