To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4) (10 page)

We spent an hour sifting through Lee’s desk, filing cabinets and everything in the den.  Ultimately, Hannah just huffed and said, “fuck it!” and grabbed the computer and the rest of the files, with the exception of their joined legal documents and her personal papers, stuffing it all in boxes.

She clapped her hands together as if ridding them of dust and whispered, “I have to do the bedroom.”

With an arm around her shoulders, I escorted her out of the den and let her lead the way to their bedroom.  Hannah headed in and straight to the closet while my feet froze at the doorway.  Somehow, it didn’t feel right being in there.

She turned to grab a box and stopped when she saw me watching from the hall.  “Ben, you okay?”

I nodded.  “It’s just that it’s yours and Lee’s bedroom.  Honestly, it’s awkward for me to be in here, riffling through his things.”

She dropped the box she held in her hands onto the bed.  “It’s just clothes.” She stepped closer to me.  Wrapping her arms around my waist to hug me, she said, “Besides, I haven’t slept in here in the last year.”

My body jolted at that revelation, but when her body stiffened against mine, I gave her a squeeze that seemed to relax both of us.  “Can I ask you a question?”

“You know you can,” she mumbled into my chest.

“I know why your parents aren’t helping you out with all of this but, why me?”

She pulled away, pressing her forehead into my chest. “I don’t know.”  She sighed.  “Maybe it’s because you’ve been through similar.  You understand.”  Then she looked up at me.  “I trust you.”

Her bright green eyes pierced through me on that monstrous admission.

I leaned in to rest my forehead against hers.  “I’m going to have to start collecting more than cheesecakes and Italian pastries as rewards for all this help I’m giving.”  I smiled.  “If not, I’m bound to put on a few pounds.”

My eyes zoned in on her slightly parted lips, causing me to lick my own.

“We shouldn’t.” Her hands tightened into my shirt and pulled me closer instead of pushing me away.

“No, we shouldn’t.” Yet, it seemed as if we were powerless to stop.  “You started it a few days ago by my car.” I squeezed her hip with one hand, pressing her against me, while my other tangled itself into her hair at the back of her head.

“So I suppose you’ll end it, right?” Her eyes seemed to dare me to do just that.

I groaned, no longer giving a shit, and closed the distance between us.

Her lips were warm and soft.  Our kiss was slow, testing…respectful.  Hannah’s tongue came out to tease my lower lip, but I didn’t open for her.  I wanted to savor the moment in case it never happened again.

Hannah let go of my shirt, wrapped her arms around my neck and feathered her fingers through my hair.  Her tongue tested the waters a second time, and I caved.  If the taste of her lips was that intoxicating, I could only imagine what the rest of her mouth would be like.

The instant I took charge and plundered her mouth, her knees gave way and I held her tight against my body.  I pulled away with a few extra pecks and nuzzled her nose with mine.

Hannah regained her footing, the evidence of lust in her eyes.  “Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?”

My laugh was husky.  “You’re pretty amazing too.” I winked.  “But we should finish this.  What time were they supposed to drop by to pick everything up?”

Regretfully, her dazed expression dissipated. “At four, why?”  Her hands came from around my neck and stopped at my chest.

“Because if that clock is right,” I pointed to the device on the bedside table, “we have under half an hour left.”

“Fuck!”  Hannah’s arms dropped and she moved away from me.

After Lee’s stuff was packed up, I remained out of sight while the Parsons came in and carried everything out.

It was damn hard to obey Hannah’s wishes with what I ended up hearing.

There were three voices – two male, one female – which had proceeded to verbally attack Hannah.  They spouted out everything from tear-downs to blame, and worse.

“It should have been you!” the woman stated. Lee’s mother was a real piece of work!

It made me sick to hear them treat such a devoted and resilient woman with so much disrespect and hate.

In the hour after they’d left, I was the one left to pick up the broken pieces of Hannah, comforting the sobbing woman, working to convince her that she wasn’t to blame for anything that had happened.

It’s not my fault.
  Yes, that mantra was used again.

I didn’t get to see much of Hannah over the course of the next few days. With being an employee short at
Fairfax
, and being called in for fire duty during the evening, I was dead on my feet.

As Saturday morning came, my latest fire call left me sitting on a hospital gurney with a nurse fussing over me as I waited for the doctor’s all-clear.  That’s not what had me frustrated, however.  I hated myself for having to call Hannah, canceling our scheduled day of baking.  I had been looking forward to seeing her.

The woman in question came rushing through the cubicle curtains.  “Thank God you’re all right!”  I hadn’t been expecting her, but damn, was she a sight to see.

The feel of her hands all over my bare chest filled me with warmth as Hannah looked me from head to toe, the nurse having stepped back.  Hannah’s hands moved from my upper torso, to my neck and settled on either side of my face.  She was a real mother hen, and I found that I enjoyed it.

“I’m fine, really, just a little headache.  Candace would have never worried like-” My mouth snapped shut.  Shocked, I cursed my sudden bout of verbal diarrhea.  “Hannah… I-” 

“It’s a damn good thing I’m not her then.” Her lips quirked upward, worry in her gaze still present.

“You’re right about that.” I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her, taking in the scent of her hair.

“Where’s your shirt?” she mumbled into my neck.

“The medics tore what was left of it to shreds before they strapped me to the backboard.”

“What the hell happened?”  She pulled away to see my face.  “I thought you said that this volunteer business was safe.”

“It is, for the most-part.  I rushed into the building to get to someone who was trapped.  Part of the floor above fell on me.”  I saw the look of horror cross her face.  “Sweetheart, it’s not as bad as it sounds.  They were just floorboards.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

I smoothed her hair back and away where I framed her face with my hands.  “I’m okay.  Anyway, I managed to get the guy and myself out.  They sent me here to make sure I didn’t end up with a concussion or damage my lungs.”

“Didn’t you have your mask?”

“I did until I got to the victim,” I explained.  “I was an idiot and took my mask off to share it with him.”

“But I thought you guys aren’t supposed to do that?”

I nodded.  “You’re right.  We weren’t too far from the exit. I thought I had time.  I just didn’t expect to have the building come down as fast as it did.  The medics told me that had I not shared my mask with that man that he would have most likely ended up in the morgue.”

Hannah’s hands rubbed my arms in a soothing motion.  “What happened to him?”

“He arrested as we got here, apparently.  His lungs are pretty bad too, but they think that he’ll make it.”

“That’s horrible!” I nodded.  “Is there anything I can do?  Do you need anything?”

Could this woman be any sweeter?  “After last night, I think I need a good shower, a comfy couch, a couple of pain killers for my head, and a few movies.  What do you think of that?”

“I think junk food is needed, and baking is overrated.” She smiled.  “I’m just happy you’re okay, but you’re right.”

“About what?”

“You do need a good shower.” Her nose scrunched up.  “You smell like a piece of beef jerky.”  I laughed out loud.  “It’s a good thing I like the stuff.”  She winked.

“It’s a good thing I like sweets, because you smell like some kind of treat.” I leaned toward her, making her giggle.

“I was playing around in the kitchen when you called.”

I nuzzled her nose with mine. “Mmm.”

Hannah moved to stand closer between my thighs, her hands landing on them, while I gave her lips a chaste kiss.  The heat from her grip made it hard to remain respectable in front of the nurse who now eyed daggers at Hannah’s back.

Hannah had other ideas that superseded respectability, however.  I groaned when I felt her hand rub up my thigh and she leaned closer.  She nuzzled my jaw, pulled back and pecked me on the mouth before pulling away with that glint in her eyes.

“Why do I sense that you’re up to something?” I asked.

“When am I not up to something?”  She grinned.  “So when can you get out of here?”

“Right now,” the doctor said as he waltzed into the exam room.  I hadn’t noticed his appearance until then.  Hannah moved to stand at my side, her hip brushing the outer side of my thigh with her close proximity.  “You’re clear to go, Mr. Carpenter.  Your lung function is normal, and there’s no concussion, which means you can sleep soundly tonight.”

All of this was said while the doctor eyed Hannah from top to bottom with a heated gaze of appraisal.

“Do you mind?” I growled.

Hannah’s head jerked to the side where she looked at me as if I was being rude, but when she realized what I was seeing, she moved closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her waist.

Doctor
Feelgood
saw this and said, “Right.  Here are the papers.” I took them from his hands in a brusque manner.  “We signed them so all you need to do is fill out your share and submit them to your insurance.  I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but if you have any difficulty breathing, dizziness, loss of vision or consciousness, have someone bring you in.”  With another quick glance at Hannah, he turned and walked off.

Hannah had taken a cab from home to come and see me after I’d called her instead of driving the rental her insurance had provided her.  I knew how she felt, remembering how terrified I’d been to drive after my accident.  Panic attacks threatened me constantly every time I got behind the wheel, at first.

Not having my car, we cabbed it to the fire station to fetch my ride.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be on your own today?” she asked.  “It’s okay if you do.”

“Get in the car, Hannah,” I said.  “I’m taking you home with me.”

She smirked. “Now that just sounds like you’ve got some sort of sexy agenda.”

“Honey, if it’s all I cared about, you’d be lying on the flat of your back with your legs around my waist right now.” 
Where the hell did that come from?

Her cheeks pinked.  “Well that was blunt!  Self-assured much?”

“Nope!” I grinned.  “If I were, I would have moved on ages ago and fucked every sensible bitty that I could get my hands on.”

“But you’re not that type of guy,” she said softly as we turned into my driveway.

“No,” I parked the car and turned the engine off, “I’m not.  I’d rather find someone who challenges me in a good conversation, someone who can take a joke and hold her own, someone who chooses to see the best in people.”

“I think I know someone like that.”

“Oh yeah?  Who?”

“You.  But I’m pretty sure you can’t date, marry, or screw yourself.”

That got me laughing. “That last one is debatable, depending on how you look at it.”  I made to exit the car.

After giving Hannah the grand tour of my house, amazing her with the grandeur of my kitchen – which is where I left her – it was high time I did something about the smell of smoke and layer of grime that stuck to me.

An assortment of noises downstairs, followed by a shriek, then a crash of broken glass, graced my ears as I exited my bathroom.

Chucking my towel onto the floor, I slid my jeans on and did them up, slinging my t-shirt over my shoulder, and rushed downstairs. Hannah was face down on the floor.

“Holy shit!” I hurried to help her up, shards of glass scattered everywhere.  “Are you okay, what happened?”

“Would you believe that I like your floor so much I wanted to kiss it?” She got to her knees, laughing.

Her giggle cut short when her eyes settled on my bare chest, then widened.

“No, but I’d believe that you have two left feet.” That seemed to get her to look up at my face.  “What is all this?”

“I figured that you’d be hungry so I made you something to eat.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.  Ego’s a little bruised, but that’s it.”

I kissed her forehead before heading for the closet.  “Stay there.” I came back with the broom only to find her crouched down, picking up pieces of food, as well as some of the larger pieces of glass, and setting them on the tray she’d been using to carry everything.

She tried to take the broom from me and put a hand on my chest.  “It’s my mess.  Let me clean it up.”  She paused, her fingers rubbing lightly over my skin, and just as quick, snapped her hand back, mumbling, “And put a shirt on.”

I smirked down at her.  “It’s not my fault you scared me half to death that I never finished getting dressed.”

“Here.”  She passed me the tray.  “I’ll start over when I’m done here.”

She turned and started sweeping the floor with more force than necessary.  I set the tray of spoils on the side table, walked up behind her, and wrapped my arms around her waist in a hug.  Her surliness was endearing.

“Are you mad?” I dropped my chin onto her shoulder.

She huffed. “No!”  I gave her another squeeze.  “Well, yeah.  Sort of.  You’ve been taking care of me non-stop over the last few weeks, and I figured I’d take care of you for a change, but I’ve gone and mucked it up.”

“So you wanted to take care of me?” I murmured.  Had she not been paying attention?  She had been doing just that without even trying since we’d met.  Just having her around listening to what I had to say made everything better.

She gave me a small nod before she turned around to face me.  She found herself nose to bare chest again and looked up with an arched brow.

I chuckled.  “You know you like it.”

“I can’t say that I don’t.”  She got up on the tips of her toes, pecked me on the cheek and relinquished the broom by shoving it in my hands.

In the end, I swept while she went back to the kitchen to fix me more food.  It may have been a sandwich, but it was one of the best ones I’d ever tasted.  She did me one better and I found a bowl of fruit and berries with what looked like a simple syrup poured on top.

Hannah hadn’t fixed herself anything to eat, so I asked, “Aren’t you hungry?” She shook her head.  I picked up a few pieces of fruit from the bowl with my fork and put it in front of her mouth.  “Open up.”

“I made that for you.”

“And I share.”

The day passed by in a flash and when the last movie of the night ended, I was sandwiched between the back of the couch and a sleeping Hannah, who had an arm wrapped around my torso and her head on my shoulder.  She looked so comfortable that I didn’t want to wake her, but we couldn’t spend the night on the couch.  Well, she couldn’t.

I shuffled her legs over mine and sat myself up.  When I had her in my arms properly, I got up and carried her to my room.  I laid her on the bed and covered her with the comforter, bending over to kiss her forehead, where she released a sigh.

I smiled as I made my way back downstairs, taking my shirt and jeans off and laying them on the armrest of the chair beside the couch, which was where I was spending the night.

I laid back, covered myself with the throw and closed my eyes, finding myself imagining what it would be like to spend a proper night in bed, cuddled with Hannah in my arms, before I drifted off.