To Catch a Wolf (6 page)

let them go.

"That should teach them," Caitlin said, slapping the dust from her hands. She eyed

Morgan. "About time you showed up.”

From all parts of the camp, the other troupers gathered close against the night. Children

ran from the tents, whooping at the excitement as their parents scolded them. Morgan

stood at the center of the loose circle, as alien as he had ever been, and Changed.

There were a few gasps, and murmurs, and one exclamation. No one fled. Harry,

Caitlin, and Ulysses drew near, with Tamar close behind. Moonlight silvered the skin of

the snake charmer, unearthly in her beauty, whose creatures coiled and rustled about

her shoulders.

"So it is true," she said, looking at Caitlin. "He is what you claimed.”

"And he can save us, Tamar. He is one of us.”

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 40 of 410

"He is one of us," Ulysses repeated gravely.

"Welcome," Harry said, clapping Morgan on his bare shoulder. "Welcome and thanks,

my boy. Your return was most timely indeed." He rubbed his hands and beamed at

them all. "My dears, I think it is best if we move on straightaway. If one band of ruffians

has discovered us, others may as well. We have much to prepare now that our new

friend has joined us, new towns to conquer." His eyes lit up like a child's. "The Wolf-

Man," he said. "We have much to do!”

Tamar slipped closer to Morgan. The patches of scaly skin on her bare arms winked

and glistened. "Will you share my wagon tonight, Wolf-Man?”

Caitlin snorted. The twined snakes on Tamar's shoulders reared up.

Ulysses stepped between them. "Mr. Holt can, I believe, decide for himself.”

"I'll walk," Morgan said. He met Harry's gaze. "I owe you a debt. I will repay it.”

"I know you will, dear boy. Your generosity—”

"I am neither generous nor honorable. I don't want your thanks. I don't want anything

from any of you.”

"Someday," Caitlin said, "you'll need someone, Morgan Holt. I hope I'm there when it

happens.”

She marched away toward the tents, and the others followed. Morgan remained where

they had left him, listening to the snap of canvas, the stamps and snorts of the horses,

and the soft calls of the troupers and crew as they broke camp. He made himself blind

to the stars that had been his only roof for so many years, deaf to the summons of the

wilderness and the deep terror in his heart.

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 41 of 410

Someday you'll need someone.

Never. Never again.

Colorado Springs, October 1880

"Is it real?”

"It can't be. These circus people know every trick there is. Born thieves and swindlers,

all of 'em.”

The two farmers stood a few feet away from the bars of the cage, just near enough to

feel daring. The older one, a frayed bit of straw between his teeth, gave a knowing nod.

"Purest fakery, all of it, take my word." He spat into the trampled straw at his feet.

"Maybe you're right," the younger hayseed said, "but it sure looks real to me." He

grinned slyly. "You want to go in there and find out?”

"They won't let no one in there.”

"Then just put your hand up to the bar. See what it does.”

The milling crowd between the two men shouted mocking encouragement. "Go on!" a

store clerk urged. "Stick your hand in and see what happens!”

The farmer glared. "I ain't here for your amusement—" He jumped back with a cry as

Morgan lunged at the bars, baring his teeth for effect. The farmer's companion fell onto

his knees and crawled away among the feet of the observers. Within seconds, the

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 42 of 410

crowd was abuzz with delight and terror, pressed as far toward the rear of the tent as

they could go.

"B'God, it is real!”

"Don't you dare swear, Cal!" a woman cried. "It's a minion of the Devil himself!”

"Aw, it's just a man in a fur suit

”

Morgan stalked the length of the cage and back again, curling clawed fingers in

menacing fashion, and retreated to his corner. Some foolhardy soul poked a stick

through the bars; he snapped it in two with a casual swipe of a hand. A lady shrieked

and pretended to swoon. He had seen it all a hundred times.

One of the sideshow talkers arrived to herd the townies to the next attraction and on to

the big tent for the show. Once again The Terrifying Wolf-Man was a spectacular

success.

Morgan released his hold on the Change and let himself become human again. He had

grown used to the discomfort that accompanied the unnatural half-shaping, but it was

only after the performance that he felt the ache deep in his bones and muscles.

Stiff and sore, he let himself out of the cage and shrugged into his dressing gown. He

splashed his face with water as if he could wash away the stares of the humans, the

constant smell of their bodies crammed into the small tent day after day. Always the

same ritual, the same contempt, the same resolution.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll go. I've done enough.

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 43 of 410

He laughed and pushed wet hair away from his face. He'd let it grow until it reached his

shoulders, heavy and wild like a wolf's pelt. He meant it to remind him of who he was,

and who he was not.

He stripped off the dressing gown and pulled on a shirt and trousers. Nearly five months

he had been with the circus. Five months, and Harry had said just yesterday that the

troupe had enough money saved to set up in winter quarters without the risk of

disbanding.

Thanks to the Wolf-Man, whose fearsome reputation had preceded the circus in every

town, village, and fly-speck camp they'd visited. It didn't matter that French's Fantastic

Family Circus was still a modest wagon show, unable to compete in grandeur with the

great Barnum or Forepaugh. Each farmer or rancher, merchant, or whore—young and

old, male and female, simple or smart—had to see for himself if the creature was real,

or as fake as the farmer had claimed. Some came back two or three times. None of

them ever learned the truth.

They didn't want to. And Morgan endured their ignorant speculation and taunted them

with his poses and snarls. He had learned to be amused at the blindness of men.

The troupers were equally blind. They had accepted him completely, welcoming him as

if he had always lived among them, but he had done for them all he was capable of

doing.

Tomorrow, I go.

He rinsed the sour taste from his mouth and walked out into the night. Beyond the

lanterns that marked the perimeter of the circus grounds lay a swathe of darkness, and

beyond that the lights and bustle of Colorado Springs. The cries and applause of the

audience in the big top drowned out the murmur of crickets and the soughing of the

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 44 of 410

wind in the cottonwoods along the creek. Every night he stood and listened, poised to

run from everything he despised.

I could leave now, he thought. But he remained where he was, turning his face to the

north where men held sway. He had not gone into town since the troupe's arrival three

days ago; he never slept in the cheap hotel rooms shared by the troupe's top

performers when they could find such accommodations.

But it was not Colorado Springs that drew his attention northward instead of west into

the mountains. Instinct, the only part of himself he dared trust, whispered in a lost and

unlamented tongue.

You are not alone, it said.

He shivered violently, as if the words were raindrops to be shaken from his coat. He had

been alone since he'd left home at fourteen. In all his years of searching for Aaron Holt,

there had never been another like him or his mother or sister.

You cannot hide forever.

He snarled and turned south, toward the big top. For once safety lay in the crowd,

where the voices of his past did not reach. He strode past loitering townies along the

midway and entered the pad room where the troupers dressed and prepared for their

entrance. The smell of human bodies assaulted him once more. The crowd roared

approval as the clowns completed their performance.

"Is it tonight, then?”

Morgan looked down at Ulysses, who still wore his scholar's robes and mortarboard.

The "Little Professor" was, according to the sideshow talker, both the smallest and most

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 45 of 410

brilliant man on earth. He could answer any question, and sometimes made remarkably

accurate judgments of character. Morgan knew that only too well.

Morgan showed his teeth in a half-smile. "Reading my mind, Professor?”

"Not at all. Simple logic and observation." He flipped back the sleeves of his robes. "Our

finances appear to be in good order. You have achieved what you set out to do. Your

debt to us is paid, is it not?”

Us. It was always us, the troupers against the world, and Morgan just outside the circle.

He wanted it that way.

"Harry would be most disappointed if you failed to bid him farewell." Ulysses removed

the oversized cap with its gold tassel and held it between his manicured hands. "Caitlin,

as well.”

By unspoken consent, they both moved to the back door, the trouper's entrance, to get

a better view of the big top's interior. Caitlin was just beginning her act, balanced

gracefully atop the bare back of one of her well-trained gray geldings as it cantered

around the ring. With each circling, Caitlin somersaulted over banners held by her

assistants, landing perfectly each time. Her bare feet, blessed with remarkably flexible

toes, never lost their grip. Red hair bounced above a laughing face.

"Caitlin cannot understand your desire for solitude," Ulysses said. "She, more than any

of us, has kept the troupe together. But you have no ties to bind you here. You do not

seek a home among others like yourself.”

"There are no others like me.”

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 46 of 410

Ulysses raised his brows. "While it is true that I have never observed a second member

of your species, I theorize that you do have kin somewhere—family—who share your

gifts.”

It was not the first time that Ulysses had tried to pry into Morgan's past. If anyone had

the right to ask, he did. The two of them shared living quarters, and Ulysses's

dispassionate nature suited Morgan's desire for privacy.

Morgan grudgingly admired the little man's detachment from the scourge of emotion.

But Ulysses had one besetting flaw, and that was his curiosity. On more than one

occasion, that persistent quest for knowledge had pierced Morgan's careful guard.

"I have no family," he said. "Do not feel sorry for me, Professor. I don't need what you

and the others want.”

"But you have changed," Ulysses said. "Whether or not you wish to admit it, you are

different from the man who came to us months ago. Harry and Caitlin saw it in you from

the beginning.”

"Saw what? That I could be tamed like a dog to a leash? Men will sooner kill each other

than give up any part of what they are.”

"Men will fight for what they believe in. What do you believe, my friend?”

"That a man who trusts anyone but himself is a fool.”

"Perhaps. But to be a fool is better than to be without hope.”

"The way you cling to the hope that your family will take you back?”

To Catch a Wolf – 19th Century Werewolf 04

Page 47 of 410

Such small cruelties were usually enough to stop anyone fool enough to demand

amiable fellowship from Morgan Holt. Ulysses was made of stronger stuff.

"Touché," he said. "Pope said that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and neither

of us is an angel." He turned to go, just as the applause of the crowd marked the end of

Caitlin's act.

Cursing himself, Morgan stepped in front of the little man. "Damn you," he said softly.

"You should leave me alone, Professor.”

Ulysses gave him one of his rare and wistful smiles. "Even wise men can be fools in

friendship. Alas, notwithstanding my family's disappointment in me, they raised me to be

a gentleman.”

"And I am not. I belong with the wolves. Not here.”

"We all, at one time or another, doubt where we belong. If you will excuse me—”

"I am—" Morgan still had not learned how to apologize without the words sticking in his

throat. "I was too harsh.”

Ulysses bowed. "It is no matter. And now I have letters to write.”

"Your family?”