Titus Andronicus & Timon of Athens (34 page)

TIMON
    That nature, being
sick of
¹⁸⁷
man’s unkindness,

Should yet be hungry!
Common mother
¹⁸⁸
, thou

Whose womb unmeasurable and infinite breast

Teems
and feeds all, whose selfsame
mettle,
¹⁹⁰

Whereof thy proud child, arrogant man, is
puffed,
¹⁹¹

Engenders
the black
toad
¹⁹²
and adder blue,

The
gilded
newt and
eyeless venomed worm,
¹⁹³

With all th’abhorrèd births below
crisp
¹⁹⁴
heaven

Whereon
Hyperion’s
quick’ning
¹⁹⁵
fire doth shine —

Yield him, who all thy human sons do hate,

From forth thy plenteous bosom one poor root.

Ensear
thy fertile and
conceptious
¹⁹⁸
womb:

Let it no more bring out ingrateful man.

Go great
²⁰⁰
with tigers, dragons, wolves, and bears,

Teem with new monsters whom thy upward face

Hath to the
marbled mansion all above
²⁰²

Never presented! O, a root. Dear thanks!

Dry up thy
marrows
, vines, and plough-torn
leas,
²⁰⁴

Whereof ingrateful man, with
liquorish
draughts
²⁰⁵

And morsels
unctuous
²⁰⁶
greases his pure mind,

That
from it all
consideration
²⁰⁷
slips!

More man? Plague, plague!

APEMANTUS
    I was directed hither. Men report

Thou dost
affect
²¹⁰
my manners, and dost use them.

TIMON
    ’Tis then because thou dost not keep a dog,

Whom I
would
imitate. Consumption
catch
²¹²
thee!

APEMANTUS
    This is in thee a nature
but infected,
²¹³

A poor unmanly melancholy sprung

From change of fortune. Why this spade? This place?

This
slave-like habit
? And these looks of
care?
²¹⁶

Thy flatterers
yet
wear silk, drink wine, lie
soft,
²¹⁷

Hug their diseased
perfumes
²¹⁸
, and have forgot

That ever Timon was. Shame not these woods

By
putting on
the
cunning
of a
carper.
²²⁰

Be thou a flatterer now, and seek to thrive

By that which has undone thee;
hinge thy knee
²²²

And let his very breath whom thou’lt
observe
²²³

Blow off thy cap: praise his most
vicious strain,
²²⁴

And call it excellent.
Thou wast told thus:
²²⁵

Thou
gav’st thine ears
, like
tapsters
²²⁶
that bade welcome,

To knaves and all approachers. ’Tis most just

That thou turn
rascal:
²²⁸
hadst thou wealth again,

Rascals should have’t. Do not assume my likeness.

TIMON
    Were I like thee, I’d throw away myself.

APEMANTUS
    Thou hast cast away thyself being like thyself:

A madman so long, now a fool. What, think’st

That the bleak air, thy
boisterous
chamberlain,
²³³

Will
put thy shirt on warm
²³⁴
? Will these moist trees

That have outlived the eagle
page thy heels
²³⁵

And
skip when thou point’st out
²³⁶
? Will the cold brook,

Candied
with ice,
caudle thy morning taste
²³⁷

To cure thy
o’ernight’s
surfeit
²³⁸
? Call the creatures

Whose naked natures live in all the spite

Of
wreakful
heaven, whose bare unhousèd
trunks
²⁴⁰

To the conflicting elements exposed

Answer
mere
²⁴²
nature: bid them flatter thee.

O, thou shalt find—

TIMON
                    —a fool of thee. Depart.

APEMANTUS
    I love thee better now than e’er I did.

TIMON
    I hate thee worse.

APEMANTUS
    Why?

TIMON
    Thou flatter’st misery.

APEMANTUS
    I flatter not, but say thou art a
caitiff.
²⁴⁸

TIMON
    Why dost thou seek me out?

APEMANTUS
    To
vex
²⁵⁰
thee.

TIMON
    Always a villain’s
office
²⁵¹
or a fool’s.

Dost please thyself in’t?
²⁵²

APEMANTUS
    Ay.

TIMON
    What, a knave too?

APEMANTUS
    If thou didst put this sour cold
habit
²⁵⁵
on

To castigate thy pride, ’twere
well
²⁵⁶
: but thou

Dost it
enforcèdly
.
Thou’dst
²⁵⁷
courtier be again,

Wert thou not beggar.
Willing misery
²⁵⁸

Outlives
incertain
pomp, is
crowned before:
²⁵⁹

The one
is
filling still
²⁶⁰
, never complete,

The other, at
high wish
.
Best state, content
²⁶¹
less,

Hath a
distracted
²⁶²
and most wretched being,

Worse than the worst, content.

Thou shouldst desire to die, being miserable.

TIMON
    Not by his
breath
²⁶⁵
that is more miserable.

Thou art a slave whom Fortune’s tender arm

With favour never clasped, but bred a dog.

Hadst thou like us from our first
swath
proceeded
²⁶⁸

The sweet
degrees
²⁶⁹
that this brief world affords

To such as may the passive
drugs
²⁷⁰
of it

Freely command, thou wouldst have plunged thyself

In general
riot
,
melted down
²⁷²
thy youth

In different beds of lust, and never learned

The icy
precepts of respect
²⁷⁴
, but followed

The
sugared game
²⁷⁵
before thee. But myself,

Who had the world as my confectionary,

The mouths, the tongues, the eyes and hearts of men

At duty
, more than I could
frame
²⁷⁸
employment,

That numberless upon me stuck as leaves

Do on the oak, have with one winter’s
brush
²⁸⁰

Fell
²⁸¹
from their boughs and left me open, bare

For every storm that blows: I, to bear this,

That never knew but better, is some burden.

Thy nature did commence in
sufferance
²⁸⁴
, time

Hath made thee
hard in’t
²⁸⁵
. Why shouldst thou hate men?

They never flattered thee. What hast thou given?

If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor
rag,
²⁸⁷

Must be thy subject, who in spite
put
stuff
²⁸⁸

To some she beggar and
compounded
²⁸⁹
thee

Poor rogue
hereditary
²⁹⁰
. Hence, be gone.

If thou hadst not been born the
worst
²⁹¹
of men,

Thou hadst been a knave and flatterer.

APEMANTUS
    Art thou proud
yet?
²⁹³

TIMON
    Ay, that I am not thee.

APEMANTUS
    I, that I was no
prodigal.
²⁹⁵

TIMON
    I, that I am one now.

Were all the wealth I have shut up in thee

I’d give thee
leave
²⁹⁸
to hang it. Get thee gone.

That
²⁹⁹
the whole life of Athens were in this!

Thus would I eat it.

APEMANTUS
    Here, I will
mend
³⁰¹
thy feast.

TIMON
    First mend my company: take away thyself.

APEMANTUS
    So I shall mend mine own, by th’lack of thine.

TIMON
    ’Tis not well mended so, it is but
botched;
³⁰⁴

If not, I
would it were.
³⁰⁵

APEMANTUS
    What wouldst thou have
to
³⁰⁶
Athens?

TIMON
    Thee thither in a whirlwind. If thou wilt,

Tell them there I have gold. Look, so I have.

APEMANTUS
    Here is no use for gold.

TIMON
    The best and
truest,
³¹⁰

For here it sleeps, and
does no hirèd harm.
³¹¹

APEMANTUS
    Where liest
a-nights
³¹²
, Timon?

TIMON
    Under
that’s
³¹³
above me.

Where feed’st thou a-days, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS
    Where my stomach finds meat, or rather, where I

eat it.

TIMON
    Would poison were obedient and knew my mind!

APEMANTUS
    Where wouldst thou send it?

TIMON
    To sauce thy dishes.

APEMANTUS
    The middle of
humanity
³²⁰
thou never knewest, but

the extremity of both ends. When thou wast in thy
gilt
³²¹
and

thy perfume, they mocked thee for too much
curiosity
³²²
: in thy

rags thou know’st none, but art despised for the contrary.

There’s a
medlar
³²⁴
for thee, eat it.

TIMON
    On what I hate I feed not.

APEMANTUS
    Dost hate a medlar?

TIMON
    Ay, though it look like thee.

APEMANTUS
    
An th’hadst
³²⁸
hated meddlers sooner, thou shouldst

have loved thyself better now. What man didst thou ever

know
unthrift
that was beloved
after his means?
³³⁰

TIMON
    Who, without those means thou talk’st of, didst

thou ever know beloved?

APEMANTUS
    Myself.

TIMON
    I understand thee:
thou hadst some means to keep a
³³⁴

dog.

APEMANTUS
    What things in the world canst thou nearest

compare to thy flatterers?

TIMON
    Women nearest, but men, men are the things

themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world, Apemantus,

if it lay in thy power?

APEMANTUS
    Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men.

TIMON
    Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the
confusion
³⁴²
of

men, and remain a beast with the beasts?

APEMANTUS
    Ay, Timon.

TIMON
    A
beastly
³⁴⁵
ambition, which the gods grant thee

t’attain to
. If thou wert the lion, the fox would
beguile
³⁴⁶
thee:

if thou wert the lamb, the fox would eat thee: if thou wert the

fox, the lion would suspect thee when
peradventure
³⁴⁸
thou

wert accused by the ass: if thou wert the ass, thy
dullness
³⁴⁹

would torment thee, and
still thou livedst
³⁵⁰
but as a breakfast

to the wolf. If thou wert the wolf, thy greediness would afflict

thee, and oft thou shouldst hazard thy life for thy dinner.

Wert thou the
unicorn, pride and wrath would confound
³⁵³

thee and make thine own self the
conquest
³⁵⁴
of thy fury: wert

thou a bear, thou wouldst be killed by the horse: wert thou a

horse, thou wouldst be seized by the leopard: wert thou a

leopard, thou wert
german
to the lion and the
spots
of thy
³⁵⁷

kindred were jurors on
thy life: all thy safety were remotion
³⁵⁸

and thy defence absence. What beast couldst thou be that

were not subject to a beast? And what a beast art thou

already, that see’st not
thy loss in transformation!
³⁶¹

APEMANTUS
    If thou couldst please me with speaking to me,

thou mightst have
hit upon it
³⁶³
here: the commonwealth of

Athens is become a forest of beasts.

TIMON
    How has the ass broke the wall, that thou art out of

the city?

APEMANTUS
    
Yonder comes a poet and a painter
³⁶⁷
. The plague of

company light upon thee! I will fear to catch it and
give way.
³⁶⁸

When I know not what else to do, I’ll see thee again.

TIMON
    When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be

welcome. I had rather be a beggar’s dog than Apemantus.

APEMANTUS
    Thou art the
cap
³⁷²
of all the fools alive.

TIMON
    Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.

APEMANTUS
    A plague on thee! Thou art too bad to curse.

TIMON
    All villains that do
stand by
³⁷⁵
thee are pure.

APEMANTUS
    There is no leprosy but what thou speak’st.

TIMON
    If I name thee.

I’ll
³⁷⁸
beat thee, but I should infect my hands.

APEMANTUS
    I would my
tongue
³⁷⁹
could rot them off!

TIMON
    Away, thou
issue
³⁸⁰
of a mangy dog!

Choler does kill me that thou art alive.
³⁸¹

I swoon to see thee.

APEMANTUS
    Would thou wouldst burst!

TIMON
    Away, thou tedious rogue!