Timestorm (41 page)

I have one more matter to discuss with you in this letter. I want you to take a moment and close your eyes, count to five and pay attention to what you feel. Don’t try to talk Dr. Melvin out of testing you to verify this himself but you can feel it, can’t you? Or maybe it’s more of an absence of feeling. The electricity you once felt, the expansion of your mind that once allowed you to time-travel has quieted. You have done so much and you’ve worked long and hard toward these noble goals and the brain can only handle so much. The power is gone. The part of your mind that copies everything is gone, too, and as you’ve seen what that power has done to Emily, consider this a gift. You’re free, Jackson. I imagine the skills that you’ve learned training under Kevin’s watch will all still be around. You’re exceptional even without the superpowers. I wouldn’t be surprised if you choose to remain an agent for the Tempest Division.

Do not allow yourself to be overcome with guilt because you’re alive. You were so brave, Jackson. You’re exactly where you deserve to be. Remember to live life for not only yourself but for me and your sister, too. All we want is for you to be happy, so that’s what you need to do.

I love you always.

Your mother in almost every sense of the word,

Eileen

My hands shook, tears dripping from my eyes down the end of my nose. I turned to Emily and caught her wiping away her own tears. “Marshall tricked us,” I said.

“Yes.”

“They’re gone … World A is gone.” I took her hand and she leaned against me, her cheek resting on my arm.

I felt a warmer, softer hand wrap around my other wrist. I turned my head to face Holly. “What did Adam tell you? Do you know—”

“That you’re a time traveler?” Holly finished, surprising me.

“He’s not anymore,” Emily said, her head snapping up as the realization hit her. “You’re not anymore. Eileen was right. I can’t feel you.”

“Is your power gone, too?”

She hesitated then nodded. “I think so.” Her gaze fell to her lap. “Will I stay here with you, then? In 2009?”

I looked to Dad and then back to Emily. I felt myself smiling. “Yeah, you’re staying with me, my fingerprint clone.”

“You’re not leaving then?” Holly asked. “You don’t have to return to some important other place or time?”

I released Emily’s hand and turned to face Holly again. “I’m not leaving, Holly. Not ever again. I’m stuck here, just like you.”

She closed her eyes briefly, sighing with relief. I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “So, you’ve really been waiting around for me all this time? Because of my note? I wasn’t even sure I’d be back here.”

“I guess I wasn’t sure either, I just hoped you would.” She looked down at our fingers twined together. “I haven’t been sitting in my room crying for a year and a half, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I laughed, and the sound of it, the feeling, startled me. “I’d never ever think you’d cry over me for that long. A year, maybe…”

The car had stopped in front of the building so we all tumbled out and held our conversations to a minimum until we reached the safety of our apartment. I knew Dad had so many questions for me and I could imagine that Dr. Melvin was probably already on his way, but I had to check Eileen’s work and see if her letter was accurate. I led Holly into my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I nudged her toward the end of the bed and pressed on her shoulders until she sat down, then I knelt in front of her, resting my hands on her thighs.

“I need you to answer a few questions for me and not ask for details if it doesn’t make sense.” I exhaled, looking down at my hands before raising my eyes to hers again. “I’m actually hoping you have no idea what I’m talking about.”

Holly smiled a little. “Jackson, just ask me.”

“You don’t have a … boyfriend, do you?”

She burst out laughing. “That’s what you wanted to ask me? Are we in middle school?”

I gave her a sad smile in return. “So, no?”

“Besides my mostly imaginary time-traveling boyfriend … no,” she teased.

A wave of dizziness and exhaustion hit me. I rose to my feet and fell onto the bed beside Holly, before lying all the way back, staring up at the ceiling fan. “Have you ever heard of Eyewall or know anyone named Agent Carter?”

“No and no.” She leaned over me, frowning. “Are you okay?”

I shifted my focus from the ceiling to Holly’s blue eyes. “I miss my sister,” I admitted as pain ripped through me. I’d spent so many days with her and now I’d lost her all over again.

Sympathy filled her expression and she rested a hand on my face. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not supposed to feel guilty for being here when she’s … not,” I said, my voice shaking a bit. “But I’m not sure it’s that easy to follow those directions. And I’ve been nineteen forever and I’ve missed you forever and I’m so tired—”

Holly shut me up with a kiss, not caring that I was still soaking wet and smelling like salt water and seaweed. I allowed myself to pull her closer, to close my eyes and feel her mouth against mine. And I could feel her love, her understanding, her longing to be with me like I longed to be with her.

And she was okay. No one had hurt her. No one had taken away her free will. She looked beautiful and healthy.

“I’ve missed you forever, too,” Holly whispered against my mouth. “I don’t know if that helps you at all…”

“It does, Holly. It really does.” Before I could kiss her again, the door burst open.

“Break it up, both of you,” Adam said. “I can’t believe you’re back! This is awesome, man! It’s been boring as hell without you around.”

I sat up slowly, feeling a grin spread across my face. “Boring sounds nice.”

Adam pulled me to my feet and I surprised him by hugging my friend. My best friend. “You haven’t, like, died recently, have you?”

He released me and stepped back. “Not that I’m aware of. No wonder Dr. Melvin is pacing the living room, waiting to scan your brain.”

Eileen had told me to let him do his job even though I already knew the truth. I wasn’t a time traveler anymore and that was a hundred percent okay with me.

I sighed heavily. “All right, let’s get this updating stuff over with so I can take a nice long nap.”

“One more question.” Holly and I walked down the hall hand in hand but I stopped her before joining the others. “You’re not in the CIA, are you?”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. “If I told you, then I’d have to—”

I groaned and leaned my forehead against hers. “Why?”

“Oh come on.” She laughed. “You know I’ve had spy ambitions since early childhood. Besides, your dad’s just started me on the basics. I’m still going to school now, graduating and all that. NYU in the fall.”

“Does your mom know?”

She kissed me quickly on the mouth. “Does she know that I’m interning for a government department that required a full security clearance? Yes, she knows.”

“Okay.” I sighed and then kissed her again. “I love you so much, Holly.”

Her eyes met mine. “I love you, too.”

I released her and we continued toward the other room.

“So, seriously,” Holly pressed. “Who’s the redheaded girl?”

I looked over at her and smiled. “That’s a really interesting and complicated story, but for now, just think of her as my family.”

“You’re related?”

“You could say that.”

We had entered the living room and I stopped in the doorway, taking in the roomful of people—Dr. Melvin, Dad, Emily, Adam, Mason, Stewart, Kendrick, Agent Collins, and Holly.

Eileen was right. I had
almost
everybody I loved right here with me. And it was already more than I ever thought I could hope for.

EPILOGUE

SEVEN MONTHS LATER
OCTOBER 30, 2009. 7:20
A.M.

Dad smacked my knee, making me aware of the fact that I’d been bouncing it for the entire cab ride from the airport to the East Village. “Three more minutes. Relax, all right?”

I would if I could. The panic had reached a climactic point and there was no going back now.

“What exactly do you think is going to happen?” Dad asked for like the tenth time since abandoning our mission in Hungary nine hours ago.

If my dad wasn’t in charge of the division, I’d be getting some serious shit for going AWOL like this. “I don’t know,” I snapped. “So I’m irrational. Get over it.”

“Sleep-deprived and irrational.” He laughed and shook his head. “Very bad combination.”

The cab was nearing what looked like a wall of traffic and I had zero patience left after enduring a transcontinental flight. “Stop here, please,” I said to the driver before turning to Dad. “You’ll get Emily from Kendrick’s place?”

“Yes, and I told you that five times already.”

I flung the door open and took off in a full sprint, running the remaining eight blocks, weaving in and out of morning commuters heading to work and NYU students with 8:00
A.M.
classes. As I approached the building, I spotted Holly running toward me.

Well, not toward me, but she was jogging from the opposite direction toward her dorm. Her headphones were plugged in, her cheeks pink from running in the chilly morning air. I slowed down to a walk, waiting for her to notice me.

Finally, about twenty feet away, her gaze met mine, her face lighting up. “Jackson!”

I sighed with relief and scooped her up in my arms, tugging the headphones from her ears. She squeezed me around the neck. “What are you doing here? I just talked to you last night and you were all the way across the ocean.”

Talking to Holly on the phone the night before, having not seen her in a month, was what had set this whole panic in motion. That and the date. No matter how much I forced myself to think logically, this date still haunted me in the worst way. I thought I could handle being away today, but I couldn’t.

“I missed you.” I kissed her cheek and then her mouth. “I missed you so much I couldn’t stand it and I had to jump on a plane and come and see you.”

“No complaints from me,” she said. “Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“It is now.”

Suspicion filled Holly’s expression as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Seven months of being together and there were still a lot of things about the future and alternate histories that I’d avoided telling her about. I didn’t exactly keep things from Holly, but if she didn’t ask and I didn’t think she needed to know, I kept it to myself. For now, at least.

Despite my obvious emotion, she seemed to accept that answer for the time being and led me inside her building and up the stairs to her floor. The feeling of déjà vu was so intense, I didn’t even realize that I’d just climbed five flights of stairs in less than a minute.

A more intense and not-at-all-pleasant moment of déjà vu hit the second I stepped inside Holly’s room. I forced the panic away while she closed the door behind me and headed for her shared bathroom.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower,” she said, from the other side of the door. “Lydia’s already at class.”

Lydia. At least she and I had managed to hit it off much better this time around than we had the first time we met. But I was still glad for her absence right now given my emotional state.

My gaze zoomed in on the brown throw rug not too far from the door. My heart raced, my breath lodged in my throat like a lump. I blinked rapidly, trying to wash away the visions of red blood seeping into the brown carpet.

The last time I’d been in this room, before all the worst events had been set in motion, the last vision I saw before time jumping, was Holly lying in a heap on the floor and red blood on her robe … on this carpet.

After five minutes of trying to get my shit together, the bathroom door opened.

“Jackson?” Holly stood in front of me, wearing a robe like she had worn on that day, too. But she was perfect and completely unharmed. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, unable to speak, and then stepped around her and sat down on her bed. My head dropped into my hands and I focused hard on shedding those memories from my mind.

Holly knelt in front of me, placing her hands over mine and tugging them free. “Are you okay?”

The lump was still lodged in my throat but I managed to nod and whisper, “I’m fine.”

She studied my face for several long seconds. “You have to stop trying to protect me from everything.”

“I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” she said firmly. “I’ve let it go most of the time, but I think it’s time we accept the fact that neither of us is going anywhere and eventually your secrets will be my secrets, too.”

I managed half a smile. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s terrible,” she said with mock frustration. “I’ve always dreamed of having the normal college experience—playing the field, lots of hot drunken one-night stands and excessive trips to the student health center for free contraception. And now I can’t do any of that because I’m a little bit too in love with you.”

I should have told her to get a different room. Anything but this. I’d thought by not letting it get to me, I was facing my fears.

My gaze flitted back to the brown rug and I felt that rush of panic again. “Do you remember that day I started working at Mike’s gym, when he introduced us?”

“Uh-huh.” She stood up and crawled over me then tugged my arms until I was lying beside her on the bed. This must be my cue to spill the whole story.

“You already know that wasn’t our first meeting for me.” I focused on the ceiling and held Holly’s hand in mine. “Before that, I’d left 2009. Not just 2009 but October 30, 2009. And it was this room that I jumped from and you were … you were—”

“What?” she pressed. “I was what?”

“Shot.” I released the word in one big exhale. “Bleeding onto that brown rug. I know it’s not logical to think that history will repeat itself but I’m seeing it right now. I can’t help it. It’s the same room, same everything. And when I talked to you last night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to get here. Just in case.”

Holly had stiffened the second I said the word “shot,” but she drew in a deep breath, composing herself, and then leaned over me. “What time did this happen?”