Time Slipping (17 page)

“Dang, he’s green,” said Finn, his voice full of awe.

“What happened? Is he sick?” Becky asked.

Tim hovered in the air in front of me, his shiny, verdant green complexion making him look like he was about to spew in a major way. I backed my head up just a little.

“What are they talking about?” His hands were on his hips and his fanny pack was twisted sideways. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his skin was shot, hoping it would go back to normal before he saw his reflection. He could be really touchy about his complexion. He was never happier than after he’d enjoyed a cucumber facial mask applied by his loving wife Abby.

I pointed at his waist. “Your fanny pack is messed up.” I angled my finger up a little. “And so’s your hair.”

He rolled his eyes. “My hair? You should see your own ‘do. You look like you were eaten by that troll over there and regurgitated an hour later.”

I grinned, so very thankful that he hadn’t been eaten by that troll and regurgitated an hour later. Tim was back, attitude and all, and that meant we had a hope of surviving this mess. He was, after all, some sort of super spy who’d apparently saved faekind too many times to count over the past few centuries. “If you were any bigger, I’d hug you until you couldn’t breathe anymore.” I held my hand out and he landed on it.

“I missed me too. What the heck happened? One minute I was fighting off evil left and right, and the next everything went white.” He turned around and scowled at the web he came out of. “Must have been an arachno spell. I hate those things.”

“She spider-manned you?” I giggled, imagining the witch with her wrist pointed at Tim, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration as she spun her web.

“Funny isn’t it? When you’re not the one being tangled in sticky witch stink breath?” He brushed his arms off. “Oh well. At least I still have my dignity, unlike
some
people around here.”

Man, it was so, so tempting to tell him his face was the exact same shade as the troll’s asscheeks, but I just couldn’t do it. Adding a heartbroken pixie to our mix would have been a really bad idea. Even I knew that. He tended to go into hibernation when he realized he wasn’t the hottest pixie in town anymore.

I turned around. “Okay, then. We’re ready.” I liked that I sounded uber confident when in reality I had no idea what the hell I was going to do next.
Fake it until you make it, baby.

“Ready for what?” Tony asked.

“Ready to find the portal to the Underworld so we can get the hell out of here.” I smiled really hard so they’d agree it was an awesome idea.

Everyone looked at each other and then at me. None of them were smiling.

“Are you kidding?” Tony asked.

I was back to being cranky again. I hated having our only plan pooped on by the smartest person I knew. “No, I’m not kidding. Why would I be? Can you think of another way to get back?”

Tony looked at Sam. “Can you get us out of here?”

Sam’s eyes bulged out. “Me? Now who’s kidding? I’ve never messed with time. I have no idea how to move from one realm to another like that, especially from a realm no one even knew existed.” She shook her head, looking pointedly at my injury. “If I were you, I’d be more worried about her arm first before worrying about finding a way out of here.”

Everyone including me looked down at my bandaged appendage. A black goo was seeping through the cloth wrapping. “Ew,” I said, lifting it to my nose. I had no idea why I felt the need to do that, but the minute I did, I regretted it. “
Ack
. Double ew.” I’d never smelled an orc’s feet, but I’d been kicked in the head by one once, and I figured that gave me all the authority I needed to determine that my wound smelled like some kind of sweaty orc foot fungus.

“Is it infected?” Tony asked, getting closer and taking it in his hands. He pushed gently on the edges of it, making me flinch from the pain. It was getting worse.

“I think so,” I said, mad at myself all over again.

“Where’s the injury from?” Jared asked. He looked over at Sam. “Maybe if you know the origin, you can do something to help her.”

“Maybe.” Sam’s shrug did nothing to engender confidence.

“She claims to have self-harmed,” Ish said from behind the group.

Everyone looked over at him, confused. He was staring at me, though, which made them all turn around to join the party. My face went red and started burning. I felt like a stupid girl at the vice principal’s office again.
Would it never end? This feeling of inadequacy?
My anger at myself made me sound defensive, my voice going up an octave.

“I didn’t think I had any choice! You were all turned into zombies, I thought the troll had eaten Tim, and the witch was going to keep us trapped in her house forever. It was over. I was the only one still alive.”

Tim left my hand and went to my shoulder, patting my ear. “I understand, roomie. You’d lost all hope. I would too if I thought I’d lost me in the belly of a troll. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

I swatted him away. “I’m not saying I was committing suicide, jerks. I was just trying to fulfill the prophecy or whatever.”

“What prophecy?” Tony asked, perking way up. He was such a gray elf wannabe, getting a boner over a stupid riddle. I scowled at him before continuing.

“I don’t remember it now. The witch started doing some slam poetry or whatever and it sounded kind of prophetic, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to try and fulfill it or whatever.”

“Which part were you fulfilling?” Jared asked. His voice was free of censure, so I lightened up on the attitude and tried really hard to remember. I traveled back in my mind to that moment when we were standing in the ballroom and all my friends were frozen around me…

“She said something like … my blood would bring them late.”

Finn threw his arms up and let them flop down. “Well, that’s it then, y’all. We’re late, I can see that.” He looked around and then at Ish. “I know he ain’t from our time.”

Everyone’s head swiveled over to stare at my savior. He looked away, squirming uncomfortably under the attention.

“Ish saved my life and probably yours too. He’s cool. Leave him alone.”

“I wasn’t sayin’ anything bad about him. Just that he’s not from where we are. You can tell from his clothes, and his way o’ talkin’, and his … his …” Finn just gestured at him, but I knew what he wanted to say but couldn’t.
His lack of hygiene.

“People in glass houses should not throw stones,” I said, staring at the top of Finn’s head where a knot of red hair rested.

Finn’s eyes traveled upwards and then so did his hand. It rested for a moment above the knot and then touched the top of it gingerly. “Oh, shee-it…”

Becky stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. I still think you’re gorgeous.”

He turned to look down at her with a smile. “Really?”

She shrank back and waved her hand in front of her face. “Except for your breath.” She looked around. “Does anyone have a mint handy?”

He went to grab her, but she disappeared and reappeared on the other side of Ish.

Finn closed his eyes, raised his head to the clouds, and sighed. “I ain’t never not gonna be jealous o’ that.”

We all laughed, finding comfort in things that would never change, no matter how fucked up things had gotten.

Chapter Twenty-Two

WHEN WE WERE DONE LAUGHING at Finn, Ish raised a finger. “I have a suggestion.”

“We’re listening,” Jared said, hands on hips. I admired how he was able to stand there so cool, even while everything was completely and totally messed up around him.
Must come from being a few hundred years old.
I looked forward to the day I could be that chill, hoping I’d make it that far. Unfortunately it wasn’t looking good for that right now, what with me and all my friends trapped in a realm none of us knew existed before we arrived in it.

“I suggest you come back to my home and have a meal. Perhaps when Othello returns he will have some ideas.”

“Who’s Othello?” Scrum asked. “Did I miss something?”

I held up my dragon scale palm. “Talk to the hand, Scrum.” I snorted at my stupid joke.

“Othello is my dragon-partner,” Ish said, ignoring my interruption. “He and I have been together since I was very young.”

“Y’all have dragon-partners here?” Finn hissed out a long breath. “Great. Another fae I gotta be jealous of.”

Ish’s face went dark. “I am not fae. I have said that already two times. I prefer the fairer sex in my chamber.”

Finn just blinked at him.

I walked over and patted Ish on the shoulder. “We got it. You’re all man. Where we come from, fae doesn’t mean what it means here. It means we’re different. Not like ordinary humans. It has nothing to do with who we have in our bedrooms or whatever.”

He nodded slowly, understanding dawning. “It is true that I am not like ordinary folk. No one from my village is a rider. We are nearly extinct.”

I shrugged. “You’re probably fae.
Our
kind of fae.” I swept my arm out behind me at my friends. “Most of us were regular old humans up until a year ago. Then Jared found us and helped us figure out who we really were.”

“Who is Jared?” Ish asked, scanning all the faces before him.

Jared raised a hand slightly for a second. “Me. I’m Jared.”

Ish walked over and stopped just in front of him, staring him down, but not in challenge; more with curiosity if I was reading him right. “You see into the souls of others? You are a seer?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly. Probably not in the way you’re thinking.”

Ish looked at all of us. “We have a seer in our village, but he is often wrong. He saw that I would be lost to this world by my twentieth cycle.”

Jared stared at him. “Are you twenty yet?”

“No. But I am a rider, and I have survived many perils. It is not likely I will die with Othello at my side. My cycles will end when my hair begins to gray and old age takes me. Dragons are loyal. More loyal than a human could ever be.” He said the last bit with pride, his chin going up a little.

Jared shrugged. “Hopefully you’re right.” He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, by the way.”

Ish frowned at Jared’s hand and then held his own out, putting it behind Jared’s hand and bumping the back of it with the back of his. “I am happy to make your acquaintance, Jared of the fae.” He smiled a little and I had to believe that he was thinking
Jared of the gay
in his head. Same sex love meant nothing at all to the fae, but apparently it was a big deal here.
So much for hoping this was an advanced society.
I had been entertaining the idea that Ish’s people wouldn’t be too freaked out to meet us, but now I wasn’t so certain. I sure as hell didn’t want to get burned at the stake or whatever they did to fae around here.

Scrum stepped up next. “I’m Scrum. It’s very nice to meet you, Ish. Thanks for taking care of Jayne when I wasn’t able to.” They bumped the back of their hands, this apparently being our new secret handshake.

Ish looked at me. “He speaks for you? He is your protector?”

“Nope.” I jerked a thumb in Spike’s directly. “That’s my man over there. Spike.”

Spike walked over and banged hands with Ish. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Good to meet you.”

Ish nodded. “It was my duty. She is a woman in need. I am bound by my code to aid her.”

Becky smiled. “So romantic,” she said in a breathy voice. She walked over smiling to beat the band, her hand held out. “I’m Becky. I’m a water sprite. Do you have any lakes around here, by any chance?”

“Yes, we do.” He banged hands with her, although I could see he didn’t like doing it. Maybe chicks were supposed to curtsy here or something.

“We could go there,” she said, looking at all of us. “I could try and talk to some of the sprites if there are any.”

“Huh-uh,” Finn said, stepping up next to her. “No life partner o’ mine’s gonna go jumpin' in no swamp monster’s lair without backup.”

She rolled her eyes. “Jayne can go with me if you want.”

My jaw dropped open. “Wow, thanks for volunteering me to become fish bait. No thanks. I think I’ll pass on that one.” A flashback of her getting sucked into the depths of the lake by a siren during our changeling trial came back to me and sent a shiver down my spine.
No thank you. Not gonna watch that happen all over again.

Tony interrupted us with his own introduction. “Ish, I’m Tony. It’s really great to meet you, and I want to add my thanks to the pile. We’re really grateful you came along and helped us out. And Jayne.” He put his arm around me. “She’s pretty special, in case you hadn’t figured that out yet.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Shut up, baloney head.”

Felicia came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to look but she suddenly wasn’t there. She was on my other side holding out her hand to Ish. “I’m Felicia.” She gave him her extra sparkly smile, and he melted under the attention.

“Uhhh…juuuuu…,” was all he could get out.

I poked her in the back. “Let him go, Felicia. He’s innocent and not gayfae, as he’s already said several times. He’s too easy a target for you.”

Tony ignored the game she was playing. He was used to it, knowing it meant nothing to her. Something about her succubus nature forced her to bend people to her will at least once a day. I was glad Spike wasn’t like that; I wasn’t so sure I could be as charitable as Tony was about the whole thing, now that Spike and I had decided we were in a dedicated, monogamous relationship that did not include him sucking on the energy of other girls.

Felicia shook Ish’s hand our normal way, holding onto it for a little too long. “Nice to meet you.” Her fingers slid away, but his remained where they were, frozen out in front of him. As she walked away, she leaned down and whispered in my ear. “I’ve still got it, even in this realm.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whaddya know … men fall for psycho barbie succubi in other realms too. Who would’ve guessed?”

She tweaked me in the ribs, making me jump, and I acted like I was going to stab her by grabbing the hilt of the sword, but she just laughed.

Ish blinked a few times and his regular expression slowly came back, thankfully just in time to keep him from drooling on himself. “You have a very strange way of expressing your friendship, but I do believe that is what I am seeing.”