“
That night, we were
hunting for Alex. We’d been tracking the Cole’s hunting patterns
and had a pretty good idea of where we could find them. For Jase,
it was simple. We were going to find him, do a stealth attack, and
leave him unable to move until the sunrise put him back together
again so he would leave Timber and take the threat to your life
along with him.
“
Jase was on a quest to
protect you, and so was I. But that wasn’t all it was to me. Jase
didn’t like him because he was a wolf, and he could hurt you. I
hated him because of the way he looked at you, the way you looked
at him. I hated him because you chose to be with him instead of
me.”
I squeezed my arms around my chest, trying
to hold the shattered bits of my heart together by force.
“
When I saw you there with
him, touching him, something inside of me broke. My animal thought
of you as mine, despite everything. I don’t remember anything after
that. Jase told me what happened later, but my memories skip from
seeing you cuddling with the wolf to sitting in a hospital waiting
room, Talley telling me you would live.”
Charlie, who had always been too stubborn to
cry, even when he wore the evidence of his dad’s latest bender all
over his body, let the tears drip off his chin.
“
Everyone tells me it was
an accident, that I didn’t mean to kill him, but I think they’re
wrong.” His eyes finally met mine, and I flinched at the anguish I
saw there. “I am not a good person. I don’t have Tal’s heart of
gold or your integrity. I don’t know what really happened that
night, but I know it’s my fault. I know I will carry the guilt for
what I did to Alex and his brother and you the rest of my life. And
I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you have to know I’m
sorry. I should have said it sooner. I should have said it every
minute of every day for the past three and a half months, but I was
a coward, and I didn’t. So, I’m saying it now.
“
Scout, I am so
sorry.”
I rubbed at my eyes with my fists. “Can I
talk now?”
Charlie nodded.
“
I love you.” The words
spilled out of my mouth. “I can’t remember ever not loving you.” I
probably should’ve been guilt-stricken to say those words to
Charlie just hours after maybe-a-dream Alex said them to me, but I
wasn’t. I had loved Charlie my whole life. That emotion didn’t
diminish when I fell in love with Alex.
Charlie sobbed at my declaration, and I
almost lost the ability to speak. It was the most painful noise I
ever heard in my life. “And you were right when you said we can’t
go back to where we were. That night changed everything forever.
Alex will always come between us.” Saying the words aloud, I knew
they were true. Heartbreakingly true. “But there are some things
that will never change. I will always be your friend. A part of my
heart will always be yours. And I will always, always forgive you.”
Even if I couldn’t forget.
“
You shouldn’t,” came his
broken reply.
“
I was there, Charlie. I
remember. I don’t know what was going on in your head, but I know
how Alex died. You didn’t push him over the edge of that cliff on
purpose.” Once again I didn’t realize the truth of my words until I
actually said them. “It was an accident. Yes, you could’ve done
things differently and he would still be alive today, but the same
thing could be said for Jase. Or me. Or even Alex himself. We all
made mistakes that night, and we’ve all paid a price.” I wasn’t
naive. I knew we would all keep paying in some way for the rest of
our lives, no matter how short that might be. But we needed to move
on. All of us.
“
I don’t deserve you,”
Charlie said.
I attempted a smile. “And I don’t deserve
you. Guess that makes us even.”
It was three hours after Charlie left when a
phone rang at the top of the stairs. Bob answered, asked about “the
Matthews girl”, and then informed the caller “we” would be on our
way. When Bob opened the door and told Cory, who had been standing
guard since Travis’s shift ended, I finally realized Jase wasn’t
coming to see me.
“
Ms. Donovan, we’re
getting ready to take you out to meet your accusers,” Cory said as
he turned off the electricity going to the cage. “I’m going to come
in and put these handcuffs on you. It would be in your best
interest to not do anything stupid.” Since Bob was aiming a gun at
my head, I thought he was probably right. “We will be walking you
up the stairs and outside to the hall. Bob and I will be your only
escorts, but the rest of the Stratego and Taxiarho are standing at
alert. There is no chance for escape.”
“
I’m innocent,” I said in
a dull, defeated voice. “Why would I try to escape?”
Cory came through the door, and I held out
my arms to him.
“
Place your arms behind
you, please.”
I did as he asked. A tiny voice told me I
should be enraged at the indignity or terrified by the loss of the
use of my arms, but I really couldn’t be bothered to care. My talks
with Talley and Charlie left me emotionally drained, and Jase’s
inability to make an appearance left me feeling hollow. I knew what
was happening, what all of this meant, but I felt like I was
watching it on TV.
“
Thought you’d want to
know, Talley is going back to the Hagan Pack for now,” Cory said as
he snapped the cuffs into place. “Jase is going to stay there a
while too.”
“
Don’t mates always stay
together?” I asked even though I had a pretty good idea as to the
situation before Cory said it.
“
They’re not mates. The
queen decided to not recognize Jase’s declaration since he and
Talley both are now in training to become part of the Alpha Pack.
She didn’t want any complications should one of them prove to be a
candidate and the other not.”
My heart clenched even tighter, turning
itself into a tiny little bouncy ball in my chest. Talley was in
training to join the Alphas? What did that even mean? Did they give
her a choice? Or was this yet another “perk” of being a gifted
Seer? I was so lost in my thoughts Cory had to give me a push so I
would start moving.
It was strange to leave the basement after
two weeks of confinement. The light in the hallway was too bright,
the pattern of the kitchen floor a sensory overload. I had a crazy
desire to run back downstairs until Bob opened the French doors and
the evening air wafted across my face.
“
It feels amazing out
here,” I said.
“
It’s seven o’clock at
night and the heat index is at ninety-eight degrees,” Cory replied.
“It’s miserable.”
I disagreed. Sure, it was oppressively hot
and the humidity was so high it felt like you needed to do the
breaststroke to walk from one place to another, but there was
something to be said for the openness of the great outdoors. I
closed my eyes, confident Bob and Cory would lead me in the right
direction, and took a deep breath. Even with the new moon I could
pick out a million different scents. The lake. Pine trees. Roses. A
nearby cornfield. My gray wolf.
I almost tripped over my own feet. Cory was
opening the door to the miniature replica of the main house, but I
got another good whiff of the night air before being pushed inside.
The smell was definitely there.
There were two options. One, I could
rationalize how my panicked brain was creating something to comfort
me in my hour of need and forget it. Or two, I could believe that
Alex really didn’t leave me alone.
Since I didn’t have much else going for me
at the moment, I chose the second option. And thinking I wasn’t
alone made facing the lynch mob a bit more bearable.
Now, as lynch mobs goes, this one was
relatively organized and subdued, but as the roomful of eyes turned
towards me, there was no mistaking their intent. You could almost
hear a ghostly echo of “Burn the witch!”
The building turned out to be a one big room
type affair, probably operating as a game/party area when it wasn’t
being overtaken by a bunch of supernatural creatures. As it was,
rows of chairs lined up facing what was either the judge’s bench or
main stage, depending on your view of the whole affair. About
thirty Shifters and Seers sat in the chairs. I spotted Mr. Matthews
on one side, looking like someone just took away his next five
Christmases and birthdays.
The Hagan Pack sat on the other side. I saw
Talley sitting beside Toby, who had one arm draped across her
shoulders in what could only be described as brotherly affection.
Makya sat on Toby’s other side, a leer in his gaze even now. On
Talley’s other side sat the only person in the room who wasn’t
looking at me - Jase.
Cory and Bob led me past all the gawkers to
the middle of the open floor. Sarvarna and Stefan sat in the middle
on big, ornate chairs that were probably supposed to be thrones but
instead looked like Old Spaghetti Factory leftovers. To Sarvarna’s
right sat True, Mischa, and Lizzie, and to Stefan’s left were
Mandla, Hashim, and Travis. I sorta expected matching robes, or at
least some gaudy gowns, but everyone was dressed very business
casual. Sarvarna was rocking a black pant suit and crisp white top,
which looked both classy and evil, in a corporate take-over kind of
way.
Cory and Bob bowed at the waist. “My Queen.
Polemarch,” Bob said, addressing the Alphas. “I present the
accused, Harper Lee Donovan.”
There was a long pause when everyone looked
at me expectantly. I thought about mentioning my lack of Shifter
etiquette training, but decided keeping my mouth shut was probably
the best idea.
“
Will you not bow before
us?” Stefan asked, all holier-than-thou.
“
Sorry, I didn’t know I
was supposed to.” Not really knowing how to bow since I’m a God
fearing American, I sort of awkwardly dipped my head and shoulders.
My efforts got me a narrowed eyed glare from Sarvarna and a look of
exasperation from Stefan.
“
Would the accuser please
come forward?” My eyes naturally darted over to Mr. Matthews, but
he wasn’t the one who answered Stefan’s summons.
“
My Alphas,” Mrs. Matthews
said, dropping to one knee beside me.
For a single second the world went
completely still and silent for me. One second of stunned peace.
And then a rage fueled by exquisite pain engulfed me. It was a good
thing my hands were bound and the two much bigger Shifters had a
hold on me, because my body wasn’t my own for several long minutes.
The wolf woke, and she wanted blood.
“
Seer Matthews of the
Hagan Pack,” Stefan intoned. “You have a claim to make against this
girl.”
“
I do, Polemarch.” Her
back stayed ramrod straight, her voice didn’t betray even the hint
of a quiver, and her eyes stayed resolutely trained on the man in
front of her. There was no indication, not even the smallest of
hints, that she felt any regret for handing over a child she once
hugged and cuddled over to the proverbial wolves. “I have witnessed
this girl, who does not come from Shifter blood, Change. Such an
unnatural act could only be accomplished by a
Thaumaturgic.”
Stefan leaned forward ever so slightly.
“This is a very serious accusation. Are you certain you want to
proceed?”
“
Absolutely,” she said
with zero hesitation.
“
And you understand the
punishment that will be met if she is found guilty?” Stefan’s
reluctance seemed genuine, which was more than a little
unexpected.
“
I do, and I do not wish
to retract my claim.”
“
She was once a babe under
your care, was she not?”
Mrs. Matthews’s voice finally shook, but not
with the emotion I originally expected. “And I pray every single
day that God will forgive me for being led astray by this
devil.”
I heard a small gasp and didn’t have to turn
around to know its origin. Talley was as horrified by the words
coming out of her mother’s mouth as I was. Knowing Talley, she was
possibly even more horrified than me. At least I expected people to
be selfish and weak minded. She honestly believed everyone was good
and strove to do what was right. To hear her mother speak with such
vile and hatred probably turned her entire world view upside
down.
“
You are a woman of great
faith,” Sarvarna said. “May God hear your prayers with a gracious
ear.”
Mrs. Matthews once again dropped to the
ground. “Thank you for your kindness, your Highness.”
Since I couldn’t bear to look at her
groveling, I took the opportunity to scan the rest of the Alpha
Pack. On the Shifter side, Mandla and Hashim both looked like
trained soldiers ready to leap up and protect their Alphas at the
first sign of trouble while Travis was somewhere in between ready
to attack and ready to take a nap. The Seers, on the other hand,
were all over the place. Lizzie was fidgety. She would cross and
uncross her legs, and then do it all over again. I was pretty sure
all her fingernails were already gnawed to bits, but her fingers
stayed in her mouth all the same. She seemed even more spastic
because she was sitting next to the cool and collected Mischa, who
managed to look even more regal than Sarvarna with her perfect
posture and detached interest. True sat next to her, the princess
to Mischa’s Czarina. The way she relaxed into her chair and
regarded the audience as if they were sent to amuse her, but were
failing miserably, spoke of a lifetime of pampering and
entitlement.
Somehow, seeing their detachment made it
easier to push back the wolf and even gain a bit of distance
myself. After all, getting overly emotional and flipping out wasn’t
going to help anything. I might as well try to enjoy the show.