Till There Was You (12 page)

As she held him back and ran her fingers through his thick, dark hair, Linc felt—for the first time in many months—that he might actually need someone.

I
t all made sense now—his behavior, his unwillingness to approach her. He’d lost his wife. Lily felt awful for picking up that book and teasing him about it when it so obviously meant everything to him. It would be like someone coming and taking away the bar, or the mother of pearl hair clip from her mother—they were important things that kept the memory of someone dear alive. And she’d just laughed at him over one.

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured against his neck as her arms squeezed him tight. Swept away with his outpouring of emotion, she felt his loss as deeply as she’d felt her own many years ago. It was horrible for her to lose her parents, and the idea of losing a spouse put an ache in her chest that caused her eyes to burn with sorrow.

His chest shook. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered again, this time pressing her lips against the pulse point on his neck. She wanted to take his sorrow away. She wanted to ease it somehow. Her lips kissed his neck again, moving to his Adam’s apple, where she felt him gulp and still.

Pulling her away from him, his dark eyes looked down on her, swirling with storm clouds of emotion as his brow knitted tightly together.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, although this time, she was apologizing for being so bold. She was simply doing what felt right in the moment, but now she thought she’d made a terrible mistake.

Lifting his hands from her arms, he cupped either side of her face, his eyes seeming to take in every detail before he wiped away the tears that streaked down her cheeks.

Her breath shuddered at his touch, catching in her chest as he lowered his mouth to hers. He hesitated for a split second, then took her mouth in his in a kiss that was anything but gentle. It was ferocious—full of need, hunger, and desperate emotion.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Lily rose on her toes and met his voracity with a need of her own. She’d be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t been imagining this moment since the first time she saw him, and the reality of it did not disappoint. Every time his tongue slid demandingly against hers, a bolt of lust traveled to her core.

Moaning as she melted against him, Lily lost herself to the need of his mouth and heat of his touch as his hands moved down her body and gripped her ass, pulling her against him. Feeling his hardness pressing to her stomach, she reached between them and began undoing the buttons of his shirt.

The husky decided it was the perfect moment to start howling.

Gripping her arm at the wrist, Linc tore his mouth from hers, his wide eyes still filled with confusion, but also mixed with pure lust. “You should go,” he rasped out, releasing her hand and stepping back as he pulled his shirt closed. Lily caught a glimpse of what looked like scaring as he hurried to fasten his buttons with shaking hands.

“Linc,” she started, wanting to tell him it was okay. They could wait to do anything more until he was ready, but he didn’t give her the chance.

“Just
go
,” he demanded, his eyes flashing as he raised his voice.

Nodding, she turned away, trying to keep her emotions in check as she headed for the front door.

Numb, and more than a little hurt, Lily drove back home. It wasn’t until she got inside and under the hot jets of the shower that she finally let herself cry, wondering what the hell had happened while also worrying that she’d destroyed any chance she had with Linc by kissing him the way she did. He was a man tormented by grief. It was too soon. It was way too soon.

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L
ost in thought, Lily looked out the darkened window as she swept the floor in the bar a little after closing time. She couldn’t see much, just the lights from a few of the other businesses as well as the occasional taillights of a passing car.

“Still feeling down, Lil?” Bec asked, her bell-like voice cutting through the noise of Lily’s mind, bringing her back to reality.

“What makes you say that?” She leaned on the broom and looked at her friend, who was cleaning up behind the bar.

“It’s just that you’ve been sweeping that same spot for about half an hour now.”

“Oh,” Lily said, looking around the floor and realizing she hadn’t done anywhere near as much as she thought she had.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Moving to sweep about a meter to the left of where she was standing, Lily shrugged her shoulders a little. “It’s silly.”

“Still worried about Linc?” Lily had told her a little about what happened with Linc almost a week after the fact when she was pressed as to why she was in such a bad mood. Lily had stuck to the basic details—she was at his house helping with the dog then one thing led to another and they kissed, right before he threw her out and cut off all contact.

“It’s that obvious, huh?” Lily glanced up at Bec to see her nod, and sighed. “It’s just that it’s been three weeks now and he’s still avoiding me. I tried to go see him to talk it out, but he wouldn’t even come to the door. I keep hoping I’ll see him around town, but nothing...”

“Forget him then.” Bec bounced her shoulders as if the solution were that simple.

“That’s the problem, Bec, I can’t. Just the thought of him sends tingles under my skin.” Her voice took on a wistful quality as she remembered the kiss again. She’d replayed it so many times in her head it was beginning to feel as though it had happened years ago instead of only weeks. But the feeling—the need to have more—was still ever-present inside her. She couldn’t just walk away from a man whose kisses knocked her world sideways.

Bec’s soft laughter let her know she was daydreaming again. She couldn’t get the man out of her head.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go this crazy over some guy before,” Bec commented as she leaned down to slide another load of dirty glasses in the dishwasher.

“That’s because there aren’t a lot of guys around here to go crazy over,” Lily returned. “Small towns are great and all, but there’s slim pickings in the male department outside tourist season.”

“Well, there’s Brad,” Bec responded, speaking of her own boyfriend, who she’d also gone a little crazy over as of late.

“Now who’s the one sighing and daydreaming?” Lily laughed, poking fun at her friend as Bec’s expression softened.

A sharp knocking at the front window startled both women. They looked over to see Brad’s face grinning at them from the other side of the glass, amused at himself for making them jump.

“Speak of the devil,” Lily said, moving over to the front door to let him in.

“Ladies,” came Brad’s normal way of greeting every time he came to pick Bec up after work.

“Bradley,” Lily responded, taking some revenge as he winced at the use of his full name, a fact she knew well.

“Oh, the full name. Pissed I scared you, huh? Sorry, couldn’t help myself. You two are such easy targets.” He grinned, his face conveying nothing of the verbal apology.

Chuckling to herself, Lily continued sweeping the floor as he sauntered over to Bec and kissed her hello. “Almost done?” he asked.

“If you help me take these trash bags out, I might be,” she responded, batting her eyes in a way that had him turning to putty in her hands. Without the slightest objection, he picked up the bags and carried them out to the dumpster.

“All right you crazy kids, get out of here,” Lily said once they returned. “Oh, and make sure she gets home safely.”

Brad grinned and gave her a reassuring nod. “Of course. I always take care of my girl.”

“Good. And if it’s not on, it’s not on, all right?”

“Oh my god, Lily! You did not just remind my boyfriend to use a condom,” Bec hissed.

Lily gave an innocent shrug of her shoulders. “Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Don’t worry. I have plenty,” Brad said with a wink as they sauntered past. Bec yelped and slapped him in the shoulder, but Lily could see the smile that lit up her eyes. She loved the teasing.

“Night, Lil,” they called out as they opened the front door. 

“Goodnight, guys,” Lily said, locking the door behind them and watching them for a moment as they left.

Once out of sight, she headed over to the bar to pour herself a drink. She sat at the bar for a few minutes, nursing the glass, the ice making small popping noises as it melted into the fiery liquid. Once again, her mind went back to that kiss. Even with the regretful circumstances leading up to it, Lily still couldn’t regret the actual act. She’d never been kissed like that before and if Linc kept getting his way, she doubted she’d ever be kissed like that again.

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H
olding the short rope he was using as a dog lead, Linc let Shade do his business against a tree. The dog hated the restriction. He was used to being able to run free, but it was a necessary evil while he was still recovering from his injury.

As Shade sniffed around, Linc took a moment to look at the changing landscape. Spring was close; he could feel it in the slightly warmer air and hear it in the steady dripping of melting ice from the treetops.

It was still cold and the ground was covered in snow, but there was a freshness in the air that hadn’t been there before—things were starting anew. Although, perhaps it was just Linc’s outlook that was changing.

It had been four weeks since he’d kissed Lily. On his part, it was an act of pure emotion that had caught him off guard and stirred up his mind, making him more restless than he was before. Part of him had been surprised at how amazing it had felt to be close with someone like that again. Then the guilt set in, followed by the memories of his life before and the night it all ended. It was absolute torture and only served to remind him why he’d chosen the life he had. He was damaged goods and would only drag Lily down if he got involved with her, so he stayed away.

He was barely sleeping. Sleep wasn’t something he did a lot of anyway, but now, even medicated, he couldn’t seem to escape the nightmares. It was as if kissing her had made his heart start beating again. That in turn caused his mind to open up and release his memories, and there was nothing he could do to keep them at bay. He’d manage to sleep for an hour, or maybe two, then he’d wake up in a sweaty mess, even more hopeless than before because flickers of Lily were mixed with the nightmares. She was a bright light in a sea of darkness, reaching out a hand to stop him from drowning in his past. But he could never get to her. The current was too strong.

Shade pulling on his lead brought his mind back to the present. Even with his leg out of action, the dog still had boundless energy and could walk all day if Linc let him. When Shade was finally exercised enough, Linc led him home then went back to work on the structure he was close to finishing. It was the one good thing that came out of his troubled mind. He’d been building a greenhouse in which to house his own fruit and vegetable plants on the road to becoming self-sufficient. The month spent avoiding going into town had left him with little to do but work on his project.

Linc knew he would have to bite the bullet soon and head into town. Not only did Shade need to have his cast removed, but there wasn’t much point in building a greenhouse without the necessary plants to go inside it.

Dragging the next piece of timber in place, Linc hammered the nails to the bracket, affixing it to the structure. Stepping back, his thumb throbbed, making him realize how distracted his mind had been—he didn’t even feel the blow.

A howl from his husky told him it was time to take a break anyway. He headed inside and set about making coffee as Shade curled up in a tight ball close to the fire.

When the coffee machine spat and made a gurgling sound, Linc poured himself a steaming hot mug before heading to sit with his dog and stare unseeing into the fire. However, his mind decided to wander back to his old life....

Approaching the front door to his suburban home, Linc put on a brave face and raised his hand to knock. He had just returned from his last overseas tour. This time, his unit had been lucky. They’d sustained injuries, but there had been no casualties, meaning no funerals for fallen comrades now that he was home. He released a sigh of relief as he rapped his knuckles against the hard wood. At least this time he could just come home and try to enjoy it, although even that thought didn’t keep the things that haunted him at bay. Things men in battle were forced to see and take part in...they could destroy a man’s soul.

Clearing his throat, he peered inside the house via the side window, frowning when he couldn’t see anyone there. Using his key, he unlocked the door, but it was bolted from the inside and didn’t move more than a couple of inches.

“What the...?”

Confusion knitted his brow as he looked around for signs of activity. It was the weekend. The car was in the driveway and the curtains were open, but there was no movement, no sound or any type of reaction to his knock. He tried again, louder this time, and the same response met him—nothing.