Tightening the Knot (11 page)

           
“Oh my.
 
What do you think Judy would think of this guy?”

           
“Very nice, but not for my mother-in-law.
 
That’s a little creepy.”

           
“Get out!
 
This would make a great gift for anyone.”

           
Jenna was obviously joking, but the mention of Judy put them back on track.
 
They moved to what seemed a logical spot to find a gift idea as it was a large display labeled “Gift Ideas.”
 
There was a section for girlfriends, co-workers, favorite aunts and just about anyone else for whom you could possibly want to buy a present.
 
Meredith tried to find one for mothers-in-law, but her eye fell on the new parents section first.
 
A whole row of books with babies on the covers spread out before her.
 
Each baby was beautiful, smiling… and someone else’s.
 
Meredith had felt the frustration of not having a child for a long time.
 
She thought she had been handling it very well and she could not explain why it was at that moment that something broke.
 
She stood right there in the middle of the bookstore, still and calm, with a rush of tears falling down her face and no way to stop them.

           
Jenna noticed and went pale.
 
“Meredith?” she whispered.

           
Meredith shook her head.
 
There was nothing to say.
 
Jenna took her arm and gently steered her into the ladies’ room.
 
There was a floral couch inside the door.
 
Meredith had commented on it when they were here once before, wondering aloud why anyone would want to sit on a couch in a public bathroom.
 
That thought was nowhere in her head as Jenna deposited her on it and sat beside her a minute later with a pile of tissue.
 
Neither of them said anything for a full ten minutes.
   
They were a depressing sight and others came and went with their eyes carefully averted.
 

           
When Meredith had regained some self-control she said only, “I’m sorry.”

           
“It’s okay.”

           
“Really, I’m sorry.”

           
“
Really
, it’s okay.
 
I’ll wait till you’re feeling better.”

           
Meredith continued to dab at her eyes.
 
Despite the complete lack of privacy, it was actually not a bad place for a private talk, what with the constant sounds of flushing, hand dryers and water running.
 
And Meredith suddenly felt the need to pour her heart out.
 
It seemed everything else was coming out anyway.

           
“I can’t get pregnant.”

           
“You… I don’t, I mean I… I’m sorry?”

           
“Thanks.”

           
“How long… I mean, do you want to talk about it?
 
Is it okay if I ask?”

           
“Well, honestly, I don’t know for sure that I can’t.
 
Greg and I tried for almost two years.”

           
“But you don’t… Is there like a test or something?
 
I’m sorry if I’m being an idiot about this.
 
I… Have you been to a doctor?”

           
Meredith shook her head.
 
“I’ve been too scared.
 
I thought as long as I didn’t know for sure, there was still hope.
 
I wanted Greg to go to a doctor first, but he refused.”

           
“He refused?”

           
“Basically.
 
I started dropping hints and bugging him and after months of him ignoring me or changing the subject, I found a doctor and made an appointment for him.”
 
She paused to throw away some of the tissue.

           
“But he didn’t go?”

           
“When I gave him the information, he called right in front of me to cancel.
 
Then he threw the card away and said, ‘Don’t ask me again.’
 
That was almost three months ago and when things really went downhill between us.”

           
“Wow.
 
I had no idea.
 
I thought you guys were fighting over whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher or something.”

           
“Yeah, we fought about that.
 
We were fighting about everything for awhile, but it wasn’t until we just stopped talking that it really started to hurt.
 
I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you about it before.”

           
“Oh, Meredith, don’t be sorry about that.
 
I’ve always known that you’re very private.
 
I really respect that about you.
 
But I’m glad that you can talk to me when you really need to.
 
Is it helping?”

           
“A little.”

           
“Good.
 
So… are you thinking you might be ready to see a doctor now?”

           
“I don’t know.
 
It sort of feels like Greg and I have other problems to deal with now first.
 
I just wish he wasn’t so stubborn about it.”

           
“Well, no offense, but aren’t you being just as stubborn?”

           
Meredith gave a guilty nod.
 
“But he’s a guy.
 
Women are supposed to have babies.
 
We’re supposed to be made that way.”

           
“I think, isn’t it supposed to be kind of manly to get your wife pregnant?
 
Maybe he could be afraid of finding a problem as much as you are.”

           
“I really hadn’t… I guess I just thought there were more things that could be wrong with me so his part would be simple, but… This whole thing is
just,
it’s not something I ever expected.
 
I don’t know how to deal with it.”
 
She dabbed away the last bit of tears and took a deep, steadying breath.
 
“How did you get to have so much insight into men by the way?”

           
“Well…”
 
Jenna winked at her friend.
 
“I do watch a lot of chick flicks.”

           
Meredith smiled in spite of her swollen eyes.
 
It really did feel good to let go for a moment, though she still would have preferred a different venue.
 
Somehow, she felt more hopeful even though nothing had really changed.
 
At the very least though, she felt ready to get that last present crossed off her shopping list.
 
 

╣ Chapter 14 ╠

           
“Do we have any peroxide?”

           
“What!?”
 
Meredith answered a call from Greg while still walking up their driveway.
 
Jenna had just dropped her off from the shopping trip.

           
“Hydrogen peroxide.
 
Do we have any?”

           
“I think there’s some under the sink.
 
What are you doing?”

           
“Under the sink?
 
This stupid dog!”

           
Meredith was bewildered by this conversation she seemed to have joined in progress.
 
“Hang on, I’m right outside.”

           
“Wait!
 
Don’t come in!”

           
His urgency stunned her and she froze on the porch.
 
A few seconds later, Greg opened the door for her with his other hand firmly on Katie’s collar.
 
“I am not chasing her again.”

           
When the door was closed, Greg let go of the dog and they put their phones away.
 
Meredith followed Greg into the kitchen and saw that he had found some peroxide and was now trying to stick a turkey
baster
into the bottle.

           
“What are you doing?” she asked again.

           
“That stupid dog.
 
Stupid, stupid dog.
 
She ate the batteries!”

           
“Batteries?”

           
Greg got down a bowl and poured some peroxide into it as he explained.
 
“I was changing the batteries in the remote and I put the old ones on the couch next to me while I was putting in the new ones and she ate them.”

           
“The old ones or the new ones?”

           
“The old ones.
 
Does it matter?”

           
“I… I have no idea.
 
Is that dangerous?”

           
“Well, it seemed like a bad thing to me so I found a vet in the yellow pages.
 
They told me to make her drink about a tablespoon of peroxide.
 
It’s supposed to make her vomit so we can retrieve the batteries.
 
They suggested a turkey
baster
to do it so…”
 
He gestured at his operation.

           
“Okay.
 
Should I, like, try to hold her or something?”

           
“I don’t know.
 
She might bite you if she doesn’t like it.”

           
“You think so?”

           
“What do I know about dogs?
 
I feed them batteries.
 
Let’s just see how this goes first.”

           
Greg sucked just a bit of liquid into the
baster
and aimed it at Katie’s mouth.
 
She evidently thought this looked like a fun game of tug-o-war and immediately grabbed it.
 
Unfortunately, she grabbed it from the side so the end was not in her mouth.
 
Then she gave a good tug.
 
The
baster
separated, leaving Greg with just the bulb, while Katie dashed around the house with her prize.
 
She crouched into a playful bow, daring them to chase her.

           
Greg looked at Meredith.
 
“Maybe we do need to hold her.”

           
Meredith took a treat from the box on the counter and held it up where the dog could see it.
 
Katie dropped her new toy and ran to her.

           
“Okay.”
 
Greg was planning the next attack.
 
“I’ll hold her and you try to squirt it in her mouth.”