Tiger's Voyage (8 page)

I woke when the sky was still dark and checked my phone for the first time in days. No calls from Mr. Kadam. It was four in the morning. I didn’t feel like sleeping anymore so I popped my head out of the tent and saw the weak flames of a dying fire. Neither Ren nor Kishan were around. Placing a couple more logs onto the fire, I built it up until it was crackling again and wished up a hot chocolate. I sipped my drink slowly as I stared into the flames.

“Have a nightmare?”

I whirled around. Ren was leaning against a tree. I made out his white shirt but his face was in the shadows.

“No.” I stared into the flames again. “I just slept enough, that’s all.”

He stepped into the firelight and sat on a log across from me. The flickering flames made his golden-bronze skin glow warmly. I tried not to notice.
Why does he have to be so good-looking?
His blue eyes studied me intently.

I blew on my cocoa and looked everywhere but at him. “Where’s Kishan?”

“Out on a hunt. He doesn’t get to do it very often anymore, and he enjoys it.”

I grunted. “Well, I hope he doesn’t expect me to pick out the porcupine quills. If he gets those, he’s on his own.” I took another sip. “Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because I’m watching over you.”

“You really don’t need to. I’m a big girl. Go hunt if you want. In fact, you probably should. You’re still too skinny.”

“Nice to know you’ve been looking. I was worried you’d forgotten all about me.”

I raised my eyes to his and sputtered with anger. “Forgotten all about you?
Me?
Forget about
you
? I … you know what? You’re really starting to annoy me!”

“Good. You need to get it all out.”

I set down my mug and stood. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d love to have me profess my undying love for you while you laugh in my face and mock me!”

He stood too. “I’m not mocking you, Kelsey.”

I threw my hands into the air. “Well, why not? You might as well. You took away everything in the world that was important to me! You plucked out my heart, squeezed it in your hands, and gave it to the monkeys to play with. I shouldn’t have trusted you! What an idiot I was to believe that you actually had feelings for me. That you cared about me. That we belonged together. You’re just a … just a square pillow. And I’ve recently discovered that I like round ones!”

He laughed, which irritated me even more.

“I’m a square pillow? What does that mean?”

“It means we aren’t meant to be together, that’s all. I should have known that you’d trounce all over my heart. All those things you said, all those poems you wrote—they meant nothing to you. When we get home, I fully intend to give back every one of your poems.”

He stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, they don’t matter anymore. They might as well be thrown into the fire because that’s the only warmth they’ll ever offer me.”

“I don’t believe you’d do it.”

“
Watch
me.”

I retreated to the tent, grabbed my journal, and quickly leafed through the pages until I found the “Pearl without Price” poem. Running to the fire, I ripped the page from my book and stared at it.

“
Kelsey.
” My brown eyes met his blue ones. “Don’t.”

“What difference does it make? The man who wrote this is dead at best, a pretender at worst.”

“You’re wrong. Just because I don’t remember you now doesn’t mean that what I felt for you before was a lie. I don’t know why or how I did this to myself or why I forgot you. It doesn’t make sense. But I can assure you that I’m not dead. I’m alive and standing right here.”

I shook my head. Denying his words, I said, “You’re dead to
me
,” and dropped the page. I stared at it as it spun in the air. A tear coursed down my cheek as I watched the corner of the page catch on fire.

Faster than lightning, Ren grabbed the page out of the fire and crumpled the burning edge in his fist to put out the flame. He was breathing heavily, obviously upset. His hand quickly healed from the burn while I stared mutely at the charred edge of the precious poem.

“Were you always such a stubborn, blind, obtuse girl?”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Yes, but in a more poetic way!”

“Well, here’s a poem for you. Get lost!”

“I’m already lost! That much should be obvious! Why can’t you see what’s right in front of you?”

“What am I supposed to see? A tiger who happens to be a prince? A man who happens to hate me so much that he purposefully erased me from his brain with a magic spell? A man who can’t tolerate being in the same room with me for more than a few minutes? A man who can’t stand touching me? Is that what I’m supposed to see? Because if so, then I’ve got a pretty good view!”

“No, you
hotheaded
girl! What you’re not seeing is this!”

He grabbed me, yanked me up against his body, and kissed me. It was fiery and passionate. His lips were hot as they melded against mine. I didn’t even have time to react before it was over. He backed away and bent over, clutching the trunk of a tree. He breathed heavily, and his hands shook.

I folded my arms as I watched him recover. “What exactly were you trying to prove by doing that?”

“If you have to ask, then obviously I failed in my effort.”

“Okay, so you kissed me. So what? It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It
means
everything.”

“How do you figure?”

He took a big gulp of air and leaned against the tree. “It means that I’m starting to develop feelings for you, and if I feel them now, the likelihood of me feeling them before is pretty strong.”

“If that’s true, then remove the block.”

“I
can’t
. I don’t know what it is or how it got there or what this trigger might be. I was kind of hoping kissing you would do the trick. Apparently, that’s not it.”

“So …
what
? You thought you could kiss the female frog and turn her into your fairy princess? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but what you see is what you get!”

“What on earth would make you think I wouldn’t be interested in what I see?”

“I really don’t want to hash that out with you again. We’ve been over it before even though you can’t remember. However, in the short-term memory that you
do
possess, you might remember saying that Nilima was beautiful.”

“Yes. I remember saying that.
So what?
How does saying that she is beautiful mean you’re not?”

“It’s all in the way you said it. ‘
Too bad I wasn’t in love with Nilima …
she’s
beautiful
.’ Which implies I’m not. Don’t you know anything about women? Never call one woman beautiful in front of another.”

“I didn’t. You were eavesdropping.”

“The point is still valid.”

“Fine! Then I’ll tell you what I think, and may I go without another meal if I’m lying!
You
are beautiful.”

“That train has already zoomed on by, buster, and you didn’t have a ticket.”

He combed his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Is there anything I can say to fix this?”

“Probably not.” I put my hands on my hips. “I just can’t understand why you would
do
this. If you really loved me, then why would you choose this? The most logical conclusion is that you didn’t really love me. I knew you were too good to be true.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said it yourself to Kishan. You couldn’t imagine loving someone like me. See? Even you knew we didn’t fit together. You’re Mr. Perfection and I’m Miss Average. Anyone can see that, and those
were
your true feelings right after we rescued you.”

He laughed bitterly. “Believe me, I am far from perfect, Kelsey, and you are no more
average
than Durga is. I barely knew you when I said those things, and you’re misinterpreting my words anyway!”

“How so?”

“I … what I meant was … what I said was … look! You’re not the same person I thought you were then.”

“I’m exactly the same person!”

“No. I was avoiding you. I wasn’t getting to know you. I was—”

I ripped out another page.

“
Kelsey!
” Ren ran over and yanked the journal from my hands, groaning with the effort of being so close to me. “Cut it out! Don’t even
think
about burning another page!”

I grabbed the journal and tugged. “They’re mine to do with as I please.”

He yanked back. “You need to stop judging me based on things I said right after I got back! I was still traumatized, and I wasn’t thinking coherently. I’ve had time to get to know you, and … I like you!” he yelled. “I like you enough that I think I even understand why I loved you, despite how frustrating you are!”

I pulled on my book. “You like me …
enough
? Enough! Well,
enough’s
not good enough for me.”

He wrenched the journal again. “Kelsey, what else do you
want
from me?”

I tugged again. “I
want
my old Ren back!”

He stiffened and growled, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. The old Ren may be gone forever. And … this new Ren doesn’t want to lose you.” He glowered at me sullenly, moved his hand up to my wrist, and tugged me closer this time instead of the book. Then he said, “Besides,
you
said we could start over.”

“I don’t think that’s really possible.” I gave a final tug as he let go and moved away a few steps.

Ren dropped his hands to his sides and clenched his fists. In a dangerously low voice he said, “Then
make
it possible.”

“You expect too much.”

“No.
You
expect too much.” He took a step closer. “You’re
not
being reasonable. You need to give me
time
, Kelsey.”

I looked up, and we locked eyes. “I would have given you all the time in the world until Phet said you did this to yourself.”

“‘How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?’”

“Shakespeare isn’t going to save you this time, Superman. Your time’s run out.”

He scowled. “Perhaps I should have been studying
The Taming of
the Shrew
!”

“Okay, then here’s your first lesson: ‘My tongue will tell the anger of my heart. The door is open, sir; there lies your way.’”

“I don’t need a lesson. I already know how it ends. The guy wins. ‘Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?’” He crooked his finger and beckoned me closer. “In fact, come on over here and kiss me, Kate.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You botched the line, and you’ll find I’m not as easily won over as Katherine.”

Ren’s face tightened, and he threw up his hands in disgust. “Fine. You win. If you insist on giving back all my poetry then do it. But
don’t
burn it.”

“Fine! I’ll agree not to burn it, if you agree to leave me alone for the rest of this trip.”

“
Fine!
And incidentally, I don’t understand how I could have believed you were a warm, affectionate, and tenderhearted person! You’re obviously as prickly as a porcupine. Any man who comes close to you will end up with a face full of quills!”

“That’s right! A girl needs to have
some
defenses from the men who want to devour her for lunch. Especially when those men are wild tigers on the prowl looking for trouble.”

He narrowed his eyes, grabbed my hand, and nipped the inside of my wrist lightly before kissing it, though I could tell it caused him pain.

“You haven’t seen just how wild I can be,
subhaga jadugarni
.”

I rubbed his kiss off dramatically. “What does that mean?”

“It means … ‘lovely witch.’”

“Flattery gets you nowhere, and a backhanded compliment gets you less than nowhere. I’m well versed in your verbal tricks.”

He smiled mischievously, snickered, and dropped his gaze deliberately to my lips. “They must get me
somewhere
, or you wouldn’t have a journal full of poems.”

“Don’t you have something to chase?”

“Sure. I’ll give you a head start.”

I glared at him. “Not in this lifetime, pal.”

He folded his arms across his chest and grinned at me.

“Don’t do that. It just makes me angrier.”

I’d lied. Ren’s smile didn’t make me angrier. In fact, it was the opposite. It made me miss him. I felt sadness creep in around the edges, cooling my wrath down to a simmer.

“You never called me that one before.”

“What?
Subhaga
? Did I have other nicknames for you?”

I paused and answered slowly, “Yes.”

“What did I call you?” He tilted his head and appraised me in a mocking way. “I
probably
called you stubborn, close-minded, irritable, impatient—”

The unquenchable rage returned in a mighty blaze and burned so hot it bubbled over. I wanted to hurt him. “That’s it!” I pressed my hands against his chest and shoved as hard as I could but he was immovable and just laughed at my puny efforts, so I gave him a little zap.

“Ow! Alright, kitten, you show me your claws, and I’ll show you mine.” He pressed both of my hands against my hips, trapping them. I was mashed up against his chest, and his arms moved to become iron bands around my body. He kissed my neck and murmured softly, “I
knew
you couldn’t wait to get your hands on me.”

I gasped in outrage. “You … you … deserter!”

“If by deserter, you’re asking if I’ll have you for dessert, I’d consider it. Of course, I’d have to sweeten you up a bit first.” He laughed as he kissed my neck again.

I pushed myself away from him, quivering with frustration—
at least,
I think it was frustration.
I was seriously considering shooting enough voltage through his body to make his hair stand on end and wipe the infuriatingly smug smile off his face when Kishan crashed through the trees.

“What’s all the yelling about?” Kishan asked.

“Would you please tell your sorry excuse for a brother that I’m not talking to him anymore?”

Kishan grinned. “No problem. She’s not talking to you anymore.” He laughed. “I’d been worried you two were getting along
too
well. I should have known better.”