Tiger Tracks (Alaskan Tigers Book 9) (7 page)

“I believe the timing hasn’t been right,” Theodore offered when neither of them said anything.

“He’s right.” Mira nodded. “I’ve been wrapped up in my grief and guilt over what happened. Styx has been understanding and comforting. Even though both of our beasts are raging within, and the desire is getting stronger, he hasn’t pushed.”

“We’ll complete our mating when the time is right for both of us, not when the beasts demand it.”

“Let me put it this way. She’s still technically a member of the Connecticut Tigers, and if the mating isn’t complete by the time you arrive there, it could make things more challenging.”

“If you wish to protect her, then you’ll complete the mating before you leave West Virginia,” Raja added. “Otherwise, the new Alpha could see retribution for her role in what happened.”

“Who’s the new Alpha?” She wasn’t sure she really cared, because no matter what happened, there was no way she’d ever return to Connecticut.

“David,” Ty provided.

“He’s my brother, he wouldn’t…”

“His role has changed, and even though he would protect you, it doesn’t mean that the clan wouldn’t demand satisfaction for what happened.” Styx squeezed her shoulder. “I know what you’re about to say, but their freedom from Frank might not mean the same to them. He might have been vindictive, but he must have also had supporters within the clan, or else he wouldn’t have been able to take this much control.”

She sat there for a moment, obviously digesting what he had said before she gave a small nod. “Frank never trusted anyone enough to have a Lieutenant, but if he had, David would have been it. He was Frank’s right hand man when it came to almost anything.”

“Has he committed to our cause?” Styx asked trying to determine just how much a threat David was.

“Not at this time,” Ty said. “He has asked for additional time to make the decision so that he could determine how much of a clan he has left. My understanding is that there was death on both sides, and there are some who are only clinging to life. If their will is strong enough, they’ll come back from whatever happened. But if they’re true supporters of Frank’s, they might give up and die with their Alpha.”

“He had much to deal with, and while I think he might commit to me as the Queen of the Tigers, he had other things that required his attention at the moment.”

“Or he could be buying time to organize his clan for an attack,” Raja offered.

“So, if we go to Connecticut, there could be an attack waiting for us.” Theodore summarized the last several moments of the conversation into one statement, and unfortunately he was right.

“There could be.” Ty nodded. “David could have planned this so that you’d bring Mira home, and then kill you. Styx, I believe you have some reputation with the clan, do you have any idea why? Have you had a run-in with them before?”

“It’s because of what Frank said about him,” Mira said. “Styx’s name was used as a threat. If we didn’t fall into line and obey every command that was given, he claimed Styx would kill us. It wasn’t until after I met him that I realized all of it was a lie.”

“All of it?” He looked down at her questioningly.

“Sometimes a member would go missing from the clan, and Frank would say,
see what happens when you don’t listen to me. Styx comes for you.
But in reality, he was the one behind the disappearances. Things I heard over the years, and comments David made…I never put them together until it was too late. Frank was taking those who stood against him to one of the soundproofed rooms he used for punishments. He would torture them until he finally killed them. Sometimes we’d wake to find them strung up in one of the common areas for all to see, and he’d leave them there until they began to rot.”

“Then the visit with Styx at your side is going to be much more dangerous,” Ty said. “We don’t know the full situation there, so if you choose to go, we won’t know until you arrive what issues might come up. I’m sure Jinx would loan you additional guards for the journey, or I can send back-up and they should be there midday.”

“I know the situation has changed, since David is now the Alpha of the clan, but I still don’t believe my brother would request my presence only to kill me.”

“There are more ways to hurt you than to kill you. If he knows you’re with me, he’ll see whatever he has planned as a way to protect you from the evil within me.” He pulled his hands away from her but didn’t step back. “Even if David isn’t a threat, my enemies are numerous and there’s no doubt I have some among his clan. If they know you’re to be my mate, things could get dicey.”

“Not
could
.” Raja shared a glance with Ty, who nodded. “If you’re going, you need to be mated. Styx, you’re too important to the clan to risk things. Finalize the mating and go to Connecticut, or fly home. Those are your options. We won’t risk you going into an unknown clan’s compound, especially with only Theodore as back-up.”

“Is that a direct order?” Styx raised an eyebrow at them. He understood his position in the clan, and their future, but he hadn’t expected them to give him a choice like that. They should have known he’d take every precaution so he would make it safely back to the clan and continue his duty. He’d see that Theodore made it home safely as well. Even if the young bear didn’t see it that way, he was Styx’s responsibly.

“If it needs to be, then yes.” Ty dragged his hand through his shoulder length black hair.

Mira turned on the stool to look up at him. “You said you’re an Elder guard…so it’s only reasonable. They need you, and you have a job to do.”

“Shall we send additional guards to accompany you?” Raja leaned back against the chair and put his arm around Bethany. “If so, we’ll need to determine who and get them ready.”

“Everyone needs some sleep, so why not reconvene in the morning?” Theodore suggested. “Don’t worry about the guards at the moment. I’m sure we can obtain some from Jinx if they decide to do what is necessary and make the journey.”

“Very well. I want to know what the plan is by ten tomorrow morning. Jinx is kindly putting you up for the night, but if there’s to be additional issues with the Connecticut Tigers, I’d prefer to have you off the east coast. Right now you’re just a plane trip away.”

Raja cleared his throat when Ty leaned forward as if to end the transmission. “There’s just one more thing I’d like to add. Styx, you’re important to me when it comes to keeping my mate safe, and you’re the perfect partner with Shadow.”

“But?”

“But if you think you can deny the mating bond, you’re going to end up losing more than just the woman beside you. You won’t be able to focus on your duties, and will no longer be able to protect Bethany, or anyone for that matter. You won’t be the same unstoppable force that has always been there when we needed you, and you won’t be able to have Shadow’s back when she needs you, either. You’ll be giving up everything you’ve worked for. So, before you look at her with questions about this mating, I suggest you consider how much you’re willing to give up simply because you don’t believe you’re worthy of the gift that is before you.”

The computer screen returned back to the desktop, but even then Styx couldn’t pull his gaze away from it. Anger heated his body and his tiger paced inside him. He was livid, which was stupid because Raja’s words were the truth. It just wasn’t what Styx wanted to hear. The pending mating was throwing him off-balance, but as long as they denied the waiting bond, it would be nearly impossible to get anything accomplished. He wouldn’t be at the top of his game, and then what use would he be to the clan if he couldn’t perform his duties?

“I need some air.” Styx turned on his heels and headed toward the door. He wouldn’t go far, but he needed to think without having her scent tainting his mind.

“Styx…” Mira called to him as he opened the door.

“Why don’t you give him a few minutes?” Theodore suggested.

With a slight nod, she pulled the blanket tighter around her. “I’m sorry.”

He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, it was his, but the words wouldn’t come. He had just began to accept his past, and how it brought him to where he needed to be, but now that everything was changing again it was throwing his progress to the wind. He wasn’t worthy of her, or any mate for that matter. There was too much blood on his hands, some of it the blood of innocents. A man like that didn’t deserve happiness—or the love of a good woman.

Mira paced the inside of the small cabin, and with every minute that passed her beast became more on edge. The tigress within didn’t like being separated from the man that was supposed to be her mate, not with the bond incomplete. She was even more on edge because he seemed to be upset that they were to be mated. At first, she might have been appalled that she was to be his mate, and it was true that originally she would not have chosen him, but that had begun to change. She had seen a different side of him, one that was gentle, and she wanted to explore that. Even with her worst doubts, her beast didn’t seem to care about his past. It only wanted the mating.

She’d rather she had more time to get to know him before she was pushed into cementing the bond, yet she’d do what she needed to. There was a question that floated through her thoughts that she didn’t want to face.
Am I willing to leave my clan?
If David had taken over the clan, what did it mean for them? Would she be welcomed back, or would he reject her since he had worked so closely with Frank?

Mating with Styx would mean she wasn’t just starting her life over, or just with him, but also with a whole new clan. She was a supporter, but she’d have to find a way to give more to the Alaskan Tigers. Did she even have a skill that was worthy of them? Frank had kept most of the clan submissive, crushing all their desires. He’d give them jobs they hated so they wouldn’t be overly successful. He never wanted anyone growing so much that he’d have to squash them down again.
He made sure all of us were thoroughly squashed.

“I’m not sure who’s more conflicted, you or him.”

She paused and found Theodore reclined on the sofa, his head resting against the pillows, but his eyes on her. “The rollercoaster ride of life,” she retorted.

“You’ve been pacing for twenty minutes. Have you come to any decisions yet?”

“Decisions on what? I’m not the one who just walked out of here.”

“Raja’s words cut deep for Styx. He’s duty oriented, and the idea of not being able to perform his duties is a hard pill to swallow.”

She stopped pacing and came to sit on the chair next to the sofa. “I’m
not
a duty.”

“You’re right. He might have come here out of duty, but you’re his mate. Nonetheless, that wasn’t what I meant.” He adjusted so he could get a better look at her. “I meant that he doesn’t like the idea that he’s pressured into this mating in order to continue doing the only thing that he’s devoted his life to. Protecting Tabitha and the Elders. He’s strong enough to be an Alpha of his own clan, but he won’t do it.”

“I asked him about that, and he said it was because no one would follow him due to his past.”

“That’s his excuse, but it’s because he enjoys what he does. He’s a protector. The idea of him stepping into the position of Alpha, and then having people protect him instead isn’t something he would take well to. He would rather protect the people close to him than have them risk themselves,” he explained. “But there’s something else about him that you’re missing.”

“What?” She had never been around other species before, and wasn’t really sure what to make of the bear before her but he was starting to grow on her.

“He feels he doesn’t deserve you.” He scooted up to lean against the pillows. “Frank used twisted stories about Styx to scare your clan, but it was Styx who earned that reputation. He spent many years as an assassin, and the blood on his hands is thicker than most. While he might have left that life behind, he’s still an Elder guard and that means spilling blood occasionally. He believes you should be mated to someone who’s better suited to you.”

“Better suited to me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Styx has been soft with you so far, doing what he can to make you feel comfortable and hiding the worst of himself from you, but once the mating bond is intact, there’s nothing he can do to stop you from seeing everything. To have his mate shun him because of what he’s done, and who he’s become because of that, would break him. He’s a strong man, but to be denied the mate he had finally found due to the past that lead him to her could turn him rogue. When you agree to the mating, you need to be sure you’re ready.”

“There’s no way out of mating other than through death,” she reminded him.

“True, but there are ways to make your mate miserable, and if he was rogue that could break the connection as well. He would no longer be Styx, he’d just be the beast that normally lies within us.” He met her gaze. “You must be willing to accept him, all of him, because with that first rush of the mating bond, you’ll know everything about him. Possibly more than you ever wanted to know.”

“What if I learn something I can’t accept?”

“When that rush happens, don’t focus on the past, but focus on the now. Know that everything that happened brought him to you. He would lay down his life for a cause he believes in, and that’s the future of shifters. Because of those skills he learned as an assassin, he’s now able to defend the Elders of the Alaskan Tigers. Those were the same qualities that made Ty send him after you. There’s no one in the world that could fight for you like he will. Never doubt that the man is so much more than a former assassin or a guard. He’s not just a fighter.”

“What is he?”

Theodore shot her an all-knowing smirk
.
“That, Mira, you’ll need to learn for yourself.”

“Then it’s time to find out.” She tossed her blanket on the arm of the chair and headed for the door. “I’m going to find him.”

“I think it might be best to let him have sometime before…”

“It’s time I find out who I’m to be mated with. If this is going to work, it’s time we’re both open and honest with each other. It’s also time I find out why he’s under this notion that he’s not worthy of mating.”

“I wish you luck, because to get through to him you’re going to need it.” Theodore smirked. “I’m going to try to sleep.”

“I’ve a feeling I need more than luck.” She closed the door behind her and stepped out into the cold night air. Snow blew through the air in big thick flakes. She scanned the ground, but as far as she could see there was no one moving about in the darkness, not that she was surprised due to the late hour. She couldn’t even see guards, but then she had learned that the compound was large with over nine hundred and fifty acres, so the perimeter guards were probably far off in the distance.

Searching for Styx, she sniffed the air and was met with the scent of crisp wood burning in various cabin fireplaces. She’d give anything to be curled up in front of the fire, instead of out in the winter night. Whatever the issue was between them, they had to get over it and quickly. The longer it went on, the more the mating connection would grow. Already, the tingling was increasing within her, and soon that would become a painful burning.

She wasn’t sure about this whole mating situation, nor was she convinced he was the right one for her, but they’d have to find a way to make it work because death for either of them wasn’t an option. She strolled farther into the darkness, toward where she sensed him, and tried to remember she was safe within a compound.
Mated forever to a former assassin.

If the powers that be had thought this mating through, they’d have given him someone with more spunk. Someone who could save herself, not be cannon fodder. Since Frank had beaten the will out of the clan, that’s what she was. She hadn’t been raised to have a backbone. Even in the privacy of their one room, there had never been any resistance, not from her, her siblings, or even her parents. Everyone fell in line with what their Alpha ordered. The first sign of resistance she had shown was her support of Tabitha and the future she was trying to bring and even that had been hidden deep within. The only exception being that she’d told her sister.
Look where that got me. Next time I’ll keep my mouth shut.

“You shouldn’t be out here.” Styx’s deep voice drifted toward her just as he stepped out of the woods and headed directly for her.

“I’ve come to find you.” Her beast perked up at the sight of him, and she took a deep breath as if to wrap herself in the aroma of him. The deep evergreen scent with fresh rain and crisp…apples. It was the apples that threw her off, but she was certain of it now. Earlier, she hadn’t known what the sweet, slightly fruity scent was, but now she had no doubt.

“I’d have come back in a bit. There was nothing that should have brought you out here.”

“You brought me out here.” She closed the distance between them until she was only a few steps before him. “Why do you look at me like that?”

“Like what?” He clasped one hand over his opposite wrist and watched her.

“You look at me like you want me, but at the same time as if you want to run. What about me makes you so appalled?”

“You think this is about you.” A deep chuckle sent a sparkle of glee to his eyes.

“You don’t want to be mated to me, and I get that. I’m not strong, or a fighter, but unless you’re willing to kill me, then we’re stuck with each other. I’m sure as hell not going to commit suicide just to make your life easier, and I don’t have the skills to kill you even if I wanted to.”

“It’s just like a woman to think they have it all figured out.” He shook his head. “Catnip, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” She tipped her head to the side in question. “I think I see it quite clearly. You’re not happy with this mating, which is fine because I’m not sure how I feel, either, but we’re going to have to deal with that.”

“How do you suggest we deal with it?”

“I suggest you start by explaining why you seem to despise me.”

“I don’t, and if that’s what you think, you’re not looking closely enough. Either that or your misreading the situation.” He nodded to the bench. “We won’t get any privacy in the cabin so why don’t we sit and talk.”

“I hope if I’m going to sit out here in the freezing cold and the snow you’re going to tell me what’s going on with you.” She strolled forward and took a seat on the bench.

“If you think this is cold, wait until you get to Alaska,” he teased and sat beside her.

“So?” she questioned when he didn’t make a move to tell her what the issue was.

“I spent more than half my life as an assassin, and have only begun to atone for the blood on my hands since I’ve become a part of the Alaskan Tigers. I’ve been promoted from a perimeter guard to one of the Elder guards, but it’s still not enough. Have I tried to change people’s opinion of me? No, because it keeps the Elders safe and that’s my goal. I have much that I still haven’t accepted in my past, so how can I expect my mate to accept those things? I expected more time to atone for what I’ve done before mating, so that my mate would be able to see the changes in me. Most just see me as a cold-blooded killer that I take someone’s life without emotion, but it’s not true.”

“Since we’re being honest, I’ll admit that you scared the every loving hell out of me when I found out who you were.”

He smirked at her. “I remember. I thought I’d have to knock you unconscious to get you into that SUV and onto the plane. That would have just been another thing we’d have to overcome to make this work between us.”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I think we can do it.” She reached out and placed her hand over his. “Maybe it’s this mating bond between us, but to me you’re a different man than you were before. Coming to my rescue proved that. The point is, I’m not terrified of you like I was before. Am I thrilled with your past? Maybe not, but our past brought us to where we are. It would’ve been easier to keep quiet about my support for Tabitha. But then I wouldn’t have been here, and I wouldn’t have found you.”

“Our past and our decisions brought us here, but once the mating is cemented, you’ll know how grizzly my past is.”

“But I’ll also know the man you are now, and the man before me matters more than the person you once were.”

He scooted closer and put his arm around her shoulders. “Here’s to a future of brighter tomorrows and less looking into the darkened past.”

They sat there in silence for a moment, and she realized they had overcome something. It was the first hurdle, but it was something, and there was an ease between them now. “Styx…” She tipped her head up to look at him, her cheek brushing against the thin material of his shirt. “I need…I need to see them. I need to see David and anyone else who survived.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“Afraid of that, why? Do you think he’d call me back into a trap?”

“It’s possible it could be a trap, but if we’re going to go, we’ll make sure we’re prepared.”

“What do you mean
if
we go? I told you I need to go.”

“But the question is, can you handle what you might find there?” He adjusted to look at her but kept his arm firmly around her. “We know David survived and there must be some others who survived, otherwise he wouldn’t have claimed Alpha status, but we don’t know if any of your other family members or friends survived. Going and finding out that most or all of them are dead is going to be a shock, and you’re going to want to grieve but we can’t show any weakness.”

“I am a weakness.”

“Catnip, you’ve got more fight in you than you give yourself credit for. You survived for days on your own. Your spirit has been broken, but you’re not weak. The sense of freedom you have now is sparking the tigress within you to rise. The beast won’t be stifled easily this time.” He tangled his hand into her hair, his fingertips brushed against her scalp. “I’m going to help you regain your sense of freedom. No one will ever hurt you again.”