Tiger Moths (7 page)

“Wow,” he gasped, “what was that for? I mean I’d like to know what I did to deserve that so I could do it again and again – about a million times.”

“It’s just that, well, I love how much you understand me.” That is not what she meant to say, not what she was really feeling. What she meant was that she loved him. Why couldn’t she tell him so? After all, he had already expressed his love for her. And she had heard all of the stories about people who didn’t ever get a chance to say “I love you” before some tragedy struck. But something had stopped her. What was it? Fear? She felt she loved him, she felt she knew him, she felt she wanted to live out her days with him, share her life with him. But she didn’t know it – not a knowing of certainty, but a knowing beyond feeling. Her Bible studies had taught her much about the deception of feelings. So, for the moment, that was all she allowed herself to say.

He kissed her sweetly on the forehead, squeezed her hand goodbye, and walked away. She did not want to, but her eyes followed him to the door. She watched his confident walk, his dark skin and jet black hair cut close like she liked a man’s hair. She could see his muscular arms even through his shirt, and knew he had the legs to match. She resisted the urge to run after him, to toss aside her studies and be with him. Oh, how much she yearned to throw herself in his arms. But her will to stay strong finally won as the door closed behind him, echoing through the empty library.

The night was a long but very productive one. Dale finally found the linchpin case law she had been looking for. It was the clincher; she knew no other team would find it. She knew because no one worked harder than she did. She knew, too, that hard work was her way to success.
Mom, Dad, thank you for teaching me so well.

She was sluggish the next morning, but had still managed to get up at seven and put in a five mile run. She poured some orange juice and read the paper. By now it was nine o’clock and there was no Laura. Odd, she thought - Laura always got up when she heard her rattling around in the kitchen. Dale laughed to herself as she recalled the melodramatic way Laura would run into the kitchen and shout orders.

Dale always believed that God had truly blessed her with Laura. Theirs was an unlikely partnership that she treasured. Who knew that a “need a roommate” flyer posted on the school bulletin board would really work out for the long haul? And yet she prayed without ceasing for Laura to know Jesus the way she did.

“Laura, you truly are one of a kind,” Dale mused aloud. “Now where is that little nut case?”

Setting her empty glass in the sink, Dale walked down the hall and tapped gently on the door to Laura’s bedroom. No response. She knocked again and slowly opened the door. “Laura? Laura, are you up? Get your lazy tail out of bed. You know I need….” She stopped short when she saw the made bed. “Laura?”

Dale went to the bathroom. Laura was not there and everything was in place.
Okay, Dale, don’t get ahead of yourself now; she’s a big girl. Oh, who am I kidding, she would have called me; she always lets me know where she is. I wish I could get her to stop running around so much and go to church with me. Laura, where are you?

Before she could panic any further, the phone rang. Dale picked up quickly, hoping Laura would be explaining her whereabouts.

“Hello. Laura, is that you?”

“No, sorry, Dale, it’s not Laura. It’s just Paul. I was calling to ask you when you want to get together for our moot court prep work.”

“Oh, Paul, I’m sorry. It seems I’ve misplaced my roommate. I was hoping she was calling in to let me know where she was. I was up late doing research and I’m pretty sure I’ve found a break-through case to support our argument.” Dale hoped she was hiding the panic she felt.

“Wow that sounds great. And I may be able to help you find your roommate. Uh…oh, maybe I should not say anything.”

Dale was completely baffled. “Paul? If you know anything about where Laura might be you should let me know - now. Why would you not want to tell me?”

“Well it’s just that… Okay, Dale, I like you a lot, and I guess someone should tell you the truth about what is going on.”

“The truth about what’s going on? What truth? What are you talking about? If you have seen Laura you need to let me know – period. She’s my best friend, Paul. Is she in some kind of trouble?”

“I know she is your best friend. That is what makes this so hard. But I was at Maxy’s last night and saw Laura there. She was sitting at the bar, just sitting there by herself.”

“That’s unbelievable. Everyone knows that Laura is the life of the party. She has never been a loner.”

“Yea, I know, but when I went over to her it got even more bizarre. I called out her name and she never even turned around to me. But I could see her face in the bar mirror, and that beautiful smile was gone. Black trails of makeup were running down her face. I had never seen her like that. I never even imagined she could look so distraught. As I approached her, another tear rolled down her face. It was pretty alarming. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Paul! What happened to her? What did she say? Where is she now? Why hasn’t she called me or come home?”

“She told me to go away. She asked me to leave her alone and then mumbled something about it all being over for her. I was confused as to what I should do. Finally she literally pushed me away. And then…”

“Then what? What happened?”

“Then Jason came in.”

“Jason?”

“Yes. Jason came over to her and put his arms around her. They talked for a moment and then left, together.”

“What did they talk about?”

“Well I’m not completely sure, but I think Laura said…. Well I think I heard her say the word pregnant.”

“What?”

“Now, Dale, I can’t be sure. They were whispering and I was walking away.”

“Where did they go?”

“I don’t know. I just watched them walk out the door. But when Jim came in to join me for dinner, he said he saw them out by Jason’s car. He said he saw them kissing each other. Then he saw Jason put her into his car. That’s all I know. Honest. Dale, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this. I know you really like the guy.”

“I’ve got to go, Paul. I’ll talk to you later.”

Dale hung up the phone and realized she had not been breathing during Paul’s revelations. She breathed out, hoping to expel the terrible reality she was facing. Her trembling fingers hit the first number on her speed dial. “Please pick up, Jas. Please be there. Please, please tell me this isn’t true. Tell me you have not been sleeping with Laura. Tell me she is not pregnant by you.”

“Hello,” a slurred female voice answered.

Dale froze. Every part of her body was shocked into paralysis.
Who is this answering Jason’s phone? Jason and…Laura? No, Jason, please no!

“Hello?” the distant, disjointed, yet familiar voice on the line repeated. Click. Beep. Beep, beep.

The beeping echoed through her mind, through her heart, penetrating her very soul. She managed to cradle the phone and collapse on the couch. All was black and vacant and hollow. All she thought was real was gone, if it ever really existed in the first place. It was over, like a flat-lined heartbeat, never to recover.

Oh, heavenly Father, how can this be happening? Why? Oh, Father, why?

Dale had been on the couch for over two hours, but she had no concept of time. Her world was not only upside down, it was completely alien to her. At some point Arthur had jumped into her lap to offer her comfort. She knew he sensed her misery and she desperately needed his presence.

Dale reached under Arthur’s neck and scratched his favorite spot. He purred his appreciation. Not trusting her voice, she said nothing. The room spun out of control. Numbness replaced the absolute gut-wrenching pain that coursed through her body. Betrayed by the two people she loved, her thoughts turned to Christ.
Jesus, how You must have suffered by the betrayal of Judas, of all of Your children. Oh, Father.

Arthur jumped down and ran to the door as it creaked open. Dale stayed motionless and closed her eyes. She knew that it was Laura. No one else had a key. What was she supposed to say to her? How could she even look at her?

“Dale?” Laura called.

Dale bit her lip and the tears spilt out of her eyes. Laura walked around the couch and saw Dale for the first time.

Laura ran to her stricken friend and fell to her knees. “Dale, it’s not what you think! Nothing happened between us. Jason just gave me a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t cheat on you. I was distraught. I kissed him, but we both stopped. We love you. Please, Dale, you have to believe me.” Laura’s pleading voice rang in her ears, but did not immediately register.

Thoughts filled her mind, fighting for organization. She knew how much Laura and Jason liked each other. And she knew how her own drive to succeed had led her to sacrifice precious time with Jason. But Laura was telling her nothing had happened between them. She finally found her voice

“Laura, just tell me, what were you doing there?”

“Dale, I’m pregnant! I told Bob just before Jason got to the bar. He just laughed and said he would help pay to get rid of the problem. I slapped him. He threw a couple of hundred dollar bills on the bar and walked out. Just like that. I know a lot of people think I’m just someone who loves to party, but I could never abort this child. I cannot kill an innocent child. So I just sat there thinking how I had just thrown away my career. I could not believe how stupid I was.”

Laura took a deep breath to regain her composure, and then pressed on. “So when Jason got there I just fell apart. Jason came in and found me like that, and I just totally lost it. He told me he knew Bob was not good enough for me. He told me I wasn’t a loser. He said such wonderful things. I got lost in them and I kinda threw myself at him. Dale, I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me. You know I love you like family. You are my dearest friend and I need you. I was just so upset about everything. I was even upset about what you would think of me. You have always been so good. You have always tried to tell me about the consequences of my actions. I should have listened to you. My life is changed forever.”

It was Bob’s baby, not Jason’s. Jason and Laura have not cheated on me.
Dale stilled herself and prayed for strength. Her pain was still fresh, but she felt God’s grace and knew she could forgive Laura. She realized how important it was to demonstrate that grace to Laura, an unbeliever. “It’s going to be okay, Laura. I promise. But where is Jason now?”

“I don’t know; the phone woke me up. I guess I just answered it without thinking.”

“Laura, why didn’t you come to me? I am your best friend.”

“Dale, you are my best friend and I didn’t want to…” She stopped and took a deep breath to stifle the sob about to erupt in her throat. “I have disappointed you. You are so strong and so good, and I’m just …”

“You are just a sinner. You are just like I am, just like everyone is. I am no better than you, and you are not worse than I am. We all come short of what our heavenly Father wants for us. But what we, as human beings, forget is that God wants the very best for us no matter what we do. And because He created us, He is the only one who really knows what that is. So when we make wrong choices that hurt us, He hurts with us. You have not disappointed me at all. You made a decision that was not in God’s will, but He loves you and will forgive you. And Laura, He has plans for us, to prosper us and to give us hope and a future, all because He loves us more than we could ever imagine. Even in the bad things that happen to us or that we do ourselves, He can use those too for good. And now that you are home, the two of us will figure out how we are going to rearrange the apartment, because pretty soon it will be the three of us.”

“Home? Really? Oh, Dale, I love you. Can I ask you just one favor?”

“Anything, my friend.”

“Can I, uh, can I go to church with you this Sunday?”