Through the Door (11 page)

“Aye, they’re on their way here as we speak. Should be here any minute now.”

Cedar thanked him and continued stirring her coffee. She wondered where he was from. He spoke with an odd sort of accent, but she couldn’t quite place it. One minute he sounded as if he were from Scotland, the next from the American South. Maybe he had moved around a lot as a kid, she mused, but she thought it would be rude to ask.

The bar suddenly grew lighter and she saw the door open in the mirror behind the rows of bottles. Cedar recognized Murdoch and Anya from earlier, followed by Rohan and Riona, Finn’s brother, Dermot, and his sister, Molly.

Riona came over to hug Cedar. “Cedar! I’m sorry we didn’t return your calls yet. We’ve been very busy, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“We need to talk,” Cedar said without ceremony. She stood up and looked at Rohan. “I’ve had some time to think, and I hope you have too. There are a lot of things I don’t understand, but the most important issue right now is finding my daughter.”

She waited in case he wanted to say something, but when he remained silent, she continued.

“I don’t want to hear any more talk about you taking responsibility for her. I’m her mother. No matter how important you think Eden is to you and your people, she’s”—Cedar’s voice broke and she paused to regain control—“she’s a thousand times more important to me. But I do want your help. I
need
your help, and you need mine too. I know her better than any of you. You don’t know her at all. So, with you knowing Nuala and me knowing Eden, maybe we can work together to find them.”

She paused again, but still no one spoke, so she took a deep breath and soldiered on. “When we find her, she’s staying with me, even if she is one of your people. But if you’ll actually tell me who you are and why Eden is so important to you, I
might
be open to letting her get to know you, if she wants. But if I can’t trust you, I’m not letting her get within a mile of you. And keeping me in the dark about what’s really going on is not doing a whole lot to gain my trust. So…what’s it going to be?”

She sat back down on the barstool and picked up her coffee cup, just for something to do with her hands. She stared at
Rohan over the rim of her mug. She had said her piece, and the ball was in his court now. There was silence.

Finally, Nevan, whose presence Cedar hadn’t even noticed, spoke up. “Makes sense to me,” she said. Cedar felt a rush of gratitude toward her.

“Now wait just a minute,” came another, more hostile voice, and Cedar bristled inwardly. Murdoch was striding toward the middle of the room.

“Don’t go making any promises we can’t keep,” he growled at Rohan, ignoring Cedar completely. “That child’s rightful place is with us.”

Anya joined her husband’s side. “I agree,” she told Rohan. “Think about it, about what this could mean. She could be—”

Rohan cut her off before she could finish her sentence. “That’s enough,” he said. “I am aware of what the child means.”

Cedar stood up again. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about! What does she mean? How am I supposed to trust you if you know something about my daughter but won’t tell me what it is?”

Rohan looked at her, and there was great sadness in his eyes. “Cedar,” he said, and paused, “I am truly sorry for what has happened to you. It’s…it’s a tragedy, there’s no other word for it. We will find Eden, but we can’t tell you everything we know. There is too much at risk. It’s best if you go home now. We’ll contact you when we find her.”

Cedar sat motionless as she processed his words and struggled to find her own to use as a weapon against them.

Riona looked at her husband. “Rohan, are you sure? None of this is her fault. I don’t think alienating her is going to help anyone.”

“She’ll just get in the way,” Murdoch argued. “Someone will have to keep an eye on her.”

“Yes, but it’s her daughter we’re looking for. What’s she supposed to do, just go home and do nothing? Would you?” Riona shot back.

“It might be safer for her that way,” said a voice from the other side of the room, and Cedar recognized Sam from that morning.

She listened to them argue, but it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to keep her from finding Eden, or from getting answers. She cleared her throat and stood, ready to tell them that if they wouldn’t help her, she would just do it on her own, when suddenly the back door to the kitchen swung open and all the oxygen in the room went out.

Everyone in the bar froze. Felix was the first one to speak. He addressed the ashen-faced young man with a headful of messy curls and unmistakable golden eyes standing in the doorway.

“Welcome home, Finn. Can I pour you a drink?”

Cedar stood perfectly still, unable to move. Since Eden’s disappearance, she had almost forgotten that she had been trying to find Finn, and now here he was, standing not ten feet away from her. She felt blood rush to her cheeks. Her body started to tremble, and for a few panicked moments she thought she had forgotten how to breathe. Then her lungs remembered and her heart started pounding, hard and fast, as if it were trying to escape the confines of her chest and leap across the room.

Finn was ignoring Felix’s question and staring at Cedar. His face hadn’t changed since the last time she saw him, only now it was filled with longing. His eyes bore into hers so intensely she had to look away. Cedar had imagined this scene a thousand times in a thousand different ways. She had imagined running into him on the street, or answering the door to find him standing there, or seeing him across a crowded art gallery in a foreign city. She had imagined what she would say to him—she would tell him how much she loved him and how sorry she was for whatever she had done to make him leave, and she would beg him for an explanation, for a chance to make things right.

But it had been years since she’d given up hope of ever seeing him again. Longing had turned into anger; despair into resolve. Life had turned into survival. Now, she had no idea what to say to him.

“They told me about Eden,” he said, his voice a whisper. “I came to help. I got here as soon as I could. Cedar…I’m so sorry.”

When she still said nothing, Finn looked at his father and said, “What are you doing? Why are you sending her away? She needs to know what’s going on.”

Rohan looked affronted. “Fionnbharr, this isn’t—”

“You don’t think I get a say in all of this?” Finn said. His cheeks flushed, and his eyes flashed. “Cedar is Eden’s
mother.
She needs to know the truth.”

Rohan crossed the floor to his son. “You don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand?” Finn interrupted. His voice cracked through the room like a whip. “Who here understands her better than I do? My daughter has been taken, and Cedar needs to know why.”

Perhaps it was the way he said the word
my,
or maybe it was his assumption that he understood her, but Cedar felt as though someone had thrown a switch inside her. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears and found her feet moving toward him. His face softened, and then tensed in confusion as she crossed the room. Her palm hit his cheek with a resounding smack, and she felt the pain of it shoot up her arm. When she spoke, even she was surprised by the hostility in her voice.

“
Don’t,
” she said. “Don’t call her your daughter. You think you understand me? You think I’m still the same person you left?” She felt hot, angry tears prick her eyes and struggled to hold them back. “Don’t you
dare
call yourself her father.”

Finn’s face twisted in agony. “Cedar,” he whispered, the softness of his voice a sharp contrast to hers. “I didn’t know.
I swear
I didn’t know about her.”

“And whose fault is that?” she demanded hotly. “I tried to tell you. I tried to find you.
Seven years of nothing.
I didn’t even know if you were still alive.”

“It was for the best,” he pleaded. “I can explain everything. I’m sorry, and you’re right, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but trust me—it would have been worse if I had stayed.”

“Trust you?” Cedar screamed, and then laughed sardonically. She was starting to feel quite hysterical. “Why would I trust you, Finn? You left me with nothing!”

“You had Eden,” he said quietly. “She wasn’t nothing.”

“AND NOW SHE’S GONE!”

Cedar swayed on her feet, suddenly exhausted beyond belief. Someone placed a barstool under her and she sat down hard, and then promptly burst into tears. Riona and Nevan rushed over to her, but she hid her face in her hands and turned away from them. She felt so completely overwhelmed, so desperately alone in this room of strangers. She felt ashamed of her outburst, startled by the intensity of her anger. This was not the reunion she had dreamed of.

The awkward silence, punctuated only by her sobs and gasps for air, was finally interrupted by Murdoch, who said, “Enough of this nonsense. We’ve got to get on with it. Finn, why don’t you take your girlfriend home, sort things out, and then meet us back here.”

Finn seemed shaky on his feet too, but his voice was firm when he answered, “I’m not taking her anywhere until she’s had some answers. And then it’s up to her if she wants to go home or stay with us.”

“Look at her, man!” Murdoch said, his face incredulous. “She’s a bloody wreck! She’ll only slow us down, and we don’t have time to waste!”

“I agree with Finn,” said a perky voice that belonged to Finn’s sister, Molly. “It should be her decision!”

“This is bigger than just her,” argued Anya. “We need to do what’s best for us.”

“But what if she can help?” Nevan asked.

“No, it’s too risky,” Anya shot back.

“Stop it!” Finn bellowed, throwing his words into the melee like a grenade. Everyone stopped talking and looked at him. “What’s the matter with all of you?” he asked, seeming genuinely bewildered. “Have you learned
nothing
about humans in all this time?”

Rohan cleared his throat loudly, and Cedar looked up, her face a mess of tears and her nose running. Felix handed her some napkins and she started wiping her face, keeping her eyes on Finn’s father. He was gazing at Finn with a peculiar expression. “Murdoch is right,” he said. “We don’t have time for this, and there are certain things that are only for us to know for the time being.”

Finn started to protest, but Rohan raised his hand and Finn kept silent, although the look on his face was mutinous.

“However,” Rohan continued, “there is a new element to consider now.” He looked pointedly at Finn, as if to say
he
was this new element. “She can stay if she wants, but she is
entirely
your responsibility. And if this unfinished business between the two of you starts getting in the way, it will only make it more difficult for us to locate your daughter. Do I make myself clear?”

Finn nodded, and Rohan looked at Cedar.

She hesitated, and then nodded as well.

Several glances were shared around the room, and then Rohan said, “Now, could I speak to you in private,
son
?” and the two of them stalked off into the kitchen.

Felix refilled Cedar’s coffee and handed it to her with a sympathetic smile.

“Quite a shock then, seeing him again?”

She let out the breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding. “You could say that.”

“Well, none of us have seen him in a long time, either,” Felix said. “But it will be good to have him back, to be sure. I know you think he did you wrong, but he’s a good man, young Finn is, and I’ve known him since he was a babe. He’s not got a bad bone in him. Whatever he did, he had a good reason for it.”

Cedar raised her eyebrows but said nothing. She sat in silence, half-listening to the whispers and muted conversations around her. Finally, the two Donnellys emerged from the kitchen, both looking grim. Finn walked away from Rohan and slowly approached her, as if he was afraid she might spook and run if he came up too fast.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me,” he said, “but I can give you some answers if you’ll listen.”

Cedar looked at him standing there, so forlorn and yet so heartbreakingly beautiful, like a lost angel. She could feel her body responding to his closeness, even though he was standing three feet away, and she cursed the sudden warmth that flooded her veins.

“Yes, I want answers,” she said. “Starting with who, or what, you people are.”

“Do you remember when we were together, and I used to bring home books from the library about the Tuatha Dé Danann? Sometimes I would read some of the stories to you,” Finn asked, looking hesitant.

She nodded slowly.

“You said you had read some of the stories before, in a book of your mother’s you found as a child,” he continued.

“Yes, but why? Are you saying…”

“I am one of the Tuatha Dé Danann. We all are.”

There was a prolonged silence as Cedar stared at him, and everyone else stared at her, waiting for her reaction.

“You’re telling me that you are a…Celtic god? Because that’s…kind of crazy.”

“It’s the truth,” Riona said. “I know it’s hard to believe, but think about what you’ve seen and what Eden can do. Think about the staircase and what Nevan showed you she can do.”

Cedar looked into Riona’s somber, dark brown eyes. She certainly didn’t seem delusional. There were so many of them here, watching her with a quiet confidence. She thought of everything she had seen over the past couple of days and willed herself to keep an open mind.
Logical explanations are not the only option anymore,
she thought.

“Okay,” she said, trying to remember what she had read. It had been a long time ago. “So
if
you’re the Tuatha Dé Danann, why are you here? Didn’t they all go back to the land of Tír na nÓg?” Cedar tried to remember some of the stories she had read as a child. The Tuatha Dé Danann had ruled Ireland before the coming of the Celts, but had lost a great battle and had been relegated to Tír na nÓg, the Otherworld. Over the centuries, the Tuatha Dé Danann had developed into the “little folk” of Irish folklore.

“We did.” It was Nevan who spoke this time. She had perched herself on a stool beside Cedar and was watching her intently. “You remember well. We used to live here, on Ériu, what you call earth. But then we were defeated by the humans. We were forced to leave and make our home in the Otherworld. But it wasn’t so bad,” she said with a small smile. “Tír na nÓg is indescribably beautiful, and we could visit Ériu by using the sidhe. Some of us spent quite a lot of time here, for a while.”