KILL OR BE KILLED
“Bring the prisoner Anand to the gate,” he ordered in his best rebel Tamil. “He is to be interrogated regarding information he may possess about an army commando who has come to the jungle to interfere with the liberation struggle.”
The guards ……four of the …..stared at him and at each other. They didn’t seem about to follow the order with any degree of expeditiousness.
“Hurry it up damn you,” Kelly said, being as arrogant as he knew the rebels to be with these simple peasants. They got the gate open and, while three of them poised with aimed rifles at the motley crew of prisoners behind the fence, one of them went in to fetch a skinny, dark-haired youth who looked enough like Gomari to have been a twin.
Anand looked surly and uncooperative as the guard brought him to Kelly. The youth had spunk he looked at Kelly and spat on his boots and he wouldn’t have blamed him. If he had, though, He would have had to knock him flat for his efforts, to keep up his image as a rebel non-com.
Palming the dead Sergeant’s forty five, Kelly clipped the youth behind his ears and the youth fell to the ground unconscious. “He glanced over his shoulder at the guards. “It’s all right,“ he said. “I must interview him out of earshot. I will take full responsibility, two of you carry him while the other two guard the prisoners.”
They seemed nervous about it, but the one man closed the gate again and the others lowered their rifles and snapped again to attention. It was working like a charm. So far.
When they were out of earshot and had reached the place where he had dumped the body of the rebel he had killed. Kelly called for a halt.
“Okay, this is far enough he said extracting his own gun with the silencer fixed. As the two rebels lowered the still groggy Anand to the ground and stood up. Kelly calmly shot the two guards. As they dropped dead the youth sank to his knees trembling.
“Don’t say or do anything, Anand,” he said. Just help me get rid of these rebel bodies and do exactly what I tell you to do.”
“Who are you?” he questioned him in a trembling voice.
“A friend. I was sent here by your sister.” His eyes widened and a smile flickered on his lips.
“How do I know you speak the truth?”
“For one thing,” he said, losing patience, “You have no choice. You’re to be shot in a few hours. If I work it right , we may be able to walk out of this shit hole alive, so don’t waste precious time, even now they might have got wind of your escape and will be hot on our trail.”
“Sure,” he said, really surly now. “And once we’re out here you’ll kill me like you killed the two guards,”
“Don’t be stupid. If I wanted you dead, I could fire right now. Better still, I could leave you for your little party at noon. There’s another thing,” he fished the gold chain and locket from his pocket.
“Your sister gave this to me. There’s a note folded up in the locket. You can’t take a chance on reading it now. You have to trust me. And we….”
“You bastard,” Anand exploded, “you took this from her. You killed her and took this and came trying to convince me to tell what I know of the counter-revolution.”
“Again,” he said, sighing more deeply as patience ran thin. “Don’t be stupid. I left Gomari very much alive at the home of your cousin. She gave me that chain and…..”
“What is our cousin’s name?”
He told him the name Gomari had given him, having never met the cousin.
“You could have picked up the name from the authorities,” he snapped. “They know all my family and will kill them soon as I’m executed.”
Kelly was losing all patience with bullheaded youth. “Listen to me you little bastard, I don’t have time to exchange words with you, you either have to trust me or get shot like a dog by the rebels, make up your mind and do it soon.”
“I will kill you all for what you’ve done to my sister. I will not die at noon, you filthy bastard. I will live and I will lead the counter-revolutionaries to wipe every stain of you from the face of the earth.”
“That’s good, at least now I know that there is one who has the guts to fight the rebels, but first collect the fallen weapons from those dead rebels and beat the hell out of here and get your sister and the other villages to a safe place.”
The youth was partly convinced of Kelly’s genuinely effort. Collecting the weapons he helped to dispose the two dead bodies and with one of the weapons aimed at Kelly he asked.
“What are you planning to do now?”
“I aim to give those bastards who are following us a warm welcome with a little bit of fireworks, follow me,” he snapped. “If you do, we might have a chance of getting out of here. If you don’t, then you can go to hell for all I care.”
Kelly took off running, hoping he hadn’t lost his sense of direction for the trail that had brought him into this nest of trouble.
About half a mile away he stopped to collect his knapsack and the rest of his arsenal and made preparation for the welcome. Getting a few grenades he hid them on the trail with little markers and proceeded another five hundred yards or so to select a vantage position.
With his machete he cut down a stout branch from a nearby tree. Chopping off the little branches he got a nice little Y shaped branch and planted it in the ground and took up position at the entrance to the trail.
Trailing behind Kelly the youth watched in fascination, what Kelly was trying to do. He was now fully convinced that Kelly was genuinely a friend. “What are you planning to do?” he crept close to him and asked.
“Oh, for God sake, I told you to beat it from here and get your family and the villagers to safety and you are still here, it goes to prove that you are nothing but an idiot.” Kelly said getting his long barreled snipping rifle with the silencer ready.
Without another word the youth took off with the weapons leaving Kelly to his welcoming task. The wait did not last for long in just about forty minutes Kelly was able to spot more than a dozen of the rebels led by command captain Seelan himself dash up the trail.
Taking very careful aim he put pressure on the trigger of his rifle and felt it buck in his hand and saw Seelan stop dead in his track, he toppled headlong and remained still. The rebels didn’t know what hit their commander but they knew for sure that he was dead.
They took cover behind some boulders, exactly where Kelly had earlier planted the grenades. Not knowing what course of action they should take.
Dropping the rebel leader with his first shot Kelly shifted his aim at the little markers he had planted and pressed the trigger once more. One by one he fired at the markers and saw the hidden rebels being blown to kingdom come. With a final shot he blasted a huge bolder that came rolling down to block the trail.
With his job done he coolly collected his arsenal and followed the trail that the youth took to reach the village.
At the village the first person to spot him was Gomari and then the rest. The villages came rushing from their hiding places with eager faces. They had all heard the sounds of the grenades exploding and were anxious to know what had happened.
Anand came dashing to him. “I must thank you for saving my sister from the cruel rebels, I’m sorry I doubted your words,” he said. “She is safe now, but what about the villagers?”
“I told you to get them out of here and go somewhere safe till the whole damn thing is settled.” Kelly said.
“They refused to leave the farm, But I don’t think the rebels will bother them….they’re so old and helpless, and they’re blameless.” Gomari came forward and said standing very close to Kelly.
KILL OR BE KILLED
“You don’t know these rebel bastards,” Kelly said. “Their plans are long-ranging. They will be smarting from this defeat and humiliation. Now they will come in droves. They will kill every single one of you. It will be a very price for you to pay.” Kelly explained to them.
It was hard for him to convince them to leave but finally they all agreed to leave except Gomari who was headstrong and adamant to stay back and help Kelly to plan out his next move against the rebels.
“I wish I had been there to help my poor parents,” Anand said sadly. “What I feared would happen has happened. My parents are gone. I asked around, but the neighbors could tell me only that there was shouting and screaming in the night, two days ago. And there was shooting, then silence. I know, Captain Kelly, that our parents are dead. There’s nothing for us to live for.
“This may sound ungrateful to the memory of your parents,” he said, “but we haven’t time to mourn them properly. Our greatest chance is to find the nearest army camp.”
“I know a shortcut to the army camp,” Anand said brightening in spite of his grief for his parents. “If the people are ready to travel?”
Anand took the initiative to lead the villagers to safety. It was a grueling task for the older people and the young ones. They had to trudge a distance of nearly fifteen miles through the jungle, careful not to be trapped in a mine field to reach the nearest army camp.
Soon after the villagers led by Anand left Captain Kelly and Gomari had traveled all night, but he had also slept and rested for more than two days. He was ready. To make certain, Gomari insisted on carrying his rifle. She would have carried him, if she’s been strong enough. She couldn’t seem to show him enough attention, to touch him enough.
It became more and more obvious as they moved along dark trails toward a rebel ammunition dump guarded by a handful of young rebels, that Gomari had fallen in love with him. Recalling how he was when he was her age.
They were resting beside a clear-running stream along about noontime when Gomari brought him a container of water, sat beside him and gazed up into his eyes.
“I have not thanked you for saving our lives,” she said.
“I didn’t save your lives, Gomari,” He said, remembering that night when the rebel Sergeant with the enormous organ had tried to rape her. “I merely stopped….”
“You saved my life,” she said emphatically, placing her slender brown hand on his knee. “I had promised myself that very day that, if the rebels came again and did that to me, I would cut my own throat. What I was living, what I have been living the past three months, has not been life. It has been a kind of horrible death, full of terror and disgust, and no joy. I still feel the disgust.”
“For the rebels?”
She looked at him curiously. “No, for myself.”
“Why would you be disgusted with yourself? You did nothing wrong?”
She gazed at the ground and took her hand from his knee. “You do not think I am soiled? You do not think I am something for disgust?”
“Good God, no. Why would I think that?”
She didn’t respond and he began to think how similar rape victims are the world over. They cannot control what has happened to them, they were unwilling victims of one of man’s oldest invasions of privacy, yet they always seemed to feel guilt, or, in the case of Gomari, self-disgust. It was a phenomenon that never ceased to amaze him. He had no words to console the girl, or to change her mind about herself. But he still couldn’t remain silent.
“Virginity is important to you, isn’t it?” he asked.
Her head snapped up and she looked into his eyes for a time. Then, she looked away and muttered an almost inaudible “Yes.”
“Then, you must consider yourself a virgin, Gomari. In your mind, you are. You gave nothing of your own free will. It was taken from you. In God’s eyes, you are still unspoiled, if that’s the way you must look at it.”
A fraction of a smile crossed her lips, and then she was sad again. She looked at him, holding his eyes with hers.
“For many months before the rebels came,” she said, speaking as though to a priest, in confession, “I had certain thoughts, certain feelings, that I could not control. In spite of all that has happened, I still have those thoughts and those feelings.”
He understood perfectly. The girl was a woman; she had thoughts and feelings about sex. She has had them since her puberty. Because she had had them, she felt that what had happened to her was God’s will, which she hadn’t had her virginity taken from her. She believed her previous thoughts had actually caused the rapes to occur.
“The thoughts and feelings you had and are still having,” he said, “Are natural thoughts and feelings. Every human and every animal alive has those feelings. They shouldn’t be sources of guilt, though. In God’s eyes….and in mine….you’re still a virgin, still unspoiled, or whatever the word is.”
She moved closer, seeming to understand what he was trying to say. Or wanting to understand so badly that she was fooling herself.
“I know what thoughts are natural,” she said, “and what thoughts are not. What I am feeling now, for you, is natural. If I am a virgin still, I want you to be the one to receive the fruits of my virginity.”
His silence was his answer. Gomari sat gazing up at him for several seconds. “You think me still an immature child,” she said in a low voice, cutting his speculations short. “Well, I am not a child. I have experienced much growing up in the past few years. And yesterday was my birthday. I now am twenty-one, a woman.”
“Happy birthday, Gomari,” he said smiling.
She got up without another word and went to Kelly. Slowly she took off her clothing, laid herself down before him. Kelly, still seated, brooding long upon her nakedness before his hand, moving to his belt, dropped the slacks. Undressing as slowly as she had done, he unbuttoned the camouflage jacket, removed the boxer shorts. With a reverent expression, he came to sit beside her, splaying his hand on her belly.
His voice was low, choked “Is this what you want?”
Grief, loss, curled hurting in Gomari’s aching heart. Words cried out in her mind, so vividly she was afraid Kelly would hear: ‘I can do it. I can let it be the last fuck of all our beautiful fucks.’
She smiled; enticingly, she arched her loins. “Come into me, Captain, my dear.”
He went into her, allowing her wise hand to grasp his tool and guide it. She kept her hand between, holding his entering thrust half unfinished. “I do love you, Captain.” She whispered.
“I do love you, Gomari,” he whispered in reply.
It was more than she could bear. Still without allowing him to enter fully. Gomari fixed her mind on the painful perception that from the moment of their first fucking.
Such realization, however stark, could not deprive Gomari’s flesh of its reward when, taking away the controlling hand. She allowed Kelly to invade at last the further precincts of her body. His weapon was a bright longsword of sensual delight. She opened her loins deep and still as her vagina absorbed it, even as her soul opened quietly, deeply, in acceptance of the finality of this final act.
“Promise me one thing, Captain,” she said, when it was all the way in, and she could speak. “Never to forget me as a woman.”
“How could I ever forget?” he said lovingly. “Now shut up, Gomari, and let me please you.”
She shut up and he pleased her.
Gomari accepted Kelly’s fucking with an enormous passivity. She did not seek orgasm; she did not desire orgasm. She wished simply to experience Kelly’s prick in the greatness of his manhood, to store up somehow in the cells of her tenderest flesh a lifetime memory of length, of girth, of power. She wished never to lose…in flesh, in mind, in heart, the sensation of the power of a man’s thighs thrusting tirelessly a hundred times, thousand ….forever….before ultimately gushing a stored load of semen that wetted sweetly the jointure of their sex-engorged flesh.
That which Gomari had of Kelly, in this final coupling, was greater than any single orgasm could ever be.
They lay together for a time.
Gomari said, “Let’s proceed with our mission, Captain, dear.”
They rested only two hours and went on . Kelly lost his sense of direction and had no idea which way they were heading. Gomari seemed to know exactly where they were going and, in spite of her continued game of playing woman and bumping into Kelly in the darkness, giving him the full benefit of her womanly fullness, they made good progress.
It was nearly midnight when Gomari stopped ahead on the trail and held up a hand for quiet. They hunched in the jungle, unable to see much more than their hands before their faces. Kelly was about to ask Gomari why they were stopping when all hell seemed to break lose on the trail.
Gomari let out a piercing scream. Kelly was opening his mouth to add to the general hubbub when strong hands grabbed his arms and pinned them behind him. He got out one yell before a rough cloth sack was yanked down over his head. He felt the cord being tied, a little too tight for comfort, around his neck.
They were bundled deep into the jungle with a thick foliage and the sacks covering their faces were removed. From the circle of men stepped an enormously huge man. Most of his upper body was exposed. “I am Mahasen,” he said in a deep, rich voice with only a touch of growl in it. “I am chief of the group of people.” He motioned toward a tall, lithe brown man who was incredibly handsome.
“This is my son, Pawan who will lead my people against the rebels.” He said, “Now you will provide us with your names and the reason why you have invaded our lands, Talk fast.”
Recognition crept into Gomari’s mind and she screamed. “Uncle Mahasen, it’s me Gomari from the village with a friend.”
“My God, Gomari, what are you doing here?” he said barking an order to release them.
“My parents were killed by the rebels and this is Captain Kelly from the army who rescued me and my brother. We were on our way to demolish the ammunition dump of the rebels.” Gomari said eyeing the handsome young man who stood by the side of the chief.
“We are terribly sorry for rough handling you captain, in the dark we didn’t know whether you were a friend or a foe.” The chief said, “If you need our help please let me know.”
“Thank you very much for your kind offer, I think it would be best we reduce the risk to the minimum, it’s better if we continue with our mission alone.” Kelly pointed out. “In fact I would have made it on my own, but Gomari knows the jungle trail better than me.”
“You are certainly a very wise man, Captain.” The chief said agreeing to Kelly’s wishes.
They proceeded. In to a new day. In which there was not love, not even the promise of lust. Only dangers and a certain weary peacefulness of the spirit.
Gomari’s womanly soul had accepted the emotional facts of her being as it was on this day of her life. During the travail of lust and love…of spiritual and physical happiness….she had passed through with her young lover. Gomari had changed profoundly into something other than the person she had been. She had become a woman who at last, after too many sordid encounters, was at peace with her female sexuality.