Authors: Dianne Blacklock
Lexie turned to face Scott. âSorry, I should have realised you'd be too busy.'
âIt's okay,' he said, stooping to give her a peck on the cheek. âHow are you doing?'
She looked up at him. âI saw Tom and the girls off this morning.'
Scott nodded. âI know.'
Tom was taking the girls up the coast to stay with his parents for a while. The girls would miss some school, but it was the right thing to do; they needed to get away, and they all needed the kind of nurture and solace you could only get from family.
âI just couldn't be at home, it felt so quiet,' said Lexie, her eyes becoming moist, âlike she's really gone.'
Scott put a hand on her shoulder. âWhy don't you call the girls, meet them somewhere so you can talk about it?'
Lexie shook her head. âCatherine can't handle the kids.'
âWell, organise dinner then. Have a girls' night out, I'll stay with the kids.'
She shrugged. âI think that might make Annie's absence all the more obvious.'
Scott sighed, giving her hair a stroke. âI don't know what to tell you, hun.'
âYou don't have to fix it, Scott,' said Lexie. âI just wanted to talk.'
âSorry to interrupt.' It was Claire again. âI got you a table.'
âOh, I don't want to take one away from a paying customer,' said Lexie.
âYou're not,' Claire assured her. âThere's no one waiting right now. Except Riley. I've set him up at the table. What's Miss Mia going to have?' she asked, giving her tummy a gentle tickle.
âDo you want a smoothie like Riley, Mia?' Lexie asked her.
âMovie yike Ryee,' she nodded enthusiastically.
âThanks Claire,' said Scott.
She disappeared back into the kitchen and Scott handed Mia over to Lexie while he went to find a highchair.
âDon't you have to get back to the kitchen?' Lexie asked him when he brought one back to the table.
He shook his head. âThey can hold the fort for ten minutes.'
Once Mia was happily ensconced in the highchair with her Mia-sized smoothie, Scott reached across the table to take Lexie's hand. âAre you sure you won't think about going out tonight? Might cheer you up?'
âI don't think I'm up to it,' she said. âTo be honest, I don't know what's going to happen to the three of us now. I mean, Rachel and Catherine grew up together, they've always been friends. I only came into the group because of Annie. I would never have been friends with the other two, probably wouldn't even have met them in the normal course of things. We don't really have anything in common. I like Rachel, I think we have a genuine connection, but she's so easygoing anyone would get on with her. But Catherine . . .'
Scott covered his mouth with his hand, probably to hide a smirk.
âDon't look like that,' Lexie admonished.
He dropped his hand away. âI'm not looking like anything!' he protested. âGo on, what were you going to say about Catherine?'
âWell, we're different, we lead such different lives,' said Lexie. âI'm not sure how we'll go without Annie there to . . . bridge the gap, I guess. She was like Carrie, you know, in
Sex in the City
. Annie was our Carrie,' she nodded to herself. âYou see, everyone thinks Carrie's their best friend, but you never really know who Carrie considers her best friend. The thing is, she's the centre, the conduit that connects everyone. And Catherine, well . . .'
Lexie screwed up her face, thinking. âI was going to say she's like Miranda because they're both lawyers, but she's probably more like Samantha â a little full of herself, self-centred, though she is honest, if brutal. I'm probably most like Charlotte, because I'm married with children and totally happy with that. And then Rachel, well, she's a bit like Carrie too, I suppose.' She glanced across at Scott, whose eyes had glazed over.
âOh, I'm sorry, when did I lose you?'
âYou told me I should just listen. So that's what I'm trying to do.'
Lexie smiled. âYou probably think I'm silly trying to relate real life to a TV series.'
âI don't think you're silly.'
âIt's just a good analogy, that's all. Especially because there's four of them.' She sighed. âIt's always four, you know, in movies, books, TV shows . . . you think about it. Not just
Sex in the City
, but, um . . . there's
Desperate Housewives
. . .'
âAh, but wasn't there, like, half-a-dozen
Friends
?' he said.
âThat's true,' she nodded. âAnd if there were more of us, this wouldn't be such a problem.'
âWhy do you say that?'
âThe dynamic has room to adjust when there are more people, you can regroup. But with only three, there's nowhere to go.'
âWhat about
The Three Musketeers
?'
âThat story's all about d'Artagnan, the fourth musketeer.'
Scott thought about it. âThere were only three
Charlie's Angels
.'
âBut there was Charlie,' Lexie reminded him.
Riley started to giggle and they looked at him looking at Mia, who had managed to open the lid of her smoothie and had stuck her arm in the cup, all the way to her elbow. Scott leaped up and dashed over to the kitchen for a wet cloth. He returned and set about cleaning her up.
âMeth Daddy,' she declared.
âYes, Mia made a big mess,' he said, tweaking her nose. âMessy Mia.'
That made Riley giggle again, which in turn made Mia squeal with laughter as she realised she was the star attraction.
Scott sat down again, looking at Lexie. âAre you going to be okay?'
She nodded. âI guess all I've been trying to say is that it's just not going to be the same without Annie.'
âOf course it's not,' said Scott. âHow could it be? Things change, Lex, nothing stays the same forever.'
âI wish it could,' she said wistfully, gazing at her children. âWouldn't it be wonderful if they were never going to grow up and move away, if they could just stay children forever?'
Scott was shaking his head, smiling indulgently at her. She supposed that sounded foolish, but it was the way she felt. Annie's death had shaken Lexie right through to her core. The funeral was unbearable, and the wake . . . people talking, laughing, drinking wine. What was wrong with them? She even saw Tom smiling. Shouldn't he be shattered? How could he go on? How could any of them go on as normal? It didn't seem right that a person like Annie could be removed from the face of the earth and everything would still go on as before. A person like Annie, who was good, and had never hurt anyone, and who had always been there when Lexie needed her. And Lexie had believed she would always be there, and had imagined all the days stretching off into the future when Annie would be there, when Riley started school, then Mia, all the family birthdays, graduations . . . they would be the family friends in photographs of their every milestone.
But not any more. Things could change in an instant, catastrophically, irreversibly. So Lexie did wish she could stop time and hold her family close to her, no matter how foolish that sounded, or how impossible.
âRachel.'
Lloyd's voice behind her always sent chills. And not in a good way.
âLloyd.' Rachel swivelled around in her chair to face her direct supervisor looming over her, a man for whom a little power was
a disturbing thing. And for whom a little deodorant would not go astray. He really shouldn't wear synthetic fibres.
âYou placed an order for twelve cases of Handy Pickers on Tuesday last, correct?'
âIf you say so.'
âI don't have to,' he returned. âThe paper trail confirms it.'
So why was he asking her?
âI am therefore forced to wonder if you were aware that we currently have seven cases of Handy Pickers in stock, on hand as it were. And having said that, if you are conversant with the fact that Handy Pickers generally move at a rate of one case per calendar month, tops.'
He looked as though he was expecting an answer, but Rachel had lost track of the question.
âAt the same time, we are entirely out of Handy Grabbers, indeed we are waiting to process in excess of twenty back orders for the same.' He paused to take a deep, meaningful breath, allowing Rachel time to consider the enormity of the problem. âI don't think one needs to be a detective to work out that you have, in fact, confused Handy Pickers with Handy Grabbers.'
Rachel suppressed a yawn. âThere's a difference?'
He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment to emphasise his disappointment. âOf course there's a difference, Rachel. Your product knowledge leaves a great deal to be desired. Have you ever thought about taking the catalogue home to study over the weekend?'
âYou know, I haven't.' Which was the truth. She had never thought of doing that, it had never so much as crossed her mind.
âWell, I think this calls for a training session in Monday's staff meeting,' he said, jotting a note to himself on the clipboard he carried officiously around with him everywhere. Why didn't he get with the program and get himself a palm pilot like every other self-important middle manager?
Hold on, did he say âtraining session'? Rachel winced. She couldn't be responsible for putting the staff through that.
âLloyd, you don't need to cover it in the staff meeting. I'll take the catalogue home, I'll brush up on my pickers and grabbers, I promise.'
âGood,' he said. âThen you'll be all set to present it at the meeting.'
âWhat?' she gulped.
But he was already walking away, and Rachel did not fail to notice the spring in his step. Snide little man. Her phone started to ring and she swivelled her chair around again and reached for the receiver. âHandy Home Health Care,' she said wearily.
âRachel?'
She frowned. She knew that voice . . . âYes?'
âIt's Tom.'
She went blank. And speechless.
âTom Macklin,' he said after a moment.
Rachel roused herself. âSorry, Tom, I just wasn't expecting you to call me here at work.'
âIs that a problem?'
âNo,' she dismissed. âWhere are you calling from?'
âMy office.'
âYou're back in Sydney?'
âYeah, Sophie had to sit her school certificate,' he explained.
Life goes on. Unrelentingly. Next week it would be two months since Annie died, and Sophie was back sitting exams, and Tom was back sitting at his desk at work. But Annie wouldn't be waiting for them when they came home this evening. What had Tom said, that nothing would be normal ever again?
âHow are you all doing?' Rachel asked.
âOh, up and down,' he said in a weary tone. He was probably sick of having to answer that question. âIt's been good to stay up the coast, away from it all. Mum's been great, except she's always trying to feed us. She thinks food is the solution to everything.'
Rachel smiled faintly. âIt's a pity you had to come back so soon.'
âWell, it has been six weeks,' said Tom. âActually, I had intended staying put now till we go up again for Christmas, but Sophie wants to go straight back up there.' Rachel heard him breathe out. âI'm not so sure it's a good idea.'
âWell, I don't think they do all that much after their exams,' she offered.
âI'm not worried about that,' said Tom. âBut she's going to miss her formal.'
âDoes she realise that?'
âShe says she doesn't care.'
Rachel didn't know what to say, and she certainly didn't know why Tom was telling her this.
âI'm a bit worried about her, Rach,' he said. âAnd I was wondering . . .'
He paused. He paused for so long Rachel was beginning to think the phone had dropped out. âTom?'
âSorry, I'm still here.'
âWhat were you wondering?' she prompted.
âWell . . .' he hesitated, âwould you mind talking to her?'
âPardon?' Rachel wasn't expecting that.
âWould you mind talking to Sophie?'
âAbout what?'
âAbout why she doesn't want to go to the formal.'
âBut didn't she tell you she just doesn't care?'
Tom sighed. âYeah, but I think there's more to it.'
Rachel didn't doubt that. âWhy do you think she'll tell me?'
âYou're a woman . . . you know about this stuff.'
âBut I'm not a parent, Tom.'
âYou know more about girls than I do.'
âWhy? I don't have any of my own.'
âBut you are one.'
âI guess.'
âNo, you are,' said Tom. âI can tell the difference.'
Rachel smiled then.
âLook, Rach,' he went on, âyou get on really well with the girls, they love you.'
âLaying it on a bit thick,' she muttered.
âIs it working?'
She sighed. What was she doing? Tom was asking for help. There was only one answer. âSure, I'll talk to her, Tom.'
âThank you,' he said, clearly relieved. âDo you want me to come and pick you up?'
âWhen?'
âTonight.'
She blinked. âYou want to do this tonight?'
âWhy, are you busy?'
âNo, I'm free . . .' Just not prepared.
âSophie's really pushing for us to leave as soon as possible,' Tom explained. âI don't think I can put her off for much longer without a reason.' He paused. âPlease Rachel?'
She roused herself. So now she was making him beg? âOf course, Tom, tonight's fine.'
Rachel made her own way to Tom and Annie's â strike that â Tom's. That didn't sound right either. Tom and Sophie and Hannah's? Rather a mouthful. Tom and the girls'? Might have to do for now. This was going to be strange. Rachel was fairly certain she'd never been to their house when Annie wasn't there. Until the wake at least, and then it didn't even feel like their house.