Three Brides, No Groom (13 page)

Or was she?

The joy she’d experienced when she realized it was Eddie died a
quick and sudden death. Eddie, who’d purposely waited until after graduation to
cancel the engagement. Eddie, who’d led her to believe they were to be married
long after he’d known he wasn’t going to go through with it. Eddie, who’d
abandoned her without a qualm.

The line, charged with emotion seconds earlier, went strangely
quiet.

“So, Carol,” he asked, “are you teaching?”

It was all she could do not to tell him she was lucky to be
subbing, thanks to him. Even if she had said it, the sarcasm would have flown
right over his head. Eddie heard what he wanted to hear and nothing else.

“I know you must be a wonderful teacher,” he added. But he
couldn’t fool her. She knew him much too well. He was worried about whether she
was mad at him or not.

“I’ve been doing some substituting,” she explained, keeping her
voice calm. “When I’m not working for the school district, I’m doing some work
at Softline.”

“Softline,” Eddie repeated. “Isn’t that where…what’s-his-name
went? Clark the geek?”

Eddie would never think of Clark in any other way. Everyone
remained one-dimensional to him because Eddie himself was one-dimensional. “Yes,
geek,” she echoed, knowing it would do no good to remind him that Clark was
brilliant. It would take a dozen Eddies to make one Clark. No, a thousand
Eddies.

The stiff silence hummed like a buzz saw between them.

“Does Mark know you’re calling?” she asked bluntly.

“No,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Then why’d you phone?”

His laugh was forced. “What Mark doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
Anyway, I’ve only got one more game till the season’s over.”

The team was paying him megabucks to stand on the sidelines and
be prepared to step in if necessary. After being the star player at Queen Anne’s
for four glorious years, it must have been painful for him to stand idly by and
watch someone else collect all the glory.

In a blink of an eye Carol understood. His phone call made
sense now, perfect sense. He missed her, all right, because she wasn’t there to
soothe his ego, to pat his back and tell him how wonderful he was. That was
Mark’s job now, but Mark wasn’t her. He wouldn’t have her knack for what had
always been her specialty—ego damage control. And his poor ego must have taken
quite a beating over the past several months.

He wanted her. He needed her, and despite everything she knew
about him, being needed felt awfully good just then.

“Are you glad I phoned?” he asked in a little-boy voice that
told her he was craving assurance. Not just anyone’s, either. Hers. Only
hers.

Poor guy. Poor, pathetic guy.

She delayed answering, wanting him to suffer. “It depends on
the reason why you phoned, don’t you think?”

He hesitated and lowered his voice slightly. “I thought we
could talk about that later.”

“Really?” This was proving to be more interesting by the
moment. “When?”

“Next weekend.”

She held her breath while she debated what to do. She really
should give him a piece of her mind right then and there. Tell him exactly what
she thought about him—in small words, so he would be sure to understand. It was
what he deserved. A swift kick in the butt, and then she would be done with him
once and for all.

But she didn’t.

“Dinner,” he added, his voice dipping to a husky murmur. “Just
you and me, the way it used to be.”

She wasn’t even tempted. Her head snapped up, and she inhaled
sharply when she recognized the truth. She was free. Free from Eddie. Free from
the endless waiting. Free to move on with her life.

All the weeks, all the months, of mourning her lost love were
over once and for all. Her father had insisted she’d made a fortunate escape,
and for the first time she acknowledged that he was right.

Eddie was selfish and egotistical. She wanted no part of him.
Not now. Not ever.

“What do you say, sweetheart?” he prodded gently.

In the nick of time she bit back the words telling him what he
could do with his invitation. He wanted things to be the way they used to be. He
wanted her back, and was willing to sweet-talk her if necessary.

Well, by heaven, she would let him. He could talk all he
wanted, get down on his knees and grovel, but it would do no good. She would
take pleasure in laughing in his face.

“Dinner?” she asked, wanting to make sure they were meeting in
a public place with lots of witnesses.

“Sure—anyplace you want. Anyplace. I’ve missed you, Carol. Tell
me you’ve missed me, too,” he murmured.

“Why?”

“I need you to say it. I need you to tell me you’ve thought
about me.”

She hesitated, almost choking on the words as they slid past
her tongue. “I’ve missed you,” she said, and while it was the truth, it wasn’t
the whole truth. In the beginning, she’d missed him desperately; her heart had
been breaking. Not any longer.

“Wear that blue dress I used to love, will you?” he asked with
the same breathless quality he’d used when he’d first seen her in the skintight
satin dress.

“All right, I’ll wear the blue dress,” she said, smiling. She
had every intention of doing as he asked. She wanted his mouth to drop open when
she walked into the room. Wanted him to know exactly what he was losing.

“Will there be champagne?” she asked softly.

“Anything you want, sweetheart.”

“Where are we eating?” Wherever it was, it had to be expensive.
Very expensive. Not only would she derive a great deal of delight in flaunting
herself, but she wanted to be sure she ordered the priciest meal on the menu
before she walked out on him.

He named one of the best restaurants in town. “Is that good
enough for my sweetheart?” he asked.

“That’s perfect.” Lots of people would be there while she made
a fool of him.

This was too good to be true. After all these months she was
going to have her revenge. She knew that if she were noble and mature, she would
be frank but kind and tell him there was no hope of their ever getting back
together. She toyed with the idea for perhaps two seconds, then rejected it.

She wanted to see Eddie squirm. It was what he deserved, and
she was looking forward to making sure it was talked about around town.

“Saturday, then,” he said.

“Saturday.”

A moment later she turned off the phone. With her eyes closed,
she contemplated the conversation. This was good. Better than good. Though she
hadn’t known it until now, this was what she’d been waiting for.

She went into the kitchen and threw her arms into the air in
silent triumph. Joy all but exploded inside her. She was free, finally, finally
free, and it felt good!

She turned and realized that Clark was awake, sitting up and
watching her. His face was devoid of emotion, as if he’d only just awoken. She
sincerely hoped that was the case.

“Clark,” she said, so excited it was all she could do to keep
from telling him what had happened. He wouldn’t understand her need to see Eddie
one last time. “You’re awake,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t betray her.

He nodded, and his eyes seemed to look straight through her. “I
thought I heard the phone.”

She glanced down at the receiver in her hand as if she’d never
seen it before. “Yes…it did ring.” Then, attempting to gauge whether he’d heard
any part of the conversation, she said, “I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

He ignored that and asked, “Anyone important?”

She bit the inside of her lip, undecided how to answer. When
she did, she spoke the truth. “No.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment.

She was grateful, because it gave her time to collect her wits.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” she announced, as though she were serving a culinary
masterpiece. “Tuna casserole. I hope you like tuna? I would have asked, but you
fell asleep and…” The words tumbled out of her mouth like bowling pins struck by
a thirty-pound ball. When she realized she was talking too fast, too excitedly,
she shut up.

Rubbing the sleep from his face, Clark sighed heavily. “Who was
that on the phone, Carol?”

Chapter 5

“W
ho was that on the phone?” Carol repeated
slowly, giving herself time to debate how much she should tell him. Clark
deserved the truth, but she was afraid he would think less of her if he knew how
she planned to take her revenge on Eddie.

“Carol?”

“A friend,” she hedged.

“You seemed to be in a good mood when I woke up,” he commented.
“I looked up and saw you waving your arms as if you were celebrating something.
Whoever it was must have given you good news.”

The time to tell him was now, but still she hesitated.
Eventually she would explain everything. But all in good time, when they could
laugh about it together. She would fill in every detail, and announce that once
and for all Eddie Shapiro was out of her life. Then she would look at Clark and
suggest that perhaps it was time for them to be more than friends.

The timer dinged and, grateful for the distraction, she took
the tuna casserole out of the oven and set it in the middle of the table. They
ate in companionable silence. If Clark was quieter than usual, she didn’t
notice. Her own thoughts were humming along at high speed as she replayed the
phone conversation in her mind again and again, savoring every word.

All at once, for no apparent reason, Clark leaped to his feet,
almost toppling his chair.

She gasped. “Clark?”

He said nothing, only stared directly ahead, as if her
cupboards contained the answers to the universe’s most complex questions.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “What is it?”

“I’ve got to get back to work.”

“Now?”

“Now,” he said, and cast her a look so full of joy it was
almost blinding. He caught her by the shoulders, half lifting her from the
chair, and soundly kissed her. She was certain he’d meant it to end there. Just
a happy excited kiss.

But it didn’t. Instead, he kissed her a second time, his lips
hungry and urgent. She responded in kind, her inhibitions gone. Oh, this was
wonderful. More than wonderful. Why had it taken her so long to discover that
everything she’d ever wanted was right here within her grasp?

She clung to him, her fingers buried in his thick sweater. She
felt as if she were on a carnival ride, ascending higher and higher.

At his unspoken demand, she gave him what he wanted, her tongue
mating with his in an endless game of desire. A roaring sound filled her ears,
and she realized it was her own blood, her own heart, racing with happiness.

They’d exchanged kisses in the past, but these were
different.

She could tell that he felt it, too. He eased his mouth from
hers and stared at her, his expression dazed. She herself felt winded, although
somehow she continued to breathe normally. This feeling, this sensation, was
new, and she reveled in it. Marveled that she could share this wonder, this
excitement, with Clark.

She slid her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and
urged his mouth back to hers. The kiss sent her senses reeling once more. After
a few long moments she tore her mouth away and whispered, “Clark?” She wasn’t
sure what to make of what was happening between them.

He braced his forehead against hers and inhaled sharply, the
way a drowning man gasps for air when he breaks the surface.

“That answers my question, doesn’t it?” he said softly.

“It does?” Her eyes were still closed.

“Yes. About who was on the phone.” He released her, and her
eyes flew open. “Eddie Shapiro,” he continued, and she felt a sudden chill at
his tone. “I know. I heard far more of the conversation than I wanted to hear.
You told him you were working at Softline with the geek—who can only be me.”

He’d heard that? Oh, no! “Clark, I know what you’re thinking,
but it wasn’t like that.”

“I asked, but you weren’t exactly forthcoming with information,
were you? You’d rather I didn’t know you’d talked to Eddie.”

“Well, yes, but there’s a reason for that, and if you’d give me
a chance, I’d—” She wanted to say more, but he cut her off.

“Isn’t there always a reason, Carol?”

“Oh, Clark, don’t make this difficult. You’re right. It was
Eddie. He wants to see me and—”

“I know. I heard. He’s taking you to dinner, and he wants you
to wear your blue dress. And you’re happy about it.”

She hesitated, then confessed, “Yes, but not for the reason you
think.”

His laugh was short and devoid of amusement. “Carol, please,
I’m not stupid. Be honest—you’re thrilled. Don’t try to fool me. I saw you
dancing around the kitchen as if you’d won the lottery.

“This is what you’ve been waiting for all these months. Eddie
wants you back, and you couldn’t be happier. Otherwise you’d never have
responded to me the way you did just now. What was that, your swan song, to let
me know what I’ve been missing?”

“No!” She was truly insulted that he’d suggested such a
thing.

“Then you weren’t pleased to hear from Eddie?”

He was trapping her with logic, using her own responses against
her and not allowing her to explain or untangle this mess. “Maybe in the
beginning, months ago, I longed to hear from Eddie, but that’s all changed.”

“When?”

“When did it change? Heavens, I don’t know. It was a gradual
thing. I’d pined after him for months, and then one day I realized I didn’t care
anymore. I can’t tell you exactly when I stopped, because I don’t know.”

“That isn’t the impression I got. You sounded absolutely
delighted when you realized he was on the other end of the line.”

She groaned. He was right. If she claimed otherwise, he would
know she was lying. “Okay, I’ll admit when I first answered, I felt a certain
excitement. I’d been hoping he would call me for months, and then it finally
happened, but…my delight was more a sense of being right. Knowing that
eventually he would need me, then hearing from him.”

She paused and held Clark’s gaze. “I don’t want to talk about
him right now,” she said. “I want to know what happened just now between
us.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Don’t kid yourself. We’ve got something precious and
wonderful, I know it. I don’t want to ruin it by dragging Eddie into the middle
of it.”

A sadness entered his eyes. “Yes, I know. But unfortunately,
whatever it is, it’s too late. You’ve got your precious Eddie back.” Abruptly he
turned away and, without looking back, walked out the door.

Carol followed him outside, her emotions whirling like dry snow
whipped by the wind. “Clark!” she called after him. A chill raced up her arms,
and she folded them tightly against her abdomen. The cold that struck her had
nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with Clark. “Please
listen to me. I’m only planning to see Eddie this one time!” she cried. If Clark
would give her a chance to explain, then he wouldn’t be in such a hurry to walk
out on her.

“Right. One time,” he said, as he opened his car door.

“Clearly you don’t, or you wouldn’t be acting this way. I need
closure with Eddie. It has nothing to do with you and me.”

He climbed into his car and started the engine.

She couldn’t believe he was actually refusing to hear her
out.

Her anger carried her for nearly twenty-four hours. This
unreasonable side of Clark was one she’d never seen before. The man was both
stubborn and irrational. He’d refused to listen. He’d heard one side of her
telephone conversation and discounted everything she’d tried to tell him
afterward.

For three days she didn’t hear from him. Three of the longest
days of her life. Finally, deciding that this entire thing was utterly
ridiculous, she stopped by his office a few minutes before quitting time on
Friday.

When Mrs. Derby saw her, she smiled warmly. “Hello, Carol.”

“Hi,” Carol said, looking past the woman, hoping to catch a
glimpse of Clark. She’d been miserable, and she would be leaving soon to spend
the holidays with her parents. She needed to settle things between them before
she left.

“I don’t suppose Clark’s around?” she asked, raising her voice,
hoping he would realize she was there and come out to see her.

“Oh, sure, go right in.” It surprised her that Mrs. Derby
didn’t announce her the way she did everyone else.

Carol hesitated. “How’s he doing?” Her guess was that he was
still working himself to the point of exhaustion and not eating properly.
Worrying about him was going to be her excuse to explain this unexpected visit,
should Mrs. Derby ask.

“Mr. Rusbach’s doing much better,” Mrs. Derby surprised her by
saying.

“He is?” Carol’s ego appeared to be in for a beating, along
with everything else. Clark walked out on her, and it seemed he’d never been
happier.

Mrs. Derby’s smile revealed her approval. “Whatever was
bothering him earlier has worked itself out. He’s his old self, and I can’t
credit anyone but you.”

Carol wanted to believe it, but she knew otherwise. But it
didn’t matter. She needed to see him, to talk to him and tell him that she’d
received a wonderful job offer—a full-time teaching position. The only problem
was, she would need to move to Alaska. Still, the pay was excellent. She
couldn’t afford to turn it down. She would, though, in a heartbeat, if Clark
asked her to stay. And he would, wouldn’t he? He’d been tired and had
overreacted, and she’d allowed things to escalate. This evening they would laugh
about it, then put the problem behind them.

Wearing a smile, she walked toward his office. The door was
open far enough for her to see him sitting at his desk, shuffling paperwork. She
was convinced he knew she was there and had opted to ignore her.

This wasn’t looking good.

She glanced over her shoulder, and a smiling Mrs. Derby urged
her forward with a wave of her hand.

“Hi, Clark,” she said.

He glanced up but revealed no emotion. “Hello, Carol.”

“I’d like to talk to you, if I could.”

“Sure.” He gestured toward an empty chair.

She sat on the edge of the seat. “I think we should discuss
what happened the other night, don’t you?”

“Not particularly.”

So he wanted to make this difficult. “We can’t let this come
between us, Clark. I mean, we’re friends, and—”

“I assumed we were friends, yes.”

“We are,” she insisted. “Good friends.” She couldn’t have
survived the past six months without him. He’d lent her confidence and support.
Held her when she’d wept, encouraged her, helped her find a job. The list was
endless. “You really are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

He looked bored.

“I know you’re upset about me seeing Eddie again, but it isn’t
what you think.” She smiled, convinced that once he understood, he would laugh
about how silly their misunderstanding had been.

“I heard everything I needed. Spare me the details. You want to
have dinner with your ex-fiancé, that’s fine. I don’t have any claim on you. I’m
just the geeky guy who kept you entertained until Eddie Shapiro wanted you
back.”

“That’s not true!” Knowing how much being called a geek
offended him, she wanted more than anything to correct the impression. “And only
Eddie called you a geek.”

“You agreed with him.”

“No, I repeated it, for which I’m very sorry. The only reason
was because I didn’t want to argue with Eddie. You and I both know he’s no
rocket scientist. I realize how it must have sounded from your end, but please,
Clark, let’s put this behind us.” She waited for what seemed an eternity before
he spoke.

“Apology accepted.”

She heaved a giant sigh of relief and planted her hand over her
heart. “Thank you. You don’t know how badly I’ve felt about all this. I’ve got
so much to tell you. Has it really only been three days since we talked? It
feels like three years.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Clark, I was offered
a teaching position.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“It’s one of those ‘good news, bad news’ situations. I was
offered a job, which is obviously the good news,” she said, gesturing freely
with her hands. “But the bad news is I’d need to move to Alaska. The
second-grade teacher has developed a heart problem and needs to take a medical
leave, and you know me and kids—I love that age group. What do you think?”

“Think? What’s there to think about? I suggest you take
it.”

“You do?” The happiness drained out of her like water swirling
down a drain.

“This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?” he asked her,
smiling briefly.

“But it means I’ll be leaving Seattle.”
Leaving you,
she added silently.

“So it seems, but that’s progress for you.”

She was on her feet but couldn’t remember standing. The room
felt cold suddenly. “I guess that settles that, doesn’t it?” She forced an air
of breathless enthusiasm into her voice.

“I guess so.”

“You and Eddie are more alike than I realized. Neither one of
you has a clue what it means to really love someone. I…I assumed you were
different, but I was wrong. Goodbye, Clark.” She was too hurt to say anything
more. Clutching her purse to her side, she started to walk away.

Then her steps slowed, and with her back to him, she said,
“Before I leave, I’d like to thank you. I mean that sincerely.”

Her words were followed by a painful silence. She waited a
moment with her eyes closed, praying he would say or do something to stop
her.

He didn’t. She had no choice but to leave.

With her head held high, she walked out of Clark’s office and
out of his life.