Thou Art With Me (22 page)

“Valentine’s Day,” she whispered, and then smiled. It had been a long time coming.

22

It was Saturday morning and Cindy had just parked in the parking lot of the restaurant where she was meeting Jeremiah for breakfast. He had just beat her there and was standing right outside his car. She got out of her car, walked over and hugged Jeremiah tight. “I missed you last night,” she admitted.

“I missed you, too. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said with a grin. She stepped back and reached down and grabbed his hand. She gave it a squeeze and he squeezed back. Hand-in-hand they walked to the door.

“I’m starving,” she admitted as her stomach growled noisily.

“Yeah, I could eat-”

Jeremiah dropped her hand as he stopped talking. Startled she glanced at him. He was staring at something behind her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Before he could answer her she heard someone behind her call out, “Morning, Cindy, Rabbi.”

She turned and saw that Gus and a couple of the church members involved in the drama ministry were walking toward them.

“Good morning,” she said, struggling to regain her composure.

“Morning,” Jeremiah said, his voice sounding a little distant.

The three men walked inside and as soon as the door had closed behind them Cindy turned to Jeremiah.

“You stopped holding my hand because you saw them,” she accused.

“Yes.”

“That wasn’t cool.”

“We talked about this.”

“You talked about this. I’ve heard all your reasons that we should keep our whatever this is a secret. We can’t do that forever, though. Frankly, I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore.”

“I’m not ready to put us through that.”

She took a deep breath. Anger was rushing through her. Having him drop her hand that way had upset her and then embarrassed her. The truth was that Gus and the others had probably seen them holding hands anyway which made him dropping her hand that much more humiliating.

“You say you’re not ashamed to be seen with me, but you are scared,” she said.

“Yes, and you should be, too.”

“Well, I’m not. And you know what? I’ll put your mind at ease. You don’t have to stress out about dinner tonight and where we’re going or who will be seeing us or what we can and can’t do. Dinner is off.”

“Cindy, don’t do that.”

“Then promise me that you’ll hold my hand on the table regardless of who is in the restaurant.”

He stared at her, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s what I thought,” she said, turning and heading toward her car.

“What about breakfast?” he called after her.

“Not hungry!”

She got in her car, slammed the door shut and moments later was speeding out of the parking lot. She noticed he was still standing in front of the restaurant watching her go.

She hadn’t made it more than half a block down the road before the tears hit.

Jeremiah’s frustration was slowly giving way to fear. It had been five hours since Cindy had left him standing in front of the restaurant, and she still wasn’t answering her phone. He had even tried going over to her house, but she wasn’t home.

Finally, he got out his phone and called Geanie.

“Hello, Jeremiah?” she asked, sounding surprised when she answered the phone.

“Yes, I need to know where Cindy’s going to be tonight.”

“Um, I thought she was going to be at dinner with you. Is that no longer the case?”

“Yes, we had...a fight this morning.”

“Were you an idiot?” Geanie asked bluntly.

“Excuse me?”

“Cindy is crazy in love with you and she avoids conflict and confrontation in relationships like the plague. Plus she was really excited about being able to go out with you tonight. Therefore, in order for the two of you to have actually had a fight I surmise that you had to do something pretty epically stupid.”

“I refused to hold her hand this morning when people we knew were around. She was pretty angry. She’s not answering my calls, and I need to apologize.”

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone. “Okay, let me call her and find out where she’s going to be tonight.”

“Okay.”

He ended the call then waited. Five minutes later Geanie called back and he answered immediately.

“Well, the good news is I know where she’s going to be. The bad news for you is that it’s a very public place.”

“Where is she going to be?”

“She’s going to be volunteering at the Valentine’s dinner at the church tonight. There’ll be a lot of people from First Shepherd there. I believe there’s even some families from the synagogue who are going.”

“Okay.”

“Are you going to actually go?” Geanie asked.

“I think I have to. If I don’t try to make this right tonight then tomorrow might be too late.”

“So, you’re going to apologize to her?”

“Yes.”

“Have you gotten her a present yet?”

“No, I haven’t had time to do anything like that.”

“Get her red roses. It’s sort of the universal symbol of the holiday, plus most of us are a sucker for them.”

“Okay, thanks for the advice. Are you and Joseph going to the dinner?”

“No, we’re going camping. Going to a church function like that as a staff member, even if you’re not supposed to be working you end up working.”

“I understand. Well, I hope you have a wonderful evening.”

“Thanks, you, too. You know, Cindy’s never had a real boyfriend before. And unfortunately, even though you reciprocate her feelings, in many ways she still doesn’t have one. You understand?”

“Yes,” he said, trying to get his emotions under control.

“Secret romances can be fun for a little while, but they pale in comparison to the thrill of pointing to the object of your affection and saying ‘that’s my guy’.

“And I’m robbing her of that.”

“Yes.”

“I know. Thanks for the help. I need to get to the store.”

“You’re welcome. Good luck.”

Jeremiah ended the call, grabbed his keys, and headed outside. He’d had nearly half a year to figure out how to best let people know that they were dating without creating more headaches than either of them were willing to deal with. He hadn’t come up with anything. Not that he’d tried overly hard.

To be honest, he had still expected Cindy to wake up one day, come to her senses, and decide she didn’t want to be with him after all. It was possible she might still do that, but to lose her because he wasn’t willing to be open about their relationship was unacceptable. G-d had brought them this far. It was up to Jeremiah to make the next move.

Cindy was miserable. She felt like she was walking around the gymnasium in a fog. It was Valentine’s Day and she was wearing her new red dress. Instead of being out at a nice dinner, though, she was stuck here serving dinner to a lot of happy couples and families. It had been her first chance in her life to have a proper Valentine’s Day date, and she was upset that it had fallen apart. She had told herself that coming down and volunteering at the church event would be better than sitting home alone wallowing in her sadness and frustration. She was beginning to think that maybe she had been wrong about that.

She kept telling herself that it was stupid. February 14th was just a day like any other. And in the grand scheme of things she really was far more upset with the fact that Jeremiah was having such a hard time being public about them dating or quasi-dating or whatever it was that they were doing. Was it too much to ask that they be able to hold hands in public and that she be able to tell people he was her boyfriend?

She understood everything that he’d said. She knew that it wasn’t as simple for them as it was for most couples. She was tired of having to keep it secret, though. And, realistically, if they couldn’t tell anyone, what future could they really ever hope to have together?

One thing was for sure, the way things were now was slowly killing her. Sometimes she felt that he really did want her to release him from their relationship, whatever it was. What if she did, though? She could never go back to being just friends with him, not after everything that had happened. And the thought of not having him in her life was too much for her to take.

“Cindy, you okay?”

She turned and saw Dave staring at her, a worried expression on his face.

“I’m fine,” she said, although she could barely manage a smile.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry to see you here tonight. You look wonderful, though.”

“Thanks. I’m surprised you’re here.”

He shrugged. “Long story. I’m glad to see you’re at least wearing the dress.”

She took a deep breath. “It’s my party dress, and it’s a party. I kind of had to wear it.”

Dave gave her a sad smile, and then his eyes drifted past her. “Well, I think I know at least one person who will appreciate it.”

She turned to look in the direction he was staring and her heart skipped a beat. Jeremiah was standing just inside the door, scanning the crowd. He was wearing a dark suit and holding a bouquet of red roses. He spotted her and strode toward her quickly, a determined look on his face. He passed right by Mark, Traci, and the babies seemingly without even noticing them. A family from his synagogue waved and he didn’t so much as glance in their direction.

At last Jeremiah stopped in front of her and handed her the roses. “These are for you,” he said.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful,” she said as she took them from him.

“I am truly, deeply sorry. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you will never be able to understand just how much you mean to me. I’m sorry that I’ve allowed my fear to hurt you, to get in the way of us being able to have a real relationship.”

She could feel tears beginning to form as she struggled to get words out. “It’s okay. I understand. Everything you said makes sense.”

“Is it too late for me to hold your hand in public?” he asked, eyes boring intently into hers as though they were piercing her very soul. Slowly he held out his right hand to her.

She stared at it for a moment, heart racing. He was offering a public display of affection, the kind he had refused earlier that had led to the fight. She knew what a big deal it was, what it had probably cost him.

“No, it’s not too late to hold my hand,” she said, her voice cracking slightly with emotion. She extended her left hand, and touched his. They were palm to palm for a moment. Then he closed his fingers around her hand.

He closed his eyes for just a moment, and she would have given anything to know what he was thinking right then. When he opened his eyes again there was something shining in them, a light that was fierce and soft all at the same time.

And then suddenly, still holding her hand, he sank down on one knee. Gasps went up all around the room and everything grew completely silent as Cindy stared at him, wondering what he was doing.

“Cindy Preston, when we met nearly three years ago I was an empty husk of a man, living the life of a ghost. And then, I heard you scream, and I came to your rescue, or so I thought. I had no idea then that you were actually the one rescuing me. Every time I tried to stay away from you, telling myself it was better, God kept leading me straight back to you. I was falling and there was nothing I could do about it. I have never been so helpless in my entire life.

“But I was afraid. Afraid of the challenges, afraid of letting you in and letting you see the real me. And one by one you crushed those fears. You lifted me up and made me a better man. You have seen me at my worst. And now all I want is to spend a lifetime working to make sure you see me at my best.”

He reached into his jacket with his free hand and pulled out a small box. He flipped open the lid and she stared in shock at a golden ring with a heart-shaped diamond.

“Cindy Preston, I’m asking you in the sight of God and all these witnesses if you will grant me the privilege of standing by your side and protecting you and loving you always. Will you do me the honor of consenting to be my wife?”

Jeremiah’s eyes were shining, but it was hard to see them through her own tears. She nodded her head mutely until she finally found her voice.

“Yes, Jeremiah, I will marry you,” she said.

He took the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger. Then he stood up and the room erupted in cheers and applause and more noise than she’d ever heard in her life, but it all fell away as he took her in his arms and kissed her.

His lips were soft and warm against hers, and she could feel his arms around her, supporting her. She didn’t know how long they were like that, but it seemed that the kiss would last an entire lifetime.

Then she felt more arms coming around her and she looked up and saw Mark and Traci’s faces. They were both crying and hugging her and Jeremiah in one big, group hug. Dave rushed forward and was clapping Jeremiah on the back.