Those Angstrom Men!. (13 page)

At the Editors’ Meeting two days later, Dennis presented his twelve month series for
Most Eligible Bachelor in Britain
. He’d put David smack in the middle as
Mr. July
.

Daisy considered the material. An evil thought loomed.
Using this, she could annoy that bird of paradise all year, the way his continual correspondence annoyed her all year
.

“Dennis,” she said sweetly, “You’ve done a remarkable job with these articles, better even than the first two series. I’d just like to make one small suggestion...”

Everyone stilled. Whenever Daisy made
one small suggestion
you knew it was major, usually brilliant, and you knew it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order.

“Eh, what were you thinking, Daisy?” asked Martina, the Photo Editor.

“I was thinking that we switch David Angstrom to January,” said Daisy. “After all, he
is
even better looking than his brother Ian, isn’t he?”

A collective sigh of
“Yes
” emitted from the women around the table.

“He’s not as rich, but he’s richer than ninety percent of the men in Britain, and he has an interesting life, so...”

“So?”
asked the women as one.

“...so, if we run him in January, for the next eleven months we could do a story on him, you know, spotlighting a year in the life of one of Britain’s most eligible men...”

Dennis laughed out loud. “Brilliant, Daisy, just brilliant. He’s going to win the voting and come out Number One in our poll anyway, and top next year’s list, so this will be the icing on the cake. “I’ll call it ‘
What David Did In January, February, March...’
you get the picture
...
”

“Excellent title,” said Daisy.

Sarah smiled. She saw an opportunity to spend a little one-on-one time with David Angstrom.

“Why don’t I ask him if he’ll let me feature him in a layout focusing on business attire?”

Daisy grinned. She was sure David Angstrom would refuse, but she suspected the invitation would bug him severely.

“Great idea, S
arah. Make it early in the year, maybe for the February issue?

“
If he agrees, you could ask him again for another feature on sportswear, maybe film that one on his sailboat, and then ski fashions.”

Those three invitations would pay him back for the
Logic Problems
ongoing barrage of letters.

Tom was retained on a one year contract, with an option to renew for two years.

He had mixed feelings about it. The money was fabulous, but David was a great chap, and it did seem intrusive, even to Tom, to shadow the man for a year, just for some stupid magazine article.

Daisy had thought
up Tom’s contract to pay David back for the fact that the magazine she’d sold him so cheaply was now Number One in revenue and reviews in its category, and David had the gold statuette on his mantle to prove it.

It had bested
Building in Britain
by fourteen percent.

Daisy had to make do with the silver statuette on her mantle, and Daisy didn’t do silver...
she’d skipped the presentation of the awards and sent the Editor-In-Chief in her place, that was how much Daisy didn’t do second place.

Oh, yes, this was going to be sweet, very sweet...

                    
* * *

It was November when David got the letter...

Dear Mr. Angstrom:

You will be delighted to learn that you have been chosen to lead off Wonder Women’s Third Annual Most Eligible Bachelor List as Mr. January.

Your brother’s popularity in our first two series will no doubt be surpassed by your own.

When I saw you at a Business Luncheon a few months ago, I realized that you definitely head the list of Most Eligible Bachelors.

I am enclosing, as a courtesy, a proof copy of the first article that features you.

There will be no need to send a complaining, carping letter to D.S. Fowler, as that’s me, and it’s Ms., not Mr. as you assumed. I will, sometime in the next year, demonstrate your sexist attitude to Britain’s young women.

Yours sincerely,

Daisy S. Fowler

Managing Editor, Woman’s World and

Managing Director, Fowler Publications

David groaned.

He cursed.

He threw the pillow from his sofa across the room.

He called his brother.

“Ian, they’ve got me. I’m going to be on that blasted
Eligible Bachelor
list!”

“How do you know?”

“That damned magazine sent me a letter.”

“They sent you a letter? Actually, that was polite of them. They never sent me a letter. The first I knew of it was when our cousin Jane called me and told me she’d seen me in the rag.”

“I’m going to call Alec. He’s my solicitor and he can stop it!”

“Save your money. I did that and it didn’t work. Freedom of the press and all that b.s.
As long as they don’t out and out slander you, they can do what they like.”

“Yeah, well...well she says she’s going to expose me as a sexist pig.”

“What? You, sexist?”

“Totally ridiculous, isn’t it? Half my engineers are women. Five of my construction foremen are women. Two of my vice-presidents are women. I love and respect women.

“Hell, I even race my sailboat with an all woman crew!”

“And you even provided them with uniforms, didn’t you, David? Yellow bikinis with a white sailboat embroidered on the left bra cup...” laughed Ian.

He was going to enjoy David’s discomfort. Heaven knows, David had teased him enough about the bloody
Most Eligible Bachelor
nonsense.

“She isn’t referring to the bikinis, which are very tasteful, by the way
and only for sunbathing purposes. She’s referring to the fact that we’ve been corresponding for some time, over a year now, and I assumed D.S. Fowler was a man. I even looked up her biography on their website, and nowhere does it give a clue she’s a women.”

“Write a letter of apology, David, and copy the biography to show how you could be understood for making such an error...believe me, the woman has the ability to make your life hellish.”

David saw his cousin Alec anyway. Ian was right. He should have listened. Alec was appropriately sympathetic and waived the fee.

He sent another letter

Dear Ms. Fowler:

Please forgive my understandable error in assuming you are male. Obviously you are female. But I had pulled up your biography from your company website and I have copied it below:

The youngest child of Franklin Fowler, D.S. Fowler was educated at Cambridge and Harvard and spent time with the Hearst Corporation in the United States before returning to Britain to assume the helm of Fowler Publications.

Nowhere does it imply you are female. Since most C.E.O.’s are male, it was a Logical, if erroneous and politically incorrect assumption. Again, I apologize.

I would like to point out that half my engineers are women. Five of my construction foremen are women. Two of my vice-presidents are women. I love and respect women. I even race my sailboat with an all woman crew.

As a successful magazine owner myself,(winner of the gold statuette when you received the silver) I carefully considered my inclusion on your Bachelor list.

I came to the conclusion it could be detrimental to your circulation statistics to include me on your list. Surely, after been exposed to the Angstrom name for two years now, your readership would find me boring?

Again, my sincere apologies are offered.

But could I suggest, humbly, that you need
a new Editor-In-Chief for your Logic magazine division?

Yours truly,

David Angstrom

Daisy smiled, then she chuckled. Then she let out a triumphant belly laugh.

Yes! Yes! Yes! She’d succeeded in getting under his skin.

She reread the letter. She grudgingly admitted to herself that perhaps, just perhaps, the man had a point. At the time, being female and only twenty-six, she had made the decision to have her biography as brief and androgynous as possible.

She composed her reply.

Dear David:

Re: Your last letter

Upon review of my biography, I can see how you may have concluded I was
a older gentleman, so your apology is accepted. Also, my predecessor was my uncle, D.T. Fowler, and he was male and over seventy, so if you thought I was him, I do understand.

I beg to differ from your conclusion regarding your inclusion in our Most Eligible Bachelor series.

Your brother’s popularity grew over the two years he was on that list. My female editors unanimously agree that you are even more handsome and have a better physique than Ian, and they are enthusiastic about your inclusion as an Eligible Bachelor. The only thing that will take you off the list is being married, so save your money and don’t bother to consult your solicitor, but I’m sure Ian has already told you that, hasn’t he?

You seem to enjoy dating a lot of women, David. Think of the millions of women you haven’t met yet who will be eager to make your acquaintance.

As far as the Logic magazines are concerned, they don’t really fit into my portfolio, so if you want to buy all three, the price is Half a Million.

Yours truly,

Daisy S. Fowler

Managing Editor, Wonder Women

Managing Direction, Fowler Publications

Waiting for her at Fowler Publications two days later was a letter.

Dear Daisy:

Re:
Your Logic problem magazines

My Finance Director has reviewed the circulation and
advertising revenue of these magazines.
She
informs me that ninety percent of your revenue comes from sale of the magazines, and my Advertising Manager feels in
her
educated opinion, there is not much scope for advertising revenue, although she does have a couple of good ideas.

Therefore I would offer you Three Hundred Thousand Pounds for the three publications.

If you agree, please have your legal department contact my legal department...

I look forward, as the English
Logic Problem Champion for three years running now, to owning this group of magazines.

Yours truly,

David Angstrom

Managing Director

Angstrom Leisure Publications, a division of

Angstrom Holdings

David was proud of that touch,
Angstrom Leisure Publications.
He’d proposed to Dad and Ian to form such a division to publish the Logic magazines, if she’d accept his price.

They’d laughed at him and said of course he could be Managing Director of the as-yet unformed division.

Daisy sighed.

David’s
female
executives had been quite correct in their analysis of the Logic publications. The fact that he wasn’t sexist stuck in her craw...

She instructed her legal department to contact his legal department and sat back to see what he was going to do with them.

Daisy was miffed, but she wasn’t stupid. David had shown her with that building magazine he knew what to do.

As well as the
Logic magazines, Daisy had Crossword, Sudoku, Word Seek, Math Problems and Variety publications, all of which broke even, none of which made much money, but all had a rabid following. Daisy sat back, waiting for David to demonstrate how to make money in this market sector.

He didn’t disappoint her
, much to her chagrin. Daisy didn’t like a
structural engineer
showing her up. She didn’t like it at all.

Within six weeks, he’d taken his three
Logic magazines and sold advertising to some mainstream companies her advertising gurus had never thought of approaching – computer companies, upscale shops, travel agents. He had revamped the boring websites, done an aggressive internet promotion and tripled the revenue.

He’d even arranged for a cruise line to have a special cruise for puzzle lovers with competitions each morning and afternoon!

The crowning glory of David’s campaign was when he arranged with Britain’s major airline to have a copy of his new magazine inside every seat pocket for the next month.

Britain’s Best
reported that strategy alone had resulted in over a hundred thousand new subscriptions worldwide.